Mini-Ep 458: Wigs, Babies, and Bronzer
Elise finishes up her health scan and Doree heads to dinner with the coolest golf club in town. Then, they hear from listeners about the emotional usefulness of wigs, preparing to leave a child for the first time, and those moments when your parents shock you.
Mentioned in this Episode
Sonic the Hedgehog sneakers
Nutrafol
Prescription minoxidil
Trader joes coconut almond vanilla milk
Episode 365: People Like Me Better When I Cry with Jena Friedman
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever35 Podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise Hu (00:17):
And I'm Elise Hu. And we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree Shafrir (00:21):
And this right here is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember, we are not experts, our podcast hosts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Elise Hu (00:42):
Yeah. Though we love your questions and most of the time the questions that come in do not require expert takes. This is true. This is very true. You just want experience and you just want a little advice from somebody who might have gone through something like this or has bought the product. That might be helpful for said problem though. I do appreciate when we have asked questions like how to clean a tutu that we have listeners out there who can then call in. This is a two-way conversation, right? It's not like one to many. It's so true. It's an ongoing living, breathing conversation with y'all every week, which is why we're so glad that you tune in every week because yeah, we've gotten some really good hacks this year regarding the two cleaning and my charging cables. Keep going, missing inexplicably. Where do they go? Do they go to the same place as the other sock? You know how the other sock always goes missing from the dryer? They must go to charging cable slash missing sock heaven.
Doree Shafrir (01:47):
What else is happening with you?
Elise Hu (01:49):
What else is happening?
(01:51)
Well, I am done doing my blood tests for my function health membership. So I'm starting to get a bunch of biomarkers back and most of my biomarkers are great, but this function health program, they test you on so many different things that you're bound to have something that's a little off. And so now I'm some random blood indicator that is tied to my immune system is a little bit off or 31 instead of 32, which is the normal range, the bottom of the normal range. And I'm like, well, am I supposed to do something about this? Is this just to sell me a supplement? I'm not quite sure, but yeah, I'm getting some of those back. And then this weekend, what is happening this weekend? Ava's got volleyball tryouts next week, so she's going to be making sure she's back into that groove. And we're going to probably do a little outdoor picnic concerting over at the golf course, but I haven't done that much this summer. We've talked about it, I think on the casual chats, how there's kind of a low rent Hollywood bowl over here on the west side where there's concerts on the lawn of the public golf course, the Penmar, and it's quite a scene like everybody who's under 30 years old and lives in Venice comes out it feels like, and it kind of looks like a Hollister ad.
Doree Shafrir (03:17):
It was really big on TikTok last summer. I feel like I haven't seen it as much this summer. Maybe my algorithm has changed.
Elise Hu (03:24):
Yeah, maybe it's sparing you. It's sparing you all of the content of the long skirts and you made some comment about how all of the hair is the same color. Everybody kind of has the same highlights. People in storefront posters seem to be at the penmar, so we're going to do that on Friday. I am going to host a book event or moderate a book event for a friend of mine from the Texas days later tonight. So looking forward to that. Otherwise it's pretty chill. Any headlines in your world?
Doree Shafrir (04:06):
Not a ton. I'm going to a dinner tonight for this really cool organization, I guess, I don't know, club called Bunker Club. That's like a golf club for women and queer identified people. And I became friendly with the founder and I've played poker with her a bunch of times. Oh, cool. Yeah, so I'm going to this dinner for them tonight, which I'm excited about. It's always cool. People who I would never encounter in my,
Elise Hu (04:39):
Are they all golfers?
Doree Shafrir (04:41):
They are mostly all golfers. They have accepted me. I have said, look, if I didn't have all this tennis stuff, I would happily come golf with y'all. But it's just golf is very time consuming.
Elise Hu (04:56):
It sure is.
Doree Shafrir (04:58):
But I really like their whole ethos and what they do. So cool. I try to hang with them as much as I can.
Elise Hu (05:06):
Good.
Doree Shafrir (05:08):
Not much else going on here in our world. It'll be end of Henry's first week of school and he's worn his Sonic the Hedgehog, his new Sonic the Hedgehog sneakers every day.
Elise Hu (05:20):
Oh rad. See when there are these kinds of kid items, I always wish they made them in adult sizes because I would rock the Penmar Golf Course concert series on Friday if I had some Sonic the Hedgehog sneakers.
Doree Shafrir (05:37):
Oh my God.
Elise Hu (05:39):
I have these sequin bomber jackets that are so cool, which I only have because I bought them in size 1416 from the kids section. Oh my gosh. Because they don't make 'em an adult. Yeah. Oh, and I told you, as some of our listeners may know, I love my CC cushion and my CC cream, which is like a tinted moisturizer slash foundation slash sunscreen that I get from the max stores in Singapore because only in Asia do they make the light full CC cushion. But then in Northeast Asia, they don't make shades dark enough for my skin, so I have to get somebody to mule it specifically from Singapore or maybe other places in Southeast Asia that have max stores that sell this delightful CC cushion. But my friend Sarah, who I haven't seen all this year, who's my usual mule because we haven't seen each other.
(06:32)
I'm out, I'm out of my cushion, like the actual foundation stuff. And so I have found a replacement. I'm very excited about it. It is not, I have to put it in my cushion applicator, so I'm still using my light full packaging, the device like the little sponge and everything. But I'm out of the actual foundation product and I have replaced it with the IT cosmetics CC cream, which is available in Ulta stores. And it's excellent. It's great. It's not too greasy, not too cakey, not too heavy. And it's a CC cream I'm still using. I don't have the right application device, but I have CC cream again from Ulta where I can just pop over in four minutes. So very exciting. Wow. If any of y'all have had experience with this line of cosmetics, please do share because I was trying stuff out and was pretty happy with it.
Doree Shafrir (07:34):
I love that you have a specific country that you need to buy your products. It's crazy.
Elise Hu (07:42):
It's annoying. It's really annoying.
Doree Shafrir (07:44):
I know. I shouldn't say I love, I mean I like that you have found this. It's a quirk, but it's also like why does it have to be that way? Right.
Elise Hu (07:53):
It turns out IT cosmetics, which is available at Sephora and Ulta, now that I'm seeing it online, it's CC Cream is not bad. And I found it in just the right color, just the right color for me. Oh, interesting.
Doree Shafrir (08:08):
Interesting. Well, before we take a break, we did get a message that said, Hey, does a glass Tumblr with a wooden lid for ice coffee count as free mugging as the official arbiter of free mugging? I am going to say, no. This is not free mugging.
Elise Hu (08:29):
There's still a lid. Even though lid is not secure, there's still a lid.
Doree Shafrir (08:33):
Yeah, it's still a lid. And so you are not free mugging. Thank you. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Judgment. Yes, exactly. Judgment has concluded. Okay. And now really before we take a break, please call or text us at (781) 591-0390. This is a very voicemail heavy episode. I will just say
Elise Hu (08:56):
Great. Yay.
Doree Shafrir (08:57):
And you can also email us at Forever35podcast@gmail.com. We also like getting emailed voice memos. Unfortunately, if you try to text those to us, Google Voice does weird things and doesn't like them, but you can email them to us. You can also visit our website Forever35podcast.com. We're on Instagram at Forever35podcast. Our newsletter is Forever35podcast.com/newsletter. And our favorite products are at shop my US slash Forever35. And after the break, we have a listener who called in with another option for hair loss. And we also have a voicemail about traveling without your seven month old leaving your seven month old at home. So stay tuned. We'll be right back. Okay. We have returned and as promised, we have a voicemail. Let me just preface this by saying there's some weird outside noises from this person's wherever this person was. So just keep that in mind as you're listening to it. Try not to get too distracted.
Listener Voicemail (10:12):
Okay. Hi. I was just listening to Minnie F 4 57 and the caller who called in about asking about do's care loss journey. So I just wanted to give sort of another side of the coin of there is hope variety. So I have always had dairy pine, very thin hair, but after I had my second daughter, she's seven now. The shedding was more intense than I had ever experienced before and it didn't end up growing back the way that typically postpartum care loss usually grows back eventually. Mine never grew back. So I started doing, I mean, I left no stone unturned and unfortunately, literally nothing worked. So I decided to go to wigs and I did tons and tons of research and I ended up with being this wig maker that's very, very great wig maker who does lace top wigs, which I swear to you, they are so amazing.
(11:20)
You cannot tell at all. People who don't know that I'm wearing one, when they see it, when I tell them, when they find out, they're like, how is that even possible? So it was very sort of scary and there was sort of a morning process involved in all of this, but I've now been wearing wigs every day for the past probably three, three to four years. And it really has changed my life and my self-esteem and absolutely everything. I have the hair of my dreams. I never have a bad hair day. So if all of the different medications and all of the doctors, if they don't work for you, there is another option. And I took that route and I am really, really, really, really happy with it. So if anyone lives in the New York area, I would be happy to tap along the wig nickname. She's unbelievable. And yeah, just so you know, no one talks about female hair loss ever, but it happens to a lot of people and it's going to be okay.
Doree Shafrir (12:20):
Okay. I think this predates you, Elise. But for, there was a period where I was very wig curious and I was like, should I get a wig? Maybe a wig is the way to go. So I was intrigued by this listener's voicemail. It seems like
Elise Hu (12:39):
Listener, it's really on theme too for the week, because we also had E Jean Carroll on Monday. Yes, that's right. Who loves her wig? Her Bob, which is now her signature look, is a wig.
Doree Shafrir (12:51):
Is a wig. Yes. And it's a great look for her.
Elise Hu (12:55):
It looks so chic.
Doree Shafrir (12:57):
Yes. So a good wig can be very expensive. Although then there's also these wig influencers on TikTok who talk about getting these cheap wigs from Temu. They look good. I mean, they're probably just doing affiliate link farming, but maybe that's somewhere to start. I don't think from Temu, but a cheaper wig just to see if I like the vibe of a wig.
Elise Hu (13:30):
Well, you know what else is very expensive and all those products.
Doree Shafrir (13:35):
That's true. But what is not expensive for hair growth is prescription minoxidil.
Elise Hu (13:40):
Yes. Is very cheap. You've talked about that because insurance will pay for it.
Doree Shafrir (13:44):
Yes. It's like $3 a month or something with my insurance. It's insanely
Elise Hu (13:50):
Cheap. That's great.
Doree Shafrir (13:52):
So I see a lot of people thinking they have to use these very expensive medication or supplements, and I'm like, well, or you could try this other thing that is very inexpensive and now onto a totally different topic.
Listener Voicemail (14:10):
Alright. Hi Doree and Elise. I'm a first time parent of a seven month old, and I have been back at work for about four months or so, and I'm about to start traveling again. I don't have to travel very much for work more just a couple times per year. But I have some work trips coming out for two and three nights respectively, just to other cities here in the US and my partner and my mom are going to handle the parenting while I'm gone. But just wondering if you have any tips about how to best care for myself during this time and deal with the worry and anxiety or guilt. I'm feeling about getting on a plane for the first time without my baby and being so far away. I'm just thinking a lot about what if she gets sick? Well, I'm gone. What if there's an accident?
(15:06)
What if something happens to her and then I wasted my time that I could have spent with her? Or just simply, what if she forgets about me or misses me? And I'm normally a very independent person, but I'm still adjusting to parenthood. So would appreciate any thoughts you have about self-care during this time. Thanks. And just PS I'm already in therapy and on meds for anxiety around this or parenting and this whole experience over the last few months in general, which I highly recommend. But yeah, would love any other thoughts or recommendations you have? Recommendations. Thank you so much.
Elise Hu (15:48):
This reminds me of the feeling that I had when I first went back to work after my first born, because I went back, I want to say I was with her nonstop for two months or three months, however long I was home, and then went back to work and had a lot of those thoughts where I was like, oh my gosh, we're in such a good routine and how is she going to be without me? And I also kind of had this feeling that our bond was very strong and maybe this threatened our bond that I was going to be away. And let me allay your concerns, listener, that your relationship with your baby will be long and that they will not forget you. They could not possibly forget you. And it's possible that she'll have an adjustment period while you're gone for a bit because she's so used to the routine and the sort of smell of you and the closeness with you and everything. But it's also great for her to form a tight bond and a relationship with the caretakers, the other caretakers in her village. This is such a time for your partner and your other loved ones to step up and to deepen their bonds with the baby. So you can see it from that perspective.
(17:04)
I very much wanted to be in one of my best friend from Texas's weddings right after Ava was born and we're talking a week after Ava was born.
Doree Shafrir (17:14):
Oh my God.
Elise Hu (17:15):
But I knew that the timing of it was not going to work out in case the baby came late or early or whatever. So probably really if she came late. So I had to decline being in her wedding. But when Ava was born the 22nd of September and the wedding was still set for the 29th, I was like, I'm going to make it to this wedding. I'm going to the wedding. And so the first time I left Ava, she was only a week old and I was like, no big deal. I'm just going to go for one night. No problem. I'm going to breastfeed her a lot for this one week so that I'll get my supply up in order to pump and everything. But I had no idea what I was in for and what was going on with my body. And I made this huge mistake of doing that because I was leaking on the plane nonstop because I had been breastfeeding nonstop for a week in order to, oh my God, in order to leave her, in order to have enough
(18:10)
Milk supply to leave her, I needed to pump her two essentially. And it was like this whole disaster. So I think seven months is a different story, so she'll be okay. I guess what we can offer is just encouragement a little bit to allay your anxieties and let you know that we've been there. I feel like those feelings are real, they're valid. And this is something that I thought to myself when I returned to work, which was that because my time was now going to be away from my baby, I really wanted to make that time count. So I wanted to kick ass at work because I was like, if I'm going to be away from Ava, then I better be a badass here and make the most of the time that I'm spending away from her. And so that's one sort of framework you could use, which is like if you are going to be away and you don't really want to be away or you feel like you're not ready to be away, then try and make that time away as fulfilling for you or as generative or as useful or helpful to you as possible.
Doree Shafrir (19:20):
I love that perspective. I agree with everything you said. I mean, I think the one thing that I will add is just from my own experience when I went to a podcast conference when Henry was like three and a half months old and he was with my parents and I freaked out about something with the, they were feeding him a mix of formula and breast milk and I don't know, I freaked out about something that they were doing with the formula and it was fine. And I think what I'm trying to say is it will all be fine. It might not be exactly the way you would've done it, but it will be fine.
Elise Hu (20:01):
Yeah.
Doree Shafrir (20:01):
That is all.
Elise Hu (20:03):
Yeah.
Doree Shafrir (20:04):
And you got this and enjoy your time.
Elise Hu (20:07):
You have it. Absolutely.
Doree Shafrir (20:08):
Alright, we are going to take another short break and when we get back we have a voicemail about bronzer.
Elise Hu (20:18):
We don't get these very often.
Doree Shafrir (20:19):
I know. And then a voicemail just about some health stuff. So we will be right back. Alright, we are back. And here is that bronzer voicemail.
Listener Voicemail (20:38):
Hi. I'm a first time OG listener calling from Boulder, Colorado. And to the listener whose husband used the Tom Ford Gel Bronzer and it's no longer available. The Jones Road gel Bronzer is excellent. I'm not sure the shade range might fit or not, but it's a really good product. And then to the listener who asked about alternative milk, the Trader Joe's coconut, almond vanilla milk is really good for home coffee. And I even use it in and it's really delicious and very affordable and it's a staple product. It's always available unless it's gone viral or something and filled out. Sometimes it seems to be sold up, but then they restock it immediately. Thank you. Bye.
Elise Hu (21:28):
Okay. Thank you for calling
Doree Shafrir (21:29):
In. Yeah, I loved this voicemail also because we talked about that bronzer months ago and I just love that this listener is just catching up. Yep. So thank you so much for your input. Love Jones Road. And we have one more voicemail.
Listener Voicemail (21:56):
Hello Doree and Elise and Kate, of course calling mid episode 365 regarding Elise's mom's thumbs up to her benign tumor biopsy. A few years ago, my mom, who has since passed, was diagnosed with Parkinson's. We all had an idea, something was wrong. However, she told all of us via email and the subject line just had Parkinson's. And then the body of the text it said, I got it starting. Insert drug name here today. Bye love mom. And that is how she told all of us that she had a very serious, eventually life ending disease. So it's not just you, Elise, it's all of us. Big thumbs up and do hope v's. Tumor is benign as well. Or maybe it's just a fatty deposit. Love pause. Thanks ladies.
Doree Shafrir (22:46):
Seems like it was just fatty deposits, but yes. Yes, it
Elise Hu (22:49):
Was just fatty deposits. Thank God
Doree Shafrir (22:52):
This just made me laugh. I know it's a very serious thing, but it was like, oh wow. Oh, okay.
Elise Hu (22:58):
Yeah, yeah. Rob's father also suffered from Parkinson's for many years and eventually it killed him. But when Rob tells a story about when he first got it and realized at one point they were eating lunch and his dad was like, wow, I'm real fucked up. Just like,
Doree Shafrir (23:19):
Hey,
Elise Hu (23:20):
Yeah, I mean it's just a devastating illness of course. But there's all these little steps along the way and stories that you remember because your parents kind of handle things the way that they do. They're like so classically, your parents and your loved ones. So anyway, thank you for sharing that. And yes, thumbs up, thumbs up.
Doree Shafrir (23:41):
Alright, Elise, this brings us to the end of our show. Thanks everyone for listening and we will talk to you all soon.
Elise Hu (23:49):
And thanks for calling in. Keep 'em coming.
Doree Shafrir (23:51):
Bye.