Mini-Ep 445: Hair Oil Recs and Fit Checks
Elise satisfies her stomach with Taiwanese food and Doree gives advice on puppydom before they hear from listeners about parenting and self-care, hair oil for curly hair, and the different forms meditation can take.
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise (00:16):
And I'm Elise Hu. And we are just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree (00:21):
And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember, we are podcast hosts. We are not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Elise (00:39):
And we have some good questions from y'all lately. We do some good call outs, some good recommendations.
Doree (00:45):
Really
Elise (00:45):
Liked your t-shirt recommendations from last week's episode.
Doree (00:49):
All these things are true. What's going on with you, Elise?
Elise (00:53):
Well, I just rushed back to this recording after having lunch at the new Taiwanese place in K-Town. So for those of you, yes, so for those of you who aren't familiar with the Los Angeles eating scene, which why would you be? Why I wouldn't expect you to be? A lot of the best Chinese and Taiwanese food is way out in the San Gabriel Valley, which is quite far from me. It's like an hour, hour plus, depending on traffic. But K-Town is only like 25 to 30 minutes from me. And now there's this new-ish Taiwanese cafe right in the heart of K-Town. And so I finally got around to trying that. It only has three or four menu items, so I just ordered all of them and I'm just so delighted. I'm so happy to have the taste of my mom's cooking somewhere very close by. They have sesame cold noodle with chili crisp on top, which is vegetarian. So Dory, you've got to get in there and give it a try.
Doree (01:50):
Yu,
Elise (01:51):
They have the wontons with the chili oil on it. They have these really good pineapple buns. What else was really good? I had something called Jay Chicken Rice, which is kind of like high non chicken rice for Chinese food lovers out there. It's really good. They have some pork belly dish that's like braised pork belly that people are really into that I did not try. I think that was one of the five. I had four out of five, so I didn't have absolutely everything on the menu. But yeah, so I'm very happy, my belly is happy. And then I got to catch up with my friend Morgan, who lives all the way in Burbank. So that's why we have to meet somewhere.
Doree (02:29):
Oh my gosh.
Elise (02:31):
In between ish.
Doree (02:32):
A foreign country essentially.
Elise (02:34):
I've never been, I don't think I've ever been. You've never been to Burbank? I don't think I've had to. Oh, no. Correction. Ava has had something out there that's near the Burbank airport, so I've been to a large warehouse out in Burbank and they have some studios out there. So I think I've had to do some live tapings of LinkedIn things for Microsoft or whatever that I've done out there. But that's it. Yeah. Am I missing anything? What am I missing out there?
Doree (03:02):
Well, people love the Warner Brothers studio tour.
Elise (03:05):
Oh yeah, okay. I've done that. I've done that with my friend Justin when he came to visit last year. That's the one with the Gilmore Girls sets and the friends sets.
Doree (03:16):
There's also a big Ikea.
Elise (03:17):
Oh, there's a big Ikea there. That's not my ikea. My Ikea is the Carson one.
Doree (03:21):
Oh. Oh yeah. That's far for me.
Elise (03:24):
Right. But it's like 25 minutes from me, so I'm like, great. I'll just go. Speaking of Ikea, Oscar has torn up every single one of my patio cushions outside. What is up with this dog on the outside with all respect outdoor furniture. Oh, he's a menace. He's a menace. He loves to shred. He cannot be left alone. My
Doree (03:47):
Gosh.
Elise (03:48):
So I have to replace all my patio cushions, and they're very hard to order and get on Creighton Barrel or Wayfair or anything right now because of the supply of product, outdoor furniture that comes from container ships from China. So everything's kind of on back order, especially in white or beige, which are the colors that I need. So I might go to Ikea to see if they have any that are approximately the right size so that I at least have cushions have something. Yes. Yeah.
Doree (04:21):
Yes, yes.
Elise (04:22):
And I'll have cushions for about a day to a week before Oscar gets them again. I mean, I've sprayed them with that bitter spray stuff that's supposed to keep dogs from going at things, but I dunno. I dunno. Wow. It's a lot. I know the poor nanny. I feel like I should give her a raise or something because now she has an extra kid every night.
Doree (04:46):
Wow.
Elise (04:47):
Yeah. I mean, she's always taking care of the three girls who are a handful and she's cooking for them and cleaning after them and doing their laundry and all this stuff. But then also there's Oscar to try and manage. Now
Doree (05:00):
You're right, she might need a raise.
Elise (05:03):
Oscar's 80 pounds like the Kool-Aid man, just bulldozing through things.
Doree (05:10):
Oh man. Is this just like puppy energy or is this He's also not well trained?
Elise (05:17):
Yeah, I just think he's not Well, some of it is just like he's an adolescence and he's testing all his boundaries. And then I and Rob have been inconsistent in training him and getting him kind of a house to learn the manners that we expect of the house.
Doree (05:34):
But still, I feel like you haven't done no training. That's true. He just seems like he's hell bent on destruction. He loves it. Would you put him in daycare?
Elise (05:50):
He is now a member. We did go ahead and get a card with points or whatever for a daycare, and it's the same place. It's the Waterland. So Waterland does daycare and they do boarding because he has a little suite when he goes. And then it really is kind of like a theme park during the day. Lots of different splash activities for dogs, but it is down by the airport. And so if I can avoid it, I like to keep them at home. I prefer to keep them at home. So I'll be going to Ikea, maybe I'll discover some fun stuff at ikea.
Doree (06:27):
Do you want suggestions or are you just sort of like whatever?
Elise (06:30):
No, I think if folks, I feel like the Forever 35 community has been really helpful in offering not only their concern, but also their tips. So any suggestions are welcome. And then from you too, did Bo deal with any of the shredding tendency?
Doree (06:49):
No, Bo was not a shredder. He had separation anxiety when we first got him, but also I never had him as a puppy, so I don't know what kind of puppy energy he had. He was very stressed out when we first got him about us leaving, and he pawed through a pane of glass. He was so anxious. But he doesn't eat things. He doesn't eat shoes, he eats food. He just Not sallows. Not squ. He is very food oriented, which actually made him somewhat easier to train because he's so food motivated that he's like cheese. But what I was going to say is there are those people who come take your dog and take them on group hikes and really exhaust them. He sounds bored and oh, he
Elise (07:55):
Only does it when he's bored. He only does it when he's stuck out on the back patio while we're all doing something in the
Doree (08:01):
Evening. So maybe just get him more tired.
Elise (08:05):
Yeah, I think that's absolutely the right thing because And when he's exhausted, he's very happy and contented.
Doree (08:11):
Exactly. So he might just need more hard labor.
Elise (08:17):
I'm making him retrieve. We have retrieving sessions where I'm just bouncing,
Doree (08:22):
Bouncing
Elise (08:22):
The tennis ball. Yeah, probably loves that ball against the house and making him go chase it. And he has to do that 15 to 20 minutes each morning just to get the zoomies out and then we'll walk to school or wherever. But it's a lot for me. And so if I have an early podcast taping or something, which I've had occasionally over the last few weeks, I have to start at eight or something like that. He doesn't get his zoomies out and who knows what he's up to down there.
Doree (08:47):
I feel like you will probably get some good suggestions from our listeners and hopefully you can figure this out and hopefully part of it is just him being a puppy and he will grow out of it.
Elise (09:00):
He's grown out of a lot of his other behaviors. He really liked to chew on the corners of the stairs and the corners of the patio table outside when he was a smaller puppy, like 12 to 16 weeks and he just grew out of it. So there are things that Totally, I think that ways where I can tell he's just maturing,
Doree (09:16):
So we'll see. Yes, yes, I agree. Elise, I think we are going to take a little break. We have some parenting stuff coming up after the break that I think even non-parents will be interested in. So stay tuned. And just a reminder, you can call or text us at (781) 591-0390 and email us at Forever 35 podcast@gmail.com. Visit our website forever 35 podcast.com. For links to everything we mention on the show, follow us on Instagram at Forever 35 podcast. Our newsletter is at forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter. And our favorite products are at shop my us slash forever three five. Maybe we'll start a shelf of people's favorite t-shirt
Elise (09:57):
Recommendations. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. T-shirt recommendations we can put up there. But also just a reminder, we recently did some sunscreen recommendations and I think we
Doree (10:06):
Did,
Elise (10:07):
Sammy has updated our shop with our sunscreen recommendations. So yeah, so go check that out. It's getting to be summer and go check that out.
Doree (10:16):
Yeah. Alright, we'll right,
Elise (10:18):
We'll be right back.
Doree (10:26):
Okay, we are back. We got this text that said, how does one do self-care amidst the sleep deprivation of caring for an infant. I'm five months in with my only child back at work and beyond tired. I'm trying to eat, shower, take vitamins and go for a walk every day, et cetera. But without the cornerstone of enough good quality sleep, no other self-care seems to matter. My partner is participating in our daughter's care, but he is an extreme morning person who works nights and weekends, whereas I'm more of a night owl with a nine to five job. So the nights have fallen to me. We don't have much family support. We'd love some guidance from two people who I assume have been there.
Elise (11:05):
You were there more recently than me. So you go first and then I have some thoughts.
Doree (11:11):
Yeah. So when Henry was born, we were lucky enough to be in a financial situation where we could afford some nighttime help, not when Henry was five months old. It was more like right after he was born. So that helped because we had no family in LA and so that was helpful just in the very beginning to at least have another body there. But by the time he was five months old, he was pretty much sleeping through the night. So I guess that would be my number one piece of advice is sleep training. And that was my number one question. Yeah. I was like, how well is the baby sleeping? It is so important for everyone's mental health, your own in particular, and get that baby sleeping through the night.
Elise (12:00):
Completely agree. My first question for you texter was how well is the baby sleeping? Because at five months in, they should have the capacity to sleep 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM in the morning if they're not colic and all these other caveats in there. Of course. And for me it was really important that even after Ava was born and we only had one baby, I philosophically said, or philosophically I believed that every member of the family was important. And so that meant the baby was important, but also so was dad and so was mom. And under that value system or under that philosophy, it was important that the baby learn for herself how to soothe and sleep through the night. And so Ava slept next to me I think for about 11 or 12 weeks, and then we moved her in a bassinet and then we moved her to a crib at about three months and then she started sleeping through the night.
(13:06):
And a lot of that is obviously all babies are different. I don't want to assign characteristics of one to the other, but it was very helpful to me. I got unsolicited advice when I was pregnant with Ava to read Dr. Weiss Bluth, who's one of the sleep doctors and was like, the book is overwritten and needs an editor, but chapter five, chapter one, and then the age appropriate chapters of healthy sleep habits, happy child. I have applied to all three of my girls. They've all been excellent sleepers to this day. They're very routinized with their sleeping. And it has, I credit my peace of mind as a mother to the fact that they've all been trained to sleep. And I know that there's various schools of thought on this and I feel like anytime we wade into these, I feel sort of reticent to wade into this because you get into a lot of debates about how to care for infants, but I'm just talking about what worked for me and then the philosophy that worked in our family. Because you're saying sleep, no other self-care seems to matter than good quality sleep. And I agree. I do think my sleep has always been really prioritized and important to me. If you can squeeze in naps, if you can't get a full night's sleep, then getting in some afternoon, naps can help refresh and recharge. This is not one of those problems where I can just say, yeah, throw a sheet mask on because that's not going to do the trick.
Doree (14:40):
Totally.
Elise (14:41):
So solving the sleep puzzle is a big one. The other that, now that I'm looking back on it because my youngest just turned eight, oh my gosh, now that I'm looking back on it, something that I'm really glad that I did, even though I was bleary eyed when I did it was just keep a journal. I kept a journal, I tried to keep that routine. Sometimes I was just too tired to write much more than a few lines, but I'm so glad that it's there to look back on and I would just put in a gratitude or just some observations from the day like, oh my god, Luna Farted like a truck driver, a long haul truck driver today, and where did that even come from? She's 12 pounds or whatever. But I'm so glad I have those and it was a little time to myself or a time for reflection that mentally I think was helpful because it can feel so overwhelming to be postpartum.
Doree (15:39):
I love that suggestion. My other suggestion is, and I know your partner is an extreme morning person who works nights and weekends, but I feel like there needs to be a little bit more seemingly equity here. It seems like your partner is getting to sleep and you're not.
Elise (16:05):
Yeah. What would the fair play cards say about this?
Doree (16:07):
Yeah, what would
Elise (16:07):
The Eve Rodsky fair play cards?
Doree (16:10):
So I'm just sort of wondering if there is a way that there can be a little bit more flexibility coming from your partner. Maybe there isn't, but I'm just raising the question because that did sort of ping for me because even though you're more of a night owl and you have a nine to five job, the nights are when the baby is not sleeping and so you're not getting any sleep. Also, I don't totally follow because if they are an extreme morning person, but they work nights, when are they sleeping Okay. To be continued, to be continued anyway, but we are here for you and I'm sure our listeners have other suggestions and thoughts. Alright, we got a voicemail that I would like to play.
Listener Voicemail (17:09):
Hi, Lisa Dory. This is some advice for the caller who is transitioning from a job. She's going to be staying home two days a week with her toddler and trying to work three days a week. And I think she was laid off and my advice on that is to find something to anchor those days that's outside of the house. So I got an immense amount of joy out of taking my daughter to story time. I also took my son when he was younger and just kind of planning our day around that because with a young child it can kind of just feel like loose chaos and are you ever leaving the house and are you ever seeing adults? And the hours can get really long and that can be really depressing, especially if you were used to working and you were used to being around a lot of different stimulation and a lot of adult time.
(18:04):
I find that the anchor of having an activity, whether it's a music class or a library or just you're always going to meet up with a friend or go to a playground like something outside the house at some point during your day is really important. And if you do start to feel blue in the transition to that kind of stay at home parenting, it's not you. It can be really hard. And so just be gentle with yourself because that's a really big transition to go from the working world to staying at home. Alright, take care.
Elise (18:40):
Great. Love that advice.
Doree (18:41):
I love this voicemail too because I feel like this is just such good advice for our previous
Elise (18:48):
Text, it actually applied to last week's question and this week's question.
Doree (18:52):
Yes, yes, exactly. So thank you for calling in. Okay. After the break, we have a voicemail from someone who really liked our episode with Ariana Reini and they do discuss their past with some suicidal ideation. So I just want to give that a little content warning before we take a break. So we will be right back. All right, we're back.
Listener Voicemail (19:26):
Hi, how are you Elise? I just wanted to once again call on my way to work because that's apparently the only time I call you guys and share just what I do for meditation or a meditation practice. So I also do not meditate as much or as frequently as I should, like the rest of us. But I also have struggled with a lot of mental health concerns, a suicide attempt and suicidal ideation for a while in my life. And I've had to work really, really, really hard and diligently in therapy to keep them at bay and really change how my brain works from what it used to be. So my therapist and I were talking and between life and my stressful job, there's a lot of terrible thoughts that come to mind and a lot of terrible things that kind of come up that there is a healthy point that you got to sit with it and then there is a point that you need to let it go.
(20:35):
So one of the things that we've talked about is kind of sitting with whatever terrible thing has happened. I work in healthcare, so I see a lot of really stressful and sad things on a daily basis. So feeling the feeling for a period of time and then after that, instead of letting it kind of perseverate or continue to come up, kind of imagining it like a leaf on a river or sometimes I'll imagine the thought as a little object on a river and kind of just observing it pass like I'm standing on the riverbank or above the river and just watching it just kind of pass along. And that kind of short ten second process of just taking a couple of deep breaths and picturing that in my head is really helpful for me. And it is a form of meditation without doing the whole sitting down, closing your eyes, listening to a prompt for 5, 10, 15 minutes, which sometimes I have time to do, but sometimes you don't have time to do So during the day. Trying to kind of do little things like that to help has been a game changer for me versus really trying to carve out time, which sometimes I do not have to sit down and do a meditation. I hope this makes sense that I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but you guys are wonderful. I'm so happy you brought up this very difficult topic in conversation because it's not talked about enough.
Doree (22:10):
Thank you so much for calling in listener and letting us know about your experience and also that episode resonated with you. Alright, on a completely different note, we have a request for a hair oil wreck. And I realize this can seem jarring going from the previous voicemail to this voicemail,
Elise (22:31):
These mini episodes. This is what's so fun about mini apps because we rely on your content, which means we can sometimes take these wild swings.
Doree (22:40):
We take these wild swings. Well look, Elise, we all contain multitudes.
Elise (22:44):
That's right. We contain multitudes.
Listener Voicemail (22:48):
Hi guys, longtime listener all the time. Collar. I have a question. I need a good hair oil or cream or something. So I am for context, a white woman with textured hair. So sometimes most of the time it falls between curly and wavy. It's different textures throughout which is annoying. And I'm starting to wonder if the hair creams and leaving conditioners that I'm using, if maybe the water content is too high and that's causing it to frizz out rather than hold the curl. So I've been hesitant to use oils because those can weigh my hair down somewhat easily sometimes maybe I just haven't found the right one. But the creams seem to work momentarily but then cause increased frizz, if that makes sense. So I'm wondering if you could put it out to the community if anyone else struggles with this and if they have a pal Mary product, I'm willing to try anything. And that's it. Thank you. Bye.
Elise (23:57):
Okay. I don't have the same type of hair, but I do have a hair oil that I love and I find very lightweight and I love the scent of it. And it's the orbe gold lust hair oil. And you can get it in a mini if you just want to try it out. I love this hair oil. They also make a hair and body oil so you can just smell great all over. I have both products. I love them. I even spoke at Ori Bay recently, or I guess last year.
Doree (24:26):
Wow.
Elise (24:26):
I'm so loyal to these products in particular and their fiber groom for a pomade type thing, I really like their fiber groom also. And then the other that I have tried and also like, which it's not really an oil, I think it's called a smoothing oil, it's from r and Co, which also another great brands which also Arco products also smell great. And r and co has something called a two-way mirror smoothing oil, which if you can get that in a mini, you could kind of compare, put one on one side of your hair, put one on the other and see how that goes. I have flyaways so I don't have thick, how does she describe her hair? Kind of coarse, right? And curly. So I have straight and fine hair that waves, but there's a lot of flyaways that tends to be a problem. And I have a lot of baby hairs and so I've always relied on a little bit of some sort of smoothing oil or hair oil. And I also, because my hair is so fine, if the hair oil is too greasy then it'll make my hair appear greasy. So I have to use very kind of lightweight hair oils. And so these might work, but I'm caveating that we have different hair types,
Doree (25:40):
So we also have different hair types, listener. But I really like the way hair oil
Elise (25:46):
Way. Yes, yes. Ai.
Doree (25:50):
Yes. It also has a scent and I'm sort of ambivalent about scents, but I don't mind the scent. And it's a lightweight hair oil that will really smooth your hair. I really like it. In fact, I need to get some more of it. I'm out. So thank you for reminding me.
Elise (26:13):
Listeners, definitely call in with your voicemails or text with any of your suggestions as well.
Doree (26:17):
Alright, we got one last text and this listener wrote Dorian Elise, I don't believe you two have answered the question. You ask guests, what is your uniform? Now this listener is referring to our Patreon exclusive Forever 35 questionnaire, which is a lightning round of questions that we ask all of our guests. That is so fun. And one of the questions is, what is your go-to uniform? So I love that this listener is turning it back on us.
Elise (26:50):
And also you can get these Q and As every Tuesday on our Patreon feed. So just another open invite to join us in our Patreon community. We have cool stuff there. Cool extras, cool stuff
Doree (27:04):
There.
Elise (27:04):
Dory, what would you say your uniform is? Oh
Doree (27:07):
God. I mean when I'm just bumming around the house, I wear lounge pants and either a, I have oversized stripe button up and I wear that a lot.
Elise (27:22):
Oh yeah, I've seen you in that.
Doree (27:24):
Yeah, so that's what I wear a lot. I also have this pair of jeans that I really like that I randomly got on Amazon. They are a kind of like a barrel shape, but they have a little stretch and I find that a lot of barrel jeans do not have stretch and I wear those pretty much all the time. So we would look to those in the show notes.
Elise (27:47):
So mine are soft pants. I like to call them soft pants, but the soft pants I wear most often are my high rise drawstring Lululemon pants. And then when I leave the house, I typically don't change out of them because we live in Los Angeles and everybody's in athleisure all the time anyway. But the outfit, the type of outfit you will probably most commonly find me out wearing is an adult onesie. I wear a lot of one piece rompers or jumpsuits, so you see me in a lot of jumpsuits. My favorite jumpsuit is by pistol, the jeans brand and they make really great ones. So yeah, if I have to leave the house and have to change out of my soft pants uniform.
Doree (28:42):
Love that. This listener was also, they had some questions about how has your uniform evolved over time? I feel like by uniform at this point it's just so comfort oriented and when I do have to leave the house for an event, I find myself sort of staring at my clothes. Do I have clothes that are suitable for leaving the house? And I guess that's not a uniform Exactly, because that's stuff I don't wear all the time. Yeah. Interesting. Alright listeners, thank you so much. Thanks for listening. Thanks for writing in, thanks for calling in, thanks for texting us, we appreciate you and we will talk to you soon.
Elise (29:27):
Okay, talk to you next time.
Doree (29:28):
Bye.