Episode 354: Kate Spencer Comes Back! (For One Episode)
Doree and Elise talk to beloved former Forever35 co-host Kate Spencer! They get into it all — from strength training and her new sexy book All’s Fair in Love and Pickle Ball, to figuring out how to retire from podcasting and productivity. Plus, a delightful Costco segment for nostalgia’s sake.
Mentioned in this Episode
Pre-order Kates Book!
Tretinoin
C-Pap Machine
Notes app
A2 Milk
Acai bowl
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Transcript
The transcript for this episode Ai generated.
Doree (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir
Elise (00:16):
And I'm Elise Hu. And we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums, and this is a really special episode. Dore.
Doree (00:24):
I was going to say the same thing, A really special episode
Elise (00:29):
You probably can already see from the episode title, who is the guest on today's show. But gosh, this is episode 354, which means for about 300 of these main episodes, Kate was the one in my seat co-hosting with you.
Doree (00:50):
Yes. And still I was trying to remember Elise, and maybe you remember more clearly, but before I asked you if you would be willing to try being co-host, we had gotten lunch, right. I think as you generally do, you are very good about making new friends and reaching out to people. And so we had had lunch and I was like, oh, this woman's so cool, we should be friends. And then when Kate said she was leaving, it was a little random, but I just had this vibe that it would work because we were friendly, but we weren't friends.
Elise (01:28):
Yeah, but I'm outer circle
Doree (01:30):
Friend.
Elise (01:30):
Yeah, we exactly knew each other from other friends.
Doree (01:33):
Right? Exactly. Exactly. And I just liked how both of us were, I think we were both very open and transparent from the beginning of like, Hey, if this isn't working, we're just going to call it and that's fine. But I think both of us were like, oh, hey, this is good. This is a good thing, a good thing. And also you were not like Kate part two. And I think that was important to me to both sort of honor the legacy of Kate and acknowledge that we had our own thing. And then now we have this other thing, and Kate and I are still friends. We still see each other. We sell text almost every day. We are still good friends. There is no podcast drama. I definitely think there was a subset of listeners who sort of wanted there to be podcast drama because I think there have been a lot of podcast co-hosts who have either stopped doing the show or one has left. I mean call her daddy. Call her Daddy. Famously, yes. Famously huge breakup. And we were just sort of like, no, that that's actually not what happened. And now Kate has a new book out and it was funny because her new book is coming out pretty much a year to after she stopped doing the podcast. So it seemed like this perfect opportunity to get to talk to her.
Kate Spencer (03:05):
And
Doree (03:06):
I remember right before you started, we had you on the show to introduce you to the listeners,
Kate Spencer (03:12):
And
Doree (03:13):
Now it's sort of like this nice full circle moment where we're like having Kate back on the show.
Elise (03:17):
Yeah, yeah. It felt so great just to talk with Kate and hear what's been going on with her life. I know a lot of listeners have been like, what's up with Kate? What is she doing? And she's been keeping up a newsletter, which I subscribe to, and then she's active on TikTok. So we do see some bits of Kate, but this is a concentrated near hour long conversation with Kate. And so we're really delighted and excited for you to hear it. And we just had a good time. I wish that Kate hadn't retired for a lot of reasons, but mainly because I would've liked to drop in.
Doree (03:53):
Totally, totally, totally.
Elise (03:55):
So y'all are going to love this and we're so glad that she was willing to do it. And we even joked at the end that we'd like her to have her residency here at Forever 35, like a May residency where annually she can come back around the anniversary of her retirement, whether she has a book to talk about or not. But we do get into her book All's Fair and Love and Pickleball, which I just tore through on a flight back from
Doree (04:20):
New York. And of course for me, the tennis player, and you're a tennis player too. All the tennis pickleball stuff I think is so funny and well done, and it's such a great enemies to lovers and fake dating story, and we get into that in our chat with her. So I think Kate really doesn't need an introduction, so I'm not going to read her bio, but I am just going to remind everyone, our website is forever 35 podcast.com. There's links there to everything we mentioned on the show. We are on Instagram at Forever 35 podcast. Our Patreon is at patreon.com/forever three five. We do our casual chats weekly, we do our pop culture episodes monthly. There's just a lot of fun extra stuff going with Forever 35 questionnaires that we just added. A couple fun new questions to, so it's good stuff. Our favorite products are at Shop my us slash forever three five. Our newsletter is at forever three five podcast com slash newsletter. And you can call or text us at (781) 591-0390 and email us at Forever 35 podcast@gmail.com.
Elise (05:31):
We love your calls and emails, so keep those coming in. There's a few callouts right now from our latest mini episode for products and recommendations from you all. So check those out and then call or text us.
Doree (05:44):
Please do. Alright. And here is Kate. Oh my god. Kate Spencer, welcome back to Forever 35.
Kate Spencer (05:54):
Welcome back. What a pleasure. Oh, it feels so good. We're all in our big headphones.
Elise (05:59):
It's been about a year since you were last on forever 35
Kate Spencer (06:03):
Almost. Exactly.
Elise (06:05):
Yeah, I think
Kate Spencer (06:06):
Possibly exactly
Elise (06:07):
The one year anniversary of your retirement.
Kate Spencer (06:10):
I mean, may I celebrate retirements with a yearly podcast interview every year? Yes. I don't know. Yes, you may. We can put
Doree (06:18):
This on
Kate Spencer (06:19):
The calendar. Every minute
Elise (06:21):
Recurring
Kate Spencer (06:22):
Return. It's right around your birthday too, Dorie, so I feel like I have It is, so this is truly my gift to you.
Elise (06:28):
Yes. A gift of time and attention and talent is actually the best kind of gift. Come
Kate Spencer (06:33):
On.
Elise (06:34):
That's very
Kate Spencer (06:35):
Nice.
Elise (06:36):
Thank you for
Doree (06:36):
Coming back. Well, hey, as you know, we start off by asking all of our guests about a self-care practice that they have.
Kate Spencer (06:42):
I truly forgot that. Okay. I have plenty to talk about because I have been mentally preparing for this conversation and thinking about what self-care looks like for me right now. Should I share one?
Elise (06:55):
Yes, please. Yes, please.
Kate Spencer (06:57):
Okay. I have been strength training two to three times a week for the last, I would say almost two years.
(07:08):
And I really love it now, seeing as I have a book about pickleball coming out, I probably should have said pickleball, which also is self-care. But I have really taken to strength training and I find it extremely satisfying learning how to do it properly without injury and keeping track of my weights for the larger movements, the amount that I do, and noticing when it goes up or if it stays the same. And why that is. It's been really just the feeling of getting physically stronger has been really cool. It really does help me mentally to kind of exert that physical energy, but the slow movement of weightlifting, it's hard and sometimes it frustrates me, but I really enjoy it. I would be sad if I wasn't doing it.
Elise (08:03):
How are you doing? Are you maintaining your practice? Do you have a trainer or are you taking some sort of power lifting class?
Kate Spencer (08:12):
I have a friend of mine is a trainer and she teaches small group classes out of her garage, so I go there. So it's with a small group of people, which is also very fun because I am an extrovert who works alone. And so I get very antsy not being around people. And I actually have really missed, part of not doing the podcast is I'm not talking to anybody on a regular basis anymore. And that's been very lonely and I've had to figure out how to socialize. So I do. So I work out with a trainer and she's wonderful, and it's just been very thoughtful.
Doree (08:52):
Do you feel like your strength training is sort of helping you physically in other areas?
Kate Spencer (08:59):
Okay, Dorie. Yes, I do. Well, I was like, I've got to, in order to play pickleball more than once a week, I want to be physically strong to do it right. That's something that's important to me. I also just want to be able to move through the world in a way where my body doesn't hurt. That's kind of in my mid forties where I'm at. I want to be able to just be able to get up out of bed and not have my back hurt. And I've started running again. And I do feel like endurance wise and also just things like my ankle's being stronger, it has helped with that sort of thing as well. And I can lift up. I wanted to be able to lift up my very carry-on bag and put it into the overhead compartment without straining or feeling like I needed to ask someone to help me.
Doree (09:55):
Right? Yes. Yes.
Kate Spencer (09:57):
And is it's
Doree (09:58):
Those kinds of things that you don't even really think about as being benefits of doing something like strength training, but then you're like, oh, I can lift my back.
Kate Spencer (10:08):
That is. And also the groceries, or when I go to Costco, for example, and you put a ton of heavy canned goods in one of those big Costco boxes, which seems practical when you're checking out. But then you get to your car and you're like, how do I get this out? And that is another time when it has come into play. It's all about my suitcase and Costcos.
Doree (10:30):
Okay. We're going to return to Costco later.
Kate Spencer (10:32):
We are.
Doree (10:33):
Okay. We are
Kate Spencer (10:34):
My sister and Costco Elise over there.
Elise (10:35):
Yes. Yes. We'll keep listeners listening till the end of the episode. Keep
Kate Spencer (10:40):
Them on the edge of their seats for Costco content. Yes,
Elise (10:43):
Keep them on the hook.
Kate Spencer (10:44):
Okay, let's take a break and we will be right back.
Doree (10:54):
Kate, this is a very broad question that just answer it however you wish, but just sort of generally, what has post pod life been like for you?
Kate Spencer (11:06):
So I've received this question a lot because I posed, like I said, ask me questions and I'll record a little podcast on my newsletter. And I haven't answered this one yet. I knew I was coming on here first. I've just made kind of random audio recordings over in my newsletter, and this was a question that people had asked me a lot. So here is what I've been up to for the last year. I've been working on this book. And when the podcast ended, I was heavy. I was in book promotion. So I have had a lot of writing work happening over the last year. So professionally I would say that is what I've been up to. I have also, I think, been decompressing a bit in terms of, one thing that I felt kind of in the first month or so after stopping podcasting was that I had to rewire my brain to not think about everything through the lens of something I could share. And that was very surprising to me that right after my podcast end day end date, I went to France with one of my best friends, and I was in France and I had the best time, but it was very hard for me not to be like, oh, I'm here looking at the drugstore products. I could talk about this on the podcast. Or Here I am, I got to talk about how these shoes, just, my brain was wired to think about
(12:36):
Everything in terms
Doree (12:37):
Of That's so interesting, shareability.
Kate Spencer (12:40):
And that was kind of interesting. And I also, I enjoy sharing, so I was like, oh, this is what's my outlook going to be. But I was also, I had reached a point where I was kind of ready to be a more quiet person, but I had to relearn how to do that a little bit. I've also been doing a lot of therapy work. I've been volunteering a lot more than I have been and parenting and just, I guess just trying to take care of myself and this new iteration of my life.
Elise (13:15):
Have you enjoyed it?
Kate Spencer (13:17):
Yes. I definitely went through a grieving process of I miss the podcast and I miss this, and I, you grieve anything when something ends that's had a positive impact on your life, there's a grieving process. So I had to kind of mourn for a little bit last summer. I was really kind of sad. Wait, you asked me, Elise, do I enjoy it? Do I miss what you asked? Have you
Elise (13:41):
Enjoyed retirement? Yeah.
Kate Spencer (13:43):
Oh, retirement. Yes.
Elise (13:46):
It's my dream. So I'm just
Kate Spencer (13:48):
Like, you know what? I realized how I was really stretched really thin and I was so burnt out. And last year I had a book come out and the main character has burnout. And as the book was coming out, I was like, oh, you idiot. You wrote this whole book and these are all the things you were experiencing and you thought you were writing it. I thought I had been writing that book or that character's journey from a place of past experience, and I don't think I had realized how fried I was and I was having a lot of health issues. And that's been another thing I've really focused on this year is getting my health balanced again.
(14:30):
And that has been positive. So I just don't think I had realized how I had burned myself, whatever the candle was burned from both with at both ends, I was that. So in all those aspects, it's been a positive choice, but I still, people will DM me on Instagram and be like, I'm free mugging in my car. And I'm like, I miss that kind of aspect of having a community. I think what is so great about the listeners of this podcast and also the hosts is that sense of community is so unique. You don't really get that anywhere else. And as I mentioned, I'm an extrovert, so I've had to learn how to, I'm learning how to find community. And also I started playing Mahjong, and Dory taught me,
Elise (15:15):
Did Dory teach you
Kate Spencer (15:17):
This time? I followed through. Doria has taught me twice, and I've really enjoyed learning how to play Mahjong.
Doree (15:25):
It's really fun. It's really fun. Also, Kate, I've now taught quite a few people how to play, and everyone when I start is like, this is too hard. I'm never going to get this. What the hell? And then the light bulb goes off and then they're like, oh. And it clicks for them and they get it, and it usually happens halfway through the first lesson. And it happened to Kate. I watched it happen. She's like,
Kate Spencer (15:52):
Oh, yeah, okay. You're a very good teacher. I have to say thank you. And I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. I feel like I've already told you this, but you're very clear and your instructions are very clear. Your answers when people have questions are very, you don't make it hard to learn. And you're also extremely patient because it's a lot to have a room of people being like, I don't get it. I just got it. What's this flower? So I've really enjoyed learning it.
Doree (16:23):
I'm so glad and I'm so glad that you have been playing and it's just such a fun game. And yeah, I'm really happy that you have taken that on.
Kate Spencer (16:34):
Thank you. I owe it all to you
Doree (16:35):
And you and I, we need to play sometime.
Kate Spencer (16:38):
I mean, that sounds very intimidating, but I would try. I'm still a very, very basic beginner. I haven't been played in a game in a month or two, but just the way it makes your brain work, it's like your brain running a marathon by the end. I'm so tired. It's hard to play. Well.
Kate Spencer (16:56):
Yes,
Doree (16:56):
And I also love that it's an activity that you do need to really focus on. Sometimes you see people looking at their phones during the game, then they miss something you're going to miss, they miss a tile, and you're like, no, you need to put that phone away and just focus on the game. And I just love activities like that. But Mahjong, I feel like Mahjong is having a moment and pickleball is having a moment, but tennis is also, having tennis is having the biggest moment of all tennis is having a moment. But as you know, tennis people and pickleball people were often at odds.
Kate Spencer (17:34):
And now maybe this is a good time for me to call you out. You posted a salty pickleball comment on your Instagram stories and you didn't tag me and I said, excuse me. And you were like, I knew you would see this. Do you remember this? It was a few
Doree (17:46):
Weeks ago, yes, but I don't remember what it was. I don't either. I like to sometimes be deliberately trolley about pickleball because I don't actually care. But I think it's funny, the sort of rivalry, and I love that you wrote a book just using this whole conflict as the basis of a great enemies to lover's story. So let's talk about your new book, all's Fair in Love and pickleball also love the title. I feel like you had talked to me and a few of our other writer friends about the title a while ago and you hadn't quite landed on anything. And then next thing, I know you have this great title, so thank you. I'm glad you found a great title. So Kate, for the benefit of our listeners, because I believe this is coming out before your book actually comes out so people can still pre-order for the benefit of our listeners who probably have not read the book. Do you want to just kind of briefly give us an overview of the plot and how sexy would you rate it?
Kate Spencer (18:49):
Okay. Alls fair and love and pickleball is a classic enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers, fake enemies dating romance.
Elise (19:01):
Oh, the fake dating part, yes.
Kate Spencer (19:03):
Fake dating a trope that I have mixed feelings about, but had so much fun writing that I now am a hundred percent into fake dating. But it follows a woman named Becks who has taken over her family's kind of crumbling pickleball racket club in a fictional Palm Springs esque desert retiree town. And her world is kind of thrown upside down when one of her clients', handsome former tennis nephews comes to town and ends up sticking around as he practices to kind of get back into the pro circuit and they end up falling into a fake dating situation because he is trying to make himself look better for a profile being written about him. And he kind of convinces her to play in a pickleball tournament with him to improve his standing and promises her the money if they win. And she needs that money to fix her racket club. So it seems like a no-brainer that they need to collaborate and come together, wink wink, literally.
Elise (20:06):
And he had to come around to the idea of even playing pickleball because
Kate Spencer (20:11):
He was such a tennis. I have always
Elise (20:12):
Enjoyed tennis
Kate Spencer (20:14):
Like Dory's saying, I love the pickleball versus tennis player debate. It also seems silly to me. It's like when people debate about which is better, New York or Los Angeles, it's like they're both great. It's not comparable. We can all move on, but I enjoy the trolling of it all. So it felt fun to make the love interest be a tennis player who kind of thinks pickleball is beneath him and play with some of those kind of genrey tropes of tennis versus pickleball. It is not a book specifically about pickleball, so though it is in the title, if you have no idea what pickleball is or if you find it annoying, you can still enjoy this book. It is fun, sexy, spicy, and there's a real cast of old people that of arians, I can never say that word. Sep Sarian. Sep. I still can't say it sep. Least that really just S rolled off the tongue SEPs.
Elise (21:12):
Oh no, you're adding a syllable sep. It's easier.
Kate Spencer (21:17):
Okay, Sept. Well, there's a crew Arians.
Elise (21:23):
Well, we have a social media clip now.
Kate Spencer (21:26):
Oh, great. Tarian is what I feel like I've been saying in nine. That's right. That's perfect. You nailed it. Nailed it. You nailed it. A group of retirees who's like their friend crew, and it was just a really fun book to write. It's my spiciest book. Dorie, to answer your question, it has kind of the most open door sex scenes that I've written there is spoiler alert, like maybe some pickleball court action.
Elise (21:52):
Literally. Yes.
Kate Spencer (21:53):
Yeah. I just kind of went for it. When I talked to my agent about writing this book, I had pitched it as a pickleball fuck book, and so I just tried to go for it
Elise (22:04):
And it's beautifully written. That's
Kate Spencer (22:06):
Nice of you. You're so kind.
Elise (22:07):
I tore through it. I tore through it on the plane.
Kate Spencer (22:11):
I love hear. I love to hear it
Elise (22:11):
From the aforementioned New York to la.
Kate Spencer (22:14):
Okay,
Elise (22:14):
Perfect. Pickle, perfect Tennis from New York, la. So much, so many dichotomies that don't need to be dichotomies.
Kate Spencer (22:21):
No, we can all coexist. But I do think it is fun to me that there is this kind of rivalry of pickleball is a silly sport. It's not that hard to play and it's really loud and annoying. And tennis is kind of like this snobby older sibling that pickleball players kind of look down upon. It's a fun thing to play with, which is why I made him a tennis player.
Elise (22:46):
I have learned only in the last few years that my ears are very sensitive to certain voices and sounds and things. So I don't even like to play tennis without a dampener on my racket because it's too sing songy when the ball hits the racket. So I can't even do it. I'll have to stop because the way that I hear it in my head bothers me too much, which is precisely why pickleball would take an adjustment. Because
Kate Spencer (23:11):
Yes, I actually find the sound of pickleball and very enjoyable. It doesn't bother me, but I have a similar thing where I'm becoming more sensitive to sounds. My husband listens to podcasts at two times, speed on a speaker while he showers.
Elise (23:28):
Is he mentally accelerated? Does his brain just move that fast, do you think?
Kate Spencer (23:32):
Yeah, it's actually probably yes.
Elise (23:33):
That might be why. Okay. So it's matching the speed at which he can process.
Kate Spencer (23:37):
It makes me physically ill. I have to put on noise canceling headphones. If he's ever doing it, I cannot handle it.
Elise (23:44):
Me neither. Yeah. But I'm even really particular about if I'm going to speed it up, I can maybe speed it up to 1.35 x depending on the narrator.
Kate Spencer (23:53):
But
Elise (23:53):
Then if it gets to 1.4, it sounds too robotic.
Kate Spencer (23:56):
I like a 1.25.
Doree (23:58):
I like a 1.25 also, Kate.
Kate Spencer (24:00):
Yeah, it's just, it
Doree (24:02):
Just
Kate Spencer (24:02):
Kicks it up a notch. Yeah,
Doree (24:03):
Picks up a notch. You barely even notice.
Elise (24:06):
But
Doree (24:07):
Yeah, you're getting
Elise (24:07):
Through the material faster.
Doree (24:09):
And if you're listening to this podcast on 1.25, I see you respect, and if you're listening
Kate Spencer (24:14):
To it on two, you're
Elise (24:16):
Mentally accelerated. Kate's
Kate Spencer (24:18):
Husband. Can I ask you both a question though, just on this topic? Because one thing that I do think I've noticed about myself is that I now, because I've put TikTok back on my phone because I'm in book promo mode and I now want to watch every video on two times speed.
Elise (24:35):
Whoa.
Doree (24:35):
Okay.
Elise (24:36):
I've never done that.
Doree (24:36):
I watch a lot of stuff on two x, mostly stuff where someone is telling a long ass story and it's taking them forever. And I know they want to keep us on the video, but I'm like, just get to the point. That is when I will generally watch on two x, I'm just like, okay, I am kind of interested in what you're talking about, but not interested enough to sit through three and a half minutes of you just sort of droning on and on. But if it's like a cute dog jumping into a pool, then I will watch it on regular speed. Very
Kate Spencer (25:11):
Good. Very good point. But I do find myself hitting
Doree (25:14):
It. Yeah, totally. I mean, I watch the hippo at the Cincinnati Zoo celebrating their 22nd birthday today. I watched that on regular speed.
Elise (25:23):
That's an old hippo.
Doree (25:25):
Yeah.
Elise (25:27):
What is the lifespan of a hippo?
Doree (25:29):
I don't know. I don't know either. Old,
Kate Spencer (25:35):
Maybe it's like 80.
Elise (25:36):
Right. But can't elephants live a really long time?
Doree (25:41):
Yes.
Elise (25:42):
Would not be an old elephant. Okay.
Doree (25:45):
I will say, okay. And then we don't need to derail this conversation to turn into a conversation about TikTok, but I don't watch cute kids say the darnedest things kind of videos anymore because I'm just so squeaked out now by any very young child on TikTok. I'm just like, no, I don't even want to engage in this.
Kate Spencer (26:09):
Yeah, you don't even, well, because if you engage watch, you're almost like you're tacitly.
Doree (26:15):
Right, exactly.
Kate Spencer (26:16):
Supporting it almost, right?
Doree (26:18):
Yes, yes.
Kate Spencer (26:19):
That's
Doree (26:20):
My average. It's the catch 20 right now is real weird. It's a lot of animal stuff because I do engage with a lot of animal stuff, but I also get a lot of black fraternity and sorority content and all this just sort of random sub genres of TikTok that I'm like, okay. Alright, moving on.
Kate Spencer (26:49):
Okay,
Doree (26:50):
Kate, what are you into right now when it comes to skin?
Kate Spencer (26:53):
Okay. Oh my gosh. This is something I do miss talking about. I will say I feel like I have kind of gotten my routine down. Okay.
Elise (27:05):
You've optimized it.
Kate Spencer (27:06):
I think I have stuck with recently the Tretinoin. This is another word I can't say Tretinoin.
Elise (27:13):
You got it
Kate Spencer (27:14):
Sunday. That's correct. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday on Wednesday night I do an exfoliating pad at night from Lucerne, which a facialist recommended. And then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I hydrate, hydrate, hydrate at night. So that's my pattern that I've been following. I have also been trying to double cleanse.
Elise (27:39):
Are you wearing a lot of makeup lately?
Kate Spencer (27:41):
Well, because I have been doing, I've done some people's book events or I got on this Zoom, I have been doing a basic face, but pretty light. But I will say products, do you know what I picked up at the aforementioned Costco recently?
Elise (28:02):
Ooh.
Kate Spencer (28:03):
Tell on a brand I've never tried before. And that brand is Olay
Elise (28:09):
As in Oil of
Kate Spencer (28:10):
As in, yes. Olay comma oil of oil. I bought their, I think it's their Regenerist. Costco had like a two pack. Yes. That's a top
Elise (28:20):
Seller.
Kate Spencer (28:22):
And I was like, you know what? I'm sick of spending a buttload of money on moisturizer. Why don't I just try Olay? This is a classic that's been around forever and I got to say I don't hate it. I'm not sure I love
Kate Spencer (28:37):
It,
Kate Spencer (28:38):
But I'm not hating it and I have to get through two jars. So
Elise (28:42):
That's their hero product for a reason.
Kate Spencer (28:44):
Is it really
Elise (28:45):
With beauty companies, they all have these hero products that make up 80% of the sales and everything else they roll up out adds up to 20% of the sales. The Regenerist stuff is the Olay one,
Kate Spencer (28:58):
Olay Regenerist Cream, two containers, and I'm trying that out. And that has been my night cream. And
Elise (29:07):
Are they Costco sized?
Kate Spencer (29:09):
So are they? No, they're, they're regular sized. I think they're 1.7 ounces, so they aren't like tubs, which is probably for the best. And then I also started using laroche pos of vitamin C serum. I'm trying to see, I'm trying Go drugstore brand just because it seems more, it's more cost effective and I do think the quality is often on par. So that has been the route I'm taking. But I will say I still am kind of on the hunt for a perfect nighttime moisturizer. And then wait, I have another product that I'm obsessed with, Patrick ta. These are lip balms. Okay. Patrick TA makes these plumping lip glosses that I am full on, obsessed with, obsessed recommend. Okay. They're the Patrick TA major volume plumping, lip balm or lip gloss.
Elise (30:05):
We're going to put these in the show notes.
Kate Spencer (30:07):
Put them in the notes. I got to tell you this. And this I will say was a TikTok video that I saw and I was like, oh, Patrick ta, I have their eyebrow wax. I didn't even know they made lip stuff. I'll check that out. And then I bought two of them and I'm never going back like Holy grail lip product and I will accentuate it with a Charlotte Tilbury lip pencil in color pillow talk number one, and this Patrick Cho stuff. It stays on it plumps. It feels good. Recommend
Elise (30:41):
Follow up question. Have you stolen anything from your daughter's stash, either of your daughter's Stash
Kate Spencer (30:47):
St. Is. Okay. This has been
Elise (30:48):
That you have now adopted because that's my gateway into so many products these days.
Kate Spencer (30:53):
It is wild.
Elise (30:55):
They
Kate Spencer (30:55):
Have some good stuff. Yes, it is truly wild. I will say my kid right now is wearing the Glossier perfume, my 14-year-old, and it smells so good on her and I've worn the Glossier perfume before, but she wats into the room and I'm like, you smell incredible. That perfume. I do feel like it's like a young icon for a reason. My youngest one, not so much, but the older one. The older one just, oh, you know what? She made me do what? This is not a product stealing, but she gave me shit for not curling my eyelashes. It's
Elise (31:31):
Big right now.
Kate Spencer (31:32):
Wow. She's so into curling her eyelashes, she'll bring the eyelash, curl her curler with her.
Elise (31:38):
Oh, even my 9-year-old is doing that, is that she doesn't wear any makeup. She just curls her eyelashes.
Doree (31:44):
Yeah. So your kids have super long eyelashes
Elise (31:48):
And my kids have super long eyelashes too, but I think it's to accentuate what they want. They
Kate Spencer (31:53):
Got Yeah, they want that flip. The flip.
Elise (31:55):
I don't, it's a Betty Boop
Kate Spencer (31:56):
Kind of. Yes. It wasn't no
Elise (31:59):
Mascara,
Kate Spencer (32:00):
No.
Elise (32:00):
Or clear mascara, if any.
Kate Spencer (32:02):
Yes. That's the other thing is sometimes they're not even wearing mascara, they just curl the lash.
Elise (32:07):
But if you have nice thick, long eyelashes like my girls, then it really opens up the eye. It
Kate Spencer (32:13):
Does. So I've learned that from my 14-year-old who knew?
Elise (32:17):
Yeah. They really like the Shiseido eyelash curlers.
Kate Spencer (32:20):
That's a fancy one. I bought that for myself maybe a few years ago. This is what get an elf, target eyelash curler. My teens.
Elise (32:31):
I wanted a bunch of really athletic girls who were sort of muddy and dirty all the time, and I wound up with ultra feminine ones that are curling their eyelashes and have cooler products than me. I don't know what happened.
Kate Spencer (32:46):
It is wild. And I do think it's been interesting. It's interesting having had done this podcast and now seeing the super boom of the younger generation, even just watching people in their twenties and what their relationship is to skincare and beauty is really fascinating to me. And I know there's always a booming moment, but it does feel like it's something else right now and I'm always pondering it.
Doree (33:16):
So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back. Are there other non skincare things that you're really into these days?
Kate Spencer (33:34):
Do you know? What I am starting to get into is my CAP machine, noori has been privy to the journey of my CAP machine.
Elise (33:43):
So many people get prescribed this machine but then don't actually use it. So you have been,
Kate Spencer (33:49):
Yes, I have sleep apnea and I would like to improve my sleep and I will say the learning curve is steep and I'm still not able to wear it through the night. I'd normally take it off, rip it off at some point in the night, but I just had a meeting with my sleep doctor and I was like, you know what? I actually now kind of crave the CPAP and I do notice better rest. And actually I have broken a piece off my mask, so I haven't been wearing it for the past few days. I have to drive and go pick up a new one. And that has been, it's been kind of a game changer. I'm excited to get back on my CPA machine and I also bought a chin strap to keep my mouth closed at night. I look wild. Going to bed
Elise (34:36):
Sexy,
Kate Spencer (34:38):
Look
Elise (34:38):
Hot. It's hot.
Kate Spencer (34:39):
It's so hot. My husband is drooling when I, who else have I
Doree (34:47):
Been? I'm going to need you to write another, a romance where the woman has a CAI
Kate Spencer (34:52):
Kind of jokingly mentioned that on Instagram and I was like, could I work this? Could I work a ccp, a p in? I do feel like it would be fun, right?
Doree (35:00):
Yes, you need to.
Kate Spencer (35:02):
Okay. The other thing that I am very into, it's not necessarily an object, but this is so specific, I don't know, I'm almost embarrassed to mention it. I have been really into letting go of all productivity apps and just using the things that are available for me on Apple because I have Apple products,
(35:24):
Figuring out how to use notes, apple calendar and Apple reminders to run my life. And then also this L Stern notebook in which I write all my, I use that as my physical checkpoint. I kind of brain dump in it and I make sure anytime I have to take notes on anything, I'm writing it all in this notebook so I don't have 50 notebooks and then I can't remember where I put something. So for example, if I have a meeting with my kids counselor, I put those notes in this notebook. If I have a call about my bookwork, I put it in this notebook, which I used to think that was not the right way to do things. I was like, I need a separate notebook for everything. But for me, consolidating and also not getting sucked into all these kind of get on notion or use this app for this.
Elise (36:19):
Oh my
Kate Spencer (36:20):
Gosh, it just, those
Elise (36:21):
Too much. The productivity industrial complex.
Kate Spencer (36:23):
Yes. It's too much. Too much. They're
Elise (36:25):
Always taking our money.
Kate Spencer (36:27):
Oh, a seven day free trial and then they bill you. I get billed.
Elise (36:30):
I forget
Kate Spencer (36:32):
A hundred percent.
Elise (36:32):
That's how they get you.
Kate Spencer (36:34):
Yep. And then I'm always writing these emails. I forgot to, luckily most of these places are pretty gracious and let me unsubscribe, but that has been, I have been trying to really streamline how I plan everything and make sure I have this one notebook and the things on my computer and phone and that's it. And it actually has been really positive.
Elise (36:58):
Good, good. Is there anything coming up for you in, well besides the big book launch, so I guess post book launch, is there anything that you're really excited about? I think everybody just wants to know what you've been up to, what you're using lately and then what you're excited about.
Kate Spencer (37:15):
I'm excited. Honestly, I am really excited to spend more time with humans, read more books. I have ideas of books that I want to start working on, but I don't have anything concrete. I don't have a book that's going to be coming out in two years or a year. I haven't gotten that far down the road yet. I have really enjoyed with this book launch, with this book coming out, just focusing on that and that kind of being the one thing I'm doing right now.
Kate Spencer (37:46):
And
Kate Spencer (37:46):
Honestly, I joined a pickleball league a few months ago and that has since ended, but I want to do another one. I am enjoying playing. I'm kind of just enjoying the everyday shit I've been doing. I do love playing pickleball. Beautiful. I do love competing and beating people and obviously losing and learning from that experience. But
Elise (38:08):
No, and I love the way you wrote that into your main character. Becks, you also wrote, we didn't get to this, but you wrote really beautifully grieving her mother who had died a few years before the plot line of the book begins. And so what was that, just working that in?
Kate Spencer (38:26):
It just came up organically where I was like, I need a reason for this 26-year-old woman to be running her family's racket club. And I had originally had a parent who was ill and dying and then I was like, this is so dark, I can't, and then I just kind of changed it as I was writing and ended up, that's another thing where I was like, oh, I'm clearly am writing this from experience because yeah, she's grieving the loss of her mom and also wanting to that feeling of take over her legacy and honor her by keeping this thing going against all odds. So yeah, so there is a little bit of grief worked into the exploring what it's like to be grieving, I guess is worked in there. What else am I doing? Again, I've just been trying to figure out what I do for pleasure. It's just that it's always very hard for me to shut off the productivity side of my brain. I realize I just said I love productivity apps, but
Elise (39:31):
Yeah, we came up in hustle culture. It's really hard to shake that
Kate Spencer (39:34):
It is. Or just I'm reading a book and I don't have to share every part of my life that kind of feeling of do I need to put everything, you don't have to review the
Elise (39:45):
Book, you don't have to interview the author, you're just reading a book because for the sake of reading a book.
Kate Spencer (39:50):
Yes. That was another thing. I don't have to post every time I read something that I like again. Again, I am getting in the weeds here because I also want to support authors. It's more just this feeling that I have had to work on of if I go out to dinner, I don't need to photograph my meal. I can just do something and do it without there having to be proof that it happened for the rest of the world. That's another thing I feel like I'm trying to help myself unlearn that I think we all have in some way just because of the digital culture. We're all existing in right now. And I also, I love digital culture, but you know
Elise (40:27):
What I mean? I almost like stubbornly don't want to share things and put it on meta, sort of like, oh, you careless tech overlords. No, you're not going to get my trip to Cabo.
Kate Spencer (40:38):
Yes. Then they're going to get all that data on you and they're going to start sending you bathing suit ads.
Doree (40:43):
Just don't like
Kate Spencer (40:44):
It. Yeah.
Doree (40:45):
So Kate, before we let you go, we did promise our listeners a Costco segment.
Kate Spencer (40:52):
Oh, I'm ready.
Doree (40:53):
So besides Olay, what else are you loving?
Kate Spencer (40:57):
Oh my gosh. I have another good Costco product. Okay, okay, okay. Nicks NYX.
Elise (41:04):
Oh yeah, the makeup.
Kate Spencer (41:05):
Yes. I got at Costco, their setting spray or it's like they're setting primer cream and then a spray and it's the marshmallow one. And I was like, I love it. It smells like marshmallows. I'm obsessed with it. It's amazing. What else has been my big Costco purchases lately? I mean, aside from the milk, that's good for, do you buy this at Costco? Is it a one milk? Oh my gosh. Oh,
Kate Spencer (41:34):
Like the steak sauce. Two sauce. I
Kate Spencer (41:35):
Think it's a two. Thank you, Dorie. It's slightly more digestible. Costco has great a two yogurts and milk
Elise (41:43):
That I always saw. Is this for people who are lactose intolerant?
Kate Spencer (41:47):
Yeah. Or lactose sensitive. Or digestively sensitive.
Elise (41:50):
Okay.
Kate Spencer (41:53):
What else has been a big, I mean for me, I'll say part of the joy of Costco is the in the moment discovery.
Elise (42:02):
It's the serendipity. Yes.
Kate Spencer (42:03):
Where you're like, I'm going in, I always have a list that I keep in the reminders app, a specific Costco grocery list, and right now it's pretty boring. It's like protein powder on it. Flowers, vegetables, fruit milk, frozen lasagna or something else, protein powder. And then Disneyland Park Hopper Pass, which is new for SoCal people at Costco. But then for me, yes, the joy is in the, you turn the corner with your big ass cart and there's just a stack of cozy paint, the ri knockoff sweatpants or whatever it is, and you're like, okay, here I am going to, for example, I got some giant comfortable slides or $10 at Costco. Those flip flop slides that have a three inch that are foamy. Yes, I got a pair of Costco to wear around the house. They're
Elise (42:59):
Fantastic. Okay. These are all great wrecks.
Kate Spencer (43:03):
Also, I will say acai bowls. My kid is really big into the Costco bowl. My
Elise (43:07):
Kid is also into acai bowls, but I haven't tried the Costco ones yet.
Kate Spencer (43:11):
They're good.
Elise (43:12):
Do I have to buy 24 of them though?
Kate Spencer (43:15):
I don't have the freezer space. It's more like a
Elise (43:16):
Six or an eight pack. Okay. I think that I can make room. You could do it.
Doree (43:20):
Kate, before you came on, you and I had a brief conversation about a great pre-order offer you have for your book. Would you like to share it with our listeners?
Kate Spencer (43:31):
Okay. I would love to because this is one of my favorite things to do, period. And forever. 35 listeners always make it extra fun. So I have a really lovely pre-order incentive right now with the ripped bodice here in Los Angeles. If you pre-order alls fair and love and pickleball from the ripped Bodice, you get a very adorable, very cute sticker sheet with stickers from the book. But I also will be signing and personalizing those books. So in the past I have drawn people eggplants, I have drawn horse heads. If you have listened to me on this podcast before, you've heard me talk about those things. But I'll also sign and personalize it however you like. You just put a note in the comments of that order and I will do it. I love it. Let me make a book special for you or somebody you love. I also will just happily write your name and sign my name, but if you want a little spice pre-order it from the Ripped Bodice. Also, if you've already pre-ordered the book from another retailer, I'm signing and personalizing book plates, which are little stickers that you can put inside your book. All that info is on my Instagram at Kate Spencer link in bio, and I'm doing an event in LA with Alyssa Sussman on June 3rd.
Elise (44:45):
Ooh, I love her books. I love how wrote.
Kate Spencer (44:47):
She's so great. She has a new book coming out that I think is going to be huge.
Elise (44:50):
Yeah. Doesn't it continue on one of her? Is it a continue on her? Funny You Should Ask series.
Kate Spencer (44:55):
Yes. It's a continuation of Gabe's sister and it's like a love story that deals with, I've read an early copy and I have the current version here.
Elise (45:06):
Well tell her I'm a fan. I will. I don't know her or anything personally. I just picked up her book or one of her books a few years ago and then started reading her
Kate Spencer (45:14):
Well, and this will be in Culver City at the Ripped Bodice on the side of la. I can be there. And I'm also doing events in Portland, Maine and in Boston this summer. So if anybody lives there and wants to come out, come say hi.
Doree (45:25):
Yay. I'm coming to your book event. So
Kate Spencer (45:28):
If anyone wants to meet Dory,
Doree (45:30):
So be ready. Okay.
Kate Spencer (45:32):
Be ready, please. Nothing makes me happier than when I see your face in the audience of a book event. I just go, Aw.
Doree (45:40):
I usually sit towards the back. I sneak in quietly.
Kate Spencer (45:44):
You do. Well, that's your vibe. You're stealth.
Doree (45:47):
I come in stealth. Well, Kate, I mean we could just keep talking, but we will let you go. Thank you for coming back on forever. 35 listeners have been wondering what you've been up to, so hopefully this will, I hope this will satisfy. Satisfy your curiosity.
Kate Spencer (46:06):
Yeah. I wish it was more like I've been skydiving, but it's really just kind of
Elise (46:11):
No, I think everybody wanted you to rest because when you retired that's what you sought. And so I have, we all wished you ease.
Kate Spencer (46:18):
Thank you. I have been experiencing more rest and that has been
Elise (46:22):
Really nice. Good. And not listening to podcasts at two x,
Kate Spencer (46:25):
Not listening to podcasts. No. Yes. Not at two x. Maybe it What if I
Elise (46:30):
Wanted, what were you doing, Mr. Kate?
Kate Spencer (46:32):
Oh, he's intense. You'll have to meet him piece at work.
Elise (46:37):
Thank you so
Kate Spencer (46:38):
Much. Thank you. Thank you guys. Saying was so great to be back. Thank you for having me.
Doree (46:46):
Well, that was a delight. It was a good thing Kate had a heart out because otherwise I think we would've kept her. We would've
Elise (46:51):
Kept going.
Doree (46:52):
Yeah. Yeah.
Elise (46:54):
I didn't even get into how her main character in the book Nico, she described him looking exactly like my boyfriend, Mateo Barini. Mateo Barini doesn't know that he's my boyfriend, but he is my man. He is one of the top, well, I guess he's in the top 50 ranked tennis players in the world and he's Italian and he is hot, hot, hot. I saw him in real life at Indian Wells this year and took a picture where he's way in the background. I took a selfie where he's way in the background, but I captioned it for selfie with my man. He's a dreamboat and this main character in Kate's book. I don't know, did you get that vibe? I feel like he sort of looked like Mateo to me or that's what I pictured.
Doree (47:39):
No, I picture that too.
Elise (47:41):
Yeah, he has that kind of look. So anyway, get the book All's Fair and Love and Pickleball and it's time to enter the Intention zone. Dorie, did you get rid of Henry's clothes?
Doree (47:53):
I did not get rid of Henry's clothes. They're still in a pile in my office. I need to do that. That intention is carrying over to next week. And then this week, my intention is to figure out what to do on over Memorial Day weekend with Henry. Because three days, it's a lot.
Elise (48:21):
It could be a long stretch. I'm headed into a two day soccer tournament in Orange County and deep Orange County too, like south of Laguna Beach, south of Laguna Woods, orange County. And so it's not like I can be there for the morning game and then drive home and then go back for the afternoon game. We're just have six hours of dead time in Orange County where I'm supposed to keep Luna off her feet. So I don't know what's going to happen. That might be rough. But my intention last week was to exercise in New York and by exercise I had meant taking a class pass
(48:56):
Class, which I failed to do even though I have been taking my class pass classes here this week since I've been home. I failed to do it because my plans in New York are so loosey goosey, sort of like, oh yeah, I got to see you and maybe we'll meet up later. But then we don't say a time and so then I don't really know when I can safely take a class and not be available. So I just blew off that intention. But I did walk a lot, walked a lot, and when I could, I walked. And so I got all my steps on those days. Just not the kind of class exercise this week because I have noticed some real tightness in my hamstrings. It's so funny. I have a good friend in New York who listens to Forever 35 and she's like, Elise, every other week your intention is to exercise more. Just exercise. But I don't think it's that common. So this week I'm going to foam roll. I'm going to do some therapy on myself.
Doree (49:54):
That's a good intention.
Elise (49:56):
Foam rolls and stretching. I'm just typing this down so I can really make it real.
Doree (50:02):
Alright, well Elise, once a month we thank our Patreon supporters at the hotel suite and hotel spa level. Someone suggested recently that we do a Doree's Hotel for our Patreon supporters. And I can put that together. I think I can whip something up. So stay tuned for that.
Elise (50:24):
Okay. Yeah, I think you should do it.
Doree (50:25):
So thank you to the following supporters, Caitlin h Katie, Ashley Taylor, Theresa Anderson, Michelle Maya, Barbara Chios, Amy, Amy Schnitzer, Heather Hale, Megan Donald Brew, Jr. Helen Des Moy, Shelly Lee, Kim Beagler, Sarah, Sarah Boozy, Alison Cohen, Susan Eth, Melissa McLean, Fran, Kelsey Wolf, Donne, Laura Dy, Tel Apte, Valerie, Bruno, Jane, Thoreau, Julia, Daniel e, Jackson, Amy, Mako, Liz, rain. J. DK. Jennifer Smith, Hannah m Julia, putt, Maddie O'Day, Marissa, Lauren, Gitlin, CBELL, Maria, Diana, Coco Bean, Laura Hadden, Josie h, Nikki, Boer, Juliana Duff, Chelsea Torres, Tiffany G, Emily McIntyre, Stephanie, Ana, Elizabeth A. Kelly Dearborn, Christine Bassis, Alison, Mark Lane, Jessica Gale, Zulema, Lundy, Carolyn Rodriguez, Carrie Gold and t Nikki, Catherine Ellingson, Kara Brugmann, Sarah H, Sarah Egan, Jess bin, Jennifer Olson, Jennifer Hs, Eliza Gibson, Jillian Bowman, Brianne, Macy, Karen Perlman, Katie, Jordan, Sarah, MKM, Emily, Bruer, Josie, Alquist, Tara, Todd, Elizabeth Cleary, and Monica. And as I was reading those names, I realized there was another Patreon benefit that we often forget to mention, which is our ad-free episodes.
Elise (51:50):
Get in on that, folks.
Doree (51:52):
Yes.
Elise (51:53):
One of the comments that we get in the ratings is often that, especially for many episodes, it feels like they're, the ads take up a lot of the full runtime of the show and you can just leapfrog over all those ads with ad-free episodes if you are at the $10 level on Patreon.
Doree (52:12):
Yeah, so check that out. And just a reminder that Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Doree Shafrir and Elise Hu, and produced and edited by Samee Junio. Sami Reed is our project manager, and our network partner is Acast. Thanks everyone for listening. Take care. Talk to you next time. Bye.