Mini-Ep 437: Reflection Not Perfection
Listeners tell Doree and Elise about great dinner recipe ideas for when you're in a dinner rut, their 5 year pandemic anniversary reflections, and how the past discussion on perfectionism resonated with them.
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise Hu (00:16):
And I'm Elise Hu. And we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree Shafrir (00:20):
And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember, we are not experts. We are podcast hosts and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. Oh, before we get started, we are doing a listener survey. So if you wouldn't mind just clicking on the link in our episode description, and it's also linked in our link tree from our Instagram. It's on our website. It would be super helpful if you could answer, just answer some questions over there so we can get a better sense of who's listening, who you are, what you're into, what you're not into. Yeah, that would be great. So please click on that link. Yeah, Elise, how's it going? Fantastic.
Elise Hu (01:15):
Well, I wanted to talk to you and the listeners because I've been complaining that I've been losing my hair, right? Curiously, ever since basically January, the fires. And I had an episode like this during Covid, actually at the very beginning of Covid where I noticed my hair was falling out in the shower and it was like I was shedding all over the place and I can see it on my clothes and things. And then I've also had to deal with postpartum hair loss, which I think is very common. After my babies are born, my hairline kind of moves back, and then I have little fuzzy baby hairs
Doree Shafrir (01:48):
At
Elise Hu (01:48):
The front. And so I was actually looking at baby pictures of the kids and saw one from 2015 when my middle daughter Issa was born, and I could see all that fuzzy baby hair. My Harold sort of looked like hers, so I've been complaining about this. And then you all have written in with tips and things on our Patreon and also called in for these mini apps. But then a few days ago, the cut from New York Magazine put out a story. Did you see this story? No. It's about how a lot of young women are convinced they're losing their hair because we're being marketed to with all of these hair growth products.
Doree Shafrir (02:29):
Yes, on Instagram. Instagram. I saw their Instagram post about it, ironically enough, but I didn't read the actual article.
Elise Hu (02:36):
And so now I'm like, am I losing my hair or am I just getting so many ads from hers or neutrophil or whatever that now I'm like, oh, maybe I need to take that. So this is such a classic beauty industry thing. Problematizing something about you so that you can spend money to buy it or to buy a solution. And I'm like, wait, am I losing my hair or not losing my hair? So that's kind of
Doree Shafrir (03:04):
My latest. Now again, I did not read the full article, but just based on the excerpts that were in their Instagram posts, it seemed that the gist of the article was about women in their twenties and early thirties thinking that they're losing their hair or being influenced to think they're losing their hair. And I hate to say it, but as ladies in our forties, I think it's probably quite likely that we are actually losing our hair.
Elise Hu (03:34):
And it also talked about how during the Covid pandemic, a lot of folks were experiencing hair loss. And so it's legit that it's happening. I'm just sort of like, wait, because our realities are so filtered through the media that we consume now I'm just sort of like, crap, am I going to spend a bunch of money for something that isn't a real problem? And how do I know if it's a real problem and la la I need to consult, I'm going to have to consult with an expert. I've consulted with my hair person and she's like, I dunno, your hair looks fine.
Doree Shafrir (04:14):
I mean, it looks the same. Go to your dermatologist. That's who I would talk to. I'll say, my dermatologist was like, it'll take probably about six months for you to see results from taking Minoxidil, and we're getting up on six months and I am seeing results.
Elise Hu (04:36):
Oh, that's good.
Doree Shafrir (04:37):
Yeah,
Elise Hu (04:38):
That's good.
Doree Shafrir (04:39):
It's working. The other thing that's really funny to me is they say that when you start taking Minoxidil, you can get unwanted hair growth. Some people get they grow a mustache or their faces get hairy or whatever. And I have noticed a little more peach fuzz, but nothing crazy. But the only thing that has started to be very noticeable is one of my eyebrows has gotten really pushier bushy I compared to the other. Yes. And I have thin eyebrows anyway. And they're not fully, they're not filling in exactly, but I'm noticing the hairs are getting super long really fast, and it's just the one eyebrow is sort of out of control and I can't shape it and I usually get my eyebrows done. I have historically been able to go 10 to 12 weeks between eyebrow appointments because I just don't have that much eyebrow hair. And now I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not getting my eyebrows done for another two weeks. This is an emergency. So that is the one other result that I have seen.
Elise Hu (05:58):
That's exactly the effect I don't want on my eyebrows because I have one of those problems where I get Bert from Bur and Ernie Eyebrows, and so I have to go every two or three weeks. I have to have them on text because it's like, I got to come in tomorrow, so wouldn't it just be my luck? Oh my gosh. Then I decide, oh, maybe I'm losing my hair. And then I start taking something and it makes my eyebrow problem worse.
Doree Shafrir (06:21):
Yes.
Elise Hu (06:22):
So that's just what I don't need. But anyway, ladies, you should listen or you should read this article. It's in the cut. It's caught. The headline is Why are so many young women convinced they're balding by Laura Pitcher? So check that out
Doree Shafrir (06:38):
Before we take a break, Elise, I had put out a call for weeknight dinner ideas
(06:44)
And a listener did text in and say, for Dory's dinner dilemma. And then they put little trademarks on. So I like that. I like the alliteration. Yes. I wanted to send in a fave of mine cook eight ounces of penne pasta. I actually like the mini penne and while it's cooking, combined eight ounces of goat cheese and around eight ounces of store-bought pesto that you like. My preferred pesto comes in seven ounce containers, so it's slightly less and that's fine. Drain the pasta and throw it back in the pan. Add the combined pesto slash goat cheese and six to eight ounces of shredded cooked chicken. You could use a rotisserie chicken or I'll often cook a couple of chicken breasts in the slow cooker to use throughout the week. Stir it all together. Sometimes it's helpful to add some of the pasta water and voila, I usually make this on a Sunday and divide it into four for my lunches for the week. It reheats beautifully.
Elise Hu (07:37):
That sounds so yummy. And quick
Doree Shafrir (07:39):
And easy. And then someone else wrote into recommend the Blog Pinch of Yum, and they also have a newsletter with ideas for the week. I love a blog recommendation. Let's just go back to blogs. Okay. We're going to take a short break Before we do that, our voicemail number is (781) 591-0390. You can call or text us on that number and our email is Forever 35 podcast@gmail.com and we will be right back. We'll be right back. Alright, we're back. We had asked for your reflections about Covid. It's been five
Elise Hu (08:23):
Years
Doree Shafrir (08:24):
In the wake of the five-year anniversary of Covid, if you can believe that. And we got a few, so I want to share a couple. The first is a voicemail.
Listener Voicemail (08:38):
Hi, Doree and Elise, apparently all I do is call you on my way home from work. Now I'm in to share my covid reflections with you guys. I was a healthcare worker during the pandemic. I'm a speech therapist who works in a hospital, and needless to say, it was a very traumatic time for everyone involved. We didn't really know who was going to be well and who was not going to be well. And very frequently I would walk onto the floor and not have any nursing staff available. They were coding patients down the hallway. It was just a really, really tough time and it was very, very strained on everyone and it was terrifying to know to not know whether or not you were going to get sick and not know whether or not you were going to live or die. And unfortunately, healthcare has not really improved since then. So it's definitely changed the way that I see the world and definitely changed the way that I practice. And it's also just shown kind of those cracks in our society that we have and has really made me be empathetic to those who don't have support that we can't really do much about. So yeah, it was just a really tough time that I hope never ever, ever to experience again in my life because just a really, really dark time. So I hope you guys are doing well and have a good rest of your week.
Elise Hu (10:12):
Thank you for sharing that with us. Agree. Thank you for all of the work that you were doing too to save lives.
Doree Shafrir (10:19):
Yeah.
Elise Hu (10:21):
It brings me a lot of dismay to hear her say, I don't think things are better or that we're more prepared. It's just like, great. We went through all of that and haven't improved. I think we've improved on some fronts. Maybe, maybe not. I dunno. So yeah, that's tough. That's a tough reflection, but I'm really glad that you called us to share it with
Doree Shafrir (10:40):
Too. We got another email from a listener who said, I definitely have a covid throwback for y'all. See the email below. It was the first time I ever emailed the podcast and wow, my life is so different since I quit that toxic job. I learned so much as a nurse slash human during the pandemic. Five years later, I'm now a nurse educator and able to teach new graduate nurses who went to school during the pandemic. Eek all about how to be a nurse. For real. This is my dream job. Anyway, love y'all. Thanks for everything as always.
(11:13)
I'm going to just give some of the highlights here from the email that the listener sent us five years ago. At the time they were 27 and they had really been through it during Covid. They were working in a hospital without good PPE and things were just rough. And they eventually realized they needed to put their job and then they started working in community health to distribute the Covid vaccine. But then that was a toxic environment. And then they put in their two weeks and quit that job and then they had a new job lined up and it sounds like maybe that new job was the one that went well. So thank you for that update. I love a five-year check-in. My gosh. Yeah. How cool. It's crazy to go back to these times.
Elise Hu (12:05):
It's so touching.
Doree Shafrir (12:07):
Yeah. Elise, do you want to read this next one?
Elise Hu (12:09):
Sure. Hello Dorian and Elise. Random pandemic reflection from me. I went from working two days from home to full-time remote during the pandemic. I still work fully from home. One change that I've made during the pandemic that I've been able to stick to is that I brush my teeth for two minutes every morning and every evening. I was never able to get to two minutes in, especially in the morning rushing to get out of the house for the morning commute. I've been getting compliments from the dental hygienists for the past few years on my excellent teeth cleaning habits. That's a great little change that lasted. Yeah, funny. There's this great podcast if you're trying to encourage your kids or yourself to brush your teeth for the full recommended two minutes. There's a podcast called Chompers and it's exactly two minutes, so you listen to it as the episode goes on. That's so funny. And so you know that you're supposed to stop brushing by the time it's over. It's so great. It's such a smart concept, so I'll make my kids do that sometimes.
Doree Shafrir (13:07):
I'm not great at doing the full two minutes.
Elise Hu (13:09):
Me neither. Me neither. Which is why I'm sort of like, I need to get Alexa to play chompers. Yeah,
Doree Shafrir (13:14):
Totally. That's so funny. Alright, well, you know what, before we take another break, I'm going to read another email on a different topic. And thank you all for sending in your covid thoughts and reflections, and if you have others, please share them. We'll happily read more of 'em, but this is a note we got from another listener, Doreen Elise, listener, since season one here, so many things I want to say, but your open conversations about perfectionism were super relevant for me. Book reco for you and my fellow Forever. 35 listeners that I found super helpful. The Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control by Catherine Morgan Schaffler,
Listener Voicemail (13:56):
My
Doree Shafrir (13:56):
Lifelong bestie, and I read and discussed it together. She's in South Korea and I'm in Massachusetts. Speaking of staying in touch with long-distance friends, we found it really liberating since it takes the POV that perfectionism isn't something to get rid of, but rather work with adaptively. It also outlines five types of perfectionism, so scratches that Cosmo quiz itch for we millennials, along with clarifying why it didn't feel like a classic perfectionist. Love you ladies. Love the pod. Thanks for being my favorite pair of social friends, Brianne
Elise Hu (14:27):
PS
Doree Shafrir (14:28):
Dory. What's going on with golf lessons? You inspired me to look into programs at my local rec center and what do you know? They had group golf lessons. It's been fun learning a new skill and knowing what to focus on when I'm less than great and my husband is thrilled to have someone to play with. Totally worth a try. Thanks for the inspo. I didn't sign up again. It was honestly just too big a chunk of my day. By the time I got all the way over there, the city Golf Academy is in Griffith Park, which shouldn't be that far for me, but somehow always ended up taking half an hour each way and plus the time at the, it was just too much time in the middle of a workday, so I just haven't done it again. So yeah. So that's kind of what happened. Yeah.
Elise Hu (15:26):
But good for the listener that you're doing
Doree Shafrir (15:28):
It. Good for the listener. I know. I love that. I inspired you to do this. That's awesome. Okay, well we are going to take another short break and we'll be right back with another couple of messages.
Elise Hu (15:41):
Okay. We'll be right back.
Doree Shafrir (15:49):
All right, we're back. This is a voicemail from a listener with a request for some tips.
Listener Voicemail (15:56):
Cool. Hi, my name is Claire. I was calling as a longtime lover of River 35 to give a shout out to my best friend Rachel, who turned forever 35 this year, but also just had her first baby who was born with a congenital anomaly and is in the NICU for the foreseeable future at least a few months. And she's doing such a good job as a new mom, even though the situation is horrible. And so I just wanted to call in. She also loves Trevor 35 and we love talking about the show. And also if any other people have any NICU tips, positive things to share, words of solidarity, anything, I would love to hear it and I'm sure she would too. Thank you. Love you Rachel, and love you Elise and Dori.
Elise Hu (16:51):
Well, thank you so much. What a lovely shout out to your friend. And we are sending love and solidarity and support to our listener who is spending a lot of time in the NICU and wishing you nothing but healthy and healing vibes for the baby. I imagine it's really stressful and exhausting to not be at home with the baby as you might've expected to. And then having to deal with the grief too of what you expected versus what the daily reality is in the NICU must be also very difficult. I will say that so many of my three children, seven and nine and 12, so many of their friends spent the early months of their lives in the NICU and are thriving and delightful and you will get through it. The one thing that I do recall from a lot of my friends who have had eventful starts to their kids' lives is that it's really cold in there. It can get really cold in hospitals at night. So try and bring things from home to stay warm and cozy. Whether it's fuzzy slippers or your favorite throw, those kind of creature comforts can often be helpful. What does this make you think of dor?
Doree Shafrir (18:18):
I was thinking about how eating in the NICU when you have a baby in the NICU is often tough. And I know people who have babies in the NICU have often found getting DoorDash gift cards to be super helpful. Stuff like that. Just sort of very practical, practical stuff. So that could be one way you could organize a meal train that could be something else that you do.
Elise Hu (18:54):
And also just the shout out is really lovely too.
Doree Shafrir (18:57):
So
Elise Hu (18:57):
I'm so glad that you two have each other totally. Clearly you have a friend who cares all about you a lot and has reached out to us to amplify this shout out and we are happy to
(19:08)
And sending you all of the healing vibes. Thank you callers and listeners for all of your submissions. And before we go, Dore, I know occasionally we like to do this and maybe we didn't do it in last week's episode, but Costco Rex or Trader Joe's picks. I have one that I just want to remind those of you who have Costco memberships about, which is like, this is the time of year when Costco has very affordable plants and gardening things. So they often have the fiddly fig that's very popular. It's like the hot house plant and they have the fi fig for $23 or something like that. They had lavender at mine that you can plant in your front yard. They're also just lots of gardening tools and hoses and planters. This is the time, so get out there. Hot care. Yeah. If you want to get your affordable house plants and gardening things at Costco. What about you? Have you spotted anything?
Doree Shafrir (20:10):
Well, this isn't like a new product. I almost mentioned it the other day when we were talking about little treats that bring us joy. But they have this container of biscotti, the La Dolce Vita Classic Almond Biscotti. I think it's like 12 or $15. And it's these kind of mini biscottis and they're really delicious. They're like a nice little treat. And are they good with coffee? They're good with, they're just yummy. I mean, are they the same as what you would get in Rome? No,
Elise Hu (21:00):
That's not really a standard to which we should
Doree Shafrir (21:02):
Aspire. Exactly. But do they scratch the biscotti itch?
Elise Hu (21:06):
Yes.
Doree Shafrir (21:07):
Great. So that is my recommendation.
Elise Hu (21:10):
That's great. My parents are coming and they are morning coffee drinkers and afternoon coffee drinkers. And my mom makes this whole ritual of making her coffee in the afternoon and having a little snack. So I should put this biscotti in the Hugh Hideaway in the back house for them, which
Doree Shafrir (21:25):
Is Yes, you totally should. You totally, totally, totally should
Elise Hu (21:28):
For their after coffee. I think that would be a nice hostess thing for me to do.
Doree Shafrir (21:30):
That would be amazing.
Elise Hu (21:33):
Okay, great.
Doree Shafrir (21:33):
Alright everybody, thanks for listening. Elise, great to see you and talk to you. Good to see you, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye.