Mini-Ep 444: Spill the Tee
Doree has tennis team gossip and Elise has the perfect New York spring trip. Then, listeners write in about how to find your professional spark after a layoff and the best tools for maintaining your bikini area, and also share their recs for summer tees, a hypoallergenic lipgloss, and weeknight cookbooks.
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise (00:16):
And I'm Elise Hu. And we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree (00:21):
And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember, we're podcast hosts. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. That
Elise (00:38):
Is right. That is right. That is true.
Doree (00:40):
How's it going, Elise?
Elise (00:41):
It's going great. I'm back from New York. I had a lovely spring weekend in New York.
Doree (00:50):
Yeah, how's your trip?
Elise (00:51):
A lot of the days were just like everybody is out with their dogs and their babies because the weather's so balmy and then you have that aqua blue skies. But when I first got there it was very rainy and I think you sent me an article about how it had been rainy, but that's such east coast bias. Totally. When it rains here, it's also a big deal, but we never get a story about it. But yeah, when the sun did come out on Saturday and Sunday, everyone was out and there was that sense of joy and bliss in the air and a liberation and
(01:32):
It was lovely. And we had so much fun in that I was there to do a convening for the Met, a creative convening for the Met Little Museum, perhaps you've heard of it. It's actually a large sprawling museum, it turns out. Indeed. And I got lost trying to find the exhibition for which our convening was associated with. And so I had one hour to see the actual exhibition and spent 35 minutes getting lost. I was like among the knife and the chain mail for a while, and that wasn't it. That wasn't the Chin Wasi. So I was doing something on Asian beauty and Chin Wasi, and then I found myself in medieval times.
Doree (02:19):
Oh my god,
Elise (02:21):
It's just a large sprawling museum. But that program was very thought provoking and I came away from it just bouncing lots of ideas, bouncing around my head. But what was so special about being in New York when everybody is out and about is those New York nights where lots of random things happen and people run into people and one thing turns to another, turns to another because Because of the density of New York. Totally. And because you're not driving place to place and everybody kind of knows somebody else who might have a hookup to something else. And so I did kind of the touristy thing or the more traditional, classic New York things of eating at Joe Allen and catching a show. And the show that I caught the now that has 10 Tony nominations, maybe happy ending was just thrilling. And it was just such a great rom-com and Rob didn't want to see it.
(03:17):
And as we were leaving, he was like, this was so worth seeing. It was so well done. But then the New York Night that turned out so great was it kind of had that feeling of just the perfect alchemy of people and then being able to be outdoors. We wound up on the rooftop of a West Village, like row house where my friends Karen David, who are usually in la but happened to be spending time at their West Village place for the next month or so, they happened to come out that night and they were like, we started off at a bar and then wanted to find another bar, but where do you find a place on a Friday night that can seat or have enough room for 10 of us? And so then Kara and David and Kara was kind of already high on gummies, and David's always Doy. David has a real Paul Rudd energy and kind of looks like Paul Rudd too. And Kara was like, well, we're already in the West Village, which is two blocks from my house. Do you guys just want to come to my house? And the group was just walking along. And so most of the group, it wasn't apparent to them that we were going to Kara and David's house for the next spot.
(04:28):
That's so
Doree (04:29):
Funny.
Elise (04:29):
And what's so deceiving is they have an odd apartment in that it's a storefront, so it's the first floor of a row house in the West Village where there's lots of restaurants and other and bars and stuff that are their neighbors, but then their place is a residence. And so you just walk straight into it and it's their apartment and they have these windows up front that with a click of a button they can turn the windows from where you can see everything inside to then blurry and you just press a button and it's so cool. And so we were playing with that. But then because they weren't planning on having people over, they had just cooked broccoli that night before they left the house to come meet us at the bar. So we walked in and we're blasted with the smell of broccoli. Oh my God. And Kara was like, sorry, we just cooked broccoli.
(05:27):
And then Rob, that's really funny. Rob said under his breath and he was like, yeah, yeah, everybody welcome to Bar Oley. And nobody heard his joke, so nobody was there to laugh at his joke and he needed all of us to laugh at his joke. And he's like, bar Oly. And then everybody got it. It was hilarious. And then they have a rooftop deck up top because they own the first floor and then they have tenants the second, third, and fourth floor. And then we went up to the roof and just all sat around and it was just like a random amalgam of my friends from various parts of my life. One I met in Koala Lumpur and one I met in Michigan when I was speaking in Michigan one time, and two of them were some of my oldest friends, and it was just Rob's cousin Max who lives in Bushwick, came over the artist, the sculptor. It was just such a random group. And that's exactly what I love about New York, that you can
Doree (06:27):
Totally
Elise (06:27):
Go from one thing, it morphs to another and morphs to another. So the rest of the trip was great, but I am always going to remember that particular night because it was so emblematic of what makes New York a really magical place.
Doree (06:42):
That's so fun.
Elise (06:43):
And it was your birthday weekend and I didn't get to see you on your birthday. We are going to celebrate still, but tell us what you did for your birthday weekend.
Doree (06:52):
On Friday when I woke up, Matt and Henry brought a bunch of balloons and flowers and cards into the bedroom. Henry, I love that. It was very sweet and had picked out specific balloons. He also for Mother's Day, had gotten me this little balloon on a stick that's a heart, and it says Best mom on it. And he over the last week has just been coming up to me and waving it in my face and I'm like, I'm the best mom. And he's like, best mom, best mom.
Elise (07:26):
Oh, I hope he never loses that. I
Doree (07:28):
Know. It was very sweet. He wrote a card for me. It was really sweet. Then I got a massage.
Elise (07:39):
Right. Good. How did you
Doree (07:40):
Like it? It was lovely. It was great then. And Matt drove me there and picked me up so I didn't have to drive, which was the best. And then he and I got lunch and then I just kind relaxed for a little bit and then he picked Henri up from school and they made me a cake. They made me a strawberry short cake, which was
Elise (08:03):
Kind
Doree (08:03):
Of cake that I wanted. And I also got Sugarfish, which is sushi, and I'm pretty sure it made me sick. So that was kind of a bummer because at first I was like, maybe it was the cake. And then I was like, wait, neither Matt nor Henry got sick and I was the only one who got sugar fish because had sushi. Matt doesn't really sushi and Henry doesn't eat sushi. So I was like, okay. It was definitely the Sugarfish. I was like, that Toro roll did taste a little off. So that was a bummer, but it was fine. Matt and I also started watching a new show together, which is the Netflix version of traders. It's called Million Dollar Secret. It's up. It's very silly. I think traitors on the whole is a better show, but it's very entertaining and it scratches the itch. And it's Peter Sitz in the Alan Cumming role, and he is sort of similarly campy, but not in as gay away as Alan Cumming is. But he is a heightened version of himself and yeah, it's entertaining. We're enjoying it.
Listener Voicemail (09:23):
Okay, good.
Doree (09:24):
That was fun. Then Saturday I took Henry to soccer and then took him to a birthday party and then I went to watch my tennis team win, which was fun.
Listener Voicemail (09:35):
Yay.
Doree (09:35):
Yeah, it was interesting. So there aren't enough. The spring season of tennis is five matches per match, five lines of tennis per match, which is a lot. So you need a lot of courts to play every line. And so the place where we play doesn't have enough courts for us to play all at once, so the matches are staggered. So
Listener Voicemail (09:57):
We
Doree (09:57):
Play two lines at two and three lines at four. And I thought it was so interesting. The other team, it's like this sort of fancy country club team, as each of them finished their matches, they were just like Bye. And they all left and my team stayed and cheered for their teammates, which I thought was the nice normal, normal thing isn't the point, isn't point of having a team. Yeah, exactly. And it was just such an interesting vibe. These women were all just like,
Elise (10:28):
Yeah, individualist versus
Doree (10:29):
More team based. Were all just like we're out. So I do feel like we have a good team dynamic, but that just really sort of illustrated it for me.
Elise (10:39):
Crystallized
Doree (10:40):
It. Yeah. These people do not care about the other people on the team. They're just there to play their match and leave. They could not care less and they lost all their matches. So
Elise (10:54):
Maybe there is something
Doree (10:55):
To, I'm just saying waiting for each other. I mean, I just think when you feel more invested and when you actually get along with the people on your team and they're nice, normal people. I don't know what these women are like on this other team, but it is a country club team, so there's already sort of a level of something else there. And it is satisfying to beat a club team because they have coaches and they have courts available all the time and it's a different level and we're just this scrappy public court team and we all like each other and they seem to not like each other. So anyway, Elise, we should take a little break. Before we do that though, we did get one text from someone that I want to read, which was Dorie, hoping your book project is tennis related. You're so passionate about it. I bet it would be amazing. It is tennis related. That's not to say that I couldn't write something tennis related At some
Elise (11:58):
Point you could pivot. Yeah, I could pivot.
Doree (12:00):
I know I feel like there's a world where I start writing something else and then go back to the manuscript that I am ostensibly working on now. I feel like I need, my brain needs to be jiggled in some sort of way. I don't know what's going on. Alright, before we take a break, please call and text us. These mini apps are all about you. We answer your comments and questions. (781) 591-0390 is our phone number. You can call or text us there. You can email us at forever five podcast gmail.com. We have our website Forever 35 podcast. We have links there to everything we mention on the show. We are on Instagram at Forever 35 podcast and we have a newsletter at Forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter. Elise, I don't know if you remember a listener recently was asking for t-shirt recommendations and after the break we have some t-shirt recommendations.
Elise (12:56):
Okay. Can't wait
Doree (12:57):
All, we'll be right back. Alright, we are back as promised. We do have some t-shirt recommendations. The first one I'm going to, it's a voicemail, so I'm going to play this voicemail.
Listener Voicemail (13:15):
Hi ladies. I'm calling in response to the caller who was asking for recommendations on the sort of perfect running around summer. I also live in jeans and t-shirts most of the year. I live in Southern California, so that's kind of all the time uniform. I also second Elisa's recommendation about the made. Wow. I think all of them are great and they do have a variety of styles and cuts, but I also wanted to recommend the Marine layer. They're super high quality. I've had some that lasted me for years and years. Sometimes they have sales and you can get a bundle of three, I think at a discounted price. It's company that's started in San Francisco, California. So I think they have some, a good ethos built into their brand and they're local American company, so I think they're a good one to support. So I definitely recommend that.
Doree (14:13):
Okay. Marine Layer. I feel like I've heard people recommend Marine Layer before. Have you ever worn their stuff, Elise?
Elise (14:21):
I haven't. I love the brand, but I don't have t-shirts from them. I just went to the website to look up their tees and it looks like they do have sales on men's teas right now, like three for a certain amount of money. But then also they have a lot of cropped teas, so if you are kind of shorter, wasted longer leg like I am, it's a nice crop tee. Would be nice for rambling around or bouncing around in, so I'll check it out.
Doree (14:44):
Okay.
Elise (14:46):
Any other wrecks?
Doree (14:47):
Yes, we also, we got a text recommending the Everlane air tea, which I looked at. It looks like a nice loose fitting, lightweight tea crew neck. It is $38, but I just want to note that Everlane is having a 25% off sale for Memorial Day and that is through May 26th. So you have five days. So that seemed like a good wreck if that's sort of the style, not if you're looking for a fitted, more fitted shirt, but this looked like a nice summary, loose fitting t-shirt.
Listener Voicemail (15:25):
Hey, this is Emily from Nashville, longtime listener calling in with two res for you for the collar that was looking for T-shirt recommendations with longer sleeve aleta with crop. It has a sleeve sleeve, it's loose and DRA and the sleeves hit just above your elbow. It's made of a very soft, lightweight fabric that makes it super comfy. You could work on in it of course, but I usually just wear it around for traveling. It also looks cute. Great everyday t-shirt, second rack specifically for all of our sensitive skin, fragrance-free life cocoa kind lips. I think they call it their ceramide lip. They're labeling it as the first hypoallergenic lip gloss and the first lip gloss, or at least the first bed I've ever been able to find without fragrance grade ingredients. No fragrance comes in like six colors and it's $12 at Ulta. I think you can also buy it on this, but Right. I love it. I get eczema around my lips, so that makes lipstick lip gloss. Lip color nearly impossible. So really excited about this product. Dory, I think you would like it. Thanks guys.
Doree (17:07):
Alright, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, two great recs. Two great recs. Alright, we have another request for listener feedback. This is the text we got. Hi, Doree and Elise, now that we're entering the start of summer and pool season here on the East coast, I'd love to hear from you and listeners on what people are using on their bikini lines, not shaving or waxing because I'm too sensitive for either of those options. I keep getting ads for creams like bush balm, but given that I grew up in the days of Nare, I'm a little wary. Help please. Thanks.
Elise (17:43):
I also grew up in the days of Nare. I remember using it a couple times and like, nope. Yeah,
Doree (17:49):
I was always scared of Nare.
Elise (17:50):
Yeah, you were right to be fearful. Also, I'm really sort of skeptical of chemicals that can just make your hair die, just kill your hair. Yes.
Doree (18:04):
I think you should be skeptical of those chemicals,
Elise (18:07):
What? Those kind of things seem really scary. Right? Is it Napalm? Oh my gosh. Anyway, yeah, listeners, that's a call out for you. I wax, but I also, so I go to two Queen bee, shout out to Queen Bee salon and spa for my waxes upstairs and downstairs and with my downstairs waxes. Actually, they told me I couldn't go too frequently, so before I was going every three or four weeks and now they have me on a six week rotation because I get folliculitis, which those little bumps and then they have to do that therapy, that light therapy or whatever that wand, and it's more work for them to have to do that. So now they're just like, don't come too often, you're on a six week plan. But listeners, what are y'all doing? I also get kinds, I get Instagram ads for all these new ways of hair removal, like new devices and things for hair removal and I don't know which ones are good and which ones aren't. So let us know, Dora, is there anything you recommend?
Doree (19:12):
I mean, I got my bikini line lasered like 15 years ago because waxing gave me folliculitis and then I would pick at it and it was not a good situation, so I just ended up getting it lasered with, I think I got a Groupon to Bliss in New York. It was when I still lived in New York. So this will tell you how long ago it was, and it takes a few sessions, but laser hair removal is great if you have the right kind of hair for it. It doesn't work on every shade of skin and hair color combination. So you have to find out if you are a candidate, but if you are pale with dark hair, that's the best combo apparently for a laser. So laser just zaps it right
Elise (20:00):
Off. I'm so glad I did it for my armpits. So I did laser hair removal for my armpit hair and I never bother with it ever again or I haven't bothered with it ever again. Best with bikini line. Like I did several treatments, but then it still wasn't that effective and then I didn't want to spend any more money, so I was just like, whatever. I
Doree (20:23):
Hear you. I hear you.
Elise (20:26):
Yeah. But listeners, let us know what the latest innovations are in this area.
Doree (20:30):
Yeah. Also if you have used bush balm in particular, let us know. All right, Elise, we are going to take another break and when we come back we have a listener who needs our help with an impending layoff.
Elise (20:45):
Okay. We'll be right.
Doree (20:54):
Alright, we are back. Elise, you want to take this one?
Elise (20:57):
Yeah, here is an email from a listener. Hi Elise and Dory. I am facing a layoff at work and it's my second layoff in five years. As a result, I'm feeling really jaded and uninspired professionally. I feel like I'm just sort of drifting right now and have very little drive to look for a new job. I'm wondering if you or any listeners can speak to feeling like you've lost your spark or drive professionally. What have you done to help find your way? I'm also a mom to a two and a half year old and plan on keeping my daughter home from daycare two days per week this summer and trying to find contract work for the other three days. Any advice anyone has on navigating these types of shifts, both as a professional and as a parent are welcome. Thanks so much, Allie. Yeah, the adrift feeling. The adrift feeling. I haven't had, see, the thing about layoffs, which I find to be such a violation is that they weren't of your own volition. You didn't get to choose the terms of leaving, which then can feel kind of jarring. And then it sounds like allie's dealing with two in a row, two inside of five years.
(22:11):
And I guess the way that I responded to a lot of this happening in our field, in journalism and in media was to become less loyal to institutions. So over the course of my career, I went from somebody who went to work for a giant corporation. I was at a Hearst television station and then at Gnet and all these big companies that provided retirement matching and health insurance and all those things. And then over the years started to not find the trade-offs worth it that much and feel as though the security that they promise when they hire you was always a bit of a mirage. And you could argue that the through line to how I wound up being a freelancer, somebody who really works for no major institution, is that feeling of precariousness. And so one of the ways that I have dealt with the uncertainty is to try and work for myself, but then you're trading one kind of hustle for another kind of hustle. So one way to kind of take an audit is I actually got a book called The Life Audit and it can help you figure out your values and who you are and what brings you joy. And it's kind of like a workbook. So I think that is somewhat helpful. You don't have to go through it page by page, but that might be helpful to just kind of reflect and about your values, especially while you have the time to do so.
(23:49):
And I'm so sorry by the way that you're going through this and to anybody else who's going through this because it's such a jarring thing. And then the other thing to remember, of course, yeah, is that we have learned, especially in American society too, over associate our work with our worthiness. And we really need to break that link because your work isn't the be all and end all of who you are and how worthy you are and what you can contribute to society and the world and your family for instance. And so you have a really young child right now, you have a toddler and so I think it's pretty awesome that you're going to get to spend so much more time with them, with her this summer. And so cherish that. Remember we only have 4,000 weeks on earth. And see what you can do to return to your values, your core values, and what really makes you happy on a soul level. So much of what we do with work culture is to chase ego-driven things or what we're taught to value. But my advice for Ally is to return to who she really is at the emotional engine or core. So what about you, Dore?
Doree (24:59):
I love this advice. I feel like I have nothing to add. I mean this is like, yes, I agree with everything you said and I'm sorry that this is happening. I hate this late stage capitalist hellhole. Anyway, just one last text we got from someone saying that they highly recommend Julia Turin's cookbooks. I cook from simply Julia and what goes with what all the time. I love that she offers lots of substitutes. Ingredient lists aren't too long and it's all ish. I have simply Julia, I believe, and it is a great cookbook.
Elise (25:36):
Okay.
Doree (25:36):
Highly recommend. Fantastic. Alright everyone, thank you so much, Elise. Great to catch up.
Elise (25:42):
Absolutely. Back at you and listeners, we'll talk to you next
Doree (25:46):
Time. All.