Amelia Chiarenza on Goodbyes and Death Doulas
Death doula Amelia Chiarenza joins the podcast to discuss what exactly a death doula does, how her experience with dying has changed over time, and how to hold the duality of knowing you’re vibrantly alive and also dying. They also talk about her new podcast Cultivate Being (a Tribeca Festival 2026 Official Selection), the value of saying good-bye, and the practical logistics of finding and using a death doula.
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Transcript
The following transcript is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise Hu (00:17):
And I'm Elise Hu, and we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Doree Shafrir (00:21):
And today we have Amelia Chiarenza who is a death doula and she's just had a really fascinating life and it was really cool to talk to her.
Elise Hu (00:31):
Right. She didn't start off as a death doula, as
Doree Shafrir (00:34):
Many
Elise Hu (00:34):
People don't seek it as a career since it's kind of become in vogue only within the last, I don't know, decade or so. But what a lovely conversation we had with her and you'll get to hear it in a little bit.
Doree Shafrir (00:48):
Yeah. So Lis, what's going on?
Elise Hu (00:50):
We have a couple things to mention, right? We have some housekeeping things. The live casual chat, which we're doing on our Patreon is coming up this week. It is on Wednesday on our Patreon page at noon Pacific and 3:00 PM Eastern. So Patreon subscribers, join us there and it's a lovely, lively time in which we can kind of chat and y'all can chat with us at the same time.
Doree Shafrir (01:19):
And if you are a Patreon subscriber and you can't make it, we record it and you can watch it or listen to it later.
Elise Hu (01:27):
Yeah. And so otherwise we're in full summer season. I am doing a lot of just trying to catch up while the kids are at camps and things like that. I am guesting on a few podcasts. I did this nightly podcast recently in which it was a good night sleepy time podcast.
Doree Shafrir (01:49):
Ooh, that's fun.
Elise Hu (01:51):
To which Rob said, "I don't know if you're the right energy for a sleepy time podcast." But they gave me very specific instructions about the vibe they were looking for. They want kind of like college radio, overnight college radio vibe is how they described
Doree Shafrir (02:08):
It. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah.
Elise Hu (02:10):
And it was very lovely. It's for the show that The Hatch Nightlight puts out. So we've talked about alarm clocks and Hatch makes these alarm clocks that you wake up with, but then they also have a bunch of audio programming to go with their devices. And so they have this show called The Nightly where it's just a conversation you should fall asleep to. Great. And success is if they don't remember the back half.
Doree Shafrir (02:39):
That's so funny.
Elise Hu (02:41):
And so I've done that and then I'm working on this limited series that's like this podcast companion to an upcoming PBS docu-series. Oh, cool. And so I just did the first couple of episodes yesterday and it went really well. It went really swimmingly and I'm learning all about science because the correspondent or the host of that is this longtime Nova correspondent. So we talk about solutions to climate change that need to happen at scale like beavers. One of them is the power of beavers to build dams to help deal with drought conditions because when they dam waterways, it creates bigger pools and ponds so that the land becomes more lush and overgrazed areas have more grass for cattle and la la la. So I'm just learning a lot. I guess I suppose I'm doing some summer projects like that. What about you? What's happening?
Doree Shafrir (03:44):
Cool. Don't have any summer projects. You have your
Elise Hu (03:49):
Big
Doree Shafrir (03:50):
Book
Elise Hu (03:50):
Project. That's
Doree Shafrir (03:51):
Legit. I know, I know, but I could use some other summer projects. So if you can't do any of them, send them my way. Yes. I am going into retirement from being a tennis captain and my decision to do so has been reinforced over the last couple days because I've just had the most annoying back and forths about logistics and rescheduling and all this stuff. And I'm like, this is taking up way too much of my time and mental energy and these people are so annoying and I'm just done. You know what I mean? I'm like, I don't need to do this.
Elise Hu (04:36):
No.
Doree Shafrir (04:37):
So I'm glad that I've made that decision and any sort of like, well, maybe I could just keep... I'm like, no. It's just not worth it to me. It sounds like
Elise Hu (04:46):
It. Yeah, not anymore. I mean, it sounds like it really served its purpose. You got a
Doree Shafrir (04:50):
Lot out of being a tennis captain
Elise Hu (04:52):
The last
Doree Shafrir (04:52):
Couple of years. It served its purpose, but I'm feeling burnt out on captaining.
Elise Hu (04:59):
Yeah. Good. Well, thanks
Doree Shafrir (05:02):
For
Elise Hu (05:02):
Doing it for all the time that you did. Well, thanks Luis.
Doree Shafrir (05:04):
I know that your teammates are
Elise Hu (05:05):
Very apreciative.
Doree Shafrir (05:07):
Some of them are. I feel like some of them it's like they, I don't know. Here, I'll put it this way. For people who have been on other teams and had bad captains, I feel very appreciated by those people. Oh,
Elise Hu (05:24):
Okay.
Doree Shafrir (05:24):
Yeah. For people who have never been on any other team, they just think that this is how all captains are. And I have to tell you, this is not how all captains are. And you don't know how good you've had it, so enjoy.
Elise Hu (05:39):
Yes. Have fun with your next one. And we are taping before the episode goes out, of course, but I have no Abe updates. Oh, no. And so I am guessing he... I was talking to my youngian analyst. I have my youngian dream analyst and he was like, "A cat doesn't really get lost. He's an animal. He has kind of an instinct, he has a nature. Animals don't get lost in the same way that humans get lost because they are so primal and instinctual and they just... Abe always knew how to find his way home previously. So it's not like he's lost. So I'm thinking he might've been stolen or another family. You know what I mean? Because it doesn't seem credulous. Doesn't make
Doree Shafrir (06:27):
Sense. Yeah.
Elise Hu (06:30):
I suppose there's the possibility that he was attacked by a coyote, but the other animals, small animals that have been victims of the neighborhood coyotes have been found. Their bodies, parts of their bodies have
Doree Shafrir (06:42):
Been found. And there's no trace of him. Yeah.
Elise Hu (06:44):
Yeah. So it's just very bizarre. And I hate that we have to live with the mystery, but that's how we're having to cope right now. And I'm going to have the girls. We should do some sort of ritual because Abe is a member of our family. And a really key one, he's been with us since before COVID, so he has been with us through a lot of the girls growing up and during that really difficult time, that crucible that we were all in called COVID. So I'm going to have the girls, maybe we're all going to have to sit around and do a circle time and memorialize Abe and light a candle for him or something because I do think he's out there and I do think he's alive. I feel that strong sense too, but he hasn't come home, so we're just going to have to be in the mystery.
Doree Shafrir (07:37):
The not knowing is like -
Elise Hu (07:40):
It's really tough,
Doree Shafrir (07:41):
Really tough.
Elise Hu (07:42):
I'm glad I had that session with my youngian though. It
Doree Shafrir (07:45):
Really helped
Elise Hu (07:46):
Me, I though. And it really sort of settled a lot of my nerves. And he's like, the tough part of being human and the human experience is that we have to live in these polarities of knowing and not knowing a lot in this liminal place and you just got to find some peace there and sit in it. So I'm trying.
Doree Shafrir (08:06):
Well, I hope that even if you don't find answers, you find some closure.
Elise Hu (08:11):
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
Doree Shafrir (08:15):
Well, let's introduce our guest.
Elise Hu (08:19):
All right.
Doree Shafrir (08:20):
Amelia has had a true Renaissance career. It has spanned radio, NCAA division one coaching, technology development and aerospace. And now she spends her time as a coach and advisor, podcast host, death doula, kinesiologist, and cottage baker. She believes in the power of humanity and the ability of stories to strengthen bonds. And she aims to share personal stories so her readers can find tangible connections to their own. And her new podcast Cultivate Being is a Tribeca Festival 2026 official selection. I've wanted to talk to a death doula for a long time, so it's pretty interesting. Before we get to Amelia, just a reminder that you can call or text us at 781-591-0390 and email us at forever35podcast@gmail.com. You can visit our website, forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mention on the show. We are on Instagram @forever35podcast. Our Patreon is at patreon.com/forever35, and we have multiple tiers with lots of fun benefits.
(09:28):
And we do have our live casual chat coming up this Wednesday as Elise mentioned at 12:00 PM Pacific, 3:0 PM Eastern. So if you are a Patreon supporter at any paid level, you get access to that. And you can shop our favorite products at shamai.us/forever35. And we're going to take a short break and we'll be right back.
Elise Hu (09:50):
We'll be right back.
Doree Shafrir (09:58):
Amelia, welcome to Forever 35. We are so delighted to have you here on the show.
Amelia Chiarenza (10:04):
Thank you so much. I am very excited to be here with you today, so I appreciate the warm welcome.
Doree Shafrir (10:10):
Yeah. We start off all of our conversations with our guests with the same question, which is what is something you're doing right now for self-care?
Amelia Chiarenza (10:21):
Yes. It's really a series of things that I'm doing and I'll share with you a little bit. I'll give you a window into my morning. So I start off with a cup of hot water with fresh ginger and fresh lemon. And then what I proceed to do is play with my dog, my dog Louie. And it's getting on the floor with him and whether it's doing drills or tricks with him or snuggling, having that presence of play and connection with him. And then it also gives me the eye contact. It gives me that oxytocin release. I love that. I'm very passionate about movement. So I do a series of meditative movements. So it takes some, whether it's 12 minutes to 20 minutes of some breath work and meditation with movement, which is really my own kind of combination of things I've learned having been in physical therapy and having been an athlete and just taking that time to warm up my body.
Elise Hu (11:31):
Are there any sort of MVP moves just because you are a former athlete and a former coach, and we'll get into that more in a bit, but are there any MVP moves that you do in a hotel room that you feel like, okay, this is when I wake up and I'm traveling and I'm creaky, these are the two or three moves or stretches that should be done?
Amelia Chiarenza (11:52):
Yes, absolutely. I would say that I have personally curated these. One is bird dog. If you've ever heard of bird dog, there's nothing like putting a hotel towel on the floor and you're in a cramped space. But if you can find enough room and it's where it's really working on checking into stabilizing your core and you stabilize your core with a flat back and then you stretch one leg out and then the opposite arm. So if you stretch your left leg out, you stretch your right arm out and you hold, but you of course have to make sure that you've got that structure and hold of your core and then you alternate. And I typically do that a few times on each side so that I would say that's one of my MVP moves that I'm happy to share with you and with folks. I
Elise Hu (12:38):
Don't like doing that at all. I'm always like, "Oh wow, I'm
Doree Shafrir (12:42):
Unstable."
Elise Hu (12:44):
Thank you for sharing that. And part of the reason I ask is because you have some expertise, your career has really spanned all sorts of spheres. Can you tell us and the listeners how you went from athlete and college coach to then working at Boeing and then to now becoming obsessed with death?
Amelia Chiarenza (13:03):
The thing I think I distill it down is I'm a person who is willing to take risk. I consider myself a thoughtful risk taker. And I think that's kind of been a common thread through my experiences and the transitions and pivots that I've made. I think that's also combined with an openness. I consider myself a lifelong learner and I want to be open to new experiences. And so I had an athletic career that I loved. I was a rower, so women's rowing, and I was very passionate about making boats go fast as an athlete. And I loved the sense of high performance combined with a sport that's very physics oriented and has a lot of different amazing elements to it and obviously the sense of being on the water. And through various mentorships and passion for the sport, became a coach, had the good fortune of becoming a coach for a couple different colleges and universities.
(14:16):
And I loved developing athletes, student athletes. And so I did that. And then it really was different risk-taking and just noticing what was happening with me at a certain point in time. Was there an opportunity that came across my doorstep and being willing to say yes. And that's kind of how I ended up transitioning more into business. I had been living in San Diego, California, gorgeous spot, and an opportunity that took me across the country to the Washington DC area to jump into aerospace. And at the time I started that because I really thought it was going to be an 18-month contract. And that turned into a near 15-year career with a variety of experiences across all different types of technology domains and getting to work human space flight and satellites and world traveling. My life completely shifted with the ground collapsing when my mother became suddenly sick and died eight weeks later.
(15:29):
And then four months later, my best friend died. And during that time, my dad was dying. And it just was a shifting of land beneath me and ground beneath me that I think pushed me and rocked me and really took me in a new direction. And that's a bit of what I talk about in Cultivate Being and the podcast is listening to some of the cravings and the needs that I felt were forming inside of me around I want to understand this more. I want to share these experiences with people and I want to look at what a new narrative of death was. It was just this deep, deep sense of craving of connectedness to humanity. It's very different from informed by my prior experiences, but very different from those experiences. So a very long-winded way of answering your question.
Doree Shafrir (16:27):
Can I just jump in and ask, what was your experience of death or sort of your, I don't know, impression of death before all of this death happened around you? How did that change?
Amelia Chiarenza (16:42):
It became intimate. It
Doree Shafrir (16:45):
Became
Amelia Chiarenza (16:46):
Almost just part of my being. And I say that because I think about if you had asked me that question several years ago, what would my answer have been? And I think it would've been as informed as I could have been, a whole new sight line opened up for me around that type of intimacy and what that emotional space that opens up in terms of honoring who I am in those moments and seeing all the idiosyncrasies and the details and the specificity of it. I think I would say I wasn't ignoring death, but I certainly wasn't carrying it as something present in my daily life and that's shifted.
Elise Hu (17:38):
Yeah. So that's the next question, which is how do you feel like you have shifted the most or in what areas has your outlook really changed given your experiences with loss one, but also given your exploration and obsession and now your focus on death as a death doula?
Amelia Chiarenza (18:01):
I would say that it's present for me always in that I think I'm somebody that could save through the transitions of my life. I'm someone who walks and understands practicing gratitude and understanding presence and those kinds of things. Now though, it is as if I'm operating on a completely different frequency. So all of those things are expanded and brighter and sharper. And so I really carry it differently in the sense that I think about my mortality. I think about my death and I contemplate it obviously and I help others to do that. I'm passionate about helping others do that as well, not from a distance though and thinking about it with every little element or thing that I do. I think it's one thing to say, oh, well, I think about my mortality. It's another to say, well, I think about my mortality because right in this moment I'm thinking about how does my body feel and what would my body feel once it goes into an active transitioning phase?
(19:13):
And I wonder what that looks like. What
Elise Hu (19:15):
Exactly does a death doula do?
Amelia Chiarenza (19:18):
A death doula does a variety of things. A death doula serves in the capacity for a person who is dying and/or contemplating their mortality. A death doula can also serve in the capacity of support to those surrounding a person who may be contemplating their mortality or their death
(19:40):
And different terms that can be associated with it around advocacy. Serving as an advocate to help understand what resources are available, how to integrate information that might be coming in from the medical community or physicians or social work information and resources. It's someone who can journey alongside a person as they are dying and as they contemplate or think about their death or even how they want to die. This is a resource, a person who can be there as a guide, as a journey person, as someone to be alongside and help honor someone and bring to the forefront what that person's needs, wants, desires might be. And it could happen so much earlier. And so I got really passionate about the concept of serving and helping people who maybe they've received a diagnosis and they're not sure how to take that information in or all the information about treatment and care that they may get without maybe understanding their other resources.
(21:03):
And that could be someone who is, maybe it's not a life-threatening disease, but it certainly changes their life and it might change how they walk through their life and how they walk through their death. So it's someone who can be there as that support.
Elise Hu (21:19):
Is it a luxury to get one though right now practically? I see and hear such need for death doulas in the same way we want to have more support at the beginning of life with birth doulas, but how practically attainable is this?
Amelia Chiarenza (21:36):
I love that you asked that question because that's a huge challenge, particularly in our environment and our society. I think where people mostly, if they've heard of it or if they've seen it, it will reside in hospice care. So sometimes hospice organizations will have someone who's trained as a doula on their staff. Typically what happens in those situations is the doula is, it's really for the final stage of the active dying process. But your question gets at the heart of what I think is really important, which is accessibility.
(22:12):
And it's true. It's not something that most insurance companies or insurance carriers are going to cover or provide. And so that's a big challenge and different ways of overcoming those challenges are in what pockets are there donation available for people who want to have this service available for someone? And then a lot of it, it has to be through private pay, but a lot of people may make choices about their care and their quality of life and what they're looking at by going an alternative route. You're absolutely right. I think there are some big hurdles around insurance just because of the systems we have, particularly here in the US.
Doree Shafrir (23:04):
Is this something where the death doula works primarily with the person who is dying or that person's loved ones or a combination?
Amelia Chiarenza (23:15):
It can be a combination. Typically, that's something that is very well-defined upfront, which is really important. And I believe that's very important. Just like anything, it's important to know, well, who or what are you absolutely serving? In most cases, Doree, you're right, it is the person who is facing their death or contemplating that. But it is important to know in what role, in what capacity. I'm someone who believes in the practice of, because I'm also a coach and advisor, that I can curate something for a family member or family members because there's so much that goes around a person and their own personal journey towards death and dying.
Doree Shafrir (24:06):
And is this something you do on Zoom in person?Practically speaking, how does this work?
Amelia Chiarenza (24:14):
Practically. So I believe in doing it in a variety of ways. Sometimes I like to think of it as everyday doula because every day we're dying. Your earlier question, Elise, about how does it show up for me? Because I think I really have done work to think about and be present with this concept of I can be living and I can be thriving and I am dying at the same time. And for me, that brings comfort in just contemplating for myself.
Doree Shafrir (24:46):
And
Amelia Chiarenza (24:46):
So the practicality of it is if I'm meeting with someone and they're trying to think through what are, they're on the early side, what are my options? I don't know what outlets or questions that I can ask of whether it's a care facility or a medical facility or caretaking. If it's distilling those kinds of things, those can be very much remote. I think a lot of people wouldn't think of that as doula work, but it can be doula work. Some of the work I do can be around visioning and guided meditations and that can bring a lot to the forefront. I love having the creative aspects to it. That can be done remotely. Then there's also a lot of it in person, of course. I'm in South Dakota right now. I spend a lot of time also outside Washington DC in Virginia. And so depending on where people are and where they are with their journey, I always say, let's figure out what the solution can be.
(25:48):
So a lot of times it can be a variety. It's just highly dependent on what's specifically going on for a person and where are they located and what's happening for them.
Doree Shafrir (25:59):
So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back.
Elise Hu (26:10):
Well, now I want to just broaden it out and ask you what kind of insight you've gleaned or lessons you've learned about living after spending and being with people as they've died.
Amelia Chiarenza (26:24):
The first thing that comes to mind is the value in saying goodbye and the value in having that moment. And when I say saying goodbye, it doesn't need to be verbal. It can be something that is acknowledged in another way, but I think there's something really beautiful and critical about those moments of goodbye. I'll give you an example. There was a gentleman who was nearing the end of his life and I was visiting him and one of the most beautiful moments was the moment where I said goodbye to him and he said goodbye to me. And I'm showing up as a practitioner and I also carry the emotion of that. And I think that as something I would name as I've learned that. I've learned how beautiful and valuable that can be and how that can show up for others. I think a lot of times because rightfully so, we have so many fears and complex emotions around goodbyes and death in particular that those moments can be overshadowed or there can be a hesitation or a not knowing because there's so much unknown and fear that the taking a step of, I'm going to take this to say goodbye,
(27:54):
It's really powerful. And I think it can bring a lot of, I've seen it bring a lot of comfort to a person and even family members who might be present. So for that, that's one example
(28:09):
Of something that I've learned. And then there's a whole host of other things. You both so wonderfully talk about self-care, but really the critical role of self-care, self-care and how can that show up for the people that you're serving? And then how does it show up for me? What do I need to make sure when I'm either going through an exercise with a person or getting prepared to go visit with someone or stepping into their space because it's not about me, it's about being very present for them and what they need in their space. And so that element of the self-care aspect before, during and after is critical. And I've learned that. I've really learned that.
Doree Shafrir (28:59):
I want to talk about your podcast.
Amelia Chiarenza (29:03):
Please, thank
Doree Shafrir (29:03):
You. Cultivate Being. I loved the first episode. I was telling you before we started recording, it was so moving and also just so well done. Tell us a little bit about how this podcast came about and what you are trying to communicate to people with it.
Amelia Chiarenza (29:21):
Sure, absolutely. Firstly, thank you so much for listening. I am absolutely thrilled to have this out there in the world for listeners and I'm grateful for every set of ears or ear that I get for it. So Cultivate being the concept of Cultivate being of what I've worked to create is this ecosystem. And the podcast in particular was born out of my own despair. It really was born out of the... I talk about in the first episode, the impossibility of it all. And And it was born out of the rawness and the realness of what I was feeling and not really being able to articulate what I was feeling. And it was this craving of knowing, being really convinced at a core place of myself that there is something here. I feel so alone and I don't want other people to feel so alone. And I have this craving to have connectedness and be a part of humanity and share this with others because by golly, this is going to help me live a better life.
(30:44):
I believe that this is completely connected to how we can thrive and appreciating a new narrative of death. And so that's how it was born. And then there's the practical aspects of it that had to come together. And I collaborate with the phenomenal Theo Balkam who does the audio production and she's been just so wonderful as we create this podcast and bring it into form. It's just about providing lenses through the details of my own journey. And then also it being, I really wanted it to be welcoming people into my quest of saying, look, this is a mystery. Death is a mystery and I think there's goodness to that. I think it's good that it's a mystery. I don't want to know, but I want to get really, really close and I want to try to understand and I want all these details and nuances and things that show up that were unexpected and unforeseen for me.
(31:52):
I want to share that with other people and provide a perspective and hopefully bring perspective and imagination to others through that.
Elise Hu (32:00):
Draw that link for us about how an appreciation or deeper understanding of death can really lead to thriving.
Amelia Chiarenza (32:08):
It leads to thriving because there is a vast open... It's like a giant jar gets opened from an emotional standpoint and from a navigating life standpoint to even just the details of thinking through, well, am I going to take this trip or am I going to take this job or do this? It really helps think about, okay, how are we caring for each other? How are we caring for ourselves? How are we moving through the world? What are the decisions that every little decision that we make, how does that bring us closer to a brighter world and a brighter way of being? And when we can start to acknowledge and appreciate the fear and the despair and the things that are really uncomfortable and difficult and hard to face and hard to think through, if we start to peel those a bit and pick away at them and really take moments to consider, well, what are the other things showing up?
(33:24):
And what are those other things in my bucket of life? It adds to the tapestry. It adds color to the tapestry.
Elise Hu (33:33):
Is there anything that stands out to you or themes that have emerged from people at the end of their lives just before they've crossed over either it's regrets or gratitudes that they've had that could be helpful for us as we each every day we're living, we're one day closer to dying.
Amelia Chiarenza (33:54):
One day closer to dying. And I don't say that lightly. I mean we have to -
Elise Hu (34:01):
Oh, I'm very aware that I'm a decaying meat sack. Every morning I wake up, there's a new
Amelia Chiarenza (34:08):
Pain. Well, a new creek or a new something.
(34:14):
One thing that I learned in my training, and I think I've seen it with some people that I've worked with and talked to is there's I think a natural reflection. It shows up differently for everyone. And that's a lot of what part of working in this space is, is honoring that uniqueness, those unique qualities. I like to talk to people about the universality and the unique qualities of it, but some of those threads are reflection, story. You mentioned regret that can certainly show up for a lot of people wanting to make... We see it and we hear it about making amends. I sort of put those in that thread that I hear and see around reflecting through life, through story, highs and lows and distilling what's really, really important, what's purposeful. I'm excited about this next conversation that's going to come out in the podcast because I talked to a hospice nurse and that distilling, people distilling and getting to a place of what they really, really want and what they really, really need and being highly, highly in that moment and being able to know that and articulate that.
(35:38):
I think those are some of the threads.
Doree Shafrir (35:42):
Before we wrap, I do just want to ask you another sort of practical question for people who might be contemplating accessing a death doula, which is how does one go about finding somebody and how do you know when you've found the right person?
Amelia Chiarenza (36:01):
So the way I would love to help people and answer that is there are a number of different ways. I think the first step is knowing that it's a resource that is out there and available. So things like being here and talking to you is great because that helps make people aware. People can certainly find me through my website, cultivatebeing.com. There are also organizations. So I am part of the International End of Life Doula Association. And those organizations and that organization in particular, it's wonderful because it's international. They have a directory. So anyone can go to the International End of Life Doula Association website and go to the doula directory and you can search. You can search by name, you can search by location. So you can put in for the US, you can put a state, zip code, that kind of thing. And you can find and read about doulas who are registered there.
(37:01):
Another route that is quite helpful is of course, just like anything in our lives and in our world is asking around. You can pick up the phone and call the hospital, even try the local library. There are places in our communities that you could call and you can ask and get support for understanding where is this resource located and how could I get connected?
Doree Shafrir (37:25):
Amelia, where can our listeners find you and find your podcast?
Amelia Chiarenza (37:30):
Well, Cultivate Being podcast is on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. So listeners can go to those, search Cultivate Being. The show will come up. I have my website cultivatebeing, one word.com, cultivatebeing.com. Folks can check out all the things that I'm doing and even get access to the podcast there.
Elise Hu (37:51):
Fantastic. Amazing. Amelia, thank you for coming on. Thank you so much.
Amelia Chiarenza (37:54):
Thank you for having me. Loved talking with you.
Doree Shafrir (38:01):
Okay.
Elise Hu (38:03):
Thank you, Amelia.
Doree Shafrir (38:04):
Yeah. Thank you, Amelia. She was another one of those calming presences.
Elise Hu (38:09):
All
Doree Shafrir (38:09):
Right. Well, getting into the intention zone. Elise, last week you said you were going to get to do some cardio.
Elise Hu (38:21):
I've been trying. I've been trying because even though I do a lot, it's my Google Health tracker or whatever is saying that it's only getting me up to 25% or then now I'm up to 47% on the week. So I have to do a lot more than I thought.
Doree Shafrir (38:38):
Oh, wow. That's so interesting.
Elise Hu (38:40):
Because I took that hour-long trampoline class and I got 10% of what they want me to get for weekly
Doree Shafrir (38:45):
Cardio. Are you sure this is calibrated correctly?
Elise Hu (38:48):
And then I ran two miles and it got me another 17% and I got 27% on the week. And so now I'm really having to...
Doree Shafrir (38:57):
So how much cardio really do you have to do? How many hours a week?
Elise Hu (39:04):
Okay, well, I'm getting 10%. I got up to 30% after about an hour and 45 minutes.
Doree Shafrir (39:14):
So it's time, but your heart rate is at a certain threshold? Yeah,
Elise Hu (39:19):
It's not just duration. So it's duration and then heart rate threshold. And my resting heart rate is quite low. It's in the low 50s on
Doree Shafrir (39:28):
Average.
Elise Hu (39:29):
And so I think just to get me up into the... When I'm sleeping, I'm functionally dead. I'm in the 40s.
Doree Shafrir (39:36):
But that's good. That means that you're in good shape if you have a low resting heart rate, doesn't
Elise Hu (39:40):
It? Yeah. They said that back then when we learned about Lance Armstrong and he was cool. They were like, "Oh, his resting heart rate is in the 30s or something like that. I don't know, I guess, but I'm not doing enough cardio clearly. So still working on that. But my intention for this week is actually going to be kind of the opposite, which is to sleep max or to try sleep maxing. I'm sleeping so much more because I get an hour more each day due to not having zero hour. So now I'm just like, I'm going for the nine and a half hours. Let's go for the nine and a half hours each night. Let's see if we can do it.
Doree Shafrir (40:18):
Oh my gosh.
Elise Hu (40:19):
That'll be my intention. What about you? Let's revisit.
Doree Shafrir (40:24):
Yeah. My intention was to get into a good writing groove and I feel like I'm in a good writing groove. And then I do have some travel coming up. So getting ready for travel is always a little bit stressful, so I'm trying to just stay calm, stay chill, remind myself that I am going to major metropolitan areas. If I forget something, it's not the end of the world. Yeah. So yeah, one time, I think it was one time we went to San Diego or we went to Carlsbad, which is close to San Diego, and I forgot to pack shirts. I had no shirts with me, but I was like, "Oh, we're in a densely populated area. I can just go to Target and get some shirts." It was annoying, but it wasn't the end of the world. So trying to just keep that in perspective, stay zen.
(41:21):
Yes. And not stress too much about Henry. It's tough, but I will persevere.
Elise Hu (41:29):
We're intending it. We're intending it.
Doree Shafrir (41:31):
We are intending it. We're manifesting it. We're putting it out into the universe. Thanks everyone for listening. Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Doree Shafrir, Elise Hu, and produced and edited by Samee Junio. Sami Reed is our project manager and our network partner is Acast. Thanks everybody.
Elise Hu (41:50):
Talk to you next time. Thanks