Mini-Ep 484: When Your Vitamin C Serum Smells Like Soy Sauce
Doree and Elise hear from listeners about their shampoo bar recs, what to do when your soft pants start to pill, and when to replace your Vitamin C serum. They also take on a tough existential question, so stick around.
Mentioned in this Episode
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise Hu (00:16):
And I'm Elise Hu, and we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Doree Shafrir (00:20):
And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember, we are podcast hosts. We are not experts. And we do always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and/or mental health professional as needed.
Elise Hu (00:36):
I just went on mute because I have this nagging cough. I'm not really sure what it's about, but it's really bad at night when I'm sleeping.
Doree Shafrir (00:45):
Oh no.
Elise Hu (00:45):
And so now Rob won't sleep with me in the same bed. He was like, "This is reasonable because you are not sleeping at all at night because I'm coughing all night." And he's like, "And then I'm not sleeping at all at night." And so I don't know, I have an air purifier going. So if it's an indoor air situation, I think that it's pretty clean. It could just be that spring has sprung and there's a bunch of pollen or whatever that's being blown around. But most of the time I'm okay talking during the day. I talk all day, as you know, for a living. But then at night when my head goes back on the pillow, I'm just like crazy coughing fits. That sucks. I don't know if I need to go get that checked out or it's going to go away on its own.
(01:33):
Hopefully not. Or hopefully it will go away on its own, but yeah.
Doree Shafrir (01:37):
Oh man, I'm sorry.
Elise Hu (01:39):
Yeah. It's a bummer. How are you doing?
Doree Shafrir (01:44):
I'm pretty good. Just getting stuff done and yeah, cleaning out, starting to clean out my office. I sent you before and after.
Elise Hu (01:57):
Yes. You're making progress with your office.
Doree Shafrir (02:00):
So Matt had an idea, which was to divide the office into six zones. That's so
Elise Hu (02:11):
Cute. That's
Doree Shafrir (02:12):
So fun. And every day we would tackle a zone. So we started yesterday and it was so funny. He goes, "Wow, that took us less than 45 minutes." And I was like, "Yep." And it was there for like four years. But I mean, I think that is the thing with all these things that just build up- We put off. Yes. Sometimes it's physical things that you're looking at, like a messy office and sometimes it's like some admin-
Elise Hu (02:49):
Calling a friend.
Doree Shafrir (02:50):
Calling someone. Yeah, exactly. That you've just been putting off and putting off and then you actually finally do it and it's like no big deal.
Elise Hu (02:57):
Yeah.
Doree Shafrir (02:57):
And I know that on an intellectual rational level, but on a lizard brain level, it's not there.
Elise Hu (03:06):
That's what gets us. That's what gets us. That's
Doree Shafrir (03:08):
What gets us. Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, God damn it.
Elise Hu (03:13):
It would have only taken 45 minutes all along.
Doree Shafrir (03:15):
Yeah, exactly. It just seemed like, oh my God, it seems so daunting. I think also his idea of breaking it into pieces was smart because it was like I would look around and be like, "Oh, where do I start?" The whole thing just felt so overwhelming. And we've managed to keep the front of the house pretty clean.
Elise Hu (03:38):
Great. Awesome. Yeah. You're ready to host your next monthly play date.
Doree Shafrir (03:44):
Yeah, exactly.
Elise Hu (03:45):
If you want.
Doree Shafrir (03:45):
If we want.
Elise Hu (03:46):
If you want.
Doree Shafrir (03:47):
Yeah. What else is going on with you?
Elise Hu (03:51):
I'm getting ready to travel a bit. I'm going to St. Louis, the city of my birth. What up, STL? What up 314 area code? I'm going there end of next week for one of Ava's travel volleyball tournaments. Nice. I was sitting at a scrimmage last night with some other moms and they were talking about St. Louis and what food we were going to order. And I was like, "Why are we talking about St. Louis? That's like way off in the future." And they were like, "Elise, it's next Thursday."
Doree Shafrir (04:19):
Oh my God.
Elise Hu (04:22):
I don't know. Everything's so abstract to me. I just try and get through each day and yeah, apparently it's next week. So hopefully I'm ready for that. It'll be fun. I don't really like Ava missing school because- Yeah, that's hard. A lot happens in the school day now. Yes. There's a lot of assignments and I'm not sure that she's going to be all on top of it. So I'm trying to be a trusting teen parent and just be like, "You know best, you got this. " Because that's what they need. They need the independence. And so I'm just going to be like, "I trust you've got it. " And so I'm trying to do that and hope that she is on top of it. I do notice that she writes on her hands a lot, like little reminders.
Doree Shafrir (05:06):
Oh, that's
Elise Hu (05:06):
Interesting. So that reminds me of myself when I was a kid because I'd be like, "Oh yeah, I got to go return that to the library or put that in my locker." So it was funny because when she does slates for auditions, you have to say like, "Hey, I'm Ava Blythe. I'm from Los Angeles. I'm five nine." And then you show the fronts and backs of your hands. And so when I was like waiting for her to hold up the fronts and backs of her hands, I looked at the back of her hands and it had like phone numbers on it and it had
Doree Shafrir (05:38):
... Oh, that's so funny.
Elise Hu (05:39):
Go wash your hand.
Doree Shafrir (05:40):
Wait, why do they have to hold up their hands?
Elise Hu (05:43):
Often because say it's a Lunchables commercial and they have to pick up a- Oh,
Doree Shafrir (05:49):
I see. I
Elise Hu (05:49):
See. Okay. Pick up a piece of cheese out of it. So they need closer up shots of their hands, so they just want to make sure they don't get any surprises. Oh, that's so
Doree Shafrir (05:57):
Funny.
Elise Hu (05:58):
Yeah. It's not because of hand modeling or anything.
Doree Shafrir (06:00):
Yeah. Or I was like, is there some sort of like, we want to make sure you're not AI and looking at your hands will tell
Elise Hu (06:09):
Us. Right, right, right. Yeah, that will tell. That will be the tell.
Doree Shafrir (06:11):
That makes sense. Yeah.
Elise Hu (06:13):
Wow.
Doree Shafrir (06:14):
All these little
Elise Hu (06:14):
Details
Doree Shafrir (06:15):
That you would never know.
Elise Hu (06:16):
That's how I know she's written on them. And anyway, so we are going to go. We're going to go to St. Louis and probably not spend any time getting to see St. Louis. I'll probably spend three days in a volleyball gym, but that's all right. This is my lot in life. This is what we have elected for this year. And then my ex- husband, we're like, let's have a very reasoned discussion as a family before we do this next year. Do we want to do this?
Doree Shafrir (06:43):
Right.
Elise Hu (06:43):
Is this how we want to spend our time and money? How much does Ava want to do this? So anyway, St. Louis is coming up. And then after St. Louis, I think it's Vancouver. I get to go to the very last TED conference in Vancouver. We are moving out of Canada, which I actually think is poorly timed because it's difficult for a lot of the speakers to get visas into the United States in this environment. So it might be better to keep it- Oh, that's
Doree Shafrir (07:11):
Interesting.
Elise Hu (07:12):
... in Canada, actually. But that decision is way, way, way, way, way above my pay grade.
Doree Shafrir (07:18):
Right. Interesting. Interesting. Well, Elise, we actually got a couple of messages that I want to read before we take a break.
Elise Hu (07:26):
Okay, great.
Doree Shafrir (07:28):
Last mini episode, I think it was the last one. Someone was asking about shampoo bars.
Elise Hu (07:33):
Yeah. Yeah, I remember.
Doree Shafrir (07:35):
And a listener texted us and said, "Shampoo bar user here. I use the ethic curly bar. I'm also trying to use less plastic and my rule of thumb is something that is supposed to be sudsy, as good as a bar, but if it's supposed to be a lotion/creamy, I don't like a bar." Oh, that's interesting. Maybe I haven't found the right one, but I went back to regular conditioner. I get a big bottle, so I don't buy it as often and also use it as shaving cream. Per Doree's suggestion, I also use more conditioner than I used to, and I think that helps too. Maybe we were all just under conditioning.
Elise Hu (08:15):
Under conditioning?
Doree Shafrir (08:16):
I don't know, but it's interesting that a lot ... And also hair texture does change. So maybe as we go into our 40s and perimenopause, it's like, "Oh, we need more conditioner now." Just a thought. I don't know.
Elise Hu (08:31):
Maybe. Okay.
Doree Shafrir (08:32):
Next text we got, we will put all of these links on the website because this listener sent a few links with recommendations, but they said in terms of sweatsuits pilling, why not get a sweater shaver? I love mine and it makes everything look great. And they link to the one that they use. They also have a shampoo bar recommendation. I love when a listener has multiple recommendations. And their shampoo bar is from a company called Kitch. Oh,
Elise Hu (09:03):
Cute.
Doree Shafrir (09:04):
And it is a rosemary and biotin shampoo bar. It looks pretty cool, actually. It's like in the shape of a S. This is interesting. It says the one that they use, it says it's for fine limp and delicate hair.
Elise Hu (09:18):
Okay.
Doree Shafrir (09:20):
I might try that. Or try a variety pack from Ethiek, which is the brand the previous listener recommended.
Elise Hu (09:26):
Yes.
Doree Shafrir (09:27):
And it looks like they have shampoo bars in different varieties. So one is for dry hair, one is for all hair types, one is for curly hair, one is for oily hair. So wow, shampoo bars have come a long way. I've not looked into shampoo bars in a very long time. And they also say, "I don't love a bar conditioner."
Elise Hu (09:49):
Okay.
Doree Shafrir (09:50):
The people
Elise Hu (09:51):
Have spoken. I'm sensing a trend here.
Doree Shafrir (09:55):
Wow. Okay. That is very interesting. All right. We are going to take a short break. Before we do that, just a reminder that you can call or text us with your shampoo bar recommendations, your sweatsuit, pilling suggestions, or really anything else at 781-591-0390. You can also email us at forever35podcast@gmail.com. You can also email us a voice memo. We love getting those. Visit our website, forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show. We are also on Instagram at Foreber35 podcast. Our favorite products are also at shopmy.us/forever35. And just a reminder that our Patreon is at patreon.com/forever35. We have a free tier where you just get our newsletter, which comes out every couple of weeks that also has recommendations and other fun stuff. And then we have a $5 tier and a $10 tier. At the $5 tier, you get our casual chats, our monthly pop culture recommendation episodes, plus the newsletter and the chat on the Patreon app about pop culture.
(10:57):
And then for $10 a month, you also get ad free episodes and a shout out on the podcast each and every month. Oh, and I should also mention our casual chats are now on video. So if you are someone who enjoys watching video podcasts, you can do that through our Patreon. All right. After the break, we have a listener voicemail who also addresses several recent mini up topics, including plants
(11:24):
And skincare routines. And they also give your
Elise Hu (11:26):
Book
Doree Shafrir (11:26):
A shout out, just a little preview. And then we have a big existential question from a listener, so we will be
Elise Hu (11:36):
Right back. Okay. We'll be right back.
Doree Shafrir (11:45):
Okay, we are back. And I will play this voice memo.
Listener Voicemail (11:50):
Hi, Doree and Elise. I'm calling in response to the most recent mini episode, and I have a couple of reactions and comments and questions. So do with this what you will. First, in response to the listener asking about container plants in Connecticut, two resources I wanted to share. One is an organization called Wild Ones, and they promote native landscapes. I'm not in Connecticut, but it looks like they have a chapter in Connecticut. So I'm familiar with my local chapter and they have a lot of resources. So that could be a really great place to start and they would likely have some ideas for native plants and flowers that would be fun for the kids and pretty and work well in your climate. So that's wild ones. The second is Seed Savers Exchange might not be exactly what you're looking for for the flowers, but just wanted to shout them out.
(12:53):
They promote heirloom seeds, so another neat organization. And then I was so excited to hear from the Caller with Burnout, who was balancing a busy career and motherhood. And I'm actually just really heartened by the response. So I just wanted to say good job to her. And I think it's quite inspiring to have those conversations at work. And then finally, in response to the skincare question from a caller, first, just wanted to say that if folks haven't yet, read Elisa's book, Flawless. I just finished it, and I know Elise, you've kind of referenced some of the ideas from that book in your time on the podcast, but I got a ton out of your book and think it's just incredible, the perspective, the context that you share, kind of how you set it all up and where Korean beauty fits into kind of larger sociopolitical context and sort of what it means for where the beauty industry is heading.
(14:05):
I found it really eye-opening and the 10 step routine that you mentioned on the podcast, you talk about in your book. So just shouting that out and plugging your book, Elise. And I thought I would share my skincare routine. So I have been doing morning and night cleansing with Biosense squalane plus amino allo gentle cleanser, and then doing vitamin C, CERAV, skin renewing vitamin C serum. And in the morning, I will put on a tinted moisturizer with SPF. It's Bare Minimals Complexion Rescue, Broad Spectrum SPF30. It's a mineral sunscreen moisturizer. And in the night, instead of doing that, I will put on either CeraVe moisturizing cream or Kosarx advanced nail 92 all- in-one cream. So that's mine trying to do this kind of simple cleanse, treat, protect that you said, Elise. So I really like that framing. Okay, but here's my question. My CeraVe vitamin C is old.
(15:07):
I don't know how old. And it is brown and it smells like soy sauce. So on the packaging, it says, "Formula may still experience a change in color over time, but will remain effective, but the internet thinks it's no good anymore." So I'm asking you, what do you think? Is this still use it or is it time to replace it? And then my second question is the Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue, tinted moisturizer. Do you think SPF30 is enough?
Elise Hu (15:38):
Well, first of all, thank you so much. Thank you for reading the book and seeing it and experiencing it how I intended. So that's awesome. I also like KosRx products. I like their snail mucin stuff too. I think we've talked about it as in the past. So yeah, curious how the moisturizer is going to go. I use the snail mucin essence, I think, or the serum. And if the vitamin C has changed so much that it smells like soy sauce, that doesn't sound like it's still-
Doree Shafrir (16:15):
I would toss
Elise Hu (16:15):
It. ... active in the same way. Yeah.
Doree Shafrir (16:19):
I would just toss it.
Elise Hu (16:22):
Also, you don't want to put that smell on your face, do you? No,
Doree Shafrir (16:25):
No, no, no.
Elise Hu (16:27):
It smells so salty.
Doree Shafrir (16:31):
If you're worried about wasting product or wasting money, I totally get that, but I think it's time to toss that vitamin C. And if you want to get a replacement, I think timeless makes a great vitamin C serum and their prices are really reasonable and they're also constantly having sails. So even their regular prices are reasonable and then there's almost always some sort of sale going on. So just FYI. So her other question was about her sunscreen and whether the bare minerals 30 SPF tinted sunscreen was enough. Oh, that's right. I use 30 SPF. I think the thing with sunscreen is that you do have to reapply it. Whether it's 30 SPF or 100 SPF, if you're not reapplying it and you're out in the sun or you're exposed to the sun, then it's not going to be effective 10 hours later. So I think 30 SPF I think is fine, but A, are you using enough of it?
(17:33):
People often don't use enough sunscreen, and then also are you reapplying it? Those would be my two big questions for you. Thank you. Good answer. Good answer. Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay. Another gardening question. I guess it is gardening season.
Elise Hu (17:50):
Yeah, it is.
Doree Shafrir (17:50):
All right. This listener texted us, "Hi, I'm looking for first time gardening advice. I recently bought my first home in Seattle. Congratulations. And there are already a couple garden beds. I'm so overwhelmed by how to even start. Do I need to take out all the soil that's in there and start fresh? What grows well together? What grows best in Seattle, et cetera? Are there any good resources for very beginner gardeners? Of course I could ask AI, but hoping to avoid that.
Elise Hu (18:18):
" Okay. I would say if you already have garden beds, one of the easiest things to grow are herbs. Oh. So you could always just start with some herbs. You could do that in your window even. And like lettuces. Lettuces are very easy. My dad knows what a beginner I am. I'm like a perpetual beginner and a few things. Gardening and tennis and both my dad is very aware of. And he's always like, "Why don't you just keep it to herbs and some lettuces?" Oh, that's so funny. Because you'll get to see the results very quickly. So yeah, we have scallions and basil and rosemary and all those things kind of stay alive. I can't screw those up. But then beyond herbs, I'm curious what sort of plants do really well. We have roses, but you don't need a box for that. So I'm curious what the Forever35 hive mind has to say.
Doree Shafrir (19:17):
Me too.
Elise Hu (19:18):
Oh, and then she also asks about the resources too. So if there's great resources that are not AI, please send your
Doree Shafrir (19:24):
Recommendation. All right. We're going to take another short break and we will be right back. Okay. Next, this is the big existential question I was referring to.
Elise Hu (19:42):
Okay. Here we go.
Doree Shafrir (19:44):
My family has the opportunity to move to another country. My spouse and I have two kids, ages 10 and 11. On paper, it makes sense. Better healthcare, excellent schools, a chance for our kids to grow up learning another language with a broader worldview. Our family has always traveled a lot, and this kind of adventure is something I've kind of daydreamed about for a while now. And I'll admit the idea of affordable healthcare and not worrying about things like school violence is incredibly appealing, but I feel guilty. Our country feels like an increasingly unsafe place, but I feel like I'd be abandoning ship when things get hard. So many people don't have the option to leave and I recognize our privilege, but so many others are choosing to stay and fight for the country they believe in. I'm not even sure if I believe in this country anymore or if there'd be anything left for my kids to inherit, which also makes me incredibly sad.
(20:27):
So guilty and grieving. It's a lot. I go back and forth between feeling very sure this is the right move for us and feeling like we'd be making a huge mistake. Uprooting our lives, selling our house, switching schools, leaving friends, changing jobs would be a long, difficult process, but ultimately worth it if it meant we could have the kind of life we want for our family. I guess I'm wondering whether other listeners have made a similar international move with kids. Did you struggle with the guilt? How did your kids handle it? Do you regret it or was it the best decision you ever made? I think I just need to hear from people who have stood at the same crossroads and can tell me I don't know that it's okay to want something different for your family. Thanks for creating such a thoughtful community where I feel safe asking this.
Elise Hu (21:06):
Oh, I did it. I did it 10 years ago. I don't regret it at all. I think it's the best decision I ever made. I had never even set foot in Seoul, South Korea before. I hadn't had a layover there and just moved my family at that point, a toddler, a 16 year old beagle and two elderly cats to a place I'd never been or visited and didn't speak the language and I was five months pregnant. So I- But other than that- I completely, other than that, it was chill. It was a no-brainer. It was very chill.
(21:41):
But the reason why is we can't know. It's like one of those things where you can't know this experience in the absence of it. You have to actually do it to find out how expansive it can be. And it is true that leaving friends, switching schools, selling your house, changing jobs is difficult and a lot of bureaucracy and tedious. And it was very difficult for us to adjust to a country that was so culturally different and where we did not speak the language. So I couldn't even read street signs. I didn't even know that a sandwich shop was a sandwich shop or a coffee place was a coffee place until I learned to kind of read.
(22:26):
But I have to say, it was so worthwhile for the kids just to normalize so many different kinds of perspectives and different ways to live and to be, I guess, what they call third culture kids, which is it's not the place where you were born and are a citizen, but also you're not of the place where you're living really. So yeah, I think it's completely worthwhile. To your question about how so many others are choosing to stay and fight for the country they believe in, you can still fight for the country that you believe in from abroad. I wasn't any less American when I was abroad. And in fact, I feel like I became more patriotic, and I say that as different from nationalistic. I believe in my country and I love it, and because I love it, I reserve the right to criticize and critique it.
(23:22):
I mean, because that's to me, a show of love, because I believe it can be better. And I felt like getting that perspective abroad and seeing how the rest of the world views America helped me see my home country much more clearly. T.S. Elliot has this great quote, and I remember learning about it in geography class, like in 11th grade or 12th grade about how it's only the people who leave home and return to home who can really see the home very clearly. And I feel that way and I feel like there's a great way to sort of be an American and believe in its values and befriend and make community with other migrant workers abroad. We say ex- patriots and then it's like, wait, what in the US we call them migrant workers, like other expats abroad and kind of think about how to solve for so many of the policy challenges or like social problems in the US by getting a different perspective.
(24:22):
So it is richer in some ways to be able to fight for the country you believe in after seeing a different perspective. So I think that could be really enriching for you. Yeah,
Doree Shafrir (24:33):
I agree.
Elise Hu (24:34):
How did the kids handle it? My kids were younger, my kids were two and then in the womb and then one was born abroad. I think at 10 and 11 are great ages to be ... They're not in those like early teen years where their friendships and getting independence from you are so important to them. So I feel like in elementary school, that might be a really cool time. And then you get to make new friends from across the globe that you can be your friends for life, which is certainly how I feel about so many of my friends from Korea. So I'm interested in hearing what other Americans who have gone abroad have to say, or Canadians who have gone to Australia or if you've left your home country with your family, how you all thought about it, but just answering from our perspective that it is a long, difficult process, but ultimately worth it.
Doree Shafrir (25:27):
I also just want to note that it doesn't necessarily have to be permanent.
Elise Hu (25:32):
Right.
Doree Shafrir (25:33):
You might come back in five years and that's okay.
Elise Hu (25:36):
Yeah.
Doree Shafrir (25:36):
So just want to offer that. All right. Well, thank you so much everyone. Thank you for your questions and we will talk to you soon.
Elise Hu (25:46):
Okay. Talk next time.
Doree Shafrir (25:47):
Bye.