Mini-Ep 478: Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
Doree prepares for her next tennis tournament in the desert and Elise marvels at the people she can meet when she works outside the house. Then, they hear from listeners about snoring solutions, the comfiest comfy pants, and the next “big thing” in life.
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise Hu (00:17):
And I'm Elise Hu and we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Doree Shafrir (00:21):
And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But on that note, please remember, we are not experts. We are podcast hosts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and/or mental health professional as needed.
Elise Hu (00:42):
Speaking of mental health professionals, over the last couple of weeks, we've been talking about one of our listeners who wanted to break up with her mental health professional, her therapist. Yes. And she wrote, just for those of you who've been following, she wrote in our Patreon chat that she did successfully say farewell. Bid ado to said therapist. It happened.
Doree Shafrir (01:09):
It all happened. We're so happy for you, listener. What a journey. What a journey. Elise, what's going on?
Elise Hu (01:17):
I spent the morning at my coworking space, which is why I was a little late to this taping. So I joined that coworking space down in Venice, and it was so much fun. Every once in a while, I liked ... Well, first of all, I'm trying to take advantage of the membership, so I try and go at least once a week. And this week I was going to go anyway because we tape raising us my parenting podcast from the lighthouse that we're coworking space often now. And this morning, I took Rob as my guest because I get guest passes. And this morning we just decided to go and bring Oscar the dog. And Oscar loves it because everyone wants to pet him and give him treats. And he's just like, "This is the best." And then he comes home and he's totally exhausted. But it was funny, today we were standing in the lobby and met two people as we were waiting to go in.
(02:14)
One of them recognized Rob and was like, "I knew you worked with my brother or whatever." And so because Rob's been in the creative community for a long time. And so he saw an old friend that he hadn't seen in 10 years. And then this woman was like, "And what are y'all's names?" And we said hi. It's just a very friendly ethic there. And
(02:35)
This woman, she was like, I don't know how we got onto this. I mentioned that I was making this documentary about the fires and she was like, "I represent an Olympian who went to Pali High, which happens to be one of the schools that burned." Yes. And is a school that one of our kids in the film attends. And I was like, "Really? Do they want to be an EP on a documentary?" And she's like, "Maybe." I mean, that's his school. The fact that this is happening, I have chills. And so anyway, she was really excited about that. And so we followed up. Yeah. So already there have been some connections. So I don't know. I feel like that's my latest update. Kind of excited about that. You never know who you're going to run into when you get out of the house. Is the lesson there?
Doree Shafrir (03:24):
Ain't that the truth?
Elise Hu (03:26):
Maybe I should leave my house sometimes.
Doree Shafrir (03:28):
I mean, you leave your house a lot, to be fair.
Elise Hu (03:31):
But now I sound like a prostitute. Maybe you should leave your house, not at night. Well ... Yeah. Yeah. So that's what's going on. What about you? What's happening? You just trying to live out your intention lately, just keeping it focused?
Doree Shafrir (03:51):
Yeah. Just trying to keep it focused and not stress out too much. I have yet another tennis tournament this weekend because my lower rated team, my 2.5 team got a wild card for sectional. So we didn't win the league. We had the same record as the team that won the league, but we had won fewer games over the course of the season. But we got a wild card, so we're going. And it's kind of fun because pretty much all of us got bumped up to 3.0. So it's like our last hurrah at 2.5. So it'll be fun. I'm only going for one night. It's a shorter tournament than the other one.
Elise Hu (04:41):
Is it also out in the desert?
Doree Shafrir (04:43):
Yes. It is in the same ... They do it in the same place. You're
Elise Hu (04:46):
Going back over there. All right.
Doree Shafrir (04:47):
Yeah, just two weeks later. Last year, they did the following weekend. So I did the first tournament, came back on Sunday, and then I had to go back on Thursday. Wow. Wow. So I'm glad. First of all, they were reversed this year. So I did 30 first and they're two weeks apart, which is nice.
Elise Hu (05:11):
Yes. So you get a little bit of a break.
Doree Shafrir (05:14):
Get a little break. Not that I'm mad about having to drive out to the desert, but it is a long drive.
Elise Hu (05:23):
Maybe you'll pass beautiful Norco, which is halfway out to the desert where I spent last weekend for Luna's tournament. I'm seeing so much of Southern California.
Doree Shafrir (05:34):
I was going to say, you are really getting a grand tour of Southern California. I've definitely driven through Corona. I am not familiar with Norco, California.
Elise Hu (05:49):
It's conveniently only 10 minutes away from Corona, so you probably will drive past it.
Doree Shafrir (05:54):
All right. Well, that's fun.
Elise Hu (05:57):
All the places.
Doree Shafrir (05:58):
Yes.
Elise Hu (05:58):
All the
Doree Shafrir (05:59):
Places. All the fun places. So yeah, just living my best tennis life. Yeah, good. But otherwise, just recording podcasts and trying to get all my other shit done. But do you have any soccer or volleyball tournaments this weekend?
Elise Hu (06:20):
Actually, just Footsol. I have Footsall this weekend. Footsall is like soccer with a smaller ball and usually indoors, right? I think that's the general thing. And there's smaller teams. I think they play like 5v5 instead of like seven V7 or 9B9. So I just have that. It's not really a tournament. I think it's just to keep their skills up in this interim period. I don't know when the actual season starts because there are still some end of season tournaments going on. I'm trying to think if I have anything exciting going on this weekend. Wathering Heights, the movie with Jacob B. Lordy just premiered last night, like the official premiere where all the stars go, because one of our friends works on that or he works for Warner Brothers and he was there with his wife. And I asked if it was ... I asked his wife, I was like, oh my gosh, how was it?
(07:12)
Because I'm so excited about it. Heath Cliff, literature of Weathering Hides the Story, that character that Jacob E. Lurdy plays is like literature's most famous fuck boy. And so I'm so excited to see how Emerald Fettle, the director, who also directed him in Saltburn, how she handles it. And she was like, "It was really great. He's super hot in it, but not enough sex." She's like, "This is marketed as a really sexy film." But she was like, "If you ask me, not enough, not enough." So I'm so excited about that film, but I don't think it comes out officially until Valentine's Day. I believe it's a Valentine's Day release. And so I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend. I don't have any big, exciting plans besides ... I wouldn't call Footsall a big exciting plan.
Doree Shafrir (08:06):
Yeah. Footsall's probably not a big exciting plan with all due respect to footsall.
Elise Hu (08:12):
To foots all, right?
Doree Shafrir (08:13):
Yeah, exactly. Before we take a break, I do just want to read one text that we got from a listener because they had some thoughts about our other listener's snoring issue.
Elise Hu (08:28):
Oh, right. Okay. Let's hear it.
Doree Shafrir (08:30):
So they wrote, "My husband has always snored really loudly, was tested for sleep apnea, but came back negative, just like our listener. He went to see an ENT who found he had a deviated septum and that was causing his snoring to be so bad. He had surgery a few years ago and it's definitely made a big difference. It was not a hundred percent cure. He does still snore, but it's so much lighter/quieter than before. I'm no longer woken up by it in the middle of the night, so I'd say it was a success. The recovery wasn't easy, but in the long run, we both agree it was worth it.
Elise Hu (09:03):
That's great. I had a photographer I worked with who, I guess it was a deviated septum or like such a serious sinus problem that after he got surgery, his voice was totally different. He sounded completely different than he sounded before, and it was probably because he was so stuffed up for the entire time that I knew him.
Doree Shafrir (09:23):
Oh, wow.
Elise Hu (09:24):
So these surgeries can be real game changers.
Doree Shafrir (09:26):
For sure. Yeah. So okay. Worth another possibility for this listener to check out. All right. If you want to reach us, you can call or text us at 781-591-0390. You can email us at forever35podcast@gmail.com. Our website is forever35podcast.com. We have links there to everything we talk about on the show. Our Instagram is Forever35 podcast. Our Patreon is patreon.com/forever35. We have a ton of bonus content on there. Monthly pop culture episodes, casual chats, Forever35 questionnaires, ad free episodes. The list goes on. So that's patreon.com/forever35. And our favorite products are shopmy.us/forever35. All right. We are going to take a short break and when we come back, we have some comfy pant recommendations. Cannot wait. We'll be right back. All right. We are back. And as promised, we have comfy pant recommendations. I mean, the person who wrote in ... So we had two people write in for pant recommendations.
(10:39)
We had one person who was looking for travel pants.
Elise Hu (10:42):
Yes.
Doree Shafrir (10:42):
And then another person who was looking for pants for postpartum, specifically after a C-section. So I do actually feel like there is a lot of overlap in these two pant populations. So perhaps the diagram of
Elise Hu (11:03):
Comfy pants is basically a circle.
Doree Shafrir (11:05):
Exactly. Yes. So perhaps you will find what you were looking for in some of these recommendations. Elise, do you want to take this first one?
Elise Hu (11:16):
Sure. They recommend. This listener recommends the cozy earth bamboo jogger equals my favorite comfy pant travel or lounging at home. So good for travel and good for postpartum. Cozy earth runs lots of sales. So wait until you can get a 25 to 30% off discount code.
Doree Shafrir (11:37):
Okay. Hot tip.
Elise Hu (11:40):
Like that. I like that.
Doree Shafrir (11:41):
I love bamboo just as a material. It's so soft and silky. When Henry was a baby, my favorite PJs for him were bamboo.
Elise Hu (11:52):
Yeah. Yeah. They have swaddle blankets that are really soft in bamboo also. Yeah. Love
Doree Shafrir (11:58):
That. All right.
Elise Hu (12:00):
Okay. Another
Doree Shafrir (12:02):
Wreck. Yes. Another wreck. This one came in via email and they said," I got these athleta pants in black a year ago on sale and they're the retreat linen high rise wide leg pant. "We will link to those. And they say," I had an eight hour flight in December and they were amazing. I feel strongly about not wearing tight circulation restricting pants on planes. These are comfortable and roomy. They have zippered pockets, so you're not at risk to have things like earbuds drop out when sitting on a plane.
Elise Hu (12:35):
"Oh, that's a
Doree Shafrir (12:36):
Problem. That's not a tip. Yes, totally. They have a wide drawstring waistband that is comfortable and they come in petite length for short folks like myself. Thanks. Take care. Ooh, these do look nice. And they come in tall, I will say.
Elise Hu (12:53):
I clicked on that link. I really like the top ones and then the white ones. I have a pair of white ones from Cotton On that I really like. That's a separate recommendation for linen pants, like drawstring linen
Doree Shafrir (13:04):
Pants.
Elise Hu (13:05):
But I really like the ones that are sort of top or tan in this athletic collection.
Doree Shafrir (13:12):
Yeah, these look really nice. I always worry ... I guess it doesn't matter. I'm always like, " Is linen going to get wrinkly? "But I guess again, it doesn't matter.
Elise Hu (13:22):
It's sort of wrinkly by design. That's its natural state.
Doree Shafrir (13:28):
Yes, exactly. I like it. Who cares? Yeah. So they come in regular tall and petite lengths. The regular sizes run from extra, extra small up to three X. And then the tall is extra small to XL and the petite is extra, extra small too large. And they come in a bunch of different colors. All right. Great wrack. These look great. Okay. Do you want to read this next
Elise Hu (14:00):
One? Sure. It's also about travel pants. And the texture writes," Hot tip for travel pants. I own varley and wary sets and swore off all other joggers as not soft or lux enough. "And then a friend tipped me off to a dupe made by Old Navy gasp. They wrote gasp, so I had to do the sound effect, which they call their bounce fleece collection. I was skeptical, but then got a pair and am convinced that the textile engineers/clothes scientists, not sure what they're called, at Old Navy, got something right. Full disclosure downside is they don't have draw strings. So if you survived a middle school era where kids deep pantsed each other, pulled your pants down. These might not be for you. It's so funny. She brings upny. Because the one time my brother, I think he got suspended from school for like three days is because he pantsed some girl in gym class when he was in third grade.
(15:05)
Oh my God. Roger Hugh. Always getting in trouble. Always getting in trouble. Yeah. My mom was beside herself. He thought it was hilarious, I'm sure.
Doree Shafrir (15:19):
These do look cozy. And Old Navy and Athleta are owned by the same company. So these also come in regular, tall and petite. The regular go up to 4x. They do look very cozy. And I will say that the Bounce Fleece sweatshirt looks a lot like the Varley sweatshirt.
Elise Hu (15:41):
It sure does. I mean, okay. To be fair, all quarter zips, all quarter zips and half zips tend to be the same. But yeah, the Varley, it has the big roomy arms and then is sort of cropped in the exact same way this bounce fleece
Doree Shafrir (16:00):
Half thick. Yeah. They really look similar,
Elise Hu (16:04):
Which no shade totally. Why do I need a hundred dollar one when I can get one for 24.99?
Doree Shafrir (16:09):
Exactly.
Elise Hu (16:11):
I didn't even afford the entire varley set. I just have the varley top, as I mentioned before, because it's expensive. For the full set, it would've been like more than two Hondi. So maybe it's time to move over to bounce fleece. And also this will look really cute at a volleyball tournament when I'm volleyball momming.
Doree Shafrir (16:31):
Totally. Yes. You can get matching colors. I can't remember if I mentioned this, but I did once get the varley quarter zip from newly when I was doing newly. How'd you like it? Because I have a bunch of barley stuff. Yeah. I did like it. I actually found it to be almost too substantial.
Elise Hu (16:52):
Oh,
Doree Shafrir (16:53):
Okay. Yeah. I found it to be very thick. And I don't know. I felt like it sort of swallowed me a little bit, but it was definitely, it felt like high quality for sure.
Elise Hu (17:08):
Yeah. Yeah. I think you have ... The trick is to size. I like to wear my sweat stuff a little bigger, and so I usually like to order maybe a medium or a large, but I think I went because of the way it looked, I think I sized down on the top and it was the right choice because they're oversized a little bit.
Doree Shafrir (17:27):
I think I should have sized down probably. Okay. Well, these are all hot tips and we are going to take another short break and when we come back, we have a sort of like big existential question. So you know, we love digging into these. We sure do. All right. We will be right back. We'll be right back. All right. We are back. Elise, do you want to read this big question that we got?
Elise Hu (18:04):
Yeah. I have been in a career slump for some time now and naively thought my next big thing would eventually just come to me. As of late, the only idea that excites me is going back to school and starting fully over. I want to become either a licensed therapist or school psychologist, but would have to start basically from the ground up. I'm 36 and have two small children and plenty of school debt already, but I can't find a job that fills my cup and I've been thinking about this for a long time. Is it totally insane to want to go down this path at this point in life? I worry that I'll feel like I'm distracting myself from the kids, but really I'm working full-time as it is and not enjoying myself. Let me know what you think.
Doree Shafrir (18:51):
What's your initial reaction? My initial reaction is to go back to school and start fully over. So I don't know what your ... You say that you have school debt and two small children, but I don't know what your partner situation is. Is your household in a position where you could go back to school? Even if it meant taking on more debt, can your household handle you not working potentially full-time for the next two to five years? I guess that's my question that doesn't seem to be answered in this message.
Elise Hu (19:35):
And if you are in a situation where your household system can handle this, then yeah, there's plenty of people who start all over and start from scratch at sort of midlife. In fact, there was a mom that I know who's a neighbor who lives not too far from us, who did exactly that. She started back in school to become a school psychologist or just a therapist in general. And so she's been studying and working on all of that and has two small kids as well. I think that her degree was in mathematics or engineering and she just didn't want to do it anymore. I was like, "I'm going back to school and I'm going to become a therapist." So I've seen it in my own neighborhood. And then last night I was at this cocktail party or the salon thing. And I was chatting with one friend and he told me he referred to somebody on the other side of the room and he was like, "Oh yeah, that guy, he was in entertainment or something.
(20:34)
He wrote Homeland or was a writer on homeland, that show with Claire Daines." And then he was like, "I'm going to go to law school and was interested in law school." And he took the LSAT and started law school in his 40s or something. So yeah, I mean, there are a few examples that I can actually point to where this has happened fairly recently. So you can do it so long as your family system can support it.
Doree Shafrir (20:57):
There are a lot of therapy programs where you can go part-time. I don't know if this is possible for you, especially with two small kids, but I do have a friend who was working full-time the entire time he was in grad school for therapy and he did something in a completely unrelated field. So now his kids are a little older. His kids were like tweens and teens and he also was older. He was like in his late 40s when he started. So you might not be in the stage of life where you could do that, but I just want to say like that is also an option- Can be done. ... to go part-time.
Elise Hu (21:39):
Yeah.
Doree Shafrir (21:41):
So yeah. But I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this. And if you have done this, let us know. Let us know what you think. All right. Elise, that brings us to the end of our show. Already.
Elise Hu (21:59):
Sadly. It's gone
Doree Shafrir (22:00):
By so fast. It has gone by so fast. Listeners, thank you so much. And please write in, call in, let us know what's on your mind, and we will talk to you soon.
Elise Hu (22:13):
Okay. Talk to you next time.
Doree Shafrir (22:15):
Okay, bye.