Mini-Ep 471: Berries From The Earth
Doree and Elise hear from listeners with a suggestion for how to celebrate your Forever35 birthday, ways to plan financially with — and for — your aging parents, and dueling views on how to handle berries after they’ve come home from the store.
To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at forever35podcast@gmail.com.
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir, and I'm Elise Hu, and we're just two friends that like to talk alot about serums. And this is a mini episode, what we hear from you, we share your comments and thoughts and we answer your questions tothe best of our ability. But please remember, we are podcast hosts, we are not experts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and/or mental health professional as needed.
Elise Hu (00:38):
Yes. Okay. Yeah, I want to hear about your weekend. Mine was exactly the same both days, which I can get into, but I want to hear about what's going on with you.
Doree Shafrir (00:46):
Yeah. So I had a lot of tennis this weekend. I played a singles match- So tennis doesn't stop. Tennis doesn't stop. I played a singles match on Saturday. Well, I took Henry to a soccer game. It was very muddy. I played a singles match. And then my team had a playoff match that afternoon. So Saturday was very tennis heavy. And then Sunday, Henry had a baseball game. And then we had another tennis match, a doubles match. And my doubles partner and I got totally killed, which always humbling. I
Elise Hu (01:30):
Watched this happen for a different sport. Yes.
Doree Shafrir (01:33):
But I actually feel like I played pretty well. I was like, oh, you know what? I had some good highlights. So I wasn't totally ... It was just one of those things where it was like, oh, these people are just better. You know what I mean? It wasn't like a thing where I felt like I was making a lot of mistakes and that was why they won. It was like, these people are just objectively better than I am, which is a thing.
Elise Hu (02:01):
Yeah. No, I watched a lot of that happen with volleyball because I was in a volleyball gym all weekend. Yeah. What happened? First of all, I had sensory overload.
Doree Shafrir (02:12):
Oh man. Those places
Elise Hu (02:13):
Have the worst acoustics and lighting possible. Somebody needs to reconfigure the gym experience for parents because we have to spend a good nine hours a day back to back in these tournament gyms. And it's at least, I'm going to say 20 volleyball matches going on. So like 40 teams playing against each other on the court, each one getting reffed with the whistle and line calls and everything at the exact same time. And so all you hear is just this cacophony of sound. It's brutal. And Ava had a two-day tournament, so we had to be there at 7:00 AM on Saturday, 8:00 AM on Sunday. And then they play an hour and then they ref an hour for their pool and then they play and then they ref. And the parents are just stuck there. I haven't figured out how to drop them off and find something else to do during one of these tournaments yet because it's the beginning of the season.
(03:15)
And I should be there to see ... If I'm going to drive all the way to Irvine or Anaheim or something that's far away from me, it's not like I have a bunch of other things going on. I can't go hang out with my friends. Totally. So I ended up in a gym for two days. And it's so funny because I was really complaining about this with my friend Meredith, Ava's volleyball auntie. And she was on Instagram and she texted me an image of the Insta stories from Army Hammer's ex- wife, Elizabeth Chambers. And she was at the same gym in the same situation complaining about the same thing. Oh my God, that's so funny. So we're all there.
(04:01)
Everybody's going through this. But the team played actually better on Sunday when they lost three matches, so all six sets, than they played on Saturday when they won two out of three matches. And the reason why is they go in, this was the first tournament of like every club in Southern California and in their age group had to show up. So it was like 200 some clubs spread over three different gyms in three different places. And they go in with seeds based on the reputation of the club and the reputation of that team, because some of them are assumed to have played together and stayed together. Our seating was abstract because Ava's club that she ultimately chose after the great recruitment frackus of 2025 is that their team is almost completely new. So their seating was sort of like a guess. And so they went in, seated 32 out of 200 or something in Southern California.
(05:09)
And all the teams in the top 50 played in the same gym, in the same location. And they're all fighting to be in the top 12 because apparently it's the top 12 teams in a region that end up getting to go to nationals.
(05:22)
But again, this is abstract. It was just sort of like a guess that this team would play in this place. And based on the ranking is how they pool. So those are the three, and it's pools of four. So the three teams that you would play against over the course of a day are in your group of four or in your pool. And based on their position of not being in the top 12, they had like easier opponents the first day for their level. But since they won most of their sets, they ended up having to play against a top level pool the next day. So everything got harder the next day. And guess who was in that top level pool? The team she shunned, the team where she sprained her ankle at the tryout and the coach carried her-
Doree Shafrir (06:11):
Oh no.
Elise Hu (06:12):
... and stayed with her for 45 minutes to wait to get her to the ER. And she like mentally, she said that coach gave her side eye. He didn't acknowledge her. He was not graceful. So awkward. And I was like, " Ava, you should say hi. "And she's like, " No, I'm avoidant. No. "Oh my God. Also, it's a lot to ask of her because she's not the adult in this scenario. Of course. Yeah. And she's freaked out that he hates her and all these things and he was not that nice. And so anyway, they had to play across the net from ... She had to play across the network.
Doree Shafrir (06:48):
You know what that says to me is that she made the right choice because-
Elise Hu (06:52):
That's what the other coach said.
Doree Shafrir (06:54):
Yeah. If this coach is so petty and immature that he's going to take it so personally that one 12-year-old didn't join his team and take it out on her, then that's not a coach you want to ... You don't want to be on that coach's team.
Elise Hu (07:09):
It's interesting you say that because our coach, the coach of the team she wound up at, totally without prompting at the end of the day, he's like, " Man, I didn't have great experiences with that coaching staff because he had to ref their game and he was like, "They were a little rough with the girls." Ava was like, "Yeah, he was full on crashing out. " And so it all makes her feel more validated in her decision despite the fact that she didn't have any friends. Anyway, so she didn't have any friends at the time when she chose that team, but now she does. So all in all, a good experience. The wins weren't there, but sometimes the wins aren't there, but you're playing really well, which is exactly what you're describing about tennis. And so the girls actually feel fairly good. Good,
Doree Shafrir (07:53):
Good. Yeah.
(07:54)
Well, Elise, we do have a bunch of communiques from listeners, but before we get to those, I just want to remind everyone that we do have a sale going on right now on our Patreon at patreon.com/forever35. It's 20% off. We only do this once a year. So head on over there and sign up for our Patreon while we are on sale because we are also doing a live recording for our Patreon subscribers, a live recording of our casual chat on Wednesday, December 10th at 7:30 PM Eastern, 4:30 PM Pacific. We will be chatting away, we'll be taking your questions live on the show and we're just so excited to get to do this. So if you want to be a part of that, sign up for the Patreon@patreon.com/forever35 and all paid subscribers will get access to the live recording. So check that out. And before we take a break, Elise, we have a couple of emails and texts that I just want to read quickly.
Elise Hu (09:00):
Okay.
Doree Shafrir (09:01):
We had asked people if they had any suggestions for our ShopMy shelves and someone wrote in to say, "I know you have discussed good tween face care and makeup products. Would love to see a shelf for that. I have a tween and she's just getting started with interest in skincare and makeup."
Elise Hu (09:19):
Oh my gosh. Isabelle would love to curate a shelf for us.
Doree Shafrir (09:23):
Yes. Issa
Elise Hu (09:24):
Should absolutely do it. She's my 10 and a half year old. She's getting into skincare, but she's also tried a lot of things because of her older sister who's 13, so we should set Issa on this task.
Doree Shafrir (09:37):
That would be so great. Okay. And then we also got an email from a listener named Katie who said on a past episode, you had a question from a listener about how to celebrate your Forever 35 birthday. All the suggestions were great, but I think you missed one obvious one, which is what I did for my 35th inspired by the pod, self-care. For my 35th, I wandered around a local downtown area reading a book, eating good food and doing some fun shopping. I capped it off with a manicure, facial and massage, and went out to a fancy dinner with my partner. For me, that was all self-care at that point in my life. I know it's a privilege to take off the time and be able to be that self-indulgent, but I think whatever is in reach and answers the question, what will make me feel cared for and restored seems like a great theme for our forever 35th.
Elise Hu (10:30):
Aw. That's great. That's a good one. That is a good one. It's so gratifying to hear that you did that and the show has some link to it. It's just so lovely all around.
Doree Shafrir (10:42):
All right. Well, before we take a break, just a reminder that you can call or text us at 781-591-0390 and email us at forever35podcast@gmail.com. You can also visit our website, forever35podcast.com. For links to everything we mentioned on the show, follow us on Instagram at Forever35podcast. And our newsletter is now on Patreon. You can sign up at our free Patreon tier and still get the newsletter. So that's at patreon.com/forever35 and you can shop our favorite products, including hopefully by the time this airs, our tween shelf at shami.us/forever35. And after the break, we have a few listeners who wrote and called in with aging parent content.
Elise Hu (11:25):
This has been an ongoing conversation, but very gratifying.
Doree Shafrir (11:28):
Yeah, so we'll be right back with that. All right, we are back. Elise, do you want to read this first message?
Elise Hu (11:42):
Sure. Hi, I'm a fairly new listener. Thanks Vibe Check for the intro. Oh, I'm really glad that that pod swap worked out.
(11:49)
I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for the ongoing conversations about elder care. This fall, I've become immersed in trying to make a plan for my mom's finances and feel like I have no friends or peers to discuss it with. She has a very tiny but incredible for also raising four kids amount of money and I'm trying desperately to help her organize so she can hang on to it for when she needs it, but no financial planners or accountants will talk to us because the amount of money is so low. I love research and spreadsheets, so I'm happy to try and work this out for my mom, but I'm worried I'm going to mess something up and feel responsible and pay for her for the rest of my life. I'm literally making a PowerPoint to initiate the conversation about all of this with my siblings at Thanksgiving so we can at least get on the same page.
(12:33)
Anyways, thank you so very much for the solidarity and information you and your listeners have shared. I wish we could start a support group on Slack or something. Thank you so much. My first reaction is that I recently interviewed your rich BFF, Vivian II, who you all probably know because she's just this giant creator and Vivian talked about how so much of financial advice is out of reach unless you have like $200,000 or more to invest. And she really started her brand as your rich BFF to be approachable and for people like women and communities of color that have been traditionally left out of financial planning advice. She was like, "So often the people who sort of know what financial products are and know the names of set IRAs and this product or that product, they learn because their parents have money who then talked about these things on the golf course or wherever else that they talked about it.
(13:33)
" And so she said that in this day and age, there are so many great and free or nearly free robo advisors, like robo investment advisors that are actually pretty good, like where you put in a set amount of money and then you say how you want to invest. There's an app on my phone that I'm trying out called Stash. There's one from Wealthfront that I'm using. This isn't going to cater specifically to planning for your mother's fund, sort of like retirement fund or fund for any of her healthcare or medical expenses down the road. But if you want to invest, what I'm saying is that you don't have to go to like a Charles Schwab or whoever else that it's going to charge you a huge fee. There are ways to invest through robo-advisors that actually have been as reliable as the market is.
(14:25)
So don't count. Don't take my financial advice, but yeah, there's other ways to get into it without a giant sum of money. And that's just kind of the recent takeaway that I got from your rich BFF. And if you don't follow her, you should follow her on TikTok and Instagram.
Doree Shafrir (14:41):
All right.
Elise Hu (14:42):
Another listener wrote in who said ... Listening to all the comments and question about aging parents such a difficult topic I don't think gets discussed enough and it can be a really lonely experience. Some folks have written in about Medicaid trusts, which are trusts that can allow you to set aside your assets so you can qualify for Medicaid, which is unfortunately the largest payer of long-term care costs in our country, though that does not count all the unpaid labor performed by loved ones. I would caution folks to just be careful exploring this option and working with attorneys. I am a financial advisor and there are attorneys out there that solely focus on Medicaid trusts as the best option, and they sometimes charge quite a lot of money for it, excessive amounts in my view. I have even seen clients who had these trusts done incorrectly, or they were never given proper instructions on how to actually put assets in the trust, and so they are pointless.
(15:36)
Also, depending on how much in assets you have, you may really not want to plan on relying on Medicaid services or Medicaid LTC facilities, which typically have a much higher staff to patient ratio. Not saying it isn't a good option, but be really careful about which attorney you work with, especially. I would be skeptical of any estate planning or elder law attorney who only does Medicaid trusts or presents that as the only option. Okay, so that's a useful guide. If you're going to an attorney to do some long-term care planning and they only give you this one option, then maybe be wary.
Doree Shafrir (16:13):
I feel like this is also one of those things where it's like, we have such an amazing array of listeners. We have someone who can just be like, "Hey, just do your due diligence because I have experience in this. " I just love our listeners. That's all. Just wanted to put in a shout out for our listeners. All right, we have more to say, and I know listeners have more to say on this subject. We have another voicemail that we're actually going to play next week on this topic, so keep writing in about this. I feel like there is a community of listeners who need a place to commiserate about this, and we are happy to be that place.
Elise Hu (16:53):
We sure
Doree Shafrir (16:54):
Are. We are going to take another short break and we'll be right back with some berry content.
Elise Hu (17:00):
Ooh.
Doree Shafrir (17:01):
All right. Stay tuned. All right, we are back and we have a voicemail about berry storage.
Listener Voicemail (17:15):
Hi, Elise and Doree. I have a very quick berry storage tip. We're in the Pacific Northwest and we go berry picking a ton every summer. So for storing berries and keeping them as fresh as possible for as long as possible, you need to store them in class mason jars. Do not wash them beforehand. Huge mistake. Wash them as you use them. They store really well in those glass mason jars. All right, thanks. Bye.
Elise Hu (17:43):
For context, I never know what to do to make my berries last longer after I bring them back from the store. And we talked a couple weeks ago just about how I just leave them in the plastic berry containers, but is there a better way to store them?
Doree Shafrir (17:55):
Yeah. So what's funny about this is we got some conflicting messages about this. There is the, do not wash your berries in any way, shape or form camp, which was what I had always understood, like that you weren't supposed to wash your berries before you store them or before you're going to use them
Elise Hu (18:15):
Because
Doree Shafrir (18:16):
It makes them soggy. And that's what this listener who just called in is saying too. But then we also have some people who are saying to wash them in a very specific way. Could you read this next text?
Elise Hu (18:29):
"Hello, ladies. Just listening to Mini at 470 about berry storage. When I come home from the store, I immediately place the berries in a bowl of water and add a splash of white vinegar and baking soda to the water. I then stir it around, let's sit for a few minutes and then strain and rinse them. After that, I leave them out to dry on a plate with one of my reusable towels pod recommended. I find the berries taste better, last longer, and I am also satisfied to see the dirty water left behind. "Ew, yeah. I don't know if I want to see the dirty water left behind because then I know, but I guess they're from the earth. They're from the earth. I shouldn't be so sick about that. They're from the earth. They grow from the ground. They are from mother nature. So what am I getting grossed out about?
(19:18)
Okay. Well, I have seen that TikTok hack too with the water and the splash of vinegar and baking soda. I just haven't tried it for myself and it seems like so like a bridge too far, like an extra task I
Doree Shafrir (19:33):
Have to ...
Elise Hu (19:35):
I already dislike putting away my groceries.
Doree Shafrir (19:37):
Remember when we were spraying our groceries during the lockdown days? Yes. Yes.
Elise Hu (19:44):
Sure do.
Doree Shafrir (19:45):
Okay. We got another email from, again, a Pacific Northwest person who said," We're not reusing our Ziploc bags. I'm shocked by this. We live in the Pacific Northwest, so maybe we're more environmental than most, but damn, I am shocked. We reuse, wash our/wash ours many times and try to use glass. Also for berries, again, Pacific Northwest, try and use a container where berries aren't stacked on top of each other. Only wash before eating and store in a glass jar or container with lid in the fridge. Love the pod. Thanks y'all. "So this echoes our first voicemail who was also from the Pacific Northwest. Maybe it's a regional difference. Maybe it is. Are we blowing the lid off of this? This is very interesting.This is one of those topics where I never would've guessed that our offhand discussion of berry storage would've really touched a nerve.
Elise Hu (20:44):
This happened with your rant on the freebies, the trial size things too. Yes. Yes. I was just like, " Oh yeah, I think I'm going to take my empties to Sephora and you're like, no. "So funny. Speaking of Sephora, before we let you go, there's one more comment or text from a listener that said," Just saw a Mac makeup commercial with Chris Jenner saying Mac is back? "For me, it never went away. I love my Mac 24 hour concealer.
Doree Shafrir (21:22):
Well, we discussed this about how Mac is now at Sephora.
Elise Hu (21:26):
Oh, is that why it's quote unquote back? Okay. Gotcha. I guess. I guess. I see. I see.
Doree Shafrir (21:32):
All right. Well, thanks everyone for listening.
Elise Hu (21:35):
Just a few reminders that we have our Patreon live casual chat on December 10th, 4:30 Pacific, 7:30 Eastern. Don't forget to sign up for our Patreon if you haven't so that you can be part of this live casual chat experience on December 10th. We are running a 20% off discount now. All you have to do is use discount code serums to get 20% off the $5 a month or $10 a month tears at our Patreon where we have lots of extras for that low, low price plus 20% off.
Doree Shafrir (22:07):
All right. Thanks everyone for listening.
Elise Hu (22:10):
Talk to you next time.
Doree Shafrir (22:11):
Bye.