Mini-Ep 455:Something Sus
Doree’s on vacation, so Samee Junio joins Elise this week! They chat about Elise’s upcoming biopsy and all the titanium boob markers out there in the world, the hazy summer days of WWE Summer Slam, and the joy of washing your face with a silly headband.
Then, we turn it over to a mini-ep you know and love - Mini-Ep 434: How To Keep Friends and Stay Connected, where listeners called in with their thoughts on friendship month, therapists in therapy, and more!
To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at forever35podcast@gmail.com.
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Transcript
This episode transcript is AI generated.
Elise Hu (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Elise Hu, and Doree is on summer break this week on the East Coast. Much deserved. So we have something special for you. I got our producer who y'all don't get to hear from enough Samee Junio to join me.
Samee Junio (00:30):
I'm not Dory. It's me. Samee. What's
Elise Hu (00:33):
Up Samee? Welcome, welcome.
Samee Junio (00:35):
Thank you. Thanks for having me. What's up? It's hot and I decided to still wear a hoodie today in some sort of fashion defiance, so I'm sweating so much, so much and I won't take it off.
Elise Hu (00:46):
Such a subversive move of yours.
Samee Junio (00:49):
I know. Yeah, take that. How are you doing, Elise?
Elise Hu (00:53):
I'm good. And just so y'all know, just a programming note for listeners. This is a mini episode where we are going to hear from you and share your comments and thoughts and answer your questions to the best of our ability. The mini we are going to share is actually the most listened to mini app of 2025 so far.
Samee Junio (01:12):
Yes.
Elise Hu (01:12):
And it is from March after we concluded Friendship month in February. And so we heard from a lot of the listeners just about what your takeaways were, what you learned from it, what you didn't like about it, all sorts of things. And so that ended up being a big listen to episode. So you still are going to hear Doree later on in this episode, but just for this catch up part, there's a lot to catch up on. So I just wanted to give Samee a chance to pop in
Samee Junio (01:44):
And pop
Elise Hu (01:45):
Share a little bit about their summer and it's also a good sort of therapeutic day for me to to podcast just a little bit because I have my biopsy soon.
Samee Junio (01:59):
Oh gosh.
Elise Hu (02:00):
And as I shared, I think on one of the Monday episodes a week ago or more, they found a random lump right behind my nip and they ranked it as suspicious. Oh, a suspicious. Yeah. They actually have a ranking and there's like birads rankings and this one's Birads suss.
Samee Junio (02:23):
You got a suss lump behind your nip.
Elise Hu (02:25):
I
Samee Junio (02:25):
Do remember editing that episode and just cracking up, even though biopsies and lumps are a little spooky, but the fact that you called it, it's like, oh, there's a bump behind my nip. I was like, okay, very cool taking it. Well,
Elise Hu (02:38):
I mean, we don't know what it is yet, so I've been trying to just keep it chill, but now today
Samee Junio (02:45):
Day, because
Elise Hu (02:45):
It's biopsy day, I'm like, okay, I should probably read the report from my mammogram. I never even checked my portal and I didn't know what the reports and what the mammogram and then the following ultrasound even showed, and so it was only last night where I was like, oh, I got a suss ranking. That doesn't feel great.
Samee Junio (03:05):
Yeah, that's not great. I felt a lump in my boob in I think it was 2012 and everything was totally fine, but the way that the doctor delivered the news that the lump was not a scary lump, she just left a message on my phone, which I felt was probably not in protocol. She was like, everything's fine. We'll see a later bye. And hung up. I was like, I don't know if your level of trill is comforting or not, but yeah, they left this microscopic little titanium hook in there, so if anybody else stumbles upon it, they'll be like, oh, this one was already checked out.
Elise Hu (03:45):
Somebody told me. So I have a lot of, now that I'm in my early forties, I have a lot of folks who have had breast cancer scares or breast cancer in their lives. It turns out it's a huge sisterhood. It's something like 4 million American women are survivors or are living with breast cancer. So some of my friends were make sure to get that titanium marker so they leave a little titanium in you, which is kind of cool. Then you can say that you have a titanium tit,
Samee Junio (04:11):
Which
Elise Hu (04:11):
Is kind of
Samee Junio (04:12):
Cool. Titanium,
Elise Hu (04:13):
Titanium tit or a titanium.
Samee Junio (04:17):
Yeah, we're all like one 64000th robot. Maybe they'll be nicer
Elise Hu (04:25):
To us when they take over, but yeah, so that's happening and whenever I know something, obviously I will update the community. Thank you to the listeners who have called in and texted and left such nice notes.
Samee Junio (04:40):
Totally.
Elise Hu (04:41):
What about you? What about you though, Samee? What's been going on? What are you into this summer?
Samee Junio (04:45):
Well, I just got back from spending the weekend in Rutherford, New Jersey because I went to Summer Slam, which is a big WWE E. Yeah, you did. It was two nights in a row and oh my goodness, what a thrill. I am a little bit more scratchy throated today because I spent 48 hours screaming my head off
Elise Hu (05:11):
Great time. Oh my
Samee Junio (05:12):
Gosh.
Elise Hu (05:14):
So there are actually wrestling matches happening, right? It's like the ultimate, it's like a massive tournament or something,
Samee Junio (05:21):
So it's not a tournament. There are two nights and there were six matches per night. There are several tournaments within the WWE season, but they're just championship matches and then regular matches, and then there's tables, ladders, and chairs. That's a type of match, which is nuts and crazy. So they dangle these championship belts above the ring and then for this specific tables, ladders and chairs match. There were six tag teams running up and scrambling and trying to get these tag team championship belts.
Elise Hu (05:54):
Oh my gosh.
Samee Junio (05:55):
I mean, if you're not a wrestling fan and if you're ever wanting just a spike of adrenaline, just YouTube table lodges and chairs matches and I don't think you'll be disappointed at all.
Elise Hu (06:06):
I told you that I'm really into going to see the lucha doors and lucha toras in Mexico. Super fun. We did that when we were in Mexico City and they put on just such a show and it feel like so many elements of WE are borrowed from that tradition, but I don't know which way it is. I think it started in Latin America first and then some of the showmanship that we saw in WWE followed, or am I wrong?
Samee Junio (06:36):
Professional wrestling as we see it in wwe. E started as a carnival act, but I do believe that Lu chadors and wrestling was also happening in Mexico and stuff, and the difference between Mexican wrestling and the WWE wrestling is that lu chador style wrestling is a lot more high flying and a lot more acrobatic. We do get acrobatic stuff in professional wrestling, but it's ticked up a notch and there's a lot more jumping off the ropes and stuff in Ludo and it's so fun and it doesn't, doesn't matter. The outcomes are written because TV shows are written guys.
Elise Hu (07:14):
That's true. That's true. And it's quality entertainment. Quality entertainment. All right, so Summer Slam was your big highlight so far. Yeah. Are you into anything that you want to recommend you got any product recs that you've been devoted to or
Samee Junio (07:28):
Discovered? Oh my gosh. So I started really religiously washing my face recently because of how muggy and sweaty it is on the east coast. I started getting adult acne,
Elise Hu (07:41):
Which is right at the base of your hairline, right at
Samee Junio (07:44):
The hairline, and it was humiliating, I guess, because I've never had a bad skin rag, but I've really gotten into the face washing headbands, the ones with the bows on 'em.
Elise Hu (07:56):
Yeah, so
Samee Junio (07:57):
Cute. So fun. I have two and I have three in Vegas. It's the brightest joy of my days is putting on the headband and washing. Oh,
Elise Hu (08:09):
That's great. That's great. You're taking care of yourself that way.
Samee Junio (08:12):
Have you anything that you've liked?
Elise Hu (08:16):
This is embarrassing. I'm very into a Justin Bieber song now from
Samee Junio (08:19):
No Way.
Elise Hu (08:20):
His new album. Yes, there's this song called Daisy
Samee Junio (08:25):
By
Elise Hu (08:25):
Justin Bieber that is kind of a bop. I kind of like it
Samee Junio (08:28):
Give still ours.
Elise Hu (08:29):
Yeah, I know. I could see it. I'm just like, okay, I like the general vibe of this.
Samee Junio (08:35):
Yeah. Is the vibe, does it capture old Justin? Is it somewhere new? A little
Elise Hu (08:39):
Bit, yeah. He sounds a little younger. He sounds a little younger to me. I know that his life has been a bit troubled or just kind of
Samee Junio (08:46):
Up
Elise Hu (08:46):
And down lately, and so this kind of evokes a Justin of yesteryear I think to me. I also got the new Gwyneth biography, the unauthorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow. That's out now, so I'm very excited about that. Not exactly a product, but super into it.
Samee Junio (09:08):
There's an audiobook too, right? I'm getting that audiobook push hard. So I think everybody really wants us to hear the unauthorized biography of Gwyneth.
Elise Hu (09:17):
I love an unauthorized
Samee Junio (09:18):
One. We're seeing this behind Gwyneth's back by the way. That's right. It's like, what are you going to get Sued? Sued by goop. Put that on my tombstone.
Elise Hu (09:28):
And then my only other big product thing is cream blushes. I'm very into cream blushes and I've been very happy with the Tower 28, which I think I got introduced to by my 12-year-old. Of course, the tower 28 cream blush. It's very pigmented. I can't remember the actual shade of mine, but I'm loving that and I don't think I'm going to go back. I'm not going to go, I'm not going to keep shopping for blushes. I was wearing the say one I think last year and that one's also very good, but I've switched to the tower 28 cream blush and I'm very happy with
Samee Junio (10:01):
It. So regular blush is powder, right?
Elise Hu (10:04):
It was back in the day. It was now most blush is delivered as a creamy.
Samee Junio (10:10):
Okay. Is there a benefit to powder versus cream that you've encountered?
Elise Hu (10:15):
I feel this is more moisturizing to me and also more glowy. I just think this is an aesthetic change, right Back in the eighties and nineties when Matt was more in and now we're into glowy and dewy and hydrated and hydrated looking and so there was a real concern. I remember in the nineties when I was growing up where it was like, you don't want to look greasy or oily, and now it's like, oh yeah man, just put Vaseline straight on your face.
Samee Junio (10:41):
Yeah, what's it called? Yeah, just snail yourself. It's snail. Have you slugged?
Elise Hu (10:49):
No, I'm not going to do that. That's made with petroleum byproduct.
Samee Junio (10:53):
I mean it's called
Elise Hu (10:53):
Petroleum jelly for sure. Anyway, alright, so we have the mini app from March teed up for y'all, but before we take a break and share that with you, if you want to reach us, our voicemail number is five nine one zero three nine zero seven eight one five nine one zero three nine zero. Please call us or text us and if you text us and want to leave a message, you can leave a traditional voicemail, but as Dorie mentioned last week, you'll sound even crisper and better if you record a voice memo and attach that to your text or your email and you can always email us at Forever35podcast@gmail.com. And if you don't want to leave your voice, we will just read your texts and emails. We're always happy to do that. And just a few reminders, we have our website at Forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show and you can follow us on Instagram at Forever35podcast. We have a newsletter at Forever35podcast.com/newsletter and you can shop our favorite products at shop my us slash forever three five. And finally, if you like these conversations where we're just chopping it up, just catching up, coming up with new names for titanium markers for boobs.
(12:07)
Then you can also join our Patreon at patreon.com/forever three five where Dorry and I have casual chats on Fridays and pop culture chats and free. Yeah, it's a good time. Time. It's a good time. You can join us there. Alright, and I will be back after the break and for now we bid farewell to Samee. Thanks Samee.
Samee Junio (12:31):
Thank you. Two tootles,
Elise Hu (12:33):
Talk to y'all after the break.
Elise Hu (12:41):
All right, we are back and we got a bunch of feedback about friendship month, so we're going to play some of it.
Listener Voicemail (12:50):
Dore and E wanted to share something that I implemented from Friendship Month. So I have a friend who always reaches out to me. I never reach out to her, not that I don't want to, just that life is nuts and she always suggests to do the thing that is easiest for me on dates and times that are easiest for me, which is to go on a walk during the workday when the kids aren't around. When I have a break at work, she lives a couple blocks for me. We walk to a coffee shop and talk and then walk home and talk and she even goes so far as tries to reach out to me to schedule it during the week because she knows if she does it on the weekend I'll say, yeah, let me write myself a sticky note to look at my work calendar when I log in on Monday.
(13:42)
And she's like, oh, I'll just reach out to you during the week so you don't to can take that step out of your to-do list. Anyway, so we went on a walk yesterday and I said to her, I know you always reach out to me and I do not reach out to you, but I want to let you know that that's not because I don't want to walk with you Every time you text me about a walk, I get excited and I look forward to it, so please continue to do that and don't take my lack of initiation as a lack of interest. And she was like, I'm so glad you said that because sometimes I wonder that and it was just such a lovely conversation, like connected like a yin and a yang. I wouldn't have shared that with her had I not been listening to this friendship month and thinking about that unevenness. And Elise was saying sometimes people you connect into friend groups because you have the same style and in this case it's actually a good fit that she reaches out and I want her to reach out. So anyway, thank you guys for all you do.
Elise Hu (14:42):
I love that.
Elise Hu (14:42):
I love that.
Elise Hu (14:43):
I do actually, that's why I don't think I've ever really taken a tally of who reaches out because I think I do have a lot of friends that just have a different kind of style than me. We have warm vibes towards each other, but I usually reach out because they're the ones who are always down to do something but aren't proactive about making the plan to get together. I was actually thinking, I'm having breakfast with my really good friend Alec next week and this friendship, he was my first friend when I moved to LA and this friendship has sustained over now seven or eight years and we don't really have friends in common, we don't have work in common, we're just friends and we get together regularly, but every once in a while he'll have season tickets to something or he'll be working on something and send him over to me or ask me for advice and it's that kind of friendship, but he is never the one who's like, okay, let's get something on this schedule. But I don't think anything of it, it's just like that's the way, that's the cookie crumbles and I'm so glad that our friendship exists.
Elise Hu (15:46):
So I love this because I just think it highlights this idea that sometimes friendship styles succeed because they're complimentary. Yes. I think just what is the key, and this listener really highlights this is that both people need to be on board. I think where we saw some of the tension from people writing in was when they didn't want to always be the one making the plans and taking the initiative they felt like the other friend should be doing that more. Whereas in this friendship it seems like everyone is sort of comfortable in their roles.
Elise Hu (16:22):
Yeah, I love it. Alright, let's go on to the next one.
Listener Voicemail (16:26):
Hey Doey, that meme that was going around, I dunno, maybe a year ago, it was like, Hey, if you have a friend who has a toddler check in on them. Well, this is your Washington DC federal employee correspondent and I'm calling in to let your listeners know if they have a friend or a family member that is a federal employee or a federal employee adjacent or a contractor to the federal government anywhere in this lovely dumpster fire nation reach out to them.
Elise Hu (16:58):
So good. They
Listener Voicemail (16:59):
Need to, it's a psychological warfare and they could use just a thinking of you not even, how are you doing putting something else on their plate just thinking of you. Feel free to respond with any info you might have, but if not, just wanted to let you know. I'm thinking of you anyway. Yeah, man. Brutal. Okay, fine.
Elise Hu (17:24):
It's so vital. I was actually doing that at TSA because I've been traveling the last couple of weeks. I've been telling these because all these TSA folks, they're all federal employees and they're not paid that well and it's kind of a thankless job in a lot of ways. And I would think of them because every time there's a government shutdown or nearly a government shutdown, which might happen again in the coming weeks, there's no TSA employees or there's talk federal air traffic is going to have to stop. And so I think of them and so as I would get my ID checked and stuff, I'm like, thank you all and I know it's rough times or whatever, but we appreciate you just something small, but many of us, I love that it's a huge federal workforce. It's like 2 million Americans and so many of us have family members and friends who are federal employees and all of us share are connected to one another. None of us is an island. And so I think this is a really great reminder.
Elise Hu (18:21):
Okay, we got another question that I think you and I can tackle because I feel like you do a really good job of keeping in touch with your friends who don't live here. So I feel like you would be a good person to answer this. Okay.
(18:37)
Loving the Friendship series. It is raising a lot of emotions for me. I'm missing friends who live far away, but now that many of us have young kids traveling to be together, it feels so hard. I have a 15 month old, the youngest and the rest of the kids range in ages up to seven. So we have been in the new parent zone for many years now. Maybe it's harder in my head than reality, but we are sick all the time and I haven't had a lot of opportunities lately to get together with friends nearby, let alone far away. I know it gets better, the sick part at least, but it feels like these friendships are withering. In the meantime, I just sent a message in the group text, but even that has not been very active since we aren't really present in each other's day-to-day lives and haven't been for a long time.
(19:16)
Not sure if I have a question, just a lot of feelings maybe how to rescue a friend group when probably you can only get together once a year or would it be best to focus on individual friendships rather than the group to cut down on the moving parts of four people in three states with five kids trying to triangulate a plan, thinking of fond memories of my college best friend and I finding so many ways to spend time together, even just sitting on a stoop together when we only had a few minutes in the same city wondering if I should just send this to her.
Elise Hu (19:43):
Yes, you should definitely send it to her. Always let folks that you love know that you love them. We really don't know how much time that we have to express our connections to one another. I think to the question about getting the whole group together, it is really gnarly. It gets really hard to get the friend group of the girls that you used to be in the same college dorm with altogether. Again, I remember in my twenties we had so many wedding related get togethers, there were bachelorette weekends and things where a lot of girlfriends from various groups would get together because there was a milestone or something
Elise Hu (20:20):
To gather around
Elise Hu (20:21):
Or then there were baby showers and all that and now there's fewer milestones now that I'm in my early forties. And so it's really tough. You basically have to have one of those friends who is type A and hyper organized and can corral everybody and do the doodle poll and see which weekends are available. And if there isn't one of those leaders in the group, then it's very hard to get the whole group together. And so in that case, in some of my groups that don't have those, I have kind of just prioritized individual check-ins
Samee Junio (20:55):
And
Elise Hu (20:56):
Usually around there's reasons that we reach out to one another even if we haven't talked for nine months. It's like birthdays for example. We check in on birthdays and so I'm pretty good about knowing when my friend's birthdays are and using that as a way to just check in or they're checking in with me on mine. The other is just little stuff. If there's things that make you think of your friend
(21:21)
Little memes here or there. The other day I don't remember what made me think of my friend Chris. I was in a CVS aisle or something. I was like, I haven't talked to Chris in a while. And I texted him and he responded by saying, oh my gosh, I was just thinking about you and thinking about you and Rob a few days ago. So we are on each other's minds and so sometimes we just have to make that explicit. So I love your feelings and I hope that you share them with the people that you love and the friends that are in that group.
Elise Hu (21:53):
I love that.
Elise Hu (21:54):
And you'll pick up right where you left off. You'll pick up right where you left
Elise Hu (21:57):
Off totally.
Elise Hu (21:58):
So it can go a long time. But for my friends who I haven't seen, my Texas girls, like my Texas crew, I can go a long time without seeing them, but we are so tight and every time we're back together it's just like we had been hanging out for a long stretch. We just pick right up.
Elise Hu (22:15):
This also, this made me think of some of the takeaways that we posted in the newsletter last week. Raina Cohen said, be willing to initiate and be willing to get rejected. People would rather play it safe even if that means suffering, the consequences of not getting closer to people. And I was like, yes. And Dr. Franco made a similar point where she said, our brains are glitchy. And so instead of thinking, how will that friend see it if I reach out to them? You should ask yourself, how would I see it if they reached out to me? I'm like, most of the
Elise Hu (22:53):
Time
Elise Hu (22:54):
You would welcome it. Oh my God, yes. Thank you. I'm so glad this person reached out. So keep that in mind. Alright, we're going to take another short break and we'll be right back. Alright, we are back on our last mini episode we had, was it our last one or the one before? I forget. We had Anna Goldfarb, one of our guests for Friendship month answer some listener questions that came in about friendship
Elise Hu (23:30):
And y'all had very mixed reviews about this very mixed reviews. Some of you really appreciated having somebody else in the advice chair and somebody who was a researcher on friendship and some of y'all really just miss us giving advice.
Elise Hu (23:45):
Yes, we got quite a few responses that said that Anna's advice really missed the mark. And so we hear you, we honor that and just want to read some of this feedback. Or actually, you know what? Let's hear some feedback first.
Listener Voicemail (24:03):
Hi Doree and Elise, this is Julie Miller and I love the podcast I was calling in reference to the Anna Goldfarb episode. I listened to it today and rarely have I been so surprised by an answer from a guest. Guess I'm calling about the 40th birthday question. I believe it was the last one on the show and I was just really caught off guard by Anna's answer to that. I felt like it was, gosh, it really caught me off guard. I felt like the friend who had the 40th birthday maybe could have expected her friend to do something for her big birthday. I mean, just because you choose to have children doesn't mean that you can't be there for your friends. And I feel like maybe the whole situation was lacking in context. I believe they had been friends since the sixth grade. Maybe that was something that they had always talked about in their twenties and thirties.
(25:09)
Yeah, when we turned 40, we're going to throw huge parties for one another and the friend with the child, and I believe she said she was also pregnant, we don't know what kind of support system she has that she may have grandparents and a supportive husband who are ready to step in with childcare. I think Anna just presuppose that she was a struggling mother who was barely keeping it together and the friend who was turning 40, I think by the time we turned 40, especially single women, child-free women, we have been to so many weddings, so many baby showers. And I don't think it was wrong for that friend to want something in return. I mean, has Anna Goldfarb never seen the Sex in the City episode where she has to go to the shower and take off her shoes and Tatu O'Neal makes such disparaging remarks about she doesn't have children and all that.
(26:10)
It really, really caught me unaware. I'm 52, I did not get married until I was 32. I'm child free by choice. I have joined with another human, but I have seen my friendships shift when my friends have had kids. But my best friend got on a plane with two infants and still came to be made of honor in my wedding. So I feel like that friend really dropped the ball and I was surprised by Anna's advice, but mainly I want to know if I'm alone in this. Did anybody else feel the same as me? Anyway, keep up the great work. Look forward to your show every week and thanks for listening. I know it got caught along. Thanks. Bye-bye.
Elise Hu (26:54):
Not alone. You're not alone. You're not
Elise Hu (26:56):
Alone.
Elise Hu (26:57):
In fact, we have an email that starts the same way, which I'll just read now because it pairs very well with your voicemail. It says hello, I might be alone here, but I found Anna's advice to the woman whose pregnant friend wasn't able to be there for her to be quite cruel. The implication that single child free people have wants and people with kids needs really upset me. Is it not possible to need time, love, and affection if you don't have kids? I'm childless by choice and happily do everything I can to accommodate my friends' kids. And there are a lot of them, including nearly always being the one to travel to them despite not being able to drive and having all of the kids be invited to my birthday lunch so my friends with kids can come. I also had this at home so it was easy for them versus a restaurant and provided everything I could to make the place.
(27:47)
But very often you are either dismissed with things like, I can't believe I ever thought I experienced stress before children. You have no idea or fetishized. Tell me about your dating life. I have to live through you the later actually being a very painful and complicated issue as I'm on the asexual spectrum and struggle to date at all. But my friends just want a good story. Despite knowing this, I think women with children either have to accept some of the responsibility for navigating the change in friendships with their childless friends or just be honest that they aren't capable of having true friendships with people who aren't experiencing motherhood. It feels unfair that all the responsibility is on the childless friend, even if some of it absolutely is best. Yeah, great answer, great response.
Elise Hu (28:30):
Yep, great feedback.
Elise Hu (28:31):
Yeah, no, I've really tried not to. I've been pretty deliberate about trying not to melt into my children's lives so that I can continue to show up for my friends and it just does depend on the kind of support that you have. Yeah, totally. That is possible. And I think that there were some assumptions in that question or that answer that the pregnant friend didn't have the kinds of supports that might make it possible for her to show up
Elise Hu (28:58):
More. Right, totally.
Elise Hu (28:59):
So anyway, we understand the blind spot we see it. Those of you who wrote in and called in are not alone. And I think if anything, it shows us that when we feel like we're the only ones in situations, situations where often not. So please do speak up because it gives license for other people to do the same. And I'm not saying just about reaction to advice on a podcast callin show.
Elise Hu (29:22):
Yes.
Elise Hu (29:22):
I'm saying just in general.
Elise Hu (29:24):
Totally.
Elise Hu (29:25):
Alright.
Elise Hu (29:26):
Alright. We are going to end with a call back to another question that we raised and we got a great voicemail about this.
Elise Hu (29:38):
Okay.
Listener Voicemail (29:39):
Hello, 35 hosts and listeners. I'm a therapist and I have a therapist and I wanted to call in about that question. Every therapist does not have a therapist. Many people don't for similar reasons why the general public doesn't because of stigma, which ironic because lots of people are therapists who still have internalized mental health stigma and a host of other access issues. With that said, there are lots of things to consider when you are looking for a therapist, which would go into kind of the overall fit. So once you talk to them, which you should for let's say 15 minutes before committing, do you like them? Do you feel like you can open up to them? Do they feel safe? Do they feel confident? Does this feel like someone who you would be happy to share with and be vulnerable with? So that's one. Then there are also demographic markers.
(30:36)
If you want to have a therapist that shares your gender or your ethnicity or your sexual orientation or gender identity or even nationality, immigration status, there are so many factors that you might feel more understood if you share one of those demographic markers. Considerations if you want therapy in person or online or hybrid. Lots of people are online and that is great for access, but in person sometimes is powerful in a different way. You might also think about specialty. Does this person specialize in the thing that you want to work on? So lots of people work on anxiety and depression, but there are also specialties in eating disorders or personality disorders or grief or role transitions or transition to parenthood or a million other things. So people have specialties in those areas. There's also the therapeutic approach, which might be behavioral, psychodynamic, humanistic, integrative, or a host of others.
(31:42)
And then availability is huge. So you might love somebody, but they might say, I can only see you once a month when really you want to be seen weekly or biweekly. So lots to consider. And last but not least, price is the biggest access determination that I can think of. And even as a therapist myself, that is the thing that made the decision for me because I found pre therapy and that was through University Counseling Center and I'm going to use that as long as I can. So there's so many factors that go into it and I wish everybody great luck and really encourage everyone to do it and everyone deserves support. So sending love to all, especially my sister.
Elise Hu (32:29):
Oh lovely. That is such a helpful rubric or a heuristic to kind of go down.
Elise Hu (32:36):
Yes,
Elise Hu (32:37):
Yes. Good thing this is transcribed by a machine so that we can go back and look at that transcript. So you can go to our website Forever35podcast.com and read the transcript of that because I think that was a really helpful list of things to consider when considering a therapist. I agree. If you're looking for online therapy or open to online therapy, we do have a code at Better Help one of our sponsors. So if you are interested in shopping around at Better Help, you can visit Betterhelp.com/forever35 and they are offering 10% off your first month. Obviously there's lots of different routes you can take of course. But Better Help does have that discount through us.
Elise Hu (33:22):
Alright, thanks everyone for listening. We appreciate you and we will talk to you soon.
Elise Hu (33:28):
Okay, bye bye.