Mini-Ep 419: Make That New Tradition
Doree and Elise chat about how Midlife & Menopause Month is going and hear from listeners about Elise’s “Deck the Balls” party, making new Thanksgiving traditions, and a travel prod hack to make life easier.
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Transcript
*Transcripts are AI generated
Doree: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise: And I'm Elise Hugh. And we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember, we are not experts. We're podcast hosts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. How you doing, Elise?
Elise: I'm okay. We still have a few more months before the big political transition happens in Washington. We're having a really fruitful month of conversations this month. We are in the middle of midlife and menopause, our month of conversations on the topic and in the middle of this series. And so I just want to do a shout out to our previous guests already and also to all of y'all who we invite to call in with any questions or comments about midlife and aging and menopause, perimenopause, any of it. Because we're in the thick of menopause month. We keep trying to find a fun name. Do we call it the aging series? Do we call it? That doesn't seem right.
Doree: I like midlife and menopause. Midlife and
Elise: Menopause. Yes. So we are in the thick of midlife and menopause mother. I was trying to make a port manto out of it at one point. I was like, maybe it's Meno month, but then it sounded like men money and then that didn't work. You know what? It's always Men month in America.
Doree: That's true. Oh my God, you're so right. We did get a text from someone that said, can we call it men November? But now that you're saying it, it does sound a little bit too much like men. I know. I hadn't thought about that, but you're so right.
Elise: We really, yeah, when you say it aloud
Doree: It's like,
Elise: Oh man. Yeah. Anyway, so funny. How's your morale? How are you doing?
Doree: How's my morale? That's an interesting question. I would say it's hard. I feel like I am in this weird space where I'm simultaneously pretty pessimistic, but also like, okay, we need to keep going. You know what I mean? I sent you this TikTok of this woman from Eastern Europe who was basically like, hello, it is I your friend from Eastern Europe. I'm here to tell you things can always be worse. If there's one thing we've learned here in Eastern Europe, it's that things can always get worse. And I think that's been the mentality of the Jews for thousands of years. It can always get worse because it often always does get worse. And there is a part of me that is like, okay, maybe it is good to have this sort of realist view of things. Not like, oh, just better days are ahead. Where it's like, no, this could get worse and let's think about how we're going to deal with it if it does get worse. You know what I mean? For sure.
Elise: For sure. Yeah, that's a really pragmatic take. Yeah. No, my father had to escape the cultural revolution in mass famine in China because of a terrible leader named Chairman Mao. So don't come at me Chinese overlords someday. But yeah, so no, I think global perspectives are actually helpful. I remember visiting Budapest about 10 years ago, and I was on this bus tour or something, and the tour guide said, it's really weird that Americans, when you ask them, how are you? They're all reflexively respond with, oh, good, fine. It's just like you program that way. And he goes, if you ask a Hungarian how they're doing, most of the time they'll be like, well, me and my wife are in a fight. My car broke down and actually tell you how they're doing. And he said, we've been on the losing side of wars and revolutions for 300 years. We're very realistic. Right?
Doree: Totally. Totally. I saw this other TikTok from this guy in Poland who was like, look, we also had a right wing strong man leader, and the legislature was totally under his control. And you can't get an abortion now in Poland. It's it is that bad? Bad. It's
Elise: Real. Yeah,
Doree: It's real. And I don't know, I think I really started to feel that during the pandemic where it was like, you remember at first it was like things are going to be closed for two weeks. And then it was like
Elise: I was all like, oh, I get to run homeschool. Yay, I get to do this for two weeks. Have fun. We're going to do art projects and draw together with Wendy McNaughton. And then it
Doree: Was like, oh. And it just kept getting worse. And I don't know, in a lot of ways our lives at home have been just financially, it's been like, oh, what else could go wrong this year? And so I feel like I have been sort of conditioned over the last couple years not to be like, oh, everything my life is terrible. But just like, oh, when you think you've hit bottom, there actually often is more of a bottom to go.
Elise: Yeah. The trajectory isn't always in one direction
Doree: Upward. Yes, yes. And I'm not trying to be a downer, but I think it's important to just recognize that. And also, you don't always have to look for the silver lining. Sometimes there is no silver lining.
Elise: If you look at global trends, incumbents are going down everywhere. Justin Trudeau is not going to get reelected in Canada, for example. So I think the hope that we can hold onto is that electorates get sick of whoever's in power and react to whoever's in power. So being in power is often not permanent unless you are in a full on authoritarian system or a pseudo authoritarian system where you can just stay in power like Xi Jinping in China. So for now, our elections were safe and they were run smoothly for the most part. So hopefully they will happen again in two years and the voters will have a chance to have their say again. So we will see how it goes. And I think the fact that change is constant is a glimmer of hope.
Doree: Yes. I really like that. Thank you. Well, please text and email us. Let us know how you're doing. We also got this text from a listener about our midlife and menopause month with a link to a documentary on PBS called the M Factor. And they said, it's the first documentary film on the health crisis faced by millions of women going through menopause. They said, hydria. Elise, really looking forward to the aging theme this month. Wanted to flag this documentary, which very much fits into this theme and maybe of interest to you and the Forever35 listeners.
Elise: Awesome.
Doree: Thank you. And also, Elise, do you remember we had a listener? We were asking what people were going to do on election night. We had a listener who said they were going to be taking their dog to do their obedience test,
Elise: Not an obedience test, but to be a helper dog. What are they
Doree: Called? Yes, that's right. Thank you. To be a helper, dog. Well, we got an update and she passed. Yay. We got a pic of a very cute little pup with a little certificate and a blue ribbon. Oh my gosh.
Elise: Congratulations. This is so cute. This just makes my heart feel happy. Yay. She said all the other dogs were Labradors or golden retrievers and these breeds that are traditionally seeing eye dogs and whatnot, or bomb sniffing dogs. And she had this pit bull mix and it She passed. She passed. Yay. Oh, I'm so proud. This is awesome. Congratulations.
Doree: And then Elise, we got one voicemail that I just want to play before we take a break.
Voicemail: Okay. Hi Elise, and do my election day distraction is thinking about holiday planning, and please let me know if this was a fever dream, but I swear Elise once said that she does a celebration called Deck the balls where all the foods served are shaped like balls. So a please confirm if that's a real thing or something I would love suggestions for to serve at such a celebration. Thanks so much. Hope you're having a peaceful election week.
Elise: It's true. It's true. I do have a holiday theme party called Deck the Balls, and you don't even have to serve anything listener because deck the balls is a potluck that showcases all your friends creativity. So everybody brings in savory or sweet balls and they get so creative. It's really impressive. I think I actually do one thing. I keep a crockpot on of meatballs, so something savory. Last year, my Costco chicken meatballs were very popular, but people come in, they do mozzarella and little cap skewers with mozzarella balls and grape tomatoes. There's rice balls. People have brought the portos balls from here in southern California. Portos is really popular. There's cake balls, there's donut holes. There were last year there was Maah, the numbing spicy maah balls somebody made that was a winner. There were somebody did chicken pot pie balls where they put the stuffing inside a puff pastry that they made into balls.
People get really creative and it is delightful. I have done deck the balls since my daughter, my first daughter was born 12 years ago. And then it's a competition. It's a balloting too. And so there is a little slip that you fill out best savory balls, best sweet balls, and then like a generic category. I love a euphemism, so we did balls. I just liked licking. And so people get really funny with that. And then we run it as a little election, and then there's fun prizes, and I think the prizes tend to be ball themed. Also, we do the Fireball Liquor, a little set of fireball liquor. Oh my.
That's
Doree: Genius.
Elise: We just do more ball themed things. I'm glad you asked. I love this party.
Doree: I hope to be able to attend this
Elise: Year. Yes. Yeah, this year, I don't know. I'm feeling so despairing that I don't know if I can get in the holiday spirit just yet. I love Jack the Balls, but it's a big party. It's like a hundred, 120 people. Whoa. And then the band, it's hard to get the whole band together and all that because band plays at it and they're awesome too. Sam Sanders can play sax. He was a music major former Forever35 guest, Sam Sanders, and he comes out and plays sax, and so it's like a whole thing. I don't know this year. This year I got to, I'm going to really have to rally to get the holiday spirit
Doree: Back. I do think maybe there is something to having the distraction of planning a party could be nice. And also getting all of your friends together, and
Elise: That always feels good,
Doree: Will feel good. I also selfishly just want you to have it because I want to experience it.
Elise: Doree and I co-hosted a party at a friend's house last weekend where it was onesie, themed in sweats. Everybody could just come in pajamas. It was very chill except one couple, one very attractive couple came in,
Doree: My God,
Elise: Dressed to the nines, and it was like, what are you doing?
Doree: I was like, wow, she is wearing high heels. They looked amazing, but I was like, oh, I didn't even put on makeup. Me neither.
Elise: Rob and I were wearing matching flight suits. People came in Ghostbusters onesies.
Doree: It was really funny.
Elise: Didn't get the memo, I guess. Didn't get the memo. Somebody was like, well, that invite was very long. I didn't use it all the way
Doree: Through. I was going to say the invite was quite long and there were a lot of details and instructions, so I could see how someone might've just saw time and date party and just been like, okay. Anyway. Alright, let's take a break and we'll be right back with some stuff from our listeners. All right. We are back. We have a voicemail.
Voicemail: Hi, this is Sue from San Diego. I'm calling about the listener who was asking about comfortable shoes. Am totally devoted to Paul Green Shoes. They are super well constructed. They're made in unique. They are so comfortable. And I live in a city and I take the trolley and buses and walk around and I'm able to just get around without my feet hurting. Also, they last forever. I get my shoes just resold because a heel walker and then they continue to last. They're just super high quality. They are pricey, but they usually go on sale every so often at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's. So highly recommend Paul Green for Comfortable Stylist shoes. That last a very long time. Thank you.
Elise: Excellent. Okay, there you have
Doree: It. Alright, Paul Green. Have you ever worn a pair of Paul Green shoes?
Elise: No. I'm not even familiar. So this is new to me. I'm constantly learning from y'all on this show, but thank you for the suggestion and listener. Hope you were able to hear it. Yes. Alright. I have an email to read.
Doree: Yes, please.
Elise: Hi, Elise and Doree. I have a small family, just me, my husband, and our five-year-old and our extended family doesn't live close by. I love our little family, but there's something about Thanksgiving that gets me down. I grew up with my mom hosting big multifamily holidays and every year I get a little sad that we don't have that kind of community or maybe we could, but I'm typically the hostess and I'm just not up for it for Thanksgiving. I've done it in the past and the pressure gets to me this year. I've also decided I don't want to cook it all because last year I cooked the whole Thanksgiving shebang for us three and it was not enjoyable. I've abdicated all Thanksgiving plans to my husband this year, so I can sit on the couch and watch the parade with a cup that is half Bailey's, half coffee. But I'm curious if you have any ideas on how to make this holiday still feel special when it won't be that different from any other night with my family. It sounds like her family unit is similar to your store, like her husband and a five-year-old son
Doree: And living apart from family.
Elise: Yes. Yes. So any ideas?
Doree: So we are on an every other year schedule where every other year we do big Thanksgiving with our whole family. So last year we went to Boston and my brother and sister and their families came and we had Thanksgiving with my parents, but then this year is the off year, but because we can't afford to go anywhere, my parents are coming here because they don't have anywhere to go because it's our year. So they're coming here. But we have done Thanksgiving. We were actually talking about this last night because I think two years ago we went to a friend's for Thanksgiving. Someone invited us over, which was super nice. I mean, the one thing I'll say is that I am now a big fan of getting Thanksgiving from Whole Foods.
Elise: I've done that before.
Doree: If there's a nicer grocery store in a local chain in your city here in LA, you can get Thanksgiving at Bristol Farms or Gelson's and it's really good and it feels a little expensive, but it's not as expensive as going out to dinner and you don't have to cook Thanksgiving because honestly, cooking Thanksgiving, that's the glorious part. Cooking Thanksgiving is such a pain, it's so much work. People prep for days. I'm just like, I don't want to do that. Matt, whenever we have made Thanksgiving, Matt has cooked the Turkey and Matt is really good at cooking the Turkey, but even he's like, I don't really want to cook a Turkey. It's like
Elise: A lot of work. I don't feel like it. Yeah, I like doing it, but I just don't think I want to This year it's just brining it the night before.
Doree: So I would look into that now. You can now. And also sometimes restaurants will have a takeout Thanksgiving that you can buy. I would do that. And then in terms of making it special, I think coming up with traditions, it's kind of fun, even if it feels forced or fake. I didn't grow up celebrating Christmas because I'm Jewish, and so we've kind of instituted some of our own Christmas traditions. So every year on Christmas I make cinnamon rolls in the morning,
Elise: Just
Doree: Random. But now it's a thing that I do. You know what I mean? And you could do the same thing for Thanksgiving or any other holiday. You could say, we go on a walk as a family. It doesn't have to be something elaborate or crazy, but it can be like, now this is what we do as a family. We make cinnamon rolls, we go on a walk, whatever. I dunno. Do you have anything like that, Elise?
Elise: Well, we have birthday traditions for every member of the family. The egg roll that has been passed down since my grandmother for the holidays when I lived on the East coast, I have a lot of extended family there. So we had those big multifamily thanksgivings here on the west coast for the past few years post covid, I think we've gone away. So we haven't been here, but we do have holiday traditions. We do. We always make Christmas cookies and take them to all of our neighbors, and sometimes it's an opportunity to meet our neighbors. Oh, that's so nice. We don't know them all. We should do that. We dunno. Our neighbors, we do that kind of thing. Oh, you don't? Yeah, it's a great opportunity then. I mean, who doesn't want cookies? It's great. And then especially from kids too, so it's totally, but this year is our first holidays with Oscar, so I'm trying to figure out whether he's going to be able to keep it together to do holiday photos, which is a little separate from Thanksgiving. But yeah, I don't really have a plan yet this year. And caller, you are reminding me that I need to because it is November. Holy
Doree: Crap. Holy crap.
Elise: Rob's side of the family, they're all musicians. And in fact, back in the day, the ancestral pearlstein out in Poland, they were traveling musicians and so they were called the musical Pearlstein. And so they have a jam session after Thanksgiving every year. Oh gosh, that's
So fun.
And he has that 100 and 3-year-old uncle, the drummer, the jazz drummer, uncle Leo, and he drums on a table, he brings his brush and it's pretty rad. So yeah, I mean, I love the idea of creating something that you do every year because it's not too late. Your son is only five. Totally. And then these will be formative memories.
Doree: I would love to also hear from listeners in similar situations about what they do and any sort of family traditions around holidays that they've instituted for their own nuclear family. However you are defining family, whatever you do, I want to hear about it.
Elise: Yeah. Okay. Next email from a listener is about traveling with products. I've heard this come up several times, so I wanted to add my approach. I buy travel sizes for the products I can and have travel containers. I love that. I refill with shampoo, lotion, body wash and face wash. I keep all of these packed in my travel toiletry bag so that I can just grab it and go as an anxious person. This has made packing for travel less stressful by removing a few things to worry about from my list. Great tip. I never unpack my travel toiletry bag unless I need to take it out to refill anything.
Doree: Yes.
Elise: You just don't have to think about it. You just throw it in your suitcase and everything's already in there. And then liquids tend to be the heaviest part of a lot of suitcases and bags. And so if you can keep your liquids to a minimum, that is a great travel hack.
Doree: Okay, thank you Elise and our listener. And we're going to take another short break and we will be right back. All right. We are back and we often have some Trader Joe's or Costco Rex in this portion of the show, speaking of traditions. But Elise, you want to read this email from a listener who has their own trader Joe's Rex.
Elise: Yeah. Now you don't need to hear one from us because we have two Trader Joe's racks from a listener who emailed in first the hair oil. It's just called Trader Joe's hair oil. It's 5 99 and it's been saving my life. I work in politics and elections and have not had a spare moment to get to go get a haircut in months. I have stick straight red hair that gets super dry at the ends when I need a trim. Usually hair oils immediately make my hair disgustingly greasy. But I was at TJ's and thought, what the hell, let's give it a try. And admittedly, I was also looking for a little self-care treat because this election has been tough. This oil is so light and soaks into my hair immediately. My mids and ends look and feel so healthy, soft, and moisturized. I never put it on my roots or scalp because my hair is finer there, but it's amazing everywhere else. 10 out 10. The second wreck is the frozen chop jay. Again, busy election equals frozen dinners. But this one honestly rules. I don't know if it's authentic, but I wanted some protein with it, so I added a soft boiled jammy egg on top, also 10 out 10. Anyway, sending love to everyone after a tough loss this week. But go to TJ's and get some noodles and hair oil, and I promise you'll feel at least a tiny bit better. You like
Doree: The job too? I do like the job. She and I agree that it is not quite filling enough for a full meal. So I like this suggestion of adding an egg. I feel like you could also add tofu to it and it would be really good.
Elise: Yeah,
Doree: Yeah. Whenever there's those things that are single serving sizes, I'm like, really? This is a serving size. My serving size is double this. Okay. But you know what? I know we said that we were seeding the Trader Joe's wrecks to listeners.
Elise: Oh, do you have one? But I do have one. Oh, yay. Okay. Yes, yes,
Doree: Yes. And I believe it is a seasonal offering.
Elise: Love
Doree: It. Is the cornbread crisps. Have you
Elise: Had these? Oh, where is it? It's in like, no, I haven't even
Doree: Seen them. I think they're new. I think, I don't know. Don't quote me on this. Okay. They're in the chip section,
Elise: Cornbread crisps.
Doree: Okay. On the package, they say they're a sweet and salty cornbread snack and they're basically cornbread chips. They're really good.
Elise: Yeah, I imagine they could be because of the sweetness of cornbread.
Doree: Yes. You have the sweet and salty. I thought these were were excellent. Personally, I can't wait to give it a try time for a grocery run. It looks like they're not new. I'm seeing on the Trader Joe's Reddit subreddit that they, at least a year ago, someone posted about them. But again, I don't know if they're seasonal, so they might be like an autumnal thing.
Elise: Yeah, I'm guessing they're not always around because otherwise we'd be more familiar.
Doree: Yes, exactly. But I was like, ooh. Okay, very good. Oh, also, also, also, have you had the Trader Joe's spicy tempura seaweed snack?
Elise: No, we usually just get the roasted seaweed snack. Plain or teriyaki maybe.
Doree: Okay. You got to try this. It is the spicy tempura. It's really good. I think it is an imitation of this other, there's another seaweed snack that Henry gets that's more expensive. Not at Trader Joe's. That's a tempura seaweed snack, but not spicy. So I think these are too spicy for Henry, but they are perfect for me and for me. They're so good. I thought these were excellent.
Elise: Okay.
Doree: I will find them. So yeah, you got to try them. So those are my two
Elise: Recommendations and I love what the listener said about how just go to TJ's and get some noodles and hair oil and you might feel a tiny bit better.
Doree: So true. People have been talking about the trader leave-in conditioner as being a dupe for the way conditioner leave in conditioners. Really? I
Elise: Didn't know that. Yeah,
Doree: So I wonder if this hair oil is a dupe. If it's a dupe for the way hair oil. I am on board because I love that hair oil. So I will get some in report back.
Elise: I'll get some for Ava because she's really into the whey products in general and they're too expensive for a child, I think. Okay.
Doree: Alright, well thanks everyone for listening. Write in, call in, text us, let us know what's going on. Alright, we'll talk to you soon.
Elise: Bye. Bye.
Doree: Bye.