Mini-Ep 402: *Active Listening Noises*
Doree and Elise hear from listeners about Elise’s active listening, a Forever35 book club, healing some scalp irritation or facial ingrown hairs, and the Costco breakfast recs that are dividing the internet.
Mentioned in this Episode
clindamycin and tretinoin
Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Medium Roast Breakfast Blend at Costco
Belgian Boys Mini Pancakes
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Transcript
Doree: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise: And I'm Elise Hugh. And we are just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Doree: This is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. As we always like to remind everyone, we are podcast hosts. We are not medical or mental health experts. Sometimes things are just outside of our purview.
Elise: And for those things go to your mental health or medical experts.
Doree: Yeah, exactly. So Elise, how's it going?
Elise: Well, just before we started recording, we had a bit of a skincare meltdown over here. Oh no. But not by me, by my now 9-year-old daughter who has spent too much time in the sun and, oh, no. I think might've gotten her first facial sunburn. And she's like, my face, it's stinging. It's stinging. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror. And so not only is it physically painful, I think it's emotionally difficult because she looks red. And then I compounded the problem by saying like, oh, don't worry, it will heal after you peel. And then she's like, I don't want to peel. And then I had to backtrack. Oh God, I was backpedaling furiously going, well, maybe you won't peel. Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe you won't peel. Well, maybe I made that up. Oh, no. So yeah, we have some high drama over here over sunburn, but if you've never had it before, it is very painful. So I'm going to rush out and get some aloe vera. If you listeners have any advice or products that you like regarding treating sunburn, we are all ears over here at the Hugh household. Over hug
Doree: Over Hugh. Yeah, I'd love to hear some sunburn tips too, knocking on wood that I don't have to use them, but you never know.
Elise: That's rough.
Doree: You never know.
Elise: It's rough. Yeah.
Doree: So Elise, I want to kick things off today with just some feedback and comments that we've gotten on some recent episodes. Yeah, love it. Okay, so first we got a text that said, Elise, I love how you comment slash reply during listener voicemails, smiley face Ka from Connecticut.
Elise: Yeah, I try to, yes. And people, this is something that, it's an improv thing, just like yes, but also it's an NPR thing because an NPR, there's this tendency, NPR can be seen as kind of stuffy, right? So there's this tendency for, especially if you have a long-winded answer from a guest, for the guest to seem like they're in outer space
Doree: Because
Elise: They're just speaking the entire time and then the host is silent. And so we've been really encouraged to be like, yes, just to make sure that folks know that they are still in a conversation with someone. But I'm not sure it works that well with voicemail. With a voicemail, because with voicemail, it's not like somebody is live with you. But thank you, Kat.
Doree: Well, we did get another email that is perhaps a counterpoint to this first listener's text who said hello. I'm a longtime listener who has written in a few times, and I wanted to let you know that I love that the minis are back and I love Elise. Yay.
I'm so glad you decided to move forward and continue the pod. I do have one piece of feedback that I hope you'll take with the kindness I extended as a fellow active listener. I love that Elise sometimes says yes or when you're listening to voicemails, but that often means I can't actually hear the caller. I love you hear both of your voices, but it's also so fun to hear the callers who are often hilarious and insightful and clearly love the show as much as I do. Thanks for everything you do to keep us sane and entertained. I just thought that was so funny because point and counterpoint. Yes. Point and
Elise: Counterpoint. Yes, exactly. Okay. I will try and toe the line. And also it really depends on some of the voicemail recording quality too. Totally. So I'll especially make sure, or we can drop out the sound when we're editing down these episodes when there are unclear voicemails. So it doesn't sound like a good quality recording is going over it.
Doree: Yes. And because I'm the one who's kind of running the voicemails or playing the voicemails, if I want to say something, I can stop them, but you can't. So it does make it more challenging flying
Elise: Over here.
Doree: Yeah, you're flying blind. You're flying blind. But thank you both listeners, your feedback is taken in the spirit with which it was intended and we love hearing. We had talked a little bit about possibly doing some sort of Forever35 book club
Elise: We did,
Doree: Which we are still kind of thinking about and figuring out. But we did get some thoughts on that. A listener had suggested that we do kind of focus on self-help books, which I was kind of mixed on and I think you were as well. And this listener said, I agree with not wanting a focus on self-help books as mentioned, that would be too close to buy the book, which is back as how to be Fine. I liked your recent app discussing what you were reading and listening to, et cetera. Have a great rest of the weekend and stay cool. And this listener is referring to the Patreon episode where we talked about our current pop culture and book recommendations, which is an episode that we'll be doing monthly. The beginning of every month
Elise: It drops. Yeah, it drops at the beginning of every month.
Doree: So that's been a fun little addition to the Patreon. And someone else just said, love the book club idea. Please do this.
Elise: Great.
Doree: The enthusiasm seems to be there, Elise. I will say
Elise: I'm enthusiastic about it. We just need to figure out the structure of it. And a good payoff for the listeners too. I'd love to actually be able to talk with the authors of
The
Books we pick ideally. That'd be cool. Totally. So Doree and I are putting our heads together and strategizing.
Doree: Yes. So more on that to come. And then I had talked, I think a week or so ago about one of my evening walks with my dog
Elise: Though. Yes.
Doree: And how it was really showing me a side of the neighborhood that was new to me, the evening vibe. I was talking about a Monday night where I'd walked by a house that seemed to be having quite a lively gathering in their backyard. And I was like, wow, okay. Monday night into it. And I was wondering about the nature of this gathering and someone wrote in with a very interesting point that I had not thought about. So I really appreciated this perspective. Hello, pause the pod during your most recent mini app after hearing Doree talk about her neighbor's Monday night party as someone with an untraditional work schedule, Monday Day off Broadway worker here thought I'd point out the challenges of finding time to gather with friends when you work in live entertainment in the service industry. All the quizzical looks I've gotten through the years when I tell someone I can't attend their party on a Saturday night because I'm working, have really piled up feeling a little like the Sesame Street song over here. But there are lots of people with lots of different kinds of jobs in the neighborhood to make it all work
Elise: In the neighborhood. In the neighborhood. That's a great point. And it would make sense that there would be more Monday night parties in Los Angeles because there are so many entertainment workers who are working their tails off on weekends, often Sunday afternoons for matinees Friday nights, Saturday nights to entertain us to provide great plays and musicals and other live shows. So that's a great point.
Doree: Yeah, I really appreciated this. So yeah, I mean, we'll never know unless I knock on these people's door, which I don't think is going to happen. We we'll likely never know. Another funny thing that I just want to note before we take a break is in the mornings when I walk by in the mornings, Henry usually comes with me and oftentimes if we walk by someone, they'll just be like, hello, good morning. Or friendly neighborhood. And Henry is always
Elise: Greeting.
Doree: Yeah. Henry's always like, mama, do you know that person? I'm like, usually no. And he's like, why did they say hi to you? And it's just so interesting to me to see him sort of process social norms and yeah, I don't really have any more profound statement about that, but it's like, oh, well, sometimes it's just a nice thing to do to say hi or good morning to people and he's sort of like interesting.
Elise: Right, right. Yeah. And my kids get completely different experiences there because I often say hi to strangers and make a lot of small talk, but their dad, my ex-husband is very wary of speaking to strangers and making any small talk. So when they're walking down the sidewalk with dad, he's not likely to be like, oh, hi. And then I, interesting. So I'm wondering which parent they're going to take after that's really ing when they're in similar
Doree: Situations, huh. I guess we'll just find out. We'll find out. We'll find out. Alright. Before we take a break, I do want to remind everyone that they can call or text us at (781) 591-0390. Please call or text us. We love getting your comments, your questions, your thoughts, your feedback. We love it all. You can also email us at Forever35 podcast@gmail.com and we have a website Forever35 podcast.com. We have links there to everything we mentioned on the show. We're also on Instagram at Forever three five podcast and we have a newsletter at Farber five podcast com slash newsletter. We sent out a new issue on Thursday, so if you didn't get that, what are you doing? Sign up. And we have our favorite products at shop my US slash forever five. Alright, we'll be right back. Okay. We have returned, we're back. So Elise, I think it was last week or the week before, I forget. Recently we heard from a listener whose child had acne on the, I guess the nape of their neck or their lower Yeah, the of the neck. Yeah, their lower head, the lower area of the back of their, I always think of it wasn't on their neck though because it was above the hairline.
You know what I mean? It was in their scalp.
Elise: Is there a name for that particular area?
Doree: Lower scalp, upper, the lower, lower scalp, the lower back scalp.
Elise: I don't know. But now we have a Minit title. Now we have show title
Doree: And we've got, I felt like I didn't have a great answer for this listener.
Elise: Me neither.
Doree: But we did hear from a couple of listeners who had some thoughts. Okay, this listener wrote, Hey, Doree Elise, I had bad back acne and peral dermatitis. And until very recently, I didn't really realize that you have to use the prescription stuff every single day for a while before you start to see results. I don't mean this to sound condescending, but my back has completely cleared up and so has my face in five months of using Clindamycin for my face and Tretinoin every day.
Elise: Okay.
Doree: That's just a good reminder in general,
Elise: Most of this just to actually follow the prescription,
Doree: Well actually follow the prescription. Also, most of this stuff doesn't happen overnight, and I think that's true for most skincare things. You're not going to see the quote results instantly. It often takes a while.
Elise: That's the thing. I mean, dermatologists are often saying that if you're going to try a new product, you should try it for at least three months because it takes a while to actually see the results or test something long enough and consistently enough for it to work in the way that it's intended or for it to not work. Totally. Might find out a product doesn't work very quickly actually, but especially if you're having a reaction, if it's something you're not sure about, then it's worth testing it out for a longer period of time.
Doree: And we don't know how long our original listeners' child had been trying this stuff, so I mean, it's possible they've been trying it for six months and it didn't work. But
Elise: We don't
Doree: Know. But this is just a good reminder.
Elise: And we got another email about this too that says, I used to deal with quite a bit of irritation at base of hair slash scalp. It cleared up after I stopped showering right before bed and sleeping on a wet head slash wet hair. Not sure how long his hair is, but might help.
Doree: This is funny because I historically was always a morning, but lately when I play tennis at night, I shower after I get home. And so I have been, it feels weird to blow dry my hair when I'm about to go to sleep, even though I guess it shouldn't, but it just does, like why? And so I often do go to bed with damp hair and it's kind of uncomfortable, but I hadn't really thought about it in this way, and now I'm like, Ooh, maybe I should
Elise: Just be, could it cause acne?
Doree: Yeah. Maybe I should just be blow drying my hair just to not style it, but just to get it dry. Dry enough. Dry enough. Yeah.
Elise: Is showering before bed a regular routine for you? Now, I know that you would shower after you play tennis because Doree, I have seen you after you play tennis and yes, you should shower right after.
Doree: Yeah,
Elise: Because
Doree: Sidebar, very sweaty sidebar. We talked about this a little bit on the Patreon casual chat, but Elise came to watch me play tennis last week. I couldn't tell if you were like, oh, we'll just go out after. And I was like, okay, I don't think you understand. I was like, I will be in no shape to go out after I will be sweaty and stinky and just feel gross. And then you got to see that. I
Elise: Sure did. I sure did. And we did not go to a bar or anything nearby did we Took a little boba tea stop. Right. We just strolled around the park. But it does raise the question of whether, since you play tennis at night often, do you just always shower at night now?
Doree: Well, sometimes I often shower at night, but sometimes if I work out in the morning, I will shower in the morning, but I'm not as often waking up and showering. You know what I mean? That used to be my general routine, and that doesn't really happen anymore. But this is interesting. This is an interesting thing for me to be thinking about. Okay. We got a text that is semi-related to this. Someone wrote, sending out the Forever35 signal for ingrown hairs on the face slash neck. I have been experiencing ones that are deep running parallel to the surface rather than curling. Any tips for helping surface these buggers? They end up looking like cystic acne puffing up under my skin from irritation, any miracle products to save me from a picking nightmare.
Elise: I also need this. And there's got to be certain exfoliants that y'all use that are better than others. Doree, what do you do?
Doree: So I fortunately do not have this issue because I used to have a really bad skin picking problem, and if I did, my face and neck would look like a war zone. However, I feel like I've known a lot of men who get ingrown hairs from shaving, and they almost all universally use something called tend skin. 10 skin solution reduces appearances of ingrown hairs. Use 10 skin solution after shaving or post waxing to reduce bumps on legs, underarms, bikini lines, chin, neck or face. It looks like they have their solution. They have a serum.
Elise: Okay.
Doree: It looks like they've, well,
Elise: You answered my question.
Doree: They've broadened their product line since I first encountered them, but it's still pretty limited. I mean, this is what they do and it looks like you can also get a sample for just 2 95 shipping. They'll send you a little sample of it on their website.
Elise: Okay. Because my next question was going to be, can I use it on my bikini line because that's where I get ingrown hairs. And there's various, at my waxing place they sell, they're trying to upsell you constantly and they sell various exfoliants that are specifically for that area. But I don't know that any of them are better than the others. And it sounds like 10 skin is for everywhere.
Doree: Yeah. I mean, so I'm going to give it a shot. I feel like I knew people using this 20 years ago. I feel like this is the gold standard of ingrown hair treatment,
Elise: The og. Okay.
Doree: I ended up having to get my bikini line lasered because every time I would get it waxed, I would get the worst ingrown hairs and the skin picking problem was intense and not great. Do you want to read this next one?
Elise: Sure. Hi, Doree Elise, could you talk more about the brand beauty of Jos? I keep getting their targeted ads on Insta and on a recent episode, Elise mentioned she used their sunscreen. I'd never heard of them before. The ads. Say more if you'd recommend them. Thanks. Yeah. Beauty of Joss San is a Korean skincare line that originated from Korea. And I first started using it or heard about it when I was testing out a bunch of Korean skincare while I lived there. I like it. It's very gentle. Their whole marketing thing is using really natural ingredients, but in formulations that are scientifically advanced. And this is what you'll find with a lot of Asian beauty or K beauty products where they sell these products with both new and old. So it's like we use these old ancient ingredients that are supernatural and rice water, la, la, la, which they use in their serums, but they also are like, yes, but we also have this new newfangled science and technology that helps us know exactly what you need. And so beauty of Joon kind of does that and they do it well. I really like their sunscreen stick. That was the product that I recommended. But they do also have some serums that I think they have an essence that I like and would recommend. So check it out. Yeah, try it out.
Doree: Okay.
Elise: It's funny that your Instagram algorithm has been listening to the podcast and is sending you beauty of Jo on products. It's always listening.
Doree: It is always listening. Oh, that's funny. Okay, we're going to take another short break, Elise, and we'll be back with a couple of voicemails. Okay. We'll be back. All right. We are back and we're going to play a voicemail. So Elise, this is pretty much for you.
Elise: Okay. Okay. I'm going to stay here and keep my, it's to a minimum. So you might not hear me during this voicemail, but I'll be okay. Here
Voicemail: We go. Hey there. Forever35 team, long time listener here. I was so sad when Kate left, but I'm actually really enjoying the new episodes. And I have a question for Elise, maybe for one of your mini episodes or casual chat episodes from something you mentioned, Elise a few episodes ago. It sounds like you and your husband are a blended family. You mentioned that he has sons and that you're both divorced and sounded like your daughters are from a previous marriage. I hope I didn't get that wrong, but that's the way I understood it. And I know from personal experience, I'm also part of the blended family, how extremely difficult it can be to make that work. And from how you talk about your family, it sounds like there's actually a really good vibe going on with your daughters and your partner and everything. So I was wondering if you might talk about that and share how you made that work or how you are still making that work, would really appreciate your insights.
Elise: Thank you so much for the question. After I first heard this voicemail, I played it for Rob and his first answer was, it's because I'm great. That's it. Full stop. It's like, oh yeah, that's good vibes because I'm great. But no, the non Robb answer is that it's a work in progress and there are so many different people involved and so many different characters. And with blended family situations, the ingredients can be so vastly different. Some people have excellent co-parenting relationships with their exes, other people have caustic ones. My ex and I have a pretty functional and affirmative relationship as co-parents with our girls. But I would love it to be even better. I would love it for my ex and Rob to be able to all hang out. And I have some family. There are some families that I know where that's the case where the ex is and the new partners all spend holidays together or do dinners together and are truly quite blended.
And so Rob and my girls have an excellent relationship. He's been in the picture for four years, so it's been a while. So I think one of the responses to this is just that proximity often breeds closeness. The fact that he has celebrated so many milestones with us and gone on so many vacations together, but it is not necessarily true the other way around with me and his sons, because his sons are in another state. So in his divorce, the wife got to move away. And so the mom of the boys and the boys moved away to Arizona. And then Rob has to go back and forth between the two states. And I don't always go back and forth, of course. And the boys aren't often in Los Angeles. And so I don't have the same closeness with Rob's sons that he has with my daughters.
It's more like that he has blended in with us and the Hugs and the Hue girls and less that I have blended in with his side of the family or his boys. We are going on vacation together and going to, all the kids are going to go to do a long weekend in Sedona later in the fall. And we try as much as we can to get everybody together. But it is not an ideal situation in which the blended family is all in one geographic place. We have been really fortunate that Rob is great and his relationship with the girls is really quite secure
Doree: And lovely. I love that. Thank you for answering that question. I love that. We love that we have divorce representation on the podcast.
Elise: Now I'm here for the diversity, the marriage and
Doree: Relationship diversity. On a totally different note, we got a request to always have Trader Joe's recommendations at the end of the podcast, but that has also kind of become like Trader Joe's and Costco. And so we did get a voicemail about Costco, so I'm going to play it now.
Voicemail: Hello Elise and Doree. I'm still trying out new ways to say both of your names together in different orders or whatever. It's Katie, it's worth of July. Wow. Anyway, just grinding coffee and thinking about you guys because Doree, I found a Costco coffee bean situation that I really like. They don't always have it, but the coffee bean and tea leaf brand, medium roast breakfast blend comes in a big at Costco. And I'm a coffee too, so I didn't love the Kirkland brand one. It's fine. But anyway, this one's pretty good. Medium coffee bean and tea breakfast blend.
Elise: This is great. The coffee bean and tea leaf brand at Costco.
Doree: Yeah. Hot tip. And I have a Costco product recommendation that I got on a recent trip to Costco. And I don't know if you've tried these, Elise, but they're the Belgian boys mini pancakes.
Elise: No.
Doree: Okay.
Elise: This is a yes.
Doree: I thought these were delicious. The internet seemed somewhat divided on them. They reminded me a little bit of these mini pancakes that I used to get in Chinatown in New York on the street. There would be a street vendor who would sell them for, I don't know, $3 and he would have almost like a waffle iron of little pancakes and you would pour the batter in and then give you a little bag of delicious. The street
Elise: Food.
Doree: Street food. Yeah, exactly. And these remind me of, I haven't been able to find those anywhere ever again. I feel like I have to go back to that specific street corner in Chinatown in New York. And these are not as good as those, but they're quite tasty. And I put a little whipped cream on top. Yum. And they're just like these delicious little treats.
Elise: That sounds like a great snack for the kids too.
Doree: Yes. Yes. Well, it's funny, I was like, what do people think of these? And people seemed on the Costco subreddit, people seemed very divided on them. Some people said they had a weird aftertaste. I did not find that to be the case. And I feel like I'm, I'm pretty picky about that kind of stuff, but maybe someone else is pickier people said they like them in the air fryer. I don't have an air fryer, so I can't attest to that.
Elise: And
Doree: Then many people were like, my toddler loves these. And I was like, okay.
Elise: Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters. So if they pass the toddler test,
Doree: That's so true. That should mean that they're great. So I think you can get them at places that are not Costco, but the Costco box contains many, many of them. Okay. So that is my recommendation for the day.
Elise: Nobody asked me for this, but I do have a Trader Joe's recommendation. I just discovered these. They might've been there all along, but in the nut section I found a bag of everything but the bagel nut duo and it's almonds and cashews with everything but the bagel seasoning.
Doree: Oh, interesting.
Elise: In a bag. And I just hoovered a bag up on the ride to Palm Springs recently. Wow. Ate the whole bag and consumed the whole thing.
Doree: Yum.
Elise: I house that bag of everything, but the Bagel Trader Joe's almonds and cashews.
Doree: Yum. I love that. I love that suggestion. All right, well thanks Elise. Thanks listeners. And we will talk to you soon.
Elise: Talk to you next time. Bye.
*Transcripts are AI generated.