Mini-Ep 379: Slow Down The Spiral

Kate and Doree learn a fun way to use Vaseline on cute baby animals and hear from listeners looking for a stylish but inexpensive raincoat, a cold-weather skincare routine, and advice on how to deal with a family member taking out her stress on everyone else. 

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Transcript

 

Kate: Hello, and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer, 

Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir. 

Kate: And we are not experts. 

Doree: We're not. We're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums, 

Kate: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. 

Doree: Please remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. 

Kate: If you want to reach us, our voicemail number is (781) 591-0390, and our email is Forever35podcast@gmail.com. 

Doree: And you can visit our website Forever35podcast.com for links to everything you mentioned on the show. We are on Instagram @Forever35podcast, and we have a Forever35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/Forever35podcast. The password is serums. You can sign up for our newsletter at forever35podcast.com/newsletter and shop all the products mentioned on our show at shopmy.us/Forever35. 

Kate: Shall we just hop right into some listener feedback? 

Doree: Yeah, let's do it. 

Kate: Okay. Well, someone wrote to us and said, slow down the spiral needs to go on something for your next merch collab perfection. And I was like, did we say this? I guess we did. 

Doree: I guess we did. I don't remember it. 

Kate: It's possible I said it 

Doree: I think you did. I think you were saying slow down the spiraling of 

Kate: Ooof Yeah. Of the brain, of the, the panic. Yes. I mean, my whole day-to-day is trying to figure out how to slow down the spiral. So I like this. I like the idea of slowing down the spiral. I would wear that on a t-shirt. 

Doree: Yeah, why not? 

Kate: Okay. Well, thank you to our new creative director who wrote in with that idea. Oh, I love it. Okay, here's another email we received. Hey, Kate and Doree. Okay, for this starts with a compliment, but you know what? I'm going to share it first. Some appreciation. Thank you both for creating such a remarkable community. The podcast, the Facebook groups, your voices and experiences and advice make my life so much, but happier. Thank you. Well, thank you. 

Doree: Oh, thank you. 

Kate: That's really nice. Thank you. Second Vaseline, I think I've got a use that no one has mentioned yet. That also ties into another Forever35 theme. Okay. Pasty butt 

Doree: pasty butt? 

Kate: We're raising, pasty butt. They continue. We are raising chicks in our house right now. They'll move out to their coop when it's warm enough and they're big enough. They're so fuzzy and adorable and fun, but sometimes they get a condition called pasty butt where their poop accumulates on their butts and can even plug it up. And sadly, if left untreated, they can die. So when you see pasty butt, you give them a little butt bath, dry them with a hair dryer, and then smear on Vaseline, it destroys their look. Their fluff gets all matted and greasy and they look terrible, but their butts heal up and they don't paste up Vaseline for the win again. 

Doree: Oh my gosh. 

Kate: I just thought you'd love this intersection of butt care, cute baby animals, and Vaseline. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: Now this is a real thing because if you Google pasty butt, it comes up. 

Doree: Wow. Okay. 

Kate: Like chickens get, chicks get pasty butt the same way we get dry scalp. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: I know their little butts. 

Doree: Got little butts. 

Kate: Get coated with little poops. 

Doree: I'm sorry to laugh. 

Kate: How can you not laugh? I'm pretty sure this person wrote in knowing this would give us a chuckle, right? That they were going to be like, they're going to chuckle over the fact that this is called pasty butt and I'm smearing Vaseline on chicken's butts. 

Doree: I mean, you do what you got to do, I guess. 

Kate: Look, Vaseline in my humble opinion, is a product that can really be used for anything. And can I actually break some exciting news here on the podcast? 

Doree: Yes. Oh my gosh, go on 

Kate: I have never shared this before. And this is Big Doree. I have in my possession a Vaseline all over Body Balm Stick. Have you ever seen one of these? 

Doree: No. 

Kate: Okay. It's Vaseline, but in a stick. 

Doree: Whoa. 

Kate: Almost like a deodorant. It comes, it's like a circular hard stick of Vaseline and you can push it up and then just smear it onto weird parts of your body, like your pasty butt if you're a person with a pasty butt. But I use it. I use it for, if I'm doing kind of an added occlusive moisture trapping situation at night, I'll just use the stick, or I'll use it on my lips. But I love it. I just think it's like a cool tool, 

Doree: A cool tool. 

Kate: A cool tool. The Vaseline all over body Balm jelly stick. 

Doree: Wow. Okay. Alright. 

Kate: And I'm flying in a few days and I think I'm going to, I always travel with Vaseline, but I was like, I'm going to bring this because it's easy to throw in my bag. It's enormous. So when I use it on my lips, it looks like I'm like a, I don't want to say a dildo, but it's, it's big. It's not the size of a chapstick Doree, you know? Hold it in your hand with a grip. 

Doree: Okay. Fair. Fair. Wow. 

Kate: Okay. Yeah. Breaking news. 

Doree: That's exciting. 

Kate: Yeah, I love it. 

Doree: That's exciting. I'm excited for you. 

Kate: Thank you. 

Doree: Alright, I will read this next email. Hi Kat and Dor. I was so thrilled to read that you were doing a giving circle for Virginia. I'm a public health nurse in Northern Virginia, the liberal part of Virginia. Before my current position, I was doing home visiting with pregnant moms and their babies once born. I kept having moms ask, do you think I should buy diapers or food this week? I thought that was bananas because we are a wealthy county. So I did a deep dive and the more I learned, the more upset I became. Despite our county appearing wealthy on the surface, there are huge pockets of abysmal poverty, the kind that is absolutely heartbreaking. I've really thrown myself into food equity and access and made it my mission to improve things. My husband and I have been trying to change our county and state policy so that every child can have free breakfast and lunch. Currently our county has $780,000 of lunch debt, meaning that if a child owes money to the school because they were hungry at lunch, they can't graduate. How crazy is that? Virginia is extremely concerning right now and on the edge of banning books, whitewashing history that is being taught to our children further restricting abortions and more. One note redistricting occurred in Virginia and most people don't even know it. For example, we live in a new district and not one person I've talked to in our neighborhood even knew that how scary is that my husband and I don't have a lot of money to give, but are passionate about change. So we've started offering our home to host campaign meet and greets to support candidates that will make a difference at the state level. For example, we hosted someone running for state delegate of our new district. So my email's twofold. Thank you for making Virginia the focus of your giving circle. And if listeners cannot contribute financially, it would be great for them to get involved. Door knocking, making calls and hosting candidates are all hugely helpful. Keep putting on, you're amazing and I love you both. 

Kate: Wow. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: This is, you sound like you are walking the walk and doing such important work. So thank you listener for doing that. And if you are just hearing about our Giving circle for the first time, we are working again with the State's project to help the Virginia State Senate and the House of Delegates. So you can toot on over to our Virginia Giving Circle, donate however much you can. A little goes a long way. Our goal is $20,000. We've got a few months here. We're already at 9,443 at the time of this recording. We appreciate your support and your help. Yeah. And listener, we appreciate you. We really appreciate you. Thank you listener. 

Doree: Alright, Kate, should we take a little break here? 

Kate: Time to pause, hear for some of our spawns. 

Doree: Spawns. Okay. Alright. We'll be right back. 

Kate: Okay, babes, we're back. We've got some cold weather recs, needs requests. We've got folks who need our help. They need our support. 

Doree: Okay. Let's hear from them. 

Voicemail: Hi Kat and Dor. it's Maryanne. I have recently moved to Seattle and Im desperately looking for a functional raincoat that is still stylish is a huge part of self expression. And while I love North Face and everything in Patagonia, I have some of there more traditional, I guess, looking coats. I am just looking for something that I can wear day to day that isn't as intense, like a stutter or a cause. I got a stutterheim used for $60. I could never afford the four hundred dollar original price. But yeah, I'm wondering if you or any listeners have any suggestions or if maybe just something need get over. But would still like to be able to express myself, even when it is rainy, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear it. Thanks so much. I love y'all. You're a huge part of my week and my sanity, so thanks for everything you do. Bye. 

Kate: Well, I had to Google Sutter Sutter home. What was the name of that jacket? 

Doree: Sutter Heim. 

Kate: Sutter Heim 

Doree: Stutter. Heim. Stutter Heim. Stutter Heim raincoat 

Kate: That tells you I don't live in a rainy neighborhood or area. I was like the way that the familiarity with which this listener spoke of these raincoat brands. And I was like, I have never heard of stutter heim. Apparently they make very fancy raincoats. So look, this is, by the time you hear this recording, I will have just been in Seattle, so it couldn't be more timely. If you see me, listener, I hope we said hi to each other. The best, the most stylish raincoat I ever got was from r e I, just their generic r e i brand. And it was a great raincoat. It was kind of like sporty trench, I would say, with a hood, very functional, really water resistant for a very long time. But also, what about Uniqlo? 

Doree: Okay. I am on Uniqlo's website right now. Kate, they have a lot of raincoats that are out of stock. 

Kate: No, why? 

Doree: Yeah. So they have one raincoat called the Block Tech Half Coat. 

Kate: I'm looking at it now. 

Doree: That has some sizes left in black. All the other sizes? 

Kate: No, they have a natural, the natural. 

Doree: Natural, natural. They have some, they're out of the olive. The red has XL and X xl. 

Kate: It's on sale right 

Doree: Now. It's on sale. But then there's some other ones that are totally sold out. But I like UNIQLO as an option. 

Kate: I do too. I feel like I would look around, I mean, I love Uniqlo stuff. They make great kind of stylish basics. Oh man. 

Doree: I do know. 

Kate: I like this hooded coat too. They've got cool jackets right now. My thought would be to explore fashion. I don't know, does Zara have anything? That would be where I would go if you already have your stutter Heim, you've already got your fancier one. 

Doree: There's also, there's a couple of cute ones at Everlane that are not super cheap, but they're cheaper than stutter Heim. I would kind of scope out those types of places because unfortunately it's not really rain. It's still rainy, obviously, but places aren't selling rain. A lot of raincoats or they're out of them right now. Yeah, because it's kind of a weird time to be buying a raincoat. I mean, I don't really think it is, but the clothing, I'm saying the clothing companies think that it is. 

Kate: Also, I am also looking at Athleta or Athleta and they have some raincoats on sale right now. 

Doree: Madewell has a couple that are cute but not that cheap. 

Kate: Yeah, I mean this is part of the affordability here, right? Everything's kind of landing in this above a hundred dollars range except at Uniqlo. 

Doree: I'm wondering, 

Kate: Talk to me 

Doree: If this, let me see if they still have sizes. There's a cute raincoat. It doesn't have a hood, but there's a cute raincoat at the gap, but they only have it in a small 

Kate: Now who makes a raincoat without a hood? What is, that's not a real raincoat. 

Doree: I'm with you. I'm with you. 

Kate: That's not, people in Seattle will scoff at a raincoat without a hood. 

Doree: Oh gosh. Yeah. Look, I, I don't know. I didn't design it. 

Kate: I mean, look, we need to hear from the people who live in the Pacific Northwest, who live in London, who live in, not, it's really San Francisco, I don't know, cities on the East coast where it rains. What is your like go-to affordable still looks cool. Raincoat. 

Doree: There is a British company called Jewels, J O U L E S. And they do have an American site, Joules USA, and they're known for their raincoats, but they only have, they have one available right now, but again, not that cheap. 

Kate: Now Doree, here's where I'm going. 

Doree: Where are you going? Tell me where you're going. 

Kate: Here's where I'm going. I'm going over to old landsend.com. 

Doree: Sorry. Jules does have more in stock. Okay. Oh, actually they have some really cute ones. They have this 10 B Packable waterproof jacket that seems to be available in many sizes. It is $88. I think it's really cute. 

Kate: That's a pretty good, a good price. 

Doree: Yeah. So I would look at Joules and Kate's going to tootaloot on over. 

Kate: Yeah, I'm tooting over to Land's End now. Land's End is someplace that I go when I'm like, I need a thing that works. I need a bathing suit. That feels good. 

Doree: Yeah. 

Kate: They have a very cute raincoat called the woman's women's waterproof hooded packable raincoat. Now, would you call this stylish? I would, but we might have different opinions about what stylish is. But it's a $90 raincoat with a promo waterproof hooded packable raincoat. And it's, it's cute. It's just a cute little black jacket. I also want to say I just Googled and Columbia has a cute kind of, it's a sporty raincoat, but with a belt, like a little trench belt for 79 99 women's, pardon my trench train jacket, which I want to say I love that part. 

Doree: LOL. 

Kate: And that goes up to X X xl. And they've got one x two x three x. And that's cute. I might actually be buying this for myself. Oh, this is cute. It's on sale. They've got a variety of cute colors. You could get a traditional yellow or you could get a black or a navy. There's kind of a minty green. 

Doree: What? 

Kate: This might be where I go, because you know Columbia's going to get the job done. They're going to keep it waterproof. 

Doree: Totally. 

Kate: Right. 

Doree: Yes. You don't have to worry about that with them. I'm with you on that. 

Kate: I might be buying this coat. Okay. Pardon my trench. Indeed. All right. Let's hear from another cold weather listener. 

Voicemail: Hi, Kat and Dor. My name is Paula. I'm coming from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, where the climate is not the best. It's very dry, very cold here, and today is my birthday. So I would call into the pod, which is my favorite by the way, and ask for a product recommendation for both a vitamin C serum and a retinol. So I suffer from eczema mostly around my eyes, but specifically under one eye. And some products just really flare it up. And I would love to be able to nourish my skin properlyi. Its so dry here, and I know my skin would love it and I thought as a treat to myself on my birthday I would ask for a recommendation and treat myself to some new products cause I have no idea where it starts. I've tried Theron vitamin C serum. It didn't really work for me. I switched to the gloss vitamin C serum that is not working for I've, I'm just hoping you guys or the listeners can help me out and give me some vitamin C serum recommendations, add some retinal recommendations. Cause I have the same issue with those. And skin, our skin the best. We thanks so much for being the best host. 

Kate: All right. You want to know what I'm I use? I use the laroche post. Well, I'm getting, I'm using my working my way through a SkinCeuticals vitamin C serum that I have. And then I bought myself based on a listener recommendation, the LA ROCHE pose, vitamin C serum. 

Doree: I have a suggestion that might be annoying, but my suggestion is to go to the dermatologist 

Kate: Because she has dry skin. 

Doree: She has eczema. 

Kate: Eczema, yeah, that's a good suggestion. 

Doree: And I'm hesitant to recommend a retinol to you because I don't know if it's going to irritate your skin. And you could also be having a reaction to the vitamin C. So I would see a dermatologist and see what they have to say, because your skin sounds really sensitive and you could be reacting to various things in these products. And I don't want to recommend something to you that's going to irritate you. The one thing that I will say is that we have a sponsor, Glad Skin 

Kate: Oh, their stuff is so great. 

Doree: That makes stuff for people with eczema. And I have found all their stuff to be non irritating. 

Kate: Their stuff is great, 

Doree: So you could give them a try when you are, as if you're waiting to get in to see the dermatologist. They have a cream for eczema prone skin called Eczema Act. And I also really like their face wash. It's very gentle. So you could give that a shot. But otherwise, I'm a little hesitant to recommend specific products because of the nature of your skin. So I'm sorry about that, but I would prefer that you consult a professional. 

Kate: That's fair. That's good advice. I think 

Doree: Just partly just because this listener says that they've tried a few things that didn't work, and I don't want to send you down a rabbit hole. 

Kate: And make it worse 

Doree: And make it worse. And yeah, 

Kate: I think have you spend money on products that you then can't use? 

Doree: Totally. Totally. Okay. 

Kate: So I'm going to backtrack. Don't take, use anything that I'm using. Do what Doree says. 

Doree: Okay. Well, Kate, let's take another break. 

Kate: Great. We've got a complex email conundrum for us when we get back. 

Doree: All right. We'll be right back. 

Kate: Okay. We're going to end with this email question. Longtime listener, first time emailer. I'm getting married in May. Yay. However, my older sister's husband died unexpectedly very recently, and she found out that he had been cheating on her throughout their marriage. She's dealing with unimaginable grief and strain, and unfortunately, she is taking out her stress, taking out her stress on her family in truly horrible ways. After a showdown conflict, my parents and my sister are not on speaking terms. While I don't expect you or other listeners to have these have had these specific experiences, do you or others have tips for how to keep my wedding day stress free and positive Amid family drama? PS, this podcast got me into skincare for the first time in 2020, and truly changed my life. Wow. 

Doree: That's cool. 

Kate: Oh my goodness. This is tough. 

Doree: This is really tough. 

Kate: Okay, my thoughts. Doree, do you mind if I hop in? 

Doree: No, no, please, please. 

Kate: I think you should reach out to both of both your parents and your sister and approach them both with a lot of empathy and compassion. I think, especially your sister. And just say, I'm so excited you're going to be a part of my big day. I know that there's a lot of tension right now, but it's my hope that stays out of my, or in whatever way you want to phrase it, that is not brought to the wedding, and that we can just focus on my marriage to so-and-so. And I would really appreciate that. That's like, I don't need any gift, wedding gift. That's the biggest gift you could give to me, would just be calm and kindness and then maybe don't seat them at the same table. And I would say the other thing I would suggest is making sure your future spouse and maybe another person are looped in so that they can run Defense. Maybe not your spouse, but let's bring in some support so that there can be a buffer if there is drama between you and the drama. Right. Do you have other family members or friends who might be able to help with this? Because even with everybody coming in with the best of intentions at weddings, there's alcohol, there's other people, its emotional, your sister just lost their husband. I mean, just, yeah. So set up, put your team in place so you don't get, even if there is the drama, you are insulated from it. And I will say there was an incident at my wedding where 

Doree: No, there was? 

Kate: Yeah, I'll tell you, it's not for on air conversation. 

Doree: Oh, okay. 

Kate: But there was something that happened at my wedding, and my friends and my husband went out of my way, out of their way. So I didn't know about it until after the wedding. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: Which was such a generous gift because it was stressful for those folks involved. But yeah, they really, I, and I thought that, and they did that. I don't, I'd never even asked them to do anything like that, but it was just like they really were very thoughtful in that way. And so that would be my suggestion. 

Doree: Wow, that's really great that they stepped up like that. I think all of Kate's advice is so spot on. And the only thing that I would add is if your sister decides not to come to your wedding, to try not to take it personally. 

Kate: Yeah, that's a great point, Doree. Yeah. Yeah. For reasons that I think we don't even need to say. Right. 

Doree: Yeah. 

Kate: She's setting a boundary for herself. 

Doree: Yeah. Yeah. 

Kate: And congratulations to you. We hope that you have a great wedding day. 

Doree: Yes, congratulations. All right. I think that does it. Another mini up in the books, Kate 

Kate: Doree. We really just cover it all here on the show. 

Doree: We do. Alright, take care everybody. 

Kate: Bye. 

Doree: Bye. Bye. 

 
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