Mini-Ep 363: Brow Do You Do

Kate and Doree practice yoga with Adriene, then hear from listeners about retinols and in-shower moisturizers that actually work, drugstore brow pencil options, and standing tall and proud.


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Transcript

 

Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer. 

Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir. 

Kate: And we are not experts. 

Doree: We are not, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums. 

Kate: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you and we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability 

Doree: Indeed. But please remember, we are podcast host, we're not experts, and you are always encouraged to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. 

Kate: If you wanna reach us, our voicemail number is (781) 591-0390, and you can email us at Forever35podcast@gmail.com. And of course, you can text us at that number as well. 

Doree: Mm-hmm. 

Kate: Don't hesitate. Don't hesitate to text or call 

Doree: Please. And you can visit our website Forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mention on the show, we're on Instagram @Forever35podcast. We have a Forever35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/forever35podcast. The password is serums. We have a newsletter forever35podcast.com/newsletter. And you can shop our fav prods shopmy.us/forever35. 

Kate: And on a personal note, personal note, I wanna say thank you to the listener who sent me the glittery eggplant sticker to our podcast mailing address. That was really sweet. Oh, that was really sweet of you. 

Doree: So sweet. 

Kate: Doree has it. I haven't s I haven, I don't have it in my hand yet. It's with Doree because Doree checked the mail. 

Doree: Yeah, I check the mail, I check our PO box and every so often something 

Kate: Oh, opened up the letter 

Doree: Yeah, something comes just addressed to Kate. So I always check in with her and ask if she wants me to open it. She usually says yes, 

Kate: No, Don't open my mail. 

Doree: And yeah, it was this really sweet note from a listener and she included some stickers, which was super fun. 

Kate: One of which was a sparkly eggplant. 

Doree: Yes. 

Kate: I feel like the spirit of my grandfather would be so happy because he grew eggplant and cooked eggplant. And to know that that legacy is living on through me in an entirely different way, but still eggplant focused. I think he would be proud. 

Doree: Well, I'm happy for that. 

Kate: Yeah. RIP according to grampy Spencer. But he was a masterful gardener and he had a beautiful little eggplant section of his garden. See, it's in my blood Doree. It's in my blood to love eggplant. 

Doree: Wow. I mean, eggplant's great. 

Kate: Do you like eggplant? I feel like most people hate it. I mean, only member of my family who likes it. 

Doree: I like eggplant. I like eggplant. Love eggplant. I would eat eggplant with you anytime. 

Kate: Okay, good to know. I think it got a bad wrap because it literally was in veggie wrap when sandwich places started honoring vegetarians. They just shoved cold eggplant inside every sandwich and it wasn't beautifully done, but eggplant's such a delicious 

Doree: No, there's like several preparations of eggplant that I, especially one of them is eggplant parm. 

Kate: Me too. That's probably one of my favorite. 

Doree: That's so good. I also, there is a Middle Eastern sandwich called the SA Sabi Subby sandwich. Don't totally know how to pronounce it. And it has eggplant and an egg and salady things in Pita and it's really good. And then I also love a Chinese eggplant. I love the actual vegetable Chinese eggplant, which is a variety of eggplant. And then I also really enjoy eggplant prepared in a Chinese style. 

Kate: I'm so glad that we share this because so often eggplant gets a bad wrap. 

Doree: You didn't know that I had so many thoughts on eggplant. 

Kate: No, I didn't. Well, we've made so many dumb jokes about eggplant and yet we've never really discussed if we like to eat them and by eat them, I mean the actual eggplant, the fruit, the vegetable, right? 

Doree: Yes. 

Kate: Pasta Al Norma is a really good 

Doree: Oh Yeah, yeah, Yeah. 

Kate: Italian dish with eggplant that I like to make, but I make it, nobody else eats it, which is fine with me, but my family, it's like they dunno what they're missing when you cook eggplant and a lot of olive oil. It's like a sponge for all that oil. And then it's just, anyway, maybe big eggplant will hear this and reach out and they'll sponsor this pod. 

Doree: Yeah. Kate, how's it going? 

Kate: Yeah, I'm on day 0 1 2, I guess technically day three of my yoga with Adrian's 30 day yoga journey. 

Doree: Ooh, How's that going? 

Kate: Yeah, it's going well. So I set an intention last month to practice Yoga Daily and did that mostly via the Peloton app. I also did some on the AloMoves app as well. And I ended up practicing yoga 22 times in December, which was great. 

Doree: That's awesome. 

Kate: My intention was 31, but I made it to 22 and it, it's become a really important part of my day, especially my morning. I do in the morning. So I decided to then try yoga with Adrian's 30 day Yoga Journey Center because she does it every January. So the timing just lined up and I have a group of friends who are doing it, so we text about it on WhatsApp and so far so good. Yeah, I know there are other listeners doing it, so if you wanna chat or connect about it, reach out to us. But I'm enjoying it so far. She really talks a lot about just the showing up is the biggest part of the practice and establishing the routine. And I think it's so true with anything. But it's nice just getting that reminded Yes. Every day. She's like, you showed up, you showed up. And I'm like, yeah, I did. Hello, Adrian. Who you interviewed? I have to say 

Doree: I did interview her. 

Kate: You profiled the infamous yoga with Adrian. 

Doree: I did for Kin Folk Magazine. it came out a few months ago. 

Kate: Well, can we link to it? 

Doree: Sure. 

Kate: Okay. That'd be great. I was thinking, I was like, I'm going to go back and re-read Doree's profile because now that I'm spending all this time with yoga with Adrian, I feel like, as I think millions of people have a port parasocial relationship with her, I'm now like, 

Doree: Oh yes. 

Kate: I mean 

Doree: That was one of the things that we touched on in the piece is the expectations that people place on you when they have a parasocial relationship with you. And I think she feels that very deeply. And it's kind of stressful, especially 

Kate: Cause she's a teacher. You have this parasocial relationship with someone who's guiding you through this experience. And that's like, it's a big responsibility and yeah, I think she does. She says she feels honored to be sharing this journey with me. And I believe her. 

Doree: No, she always does. She always does new classes for this 30 day yoga challenge in January. 

Kate: Yes. I believe it's, it's brand new. It has a different focus. I think this is the eighth or nine year that she's done it. And she always offers it for free. So it's on YouTube. I subscribe to the newsletter that is for the program. And then every morning I just go to her YouTube channel. So that's, that's what up to, are you over there? Have you been practicing any yoga? 

Doree: I have not been practicing yoga. And I was actually thinking the other day that I really would like to be practicing some yoga. So I need to just get on that. Cause my body's feeling kind of old and creaky. But I have been doing the strength class that I mentioned a few weeks ago. Do you remember this? I, I think I really like this class, but I don't like this instructor's music. 

Kate: Yes. 

Doree: Do you remember this conversation? 

Kate: I do remember this conversation. And actually, so have you moved beyond the music? 

Doree: Well, I did talk to her about it. very, very awkwardly. And she was like, oh, I was like, would it be possible to play pop music or, cause she was playing the worst industrial, just angry, almost angry, assault on my ears music. And she was like, oh yeah, this music has the right tempo, the right beats per minute and most pop music is slower. So that's why I don't play pop music. And I was like, okay. And then I didn't go for a couple of classes and then I went back and she was still playing it. And then all of a sudden it has changed. So she is now playing more remixes of pop songs that are faster paced. And that has been a real boon for me. The very heavy industrial music seems to be gone. 

Kate: What kudos to you for having an awkward conversation because that is awkward, but you are there for the experience and I think it's okay to request 

Doree: Totally 

Kate: How it goes. 

Doree: Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's a fine line between stating this preference and coming across as super entitled and I just didn't wanna come across that way. You know what I mean? I don't know. Especially when you're an instructor and I'm sure people have a thousand different requests all the time. And what do you accommodate and what do you not accommodate? On the other hand, it's possible. I was way overthinking this and in fact the music has changed and I am really, I'm enjoying it. The class is great. I actually feel myself getting stronger, which is exciting. And the only bummer of the last couple weeks has been how much it's been raining because I'm 99% thrilled that it's raining because we really need the rain. But there's 1% of me that is bummed because I can't play tennis. You can't play tennis in the rain because you'll like break your ankle. 

Kate: Oh, I know. My pickle ball was canceled today because the courts are wet, 

Doree: The quarts are wet. So even when it's not technically raining, the courts are still wet because it's been raining so much. And there's like no indoor courts in Southern California. In New York, there are indoor courts because it's obviously the weather is shitty like six months of the year and you probably won't be able to play at all. But in LA I tried looking for indoor courts. I don't think they exist. So I haven't been playing tennis, which I'm kind of bummed about, but it is what it is. And on the whole, I'm just glad that we're getting rain. 

Kate: I know I went for a walk this morning and it was very misty, but it felt kind of good to be walking in the rain. 

Doree: How, it was super misty. 

Kate: But I liked it. I mean, 

Doree: I've started walking Bo with Henry, which is like, 

Kate: And how does that go? 

Doree: It's mostly great. He, Henry really enjoys it and he likes to narrate what Bo is doing. He's like, Bo is sniffing. Bo is Oh, Bo Peed again. All right, well let's take a break and come back with some listener thoughts and questions. 

Kate: All right, I'm ready. 

Doree: Okay. Alright everybody, we are back. And to kick things off, we have a voicemail. 

Voicemail: Hey gals. I just have to say it's a great new year so far because, and I hope I'm not prematurely celebrating this, but I just had a positive experience with a retinol product for the first time in about two years. See, ever since I turned 40, my skin has just been so sensitive to everything. I had to give up all of my retinol products and hence my acne has returned and I just can't use even vitamin C, any retinol, bakuchiol, any of that stuff just makes my skin set on fire and I have to use, not antibiotics, but what's having word finding. Anyway, it, it's, I have allergic reactions. So I decided to try something step out on a limb because on StriVectin website, they said 100% of the people that tried the advanced retinol nightly renewal moisturizer had zero skin reactions. And I was like, we'll see about this. So I used it last night for the first time. It's like it's a moisturizer, but it has retinol in it with their NIA114 technology. I woke up and I did not have a skin reaction you guys. Oh my God. So I know we're trying to keep up with the ethos of let's try some of these drugstore brands. If anybody out there, this is a call to arms, if anybody out there on the pod has a less expensive option for a retinol moisturizer or a very light retinol that has not given you a reaction, I am here for it. I'm here to, I'm here, I'm open, I'm ready to not spend a lot of money on all of this stuff. And we'll say if you've had a problem with retinol, the StriVectin, advanced retinol nightly renewal moisturizer. I'm, you know what? I'm just going to start out conservatively. I'm going to use it maybe every three nights. I'll keep you updated, but so far so good. So glowing, 

Doree: love this. 

Kate: A call to arms. 

Doree: Call to arms. 

Kate: I mean, look, like if it's working for you, just stick with what works. Unless you financially you're like, I can't do this, then yeah, we'll find something else. But if you're like, I like this, then why change? 

Doree: I do have a suggestion though. 

Kate: Tell me. 

Doree: It is the Stratia Night Shift moisturizer, which I really like. It's very moisturizing and it has encapsulated retinol in it. It's a light retinol. This is not going to go super. It's not a super intense retinol, but that also means that it's not irritating. And I found it to be very moisturizing but not greasy. I think this product is great and it's not super expensive. It's a little bit more than a drugstore product, but not a luxury product. It's $28. So yeah, 

Kate: I mean, CeraVe has a retinol and capsule in Retinol Day cream that has spf. I don't think that their night moisturizer has spf. The only real moisturizer with retinol I've used is by Klur. It's called Sculpture A and I love it. But that's also sculpture plus A, but that's also on the pricier side. You know what I almost picked up the other day? 

Doree: What 

Kate: Oil of Olay. 

Doree: Really? 

Kate: They almost grabbed oil of Olay moisturizer. I'm very curious if anyone uses it. They have a retinol nighttime moisturizer that's fragrance free. And I was like, I don't know. I was just kind of tooting on around through online reviews and I was like, maybe I gotta, maybe it's Oil of Olay. I dunno. Maybe I gotta try this. I didn't buy it because I'm trying to exercise restraint when it comes to spending on things that I already have and could be using. But 

Doree: Fair enough. 

Kate: But I was curious. 

Doree: Very interesting. Okay, well, all right, keep us posted. 

Kate: Another prod 

Doree: if you decide 

Kate: Another prod question. Yeah, keep us posted. Hi Kat and Dor. I just got caught up on the pod and have never written it until now. I am currently in need of a new brow pencil. I have been using the Maybelline Brow Precise Micropencil for my dark eyebrows. It has been fine, but I was wondering if there are any good ones to try. Drugstore options are my preference. I use the NYX N Y X eyebrow pencil. It has the little brush on one end and the pencil on the other. And they also have one that's like the angled kind. You know how you can get one that's more of a direct point, a round point. And then they have the angled one. I prefer the angled one because I like how you can press and kind of make a brow hair. I'm sure that's the technical term. So that's my drugstore, that's my drugstore brow choice. And I think I got that recommendation originally from Doree Shafrir, 

Doree: Little old me. 

Kate: Yeah, you pretty sure it came from you. 

Doree: I was going to suggest this, the one that I would recommend is the NYX micro brow pencil. It comes in many shades of brown and black and it's $11. And it is a pretty good dupe for the Anastasia Beverly Hills brow pencil. So 

Kate: I think I have the precision brow pencil. I think that's one of the ones I have. But I like all their brow products. I used all the 

Doree: Yea, all their brow products are good. 

Kate: Yeah, they're like gluey jelly stuff I have too. Yeah. Any other drugstore faves, let us know. But that's, I'm like a NYX's bitch all the way. 

Doree: You're a NXY's bitch. 

Kate: I'm a NYX's bitch. 

Doree: Ok. Alright. Here is a text. Did I assume the Nevea shower moisturizer was a complete gimmick? Yes. Did I buy it? Yes. Did I use it and wonder where it's been all my life? Yes. I'm not busy, the listener who wrote in about this, but still, I'm never going to get out of the shower in my drafty 1920s apartment in winter, fully dry off and then put regular moisturizer on my legs. Never. This product is a game changer. Okay. 

Kate: Okay. I just bought this. 

Doree: Okay, let's talk about this. 

Kate: I agree with the listener. It's great. I was like, surely this is going to be dumb. And then I bought it and I've been using it in my shower and it's great. And I too love the not having to dry off and then get cold again with another moisturizer 

Doree: Totally, 

Kate: Which then sticks to my clothes. 

Doree: Yes. 

Kate: This seems like especially, well, I was going to say it's especially good for winter, but then also in the summer when you put on lotion, then it melts off of you. 

Doree: Yes. 

Kate: I dunno. This stuff is great. I love it. And I have the nevea. I know there's like one by Jergens, I think there are a few of these on the market, but this is the Nevea one is the one that I have in my shower also. And I also love it. 

Doree: I might take the plunge as well. 

Kate: I, it's great. It truly does moisturize my body feels lotioned and moisturized after using it. 

Doree: Wow, really? 

Kate: Yeah, I was very surprised. 

Doree: All right. Well, Kate, let's take another break. 

Kate: We received an interesting etiquette question from a listener. They wrote to us. Hello Kat and Dor. I have an etiquette question for you too. Every year, my husband and I receive a Christmas card from our college roommate and his wife. And every year is, it is addressed to Mr. And Mrs. My husband's name. It drives me flippin nuts. I don't use Mrs because I hate it. And while I did take his last name, I didn't take his first name. I am not on that card at all. And it really bothers me to be referred to as Mrs. My husband's name. This is a card from someone our same age. So it's not like grandma is doing it. I'm sure I'm not the only 34 year old. My college roommate's wife is sending cards to addressed in this way. So I can't believe I'm the only one bothered by it. Do I need to just suck it up and deal with cards from them addressed in this manner? Or can I say something? Any guidance appreciated? So I have a thought on this, which is that this is how I was trained to address mail. And it took me, I think I stopped doing it 15 years ago, but this is how I, and one of my grandmothers was a real stickler for kind of etiquette. And not in a overbearing way, but in just, this is how she was raised way. And I don't know if my mom taught this to me or if my grandmother did, but this is how I always did it. And so I can understand, even though I know that this person is in their thirties and not like a grandma, sometimes we have these lingering leftover things that are just have become second nature that oftentimes we don't. It takes a minute, then you look at it and you're like, oh, this is rooted in the patriarch patriarchal bullshit. I don't have to do this, but sometimes it takes a beat. So I'm not defending what this person is doing. And I agree with you that it's annoying as all fuck and totally archaic and awful, but as someone who was taught to do this sometimes it still will be lingering in my brain. So can you say something? Yeah, I think you could just write, thank you so much for the card. Just fyi. You can address it in the future. Just feel free to address it to blah blah, blah. I don't think you need to make it longer unless you wanna really get into why it bothers you. But I think, you know, can always reach out or you can just get the card, roll your eyes at it, throw it away. Yeah. Doree, I passed the mic. 

Doree: I feel like it's made a little bit more complicated by the fact that this listener did take her husband's name. Because if she hadn't, then she would be able to just be like, this is not my name, the end. But I could see how someone might interpret this as splitting hairs. But also, who cares If this bothers you, then say something. You could be, we don't use this title or something. I don't know. How would you just say that? Or you can just let it go. I think don't think it's bad to say anything, it's just, I think it's just, I would just game out what you think the potential responses would be and how those will make you feel. Of course the best response is like, oh, I'm like, I totally had no idea. I will change that. Thank you for letting me know. There's also the response where this person says, nothing just ignores you. There's a defensive response. So there's a few different ways someone could react and I think it's just good to anticipate those and think about how you are going to react if they react in certain ways 

Kate: Or if they could say like, oh yes, of course we won't do that again. And then they could do it again. 

Doree: Totally. 

Kate: Then you get a card again next year and it's still totally same. 

Doree: Totally. 

Kate: And then how are you going to feel? 

Doree: Right? Yeah. Now you're going to say something again. Yeah. So that's just my thought there. 

Kate: That's definitely I'd be curious. I I'm, cuz I didn't take my husband's last name, although sometimes people will address me with his last name, which is a whole other thing. But I would be curious to people who took their spouse's last name, how they feel about this. 

Doree: We actually, we got a few cards addressed to the Shafrir family this year. 

Kate: That's what I like. That's what I like. 

Doree: I was like, oh yeah, 

Kate: We go by Spencer-King family. And sometimes people will, sometimes people will do the Spencer. Yeah. I don't know. People do what they want. 

Doree: I feel like its also it's, it's also sometimes people who don't know us very well. 

Kate: Right. 

Doree: You send us a card, you know what I mean? So there's like different variables. Anyway, should we end things with a voicemail? 

Kate: You know it 

Doree: Alright. 

Voicemail: Hi. Pause the pod moment with the Paulina Porizkova episode where you're talking about tall girls. I am one, hit five three in fourth grade and five 11 and seventh. So I guess that's about nine and 12 or 13. I was really fortunate to one tall parents who never told me to stand up straight and be tall proud of my height. And also have a good family friend. My dad's godfather who always told me that you're not tall, you're statuesque, you're a Greek goddess. And so that always taught me to be really proud of my height and to hold myself upright and just carry myself well. So I've been really fortunate to never shrink myself down and have that experience. So I definitely understand how other people have. So hope you have a great rest of your and a good holiday season. Bye. 

Doree: Okay. 

Kate: People have told me I was statuesque. That didn't change how I felt about being tall. I think, I don't know, being tall is a weird journey to be on sometimes. 

Doree: I mean, I have no insight here. As a not pretty average size person 

Kate: Were you ever tall? Were you ever the tallest, did you have a growth spurt early? Were you ever in any of that? You know how sometimes there are people who are of average or shorter height, but they were tall when they were like nine. 

Doree: Yeah. 

Kate: Taller than everybody else. 

Doree: Yeah. I was always, 

Kate: Did you ever have that moment? 

Doree: I was always one of the taller girls in the class, but I am know compared to you, I'm not tall, but compared to the rest of American women, I've looked this up, I'm actually in the 90th percentile of height. 

Kate: Oh my God. Really? 

Doree: Yes. And 

Kate: Wow. 

Doree: So that's just be like, you are in, you must be in the 0.1%. You know what I mean? There's just not a lot of women who are as tall as you. So I was always among the taller girls in the class, but never, I don't think I was ever the tallest. 

Kate: So you didn't have the experience of every year for class photos, you were just always in the middle of the top row like that? No, always being in the top row of photos. It's like the tall person zone. And I never got to be one of the cute kids sitting in a chair. And I, that was always such a weird hangup for me as a kid. 

Doree: We also didn't take class photos. So usually I think have a kindergarten class photo. 

Kate: Really? 

Doree: And I have a fourth grade photo when I didn't live in the us. But other than that class photos were not a thing at my school. So, I don't think, I mean, wait, maybe not that I'm thinking about it. I actually do remember also a first grade class photo, but then after that I don't remember any class photos. And then in the yearbooks there were never class photos. It was just individual photos. 

Kate: Fascinating. 

Doree: So I dunno. So I have no real insight here, but yeah, my son is pretty tall and he's starting to get the thing where at playgrounds, kids who are older than him think he's their age. And I have to be like, he's three, he's not five. He can't climb up to where you are. You know what I mean? 

Kate: Oh a hundred percent. yea. 

Doree: Or they wanna play with him in a way that he's just not ready for. So that's been kind of interesting and I wonder if he will stay tall. So that is all I have to say about that. 

Kate: Thank you. I'm glad the listener connected with that part of our interview with Paulina. That was fun. Yeah, talking to her. 

Doree: All right everybody. 

Kate: Talk to you later. 

Doree: Bye. 

 
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Episode 251: Sweat Equity with Natalia Petrzela

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Mini-Ep 362: We Contain Multitudes