Mini-Ep 348: Literal Seven-Year Itch

Kate and Doree have some prod recs today before they hear from listeners about a seven-year itch, a niche friendship question, and a birthday celebrated in the Forever35 style. 


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Transcript

 

Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer. 

Doree: And I'm Doree Shafrir. 

Kate: And we are not experts. 

Doree: We're not, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums. 

Kate: We do. Although we've talked about serums a lot less lately. 

Doree: That's true. Yeah, that is true. I actually have a couple prods I wanna talk about today briefly. 

Kate: Okay. 

Doree: Theyre not serums though. 

Kate: Oh, well, I actually have a kind of have a serum thing to mention too. So before we do that, let me just tell you this is mini episode where we hear from you. We share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. 

Doree: But please remember, we are podcast host. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. 

Kate: If you wanna reach us, our voicemail and text number is 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0, and our email is forever35podcast@gmail.com. That's also where you can send us a voice memo if you're a voice memoer 

Doree: Yes, you can visit our website forever35podcast.com. For links to everything we mentioned on the show, we are on Twitter @forever35pod, or on Instagram @Forever35podcast. You can join the Forever35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/forever35podcast. The password is serums. We also have a newsletter at Forever35podcast.com/newsletter, and you can shop everything we mentioned on the show at shopmy.us/forever35. 

Kate: Okay, so let's hear it. Where are you coming in hot with this prod rec? It's not in our show doc, and so I like the element of surprise that's being used here. 

Doree: So it's actually an advertiser. 

Kate: Ooh, I wonder who it could be <laugh>. I don't, Hold on. Should I be, Should this be obvious to me or should I be surprised? I 

Doree: Don't know. I don't know. Kate. I don't know. Are you gonna be surprised or are you gonna be like, Oh yeah, of course. 

Kate: Okay, I'm ready. Okay. 

Doree: I'll just tell you, it's Gladskin 

Kate: <laugh>. Go on. I, It's so funny you said this. I was literally just getting out their Eczema cream last night. Okay, go on. 

Doree: Okay. So I did use their eczema cream last night. On that patch on my neck that flares up every so often, but I have been using their face wash. 

Kate: Oh, the gentle? The gentle cleanser? 

Doree: The face wash for eczema prone skin. It's a gel to milk. 

Kate: Oh, yes, that's what it's called. Excuse me. Gel to Milk. 

Doree: But I have also, when I've been wearing makeup, I've been using their makeup remover. 

Kate: Okay. And you are having a positive experience here. I 

Doree: I Am having a positive experience Now these are very gentle. 

Kate: Yeah, 

Doree: Very gentle. Now the makeup remover gets the job done. It is not drying whatsoever. I really like it. It has four ingredients. 

Kate: That's good. I like that. 

Doree: Which is nice. There's no alcohol, which is drying. There's no fragrance. I mean, give me a prod without fragrance. you know I love that. 

Kate: Doree is not here for your fragrance. And we should clarify, this is not a sponsored segment. This is just, Yeah, you're just talking. I don't even know if they're advertising on this episode. You just like 

Doree: Yeah, no, I just was like, Oh, I actually kept meaning to mention it and I forgot. And then I also really like their face wash. Again, very gentle. So if you're someone who likes a deep exfoliation or you your skin to feel tingly or whatever, this is probably not the face wash for you. If you are worried about drying out your skin, if you have eczema prone skin I, I've really been liking this. So that's my rec. This also has four ingredients 

Kate: Thats really. I mean, I've been using the eczema cream on one of my kids who has really bad eczema on their ears, <affirmative>, and the back of her ear. And it's really, it's been very soothing. I just help her put it on every night and it's been, it really works. And also, we should say that we have a code you can get 15% off plus free shipping. The code is forever35, no, excuse me, gladskin.com/forever35. Go there for 15% off and free shipping if any of these products intrigue you, and it, and an enDOREEsement is hard to get. Okay. 

Doree: I, yes. An enDOREEsement is hard to get. But I also do just wanna say, I have very specific things that I like I just discussed. And so if that is not your vibe, that's fine. But if you like me, hate fragrance in your products. You want something gentle but effective, you don't want anything drying. I mean, get on up in there. 

Kate: Okay. Well, I have a couple product recommendations because I finally tried products from Violette_fr, I believe she's an influencer, a French influencer. So immediately I was sucked in. 

Doree: Okay. I'm not familiar with the Violette. 

Kate: So someone mentioned one of these products, I think it was one of the gals from Gloss Angeles. Someone has mentioned this brand before on the show, and I had never heard of it. And if I'm not crediting the right guest, I apologize. But it has been mentioned. I came to their products a very roundabout way in which I was watching a stylist's video on YouTube, the stylist that I follow. And she did a closet clean out with the founder of Violette, which her name might even be Violette. I don't know. Anyway. So then I was like toot, toot, I'm gonna go over and look at her prods. 

And then I kind of remembered that someone had mentioned their stuff and I was like, Oh, can't resist. Why don't I procrastinate and buy some things? Because they have the stuff called Boum-boum Milk, which is a three in one 

Doree: Boum-boum Milk <laugh>. 

Kate: Yeah. Boom, boom. Milk Doree. It's a Boum-boum space milk. 

Doree: Got it. Okay. 

Kate: It's essentially a toner, a serum, and a moisturizer in one milky spray. So that hits all my sweet spots. Yes. I love a milky and I love a spray, and I love a toner, and I love a serum, and I love moisture. So I got the travel size. I'm traveling this weekend. I also didn't wanna buy the larger size and not like it. And this stuff is great. I love it. It's super hydrating. You can use it on its own, but I also use it and then put moisturizer on. 

So I have really been loving this Boum-boum Milk. And then I also got their fragrance. This maybe was how I came to it. They have a fragrance called Avec Amour, and it's on a perfume oil. And I've been just leaving it at my desk. The scent doesn't last very long on me. I think I like something stronger, but it's kinda a nice amber musk vetiver smell and I like it. I also got a couple other of their products that I'm trying out. One is a highlighter stick that I am liking, and then one is a sheer lipstick that does nothing for me. So that's a bit of a bummer. But I also am trying their Baume Shine Universal Highlighter stick. And that's been kinda nice. So their products are nice. This Boum-boum Milk is great. Really into the Boum-boum Milk. 

Doree: Do I need Boum-boum Milk? 

Kate: No, don't get it. You have enough stuff and you, Well, no, let's be honest. You stick to what you like and you have the things you use and you just got rid of stuff. And so I'm telling you, don't add to the pile. Is this is the most firm I've ever been about anything that I Came in hot. I don't know if you do. I don't know if you do need Boum-Boum Milk. But if you get it, I won't judge you. I won't judge you. 

Doree: Okay. All right. 

Kate: Well Doree, should we take a break or should we do a text? What do you wanna do here? Were at 10 minutes. 

Doree: Let's just read a couple of these texts. Okay. I'm gonna read one. Okay. If you don't mind. 

Kate: No, take it away. 

Doree: Just randomly thinking of that hilarious episode when Kate did a butt mask live on the pod. It was very early in the pandemic when the fear and confusion were so elevated. I'm still thankful for the laugh cry I had that morning. Thank you for doing what you do. 

Kate: It's hard work, but somebody's gotta do it. Someone's gotta do it. And that person is me. 

Doree: Kate, what I'm hearing is that we need more live butt masks on the podcast. Well, 

Kate: Well, you know I do have the Mega Babe butt mask, which I do like a lot. If you want me to do that one day on the podcast, I would be happy to do that. I will have to do the podcast standing up because it's like a creamy, it's Le Tush Clarifying Butt Mask. But I like this stuff. So should I do that? Should I do a butt mask on the podcast again? 

Doree: I mean maybe the people seem to be demanding it. 

Kate: <laugh>. Yes. This one person needs it to happen. Yeah. Okay. Thank you listener. And gosh, I remember those early days of the pandemic. What a time. Still traumatic to think about. Here's a text story. Hey Kate and Doree, please tell me you're watching Farmhouse Fixer with John Knight. It's everything. He's so passionate about the old homes. And you also get a dash of Jordan every now and then. Such a comfort watch. I have watched a farmhouse fixer with John Knight. I mean, I still think about the New Kids On The Block concert that we saw and how he was the only one who didn't wear a tank top. I still think about that. 

Doree: I know. And he was just like, I'm just here 

Kate: <laugh>. He was like just in his plain black t-shirt. Everybody else is in sparkly tanks. And John was just kind of like, my first passion is farmhouses and this is how I keep the lights on. Totally. I fucking loved him. 

Doree: He didn't even really get into the dancing, you know what I mean? 

Kate: No. Well, he's always had stage fright. I mean, that's one thing that we need to remember about John early in the late 80s. He had stage fright. But yeah, 

Doree: I forgot. 

Kate: Yeah, I think he's so sweet. And I have a real soft spot for him. His husband's really hot. I don't know. I'm happy. I love him. And I also do want to get a farmhouse and have him fix it up. 

Doree: I mean, look, that could be Go on your vision board. 

Kate: He is passionate about old homes, old New England homes. What? Yeah. I love it. All right. All right, Doree, let's take a break. 

Doree: Okay, let's do that. 

Kate: So Doree, we have a voicemail that the second I heard what it was about, I was like, and we need to talk about this cuz Doree's experienced it. But then further on the voicemail, the listener also notes that this is something that you've talked about. So I'm excited for you to weigh in here. 

Voicemail: Okay. Hi friends, this is Kim from Columbia, South Carolina. Long time, third time, so I'll understand if you don't play this, but I thought I'd give it a whirl. My husband and I just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary and I am experiencing a literal seven year itch on my ring finger. It's a sore, itchy, scaly patch of skin under my rings. And I think that Doree had experienced this and I don't remember if she found a solution other than taking off her rings. But I, I've taken off the rings, I put on cortisone cream, let it heal. But when I put the rings back on, it comes back. And my hypothesis is, so everything I've read says it's moisture from washing your hands that gets under there and trapped under there. So take off your rings when you wash your hands. Except I can't do that because my rings are so tight. They're so tight. It is very difficult and painful to take them off. So I need some advice. I'm also curious if anyone has ever gotten their rings expanded. Is that a thing that jewelers do? I did a little bit of Googling, but curious what this community would recommend. Okay, love you both. Bye. 

Doree: I think most rings can be expanded. 

Kate: I've had my rings expanded and then even after that they're still too tight on my hands. So they can be, but I actually thought it was gonna be easier. I think that they have to have some metal. If you expand too much, it's essentially gonna be too thin. So I would take them to a jeweler and have them get looked at for sure. 

Doree: Yeah, I think that's good advice. 

Kate: Now the itch though. The itch. 

Doree: Well someone mentioned to me that it could be that they need to be cleaned. 

Kate: Oh, oh that's interesting. 

Doree: Which I still have not done. 

Kate: I've never done that. 

Doree: But that could be something to look into 

Kate: Listening. So cleaned, not the gemstones or the metal. Just when you get a ring cleaned at the metal cleaned, that's what 

Doree: They need. I'm assuming that is what that is what they meant. Yes. 

Kate: Okay. Copy that. Ok. Intriguing. Intriguing. Yeah, Listener. Try that out and let us know. I have gone through times where I haven't been able to wear my wedding rings cuz they make me itch so much. And I know you've been there, Doree. So 

Doree: Yeah, I mean I basically never wear mine anymore. I put them on occasionally if I'm getting dressed up, I'll put them on 

Kate: <affirmative>. Mine are too small. I bought myself a plain gold band that I wear because my actual winning rings. My hands have just grown. So yeah, <sigh> 

Doree: Frustrating. Yeah. All right. Let's read this email. Hi Kat and Dor. I have a niche friendship question that I'm hoping you might have some insight into. Do you have any recommendations for how to find friendships with people who significant others also work in the entertainment industry and travel often? My boyfriend works in TV and is away for months at a time filming. And it's becoming more and more difficult to be at home without a sense of community. I think it might help to have a friend or two who understand this lifestyle since it's pretty unique to LA. I have virtual friendships and long distance friends from college, but I'd like to have more IRL friends. I work from home, not in the entertainment industry and we don't have kids yet or pets. So it's a little challenging meeting new people. Do you have any suggestions for finding other girlfriends or spouses of entertainment industry folks? Is there a support group or something? Or could you share any ways you coped with a significant other being out of town for long periods of time? 

Kate: So I wanted to include this because I don't actually think it's a niche. It's niche in that your significant other works in entertainment. But I don't think it's niche for people to have partners who are gone for long periods of time. Certainly if you have a spouse in the military, they are gone for months to years. And I've had friends who haven't seen whose partners in the military and they haven't seen them for almost they, they're gone for a whole year <affirmative>. So that can be really intense. And I do think it really helps to have other people who understand what it is to have a spouse who is gone for long chunks of time. So I don't know if there's any sort of support group. I think that's a Googleable thing for sure. But I would just even see if you can connect with the significant others of the people who your partner works for. Ask them, Hey, does anyone else have a spouse who's hanging around? I'd love to grab coffee with them. 

Doree: I think that's good advice. I think also just pursuing other interests. 

Kate: <affirmative> 

Doree: Is always good. I mean, whether it's taking up a new sport or hobby or just anything that gets you out and interacting with other people. I mean Kate, you've taken up Pickleball. 

Kate: I am passionate about pickleball. I love it so much. I haven't gone ventured into my community courts yet because I'm still a beginner and I'm a little apprehensive about the intensity out there. But that's definitely apparently a very welcoming community and a definitely way to meet people for sure. 

Doree: Or join a dodgeball team or kickball team or a softball team. Or if you're not into sports, do something else. I dunno. Try out for community theater join a choir, go to church. There's a lot of, I think there is community out there if you look for it, but it is going to probably take a little bit of effort. 

Kate: And I actually like the point you're making that it doesn't need to be connected to just other people who's like spouses are at or gone for a long. I think it can help to have other people who understand what that's like. Yes. Because as someone who has been through that, it is really weird and isolating and hard. But I think Doree, you make a really good point. And I think the suggestions you're making are how you cope. That is how you cope with your significant other being outta town for a long time. You have to rely on yourself to <affirmative> get out there and actually what, after the break, we're gonna play a voicemail from a couple who called in with some friendship making tips. So that could also be helpful. 

Doree: All right. Well let's take a break. 

Kate: Okay. BRB. 

Doree: All right. We are back with the promised voicemail 

Voicemail: Hi Kat and Dor, this is Grace. I'm driving to Michigan with my boyfriend and we were just listening to mini ep 342 where the listener asked what the girl would do in her thirties to make friends. And I'm the same boat. Im 36. And I think there's one piece in what Dorees response was that was missing, which was, you know, go to all those activities and play tennis and do all that. But what I find is really effective is once you go to those things, actually asking the people you need there for their numbers and reaching out afterwards to have a follow up. If you meet someone in tennis class text them later to say, Do you wanna hit time? Or at other volunteering events saying We volunteer together next time, let's go get brunch. And otherwise things just don't happen naturally. You have to do, take that extra step. My boyfriend and I were just discussing that and thought we'd call in to share that feedback and our own experience trying to make friends in our 30s. The other one I'll just give a shout out is the Junior League which is a fantastic volunteering organization for women. There's chapters in every city. In fact I learned that president of the Chicago chapter that I'm in, also a Forever35 listeners. So hi Kristen. And I've just met a ton of awesome women through the Junior League. So highly recommend that. I know it's different in each city, but my experience in Chicago and also in the London League have both been very, very positive. 

Kate: Wow. Junior league. 

Doree: Junior League. 

Kate: That reminds me of my mom. I don't think, I never have really thought about also, Hello. Shout out to the president of the Junior League, who's also listening. Yeah. 

Doree: Yea, I love that so much. 

Kate: Yeah. Junior league. I don't know much about them, but that's a cool suggestion. And I also think this listener's right, you have to, to pursue <affirmative> 

Doree: Well, and I feel like we've talked about this a little bit before, but I think it can be tough going from environments where friendships happen a little bit more organically, or maybe even a little bit more passively. I think you're in school, if you went to college, you're in college. If you went to grad school, you're just thrown in with hundreds, thousands of people all around your age. <laugh> a lot of who don't know anyone. Everyone's trying to make friends and then, you know, leave that environment and it's harder. And I think that's why sometimes people work, seek out workplaces that are very social cuz they wanna kind of replicate that, which as we've discussed, has its pros and cons. But since you work from home, still talking to the previous <laugh> listener that's obviously harder. But yeah, I mean, I think you have to be a little bit more intentional about it. And I think this person makes a really good point is ask for their numbers, be a little bit more forthright. And I don't wanna say aggressive cause it's not really aggressive, but make the first move, I guess is what I wanna say. 

Kate: Yeah. Which is, it can be hard. I get that. Get that a lot. alright. We got another voicemail with a interesting dilemma that I wanted to share. Right. 

Voicemail: Hi, I'm so happy to finally be able to call the pod about a question. So for my birthday, I had a facial. I treated myself to a facial at a very fancy spa. And it had been a while, <laugh>, since I had a facial. And when they were doing extractions, I felt like it was intense, but I thought maybe I just didn't remember what it was like. And when I got home, I realized I had broken blood vessels on my chin and nose and cheeks and I was just wondering has happened to anyone, what do I do? And before go, I have to shout out to the Forever35 Ottawa group in Canada. We've been meeting periodically for about a year and they're the best. So just have to say hi to them. Anyway, thanks so much. 

Kate: This concerns me having broken blood vessels on face. I would go to a dermatologist and I would not go get a facial at this place again. 

Doree: Yeah, this seems not right, <laugh>. 

Kate: Yeah. I'm sorry this happened to you. I think that, you know what, as I've gotten older, I get less and less extractions when I get facials. I don't know if that's just organically how the facialists I see are, but I, I'm kind of way less into extractions kind of for this reason. One, they hurt a lot of them. And two, I'm not quite sold on the necessity a lot of times. And this definitely is a red flag for me. Yeah. I I think if you're like inclined, you could bring it up with the either person or place where you got this facial done. Yeah, I would definitely go get that checked out 

Doree: All right. We have one last text. Hi, Kate and Doree. Today is my Forever35 birthday. I just wanted to share that listening to the show all these years has made me look forward to this day in true Forever35 style. I took the day off, got a facial, speaking of facial, napped, and read a book recommended in the Forever35 book group. Love to you both and thank you for all the wisdom laughs and joy you bring to others. 

Kate: Now, did I include this? Because it's such a complimentary message, Of course, <laugh>. But happy birthday to you. Welcome to 35. We're glad you're here. Way to do it. Way to give yourself a nice day. 

Doree: So cool. It does sound dreamy, doesn't it? You. Well, Kate, this brings us to the end of our little show here. 

Kate: Hey everybody, don't forget to get out there and vote and vote early if you can. 

Doree: Oh, yeah. 

Kate: Yeah, Right. 

Doree: Good. Good point. 

Kate: Ultimate self care. 

Doree: Ultimate Self care 

Kate: is voting. 

Doree: That's so true. 

Kate: Oh, goodness me. All right. Well Doree, will you will TTYL. 

Doree: We sure will. All right. Bye everyone. 

 
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Mini-Ep 347: It’s Your Body, Boob Job If You Wanna