Mini-Ep 341: Hot Tips and Hot Takes
Kate and Doree hear all about your dogs’ taste in vibrators. Plus, they answer questions about how to tell someone you're dating that they have bad breath, whether TikTok is where we should be getting hair washing advice, and what Kate wore in Disney World.
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast all about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer, and
Doree: I am Doree Shafrir,
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: We're not, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: Hello and welcome to this a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability
Doree: Indeed. But please do remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: And if you wanna reach us, hit us up on the beams voicemail, baby 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0. Text us there too. And you can also hit us up on the jeans at Forever 35 podcast@gmail.com.
Doree: You can visit our website forever 35 podcast.com. For links to everything we mentioned on the show, follow us on Twitter Forever 35 pod on Instagram at Forever 35 podcast and join the Forever 35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/forever 35 podcast. The password is serums. We also have a newsletter, Forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter. And you can check out the products we mentioned on the show at shop my.us/forever 35. We also have a balance bound collab of merch. You can get the DO'S hotel set, they make really great bathroom matches or desk candle matches, et cetera, et cetera. I've been using the pencils. It's just like, it's just very, very practical stuff. And that is at balance bound.co/shop/ 35.
Kate: I have incorporated my balance bound. This is not part of our merch club, but it's a product that they sell. They're undated daily planner. I have made it, I'm gonna show you Doree, maybe I can post a photo to our Insta or something, but I am using this as part of working on my systems. I'm learning as a person with adhd. I need to have systems in place. As I've talked to you a little bit, if I don't put something in Google calendar, <affirmative>, I won't remember it. And so mm-hmm. <affirmative>, that's been a real struggle for me then. So I was actually watching some videos on YouTube and this a coach recommended, in addition to planning your day. Then every day you write it down too, so you really just keep forming it in your brain. So now I'm using my balance bound planner for that. So shout out. That's interesting. If you needing some tools. Yeah,
Doree: That's interesting because I was doing that for a while and I see how it could be useful.
Kate: It feels like
Doree: I go back to it. I
Kate: Think I've hesitated because there's a part of me that's like, this is excessive. I already have all these things and my Google calendar <affirmative> and my reminders app. Why do I need to write it down some other place? But there is something helpful about just the repetition and the physical copy versus the digital copy. I don't know, it's a lot of work, but I'm hoping it'll become a practice. And I
Doree: Think there is also something about the act of writing something down long hand <affirmative> that helps it stick in your brain in some way.
Kate: Yeah, I think so. I, I have not done the scientific research, but I agree with you.
Doree: Should we do the scientific research?
Kate: Definitely not. That sounds like a lot of work. <laugh>. Someone else can do it.
Doree: Yeah, it does sound like a lot of work. Okay.
Kate: We're not gonna do anecdotally. No, we're just gonna go off where we use ourselves as our subjects or the entire test case. <laugh> one test case.
Doree: Oh my gosh.
Kate: Yes. Well, I'm excited to tell you that a lot of people wrote to us about their dogs doing disgusting things. Chewing, chewing disgusting things.
Doree: Beautiful.
Kate: And I wanna just set this up by telling you that last, you see my new reading glasses, If you've been listening to the pod recently, you might know that I had a reaction to motion sickness patch, which by the way, some doctors wrote to us and they said it might be because I touched the medicine of the patch and then touched my eyes. And that can affect the vision. So that was what, Yes. Apparently you people apply it onto patients with gloves because if you get any of the medication on your hand and then that gets near your eye, that might be why my vision got blurred. So
Doree: Yeah,
Kate: They were essentially, Don't give up on this medicine. That might not happen if you don't actually touch the patch or something. But anyway, these are the reading glasses that I ordered when I thought my vision, my vision changed overnight. My dog got these last night and buried them in a hole, but they're totally fine.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: Yeah, I went out into the yard and I've had my glasses in a hole.
Doree: Wow. Yeah. Now this is all of this chewing and digging and burying the puppy or Lucy?
Kate: Oh yeah. Oh no. Lucy. Lucy's fucking over it. Lucy is look in dog years, she's like 49. So she's like Gen X and she's just looking at the puppy who's like a teenager. And I was like, Good luck with this reckless behavior. No, it's the puppy. She's ping up a storm. Yeah, it's Penny the puppy. Okay. She's she. I would say Penny, the puppy is like 70% of very good girl. 30% a rebellious teenager.
Doree: I wonder if she'll calm down.
Kate: I believe so. In my, all the research I did about the puppy age, this kind of 10 month to year and a half, two years is real, the real wacky stage. And I'm working with a dog trainer and Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Lots of fun over here with a puppy. Meanwhile, Lucy's just like, Fuck all. I'm just gonna sleep on this soft blanket, chew my greenies. Yeah. And Lucy does not chew my
Doree: Glasses out. Let me just live out my golden ears.
Kate: Yeah. But Lucy did do disgusting things. Chew my underwear. I, This is gross. But she would dig tampons out of the trash. So Lucy's had her moments. I'm looking at her right now, so she's being very cute. She's
Doree: Very interesting. Well,
Kate: Okay, so here's what some listeners wrote in, All right. One said also, I think all of them had to pause the pod to share this. Pausing the pod to tell you that my dog chewed up my diaphragm. Less than a year later, my first child came into the world. He's now 33. Oh God. So what
Doree: I
Kate: Hear is that your dog is responsible for you getting pregnant. Oh, is that what I'm hearing? This
Doree: Is so funny. Yes. That is exactly what you're hearing. This listener is probably just like, Ugh, whatever. It'll be fine. And then <laugh>
Kate: Surprise. Does anyone still use diaphragms?
Doree: I never used one.
Kate: I didn't either. I mean, I certainly remember learning about them. Anyone out there
Doree: Let us know.
Kate: Hit us up. You doing that, You put the spermicide in the diaphragm and then you stick it in. You remember learning about that?
Doree: Yeah. It seemed very messy and complicated. It
Kate: Was like a craft project.
Doree: That might just be my ignorance speaking.
Kate: That's fair. That's fair. I mean, I always kind of wanted to try a sponge, but those were taken off the market. But the Seinfeld episode about the sponge is iconic.
Doree: I didn't watch Seinfeld, so not familiar. What? I didn't watch Seinfeld.
Kate: What?
Doree: I didn't watch Seinfeld. Kate,
Kate: I know you've said it three times. I know, I heard you.
Doree: Does your husband have feeling? Yeah, I never watched it. Does what? My husband,
Kate: Yeah. Is he a Seinfeld person? I know he is a Frazier person.
Doree: I'm pretty sure he watched all of Seinfeld. I wouldn't call him a Seinfeld person, but I think as a student of the sitcoms of the eighties and nineties,
Kate: Yeah,
Doree: That's your husband for sure. And before, I think he has watched, I'm pretty sure he is watched all of Seinfeld.
Kate: Wow. Okay. Well there is a sponge episode. Doree. I won't spoil it. Okay, well, here, you wanna take this next one?
Doree: I would love to. Yep. My dog has definitely chewed up my night guard like a retainer. Many used Kleenexes as well as a vibrator. <laugh>, the night guard did not survive. The vibrator made it through with just some little teeth marks, and I still use it. Okay. It is a Lilo. And they are expensive. I mean, look, I respect that.
Kate: Yeah. There's no shaming anything. How long as you chew up
Doree: By? I mean, I'm sure you cleaned it right? Yeah,
Kate: You wiped it off. Maybe
Doree: Then. I think it's fine. Well, Kate, I hope you're feeling a little better about just this whole, My dog ate my blank situation.
Kate: Oh yeah. I, I also wanna circle back to dogs getting the vibrators. Are they using their paws to open up little bedside table drawers or your vibrators just like I am out and about?
Doree: I am going to guess that in these, and this is just a guess, but I'm gonna guess that in these situations, these people did not have children. The sex toys or vibrators were not hidden away. Perhaps they were just lying out on the bedside table and the dog was like, <laugh>.
Kate: Yum, yum,
Doree: Yum, yum.
Kate: Well,
Doree: Also,
Kate: A lot of dog toys look like sex toys. So I can understand the confusion on the dog's part.
Doree: That's not a bad thought, Kate, thank you. Actually a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. All right, let us take a break and we'll be right back. Okay, We are back with a text. I just started dating someone and they have bad breath. Should I bring it up? Just offer mince help.
Kate: Oh no. I don't know how you handle this.
Doree: This is a tough one.
Kate: It's so tricky because it's not a personal critique, but it always feels like one.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: And bad breath. It can be a chronic thing that needs to be treated with a dentist. <affirmative> not the result of somebody not just properly brushing. Although, I don't know, Could it be, maybe, again, I'm not a hygienist, dental hygienist or a dentist, but how do we have this conversation?
Doree: I don't know. I truly don't know. I feel like there's no great time to bring it up because it's like if you bring it up too soon, is that weird? But then if you wait, the person's like, Wait, I've had bad breath for six months and you didn't say anything.
Kate: And also when do you bring it up? You can't kiss and then be like, Hey, you've chronically bad breath. It's gotta be, I do think it's worth talking about. I don't think the solution is constantly offering them a mint or gum because
Doree: No, I don't either.
Kate: That's a temporary fix. And I don't think that's it. Oh God, this is stressful. Think you have to frame it.
Voicemail: Oh God, I dunno.
Kate: Think if you are going to be dating this person, if this is a casual hookup and you're like, I don't really see this going anywhere, then I don't know if it's not comfortable for you. I don't know if it's worth having the conversation, but if this is someone who you are invested in working on a relationship with, then you need to talk about it. And I think you can be, frankly, say, I don't know how to bring this up. This is really awkward for me, but I really like you and I'm attracted to you and I've just noticed dot, dot, dot that your breath smells, however you wanna phrase it. And I just wanted to tell you, it's something that I've noticed. It's like, yes, it is making me hard to be physical with you. And would you go get it checked out if someone, I don't know. I'm trying to imagine if someone I was dating had body odor that I wasn't into, would I tell them? I think the answer is yes.
Doree: It's so hard
Kate: As this listener
Doree: How I, you've phrased this
Kate: And I'm trying to see on the other side. I think if someone said that to me, I'm sure my feelings would be hurt and I would be embarrassed or feel like it says something about me. But I do think it's worth bringing
Doree: Up. Well, and again and again, how long has this been going on? Have I had bad breath my whole life and no one ever told me,
Kate: Which maybe this person will be like, Hey, thanks for telling me. It's like when someone has something stuck in their teeth and nobody tells them and then you tell them and they're like, Oh, thanks. But everybody's noticed. We do want to know about these things. Right? Totally. I totally do wanna know if my skirt is stuck in the back of my underwear and everyone's seeing my butt cheeks around the office. I wanna know do
Doree: Once I'm
Kate: I Oh,
Doree: I do think that this is a little bit different though than having something stuck in your teeth.
Kate: Yes. I see
Doree: That. Because that's a temporary situation. Or having toilet paper on your shoe or something.
Kate: It's not something
Doree: You can be like function. It's like, thanks. Yeah, that's fair. If you have body odor or your breath smells, that's something that is, I don't know. This is really hard.
Kate: We need list our backup on this.
Doree: Yeah, I don't know. I don't have the answer. And I'd actually love to hear from people on both sides. If you were the person with bad breath, did someone tell you and how did they tell you and how did you take it? And were you able to fix it? I must know
Kate: <laugh>. Yeah. I mean, because it isn't, halitosis is that is an actual thing that is not, That is a thing. You need to go get help like me. That is a medical term. That is a medical chronic.
Doree: I think so. Yeah.
Kate: Right. <affirmative>. It's not something that brushing makes go away.
Doree: Right, right. Well, Kate, on a totally different note, should we hear voicemail?
Kate: Yes, please.
Voicemail: Hey, Kate and Doree. I was just thinking as it came down from a hike with some very greasy hair. What are we doing? Are we not washing our hair every day? Are we double washing it? I see some day. I'm five now. I'm not quite sure. I've been not washing my hair often and today I just washed it twice because apparently that's a new cool thing to do. What are we doing? I dunno. Just, this is the place that we're gonna check in and see what everybody else is doing. Anyway, love you guys. Bye.
Kate: I love, as a tagline to this podcast, this is the place we're gonna check in and see what everybody else is doing. That's exactly right. <laugh>, what? This is <laugh>. How often are you washing your hair?
Doree: I tend to wash my hair after I exercise. And if I'm going somewhere or I need to look nice, which averages out I think to between every day and every other day.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: I very rarely anymore do I just take a shower. It's usually after exercise or for a reason.
Kate: But after you exercise, you don't rinse off and not wash your hair. You always include the hair wash as part of the
Doree: Cleaning. I always include the hair. Yes. Got it. For a while I was on this kick, which I feel like was sort of drummed into our heads by women's magazines of training your hair, quote, <affirmative> to not need to be washed as much. And that was when I got scalp breakouts,
Kate: <laugh>. Right. If you recall. I do.
Doree: So I am over that. I am just accepting the fact that I am someone who needs to wash her hair generally, at least every other day is where I've landed and that it just is what it is. Yeah. Does it make my hair produce more oil? Maybe. I don't care. That's just where I'm at now. I do not double wash. I think it's a waste of shampoo and I don't think that seems excessive to me.
Kate: I have double washed, but I don't make a practice of it. It's not a habit. I just washed my hair today. I think I'll probably wash it again on Ur. Today is Monday. I think I'll probably wash it again Thursday morning. And that will include playing pickle ball and two workouts at the gym. But I don't know. I'm shower less. Wow. And I'm washing my hair less. I don't, It's honestly more just at a pure, not feeling doing it at this point. But I agree with you, and I think hair washing is skincare. Every single one of us is different. Why I would let go of whatever TikTok is saying.
Doree: Totally says the person who started sin skin cycling because she saw it on TikTok
Kate: <laugh>. Oh, that's low of you.
Doree: <laugh>.
Kate: Look you are. I'm just saying, Fuck, you got me. You're exactly right. <laugh> so clear. Right. Do it or don't do it because you saw something on TikTok. I just think it's, sometimes it's a little trial and error of what's gonna work for you. Sometimes it's gonna be the thing you saw in TikTok and sometimes it's not. I'm just more That's a good impressed that you can play. Sometimes I'm just more impressed that you can play pickle ball and workout twice and not have to wash your hair after every time you work out. I envy you. But do, It's not that I don't, That's have to wash my hair. My hair would greatly benefit as with my body, but I just don't. You don't shower after you play pickleball or work. You don't even get in the shower. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I just, that stuff dries off. I come home and then I get sucked into something else, or I have to come home and I immediately get on a podcast recording and then it's like, Well, I'm Dr. Kind of dry now. <affirmative>. I did wipe myself down this weekend. But yeah, I let it go real long this weekend. I exercised, didn't shower, then I went to a concert, didn't shower, then I went to yoga the next, This is three days yoga, and then I finally showered last night. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. Slip my life. Live your life. And those good smells. Getting those good smells. All right. Let's take a break. Okay, let's do it.
All right. We are back. Okay. Before we hear a voicemail, I'm just gonna confess that while we took a little ad break, I told Doree that I was appreciated. Her calling me out on my little TikTok comment there and how I do skin cycling, because I was on the verge of giving a speech about how we shouldn't, You were gonna get on your soapbox. I was literally gonna get on my digital media soapbox and be like, We should not get our advice from TikTok, everybody. Let's be better <laugh>. And then it would've really bitten me in the ass to be like, I skin cycled last night. I started a new night last night. The hypocrisy that just flows from me is pretty wild. Wow. I mean, it's a good thing. I'm here to keep you in check. Honestly. It is. This is how we balance each other out. Oh boy. Okay. Let's hear a voicemail.
Voicemail: Hey, this is Allison Con, just i's trying to get a full night sleep. I actually found a little trip thanks to Allie Ward and her podcast. Shout out there, which I know you've mentioned before, and I'm super big fans. What does is, if she's up in the middle of the night and having, going back to, Shell, think of a list with the ADCs and name every fruit you can think of for Apple, for banana, for Clement so you can get more creative. I've done cars, I've done sports teams, I've names, and I never halfway the seat. So avoid your phone and start counting for the Thanks so much for everything here. Bye.
Kate: Okay. I chose this voicemail because I adamantly think this would not work for me personally. I was curious what you think. Do you think this would help you fall asleep?
Doree: I don't know it. I mean, it sort of sounds like it. It's a little bit more of an involved version of counting sheep, right?
Kate: Yes, yes. No, that's exactly right. And it also probably has the similar kind of mind zoning out as a sleep story or a sleep podcast. Yes,
Doree: Totally.
Kate: But I also feel like I would get hung up on it, Although, I don't know, maybe I would try. I think it's a good idea to move your brain onto a different topic. So maybe that's what it's doing. I was intrigued by this. I was intrigued.
Doree: Yeah. Maybe I, I'm willing to try it. I mean, I'm willing to try anything.
Kate: Are you still waking up in the middle of the night? You still dealing
Doree: With that? But occasionally. Yeah, occasionally. It's like, it's not every night, which is good, but I feel like it's often enough that it's annoying <affirmative>. You know what I mean?
Kate: I do. Well also, even if it's not every night, the one night that it happens, then throws off your, throws you off for the day and then that catches up with you at night and it's a domino effect.
Voicemail: <affirmative>.
Kate: Well, let's wrap things up here with an email, or excuse me, a text. Someone who messaged me specifically. They said, Kate, I love that you went to Disney. I would love for you to do a rundown of the trip and your travel gear, walking shoes. Rex, you and Doree Rock. Thank you for that. Yeah. My family went to Disney World for a week. I don't think I need to give a rundown on Disney. I would recommend the numerous bloggers and Disney influencers and the Disney World Tips and Tricks Facebook group. But we did all the parks and we had a great time. We did Typhoon Lagoon, the water park.
I managed to ride almost everything, even though with my motion sickness. Although there was some moments that were more questionable than others and we had a great time. But in terms of travel gear and walking shoes. So I will say some advice that I got was to switch your shoes out every day. Don't just bring one pair of sneakers to just make sure your feet are getting a break from the same shoe structure. So I brought four pairs of shoes. I brought Birkenstocks Chocos for my sandal selection. And then I brought two pairs of Hokas, the Bondi and the Clifton. And the Bondy is the one where looks like you're walking on a mattress. It's the biggest, most cushioned shoe. But it was, they're both really comfortable. And I also did a lot of observing of the shoes of Disney World. It's a lot of on clouds floating around the feets of people at Disney World right now.
<affirmative> <affirmative>. So that was just fun. Very official research that I did while I was there. And then also Brooks, I noticed a lot of Brook sneakers <affirmative> in terms of gear that I would recommend. I've mentioned my Cal pack, water bottle, bottle holder, number one. That's the best thing ever. I had plastic poncho gooder sunglasses, which travel really well. Purell, that you can hook onto anything. I ordered cooling towels off of Amazon. They sell them also at Disney World. These are towels that you get wet and they stay cool for a while and you just kind of wrap them around your neck. Or I would wrap them on my head. This was key in the hot weather. I brought travel size, supergoop, sunscreens, the tiniest ones I could find. Those were great and lasted a long time. And those were my day to day products that I used all the time. And then I would also recommend my away large carry-on suitcase, The Patagonia 26 liter MLC bag as my backpack cow pack, compact cosmetics cases, and my cow pack packing cubes and cord holder.
Those were the things. Yeah, I've become like a cow pack maniac. Their stuff is great for travel. And then look, you need a good hat. You need a good hat, <affirmative>. People walking around in ears all day. Those ears are not protecting you from the sun. You need a hat. Whether it's a Disney hat, I have a Mickey hat, but you just need a hat. Yeah, you need a hat. You need a hatch. Look, you need a hat. Truly life advice. Doree's recording this podcast in a hat right now. I am. I tend to wear a hat. Yeah, you're a good hat.
Doree: Any time I leave any, it's gotten to the point where anytime I leave the house, I wear a hat.
Kate: That's awesome.
Doree: Now I wear a baseball cap, which doesn't provide huge amounts of shade over your face. I also am wearing sunscreen, but it's better than nothing. It also protects the top of your head, which I feel like people forget about. Yes.
Kate: I used to get
Doree: Scalper scalp.
Kate: Yes.
Doree: But yesterday, Henry and I went to a birthday party and first of all, we walked there cuz it was, well he scooted, but we went on foot and wheel not in a car. And so I was like, Okay, that's a walk over in the sun. And then I knew it was gonna be in the backyard and I was like, I'm wearing my big hat. So I wore my big hat.
Kate: And did people comment on, or were they good for you?
Doree: Well, what was funny is some of these parents I've only recently met and I got a lot of, Hi, nice to meet you. And so I was like, I know it was almo. It was like people didn't recognize me in my hat.
Kate: <laugh>, you were in disguise almost.
Doree: It was very funny. Yeah, it was weird. I also look like this is a topic for another day, but generally when I drop Henry off, I am in, I'm either in my tennis clothes because I go straight from there to tennis or I'm like, I'm not dressed up. And I did, I wasn't dressed up at this birthday either, but I did have a dress on and I put a little bit of effort into my appearance. <laugh> like, I wonder. They were like, Who? You, I don't know. <laugh>. Cause you're, you're usually such a, Oh gosh.
Kate: Wow.
Doree: Any,
Kate: Well, I did wanna say I bought a up SPF hat that I saw at Costco that was seven bucks at Costco. So that was my bigger hat that I brought. But I, we've talked about SPF hats on here at length, so I won't go into it. But I do wanna say that Bagu makes this packable sun hat. That becomes a very wide brimmed hat that I'm kind of obsessed with. And it's ridiculous looking and I want it.
Doree: Interesting.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: Okay. All right.
Kate: So that might be another good travel item.
Doree: Okay. All hot tips,
Kate: Hot tips, and hot takes. That's what you get here on the Forever 35 podcast. And we thank you for listening.
Doree: All right. Bye.