Mini-Ep 337: If Life Gives You Lemmings, Make Lemmingade
Kate takes her show on the road for a camping trip and Doree settles in for a busy and normal fall season. Then, listeners ask about spa faux pas, elopement, and why fanny packs are called belt bags now.
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer.
Doree: And I'm Doris Chare.
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: No. But we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: I do like to talk about serums. I'm just gonna say we've been recording podcasts today, and I have been staring at my skin in the video today. But let me backtrack. This is a mini episode of this podcast where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
Doree: We do. But I do just wanna remind everyone that we are podcast hosts. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support, first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: If you wanna reach us, which we hope you do, our voicemail number is 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0, and our email is forever 35 podcast gmail.com. You may recall on Wednesday's episode, we requested tales from your experiences attending the Lilith Fair, and I just wanna open that up to really any concert, possibly in like, Well, I didn't wanna limit people, like, for example, you and I did not attend Lilith Fair, but I did go to the Horde Festival. I mean, maybe we have somebody who went to Woodstock 99 out there,
Doree: <affirmative>. I went to Smoking grooves.
Kate: I went to smoking grooves too. Dory
Doree: <laugh>
Kate: I went to at Great Woods.
Doree: No, I went in Camden, New Jersey.
Kate: Oh, bummer. I mean, my dad went to Woodstock 68, so he could,
Doree: Oh, the OG Woodstock. Have you watched the Woodstock 99 documentary?
Kate: I havent. I suspect I will find it incredibly upsetting. It seems chalk full of toxic masculinity and misogyny and assaults, and
Doree: this is how I feel. This is why I've not watched it, but I, I'm intrigued, but I'm also like, Ooh, this is gonna be hard to watch.
Kate: I'm having the same feeling, and I tend to have that feeling a lot with these pop culture content where it's like, Am I gonna feel upset? I can't have the energy right now to put myself through that. So I don't know if someone else has seen it and they wanna just let us know if we can handle it, let us know. It's also us know future. We were also, we can handle it alive. We were alive during that. So I remember watching on the news and just being horrified.
Doree: Did you have any desire to go? I don't remember having any desire to go.
Kate: Absolutely not. I mean, I've attended so many festivals. I went to the first Phish Festival, the Clifford Mall. I've been to a lot of Phish festivals. I've been to a lot of other music festivals, so I have a specific music taste. There's no way Woodstock 99 was calling my name. But no, I had no desire to go.
Doree: Yeah, it was not on my bucket list.
Kate: No, I'm a fish only festival goer at this point.
Doree: <laugh>, Hey, I respect that. I really
Kate: would go to, I'd go some other sort of festival, but I know what I would like. What?
Doree: I went to ACL Austin City Limits.
Kate: Oh, that's a good one.
Doree: At least twice, maybe three times. And it was really fun. I will say it was really, really fun. It was very hot, but it was very fun.
Mean, this was in 2011 and 2012. This was a very long time ago, but I thought they did a great, The lineup was great. It was just really fun. So I can been endorse.
Kate: I've never been to Bonnaroo. I've never been to Lollapalooza. I've never been to a Jingle Ball.
Doree: I've never been to a Jingle Ball.
Kate: Have you ever been to a Jingle Ball?
Doree: No, I've, I've not been to a Jingle Ball.
Kate: Jingle Ball, of course, the radio concert Iconic Kids. I'm radio concert.
Doree: I feel like at this point you're more likely to go to the Jingle Ball with your kids.
Kate: Ain't that the truth? I mean, I'm taking what I mean, harry styles.
Doree: Yeah, it's definitely for, I think it's targeted to teens.
Kate: Yeah. And what I hear you saying is that I'm not a teen anymore.
Doree: I mean, does this come as a surprise?
Kate: <laugh>? Definitely not. My back hurts, and I just took vitamins. And during our previous recording, no. Oh, I had to slip, forgotten to take my vitamins, so I just slip 'em in.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: Well listen, if you wanna weigh in on the hot topic of festivals that we've been to, also, I would throw this out there. How do you go? Are there Burning Man, folks listening, because Burning Man sounds very stressful. I've never been, I kind of wanna go, but I do feel like I'm too old to be uncomfortable now. I could handle it when I was 19. And actually this will kind of circle back into what I did this past weekend, but I think I'm too much of a homebody Who needs like five pillows? Well, it's a Burning Man is very dusty <laugh>. Very, very hot. Very hot, very hot. But we have a friend who goes and it looks amazing.
Doree: We do.
Kate: So, I mean, we can ask her. She could tell us all about, I did ask if I could tag along sometime. So
Doree: was she like maybe <laugh>?
Kate: No, she's very supportive. I mean, what if we had a forever 35 meetup at Burning Man?
Doree: Oh God. I think it's very hard to get tickets.
Kate: Yeah, I think that ship has sailed for me.
Doree: All right. Fair enough.
Kate: Anyway, Anyway, please call us to weigh on all these hot topics. How do you take care of yourself at music festivals? We wanna know also, visit our website for over 35 podcast.com for links to everything we mention, Twitter 35 Pod, Instagram at 4 35. Podcast Forever 35 Facebook group, Password Serums newsletter, Forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter. Shop all the products mentioned on the show at Shopmy.us/forever 35.
Doree: You really ran through those.
Kate: Again, I'm inspired by the Hot Wheels commercials of the 1980s with the very fast talking man.
Doree: Oh, that's right. I forgot.
Kate: I think I talked about him. I've referenced him way more than a human should
Doree: you have, He seems to have really made an impact on you.
Kate: <laugh>, Why is that? What is it about the fast talking man? I'm gonna see if I can find this commercial. Okay. I'll see if I can find the one I'm talking about. Well, this all kind of ties into what I did this past weekend and I had a great time doing it, and I went camping.
Doree: Yeah, tell me all about this.
Kate: So we have a group of friends. We all went camping together last year, and it was so much fun. We all met at our old preschool. We're all parents and our kids are all kind of, There's a variety of ages of children ranging from 12 to one and a half now. Is that right? Yeah. One and a half is the youngest. But a lot of our kids are kind of around this same age. And so we went camping last year and had a blast, and we redid it again this year and had a blast again.
Doree: Oh, that's so fun.
Kate: It was really, really fun. And I really tried. I actually, my phone died and I just stayed off of my phone. And I will talk about this on an upcoming episode, but I brought a disposable camera to take photos. I wanna talk about some of the emotions this raised in me, but I'll save that. But it was just really so wonderful to be with friends.
I love all these other kids. I've known them now for a long time. And I'm really grateful for these friendships and all friendships that I made as an adult here in California in the last 10 years, which is unique for me. And we had some good laughs. We played games, played a real rowdy code, names late into the night, fun people made. We had dinner and snacks and drinks, and we went to the ocean. I took a dip, My friend Alana and I hopped into the choppy seas, and that was very cleansing. It just felt really good. I had a lot of work stress going on, and it's always my instinct to cancel everything and just focus on work.
Doree: <affirmative>.
Kate: It really tense about stuff I have to do at work. But I made a point of trying not to do that because I'm really trying to find the balance of community and pleasure and fun and connection. And so it felt really nice. I will say this, last year we stayed in a tent this year. I rented a camper and
Doree: <affirmative>,
Kate: Look, do I wanna buy an RV now? Yes. Will that ever happen? No, But it was amazing. It was amazing. That sounds awesome, Kate. I'm really impressed. Really impressed. It felt good. And that heat wave broke. I mean, I know we're heading into what is technically fall and today it's kind of cooler here. I don't know. Are you feeling the fall vibes?
Doree: Well, in the sense of I'm suddenly like, Oh, I'm really busy. I have just a lot of things happening. I don't know. I've just taken on a bunch of, I have a lot of social commitments and tickets to shows, and it just suddenly feels busy in a way that I have not experienced since the pandemic. So it's starting to feel normal. And it's just interesting because I'm still very covid mindful, but also have made the choice for my mental health at this point in year three of the pandemic that this is what I need to do.
Kate: And how is that working out for you? Do you feel like you are so thus far making a good choice that is improving your mental health?
Doree: Yes. Right. Yeah, I do. And I think my husband, who also had become a hermit during Covid is starting to come out of it too, which is really nice. And we have some plans to do some stuff together, which I'm excited about.
So yeah, I'm just, I'm happy about the normalcy feeling, but I'm also like, Oh wait, I'm really busy <laugh>, but it feels good. I haven't been busy in this way in a
Kate: Yeah, your social calendar hasn't been full for a while.
Doree: No, it hasn't. And there was a reason why it wasn't, and now it's filling up and I really enjoy seeing friends, but I also talked about this, we talked about this last week, I think, although you're better at parties, parties where, I don't know people, I just sort freeze up, but I love an intimate gathering. And so trying to just do stuff like that,
Kate: I'm still in that space where I watch a movie and I have, if I see two people talking close to each other, or they're in a busy space and they don't have masks on my reflux, it's like, Oh God, they're gonna get covid. And then I remember the fictional world for the most part, factoring in. But do you have that happen to you where I think it's gonna take me as when the pandemic is over, it's gonna take me a while to not be in this fight or flight. Covid reactionary. Mode.
Doree: Yeah, I hear that. I mean, I think we're all still dealing with our covid trauma.
Kate: and it's still happening, I feel like. So it's been, I'm thinking of friends who are immunocompromised, who are still dealing with a very different reality than a lot of us who aren't
Doree: <affirmative>,
Kate: and I don't know, It's a weird world, but I'm excited. I do think the mental health aspect in the being with people is just so crucial. I mean, it's just so important. Important. Yeah. I'm so glad you're doing that, Doree.
Doree: Thanks, Kate. Well, let's take a little break and we'll hear from some listeners.
Kate: All right. Well, we got this text, and I actually thought this would be good to address because it was very short, but it's about an item that you and I both have used. This listener wrote, Do y'all still the skylight calendar? I just got an ad for it, and I'm very curious. I mean, my answer is yes, we still use it, and my answer is no. We rarely used it and we definitely don't know. Really? Yeah. Wow. Okay. Why you think it just didn't serve much of a purpose in our family's life? It didn't really do anything. I think the product itself could be better
Doree: <affirmative>,
Kate: but it just became a thing that took up real estate on the kitchen counter that was better used for a box of tissues. It's definitely unplugged right now, and I'm gonna give it away if I can. I can't remember.
Yeah, it was a real miss for us. It was a real miss.
Doree: That's so interesting because I feel like I got it because you were raving about it.
Kate: I thought it was going to help our family be on the same page about what we're doing and where we all are. But what I kind of realized is that we already are on, my husband and I are very Google calendared and our calendars are synced, and we have a calendar for our kids' activities and we share that. So it just didn't do anything. It was just a paper weight essentially for us.
Doree: Interesting. Okay. See, Matt and I, Matt is kind of a nightmare with his calendar, and I think this is part of his executive functioning issues related to his ADHD. For a very long time, he would not even look at a calendar, and now he does, and I will add him to things that we are doing together but he doesn't really use the calendar for himself in a way that is helpful for us. That said, I do put everything I'm doing and all of Henry's stuff on the calendar, and because Henry has a nanny, that has also been really helpful for her to just look at the calendar, be like, Oh, Henry has a swim lesson this afternoon, even though it's on her Google calendar, just to have it there in front of her I think is helpful. Henry has started looking at the calendar. He can't read.
Kate: That's adorable.
Doree: But he knows numbers. And he'll be like, What mama doing at four 30
Kate: Doree. That's so sweet.
Doree: Which is sweet. And Matt will also look at it and be like, Oh, you're recording all afternoon, or whatever. And that, and it has been helpful for us. So I agree. It's not perfect. I found the setup to be especially clunky, but once it was set up, it's been pretty easy to use and I have no complaints. And I think it has helped our household, but it's obviously not for everyone. So there you have it. Mixed reviews.
Kate: Onto the next question. Ha. Wanna take this one?
Doree: Sure. Hi all. I recently had my eyebrows waxed at a nice spa for the first time. I've been to this spa before a handful of times for other services. On the way to the waxing, the aesthetician walked me through the locker room to get to our room. After the wax, she took me to the locker room and said I could pay upstairs. I looked at the nice showers and saw an opportunity to get a relaxing child free shower with nice products. I looked around to see if there were any signs about the locker room only being for certain services, and I did not see any, so I took a quick shower. While I was in the shower, I heard another employee come in the locker room with a client and show her around and say, I'm not sure where the shower door is closed.
When I went up to the desk to pay the aesthetician was there and did not smile back at me. I paid and left and no one said anything to me about it. But now I'm spiraling that I've committed some kind of spa fo paw. Are the locker rooms only for certain services, maybe to wash off oils from massages? Can I ever go back to the spa? Yes, you can definitely go back to the spa a hundred percent. And in fact, do they deserve your business for making you feel uncomfortable? No. Maybe not. Yeah, I mean, we don't know if the aesthetician's, nons smile was related to <laugh>. Right. This person could just, But not smiling. Yeah.
I find it odd that they would expect to have a shower in their locker room and not have people use it. That seems strange to me. So yeah, I mean, I don't think you have anything to feel awkward about. It's possible. It's possible. Most people getting an eyebrow wax do not take a shower, but that doesn't mean that it's not allowed, in my opinion.
Kate: Yeah, I don't think you committed a faux pa. And I agree with Doree that the two signs that you've interpreted as them, not them trying to signal to you, who knows the other employees saying that they don't know why the shower door, Just own it. You took a shower. Great. Go back there For sure. And next time you go back, you could, if you're just getting a wax, be like, Hey, I just wanna confirm, Is it cool if I use the facilities
Doree: <affirmative>?
Kate: But Doree, I think you've said this to me recently. Remind me if this was you, but they've seen it all. Yeah. Didn't you just say this to me about the dentist when I had to tell them that my dog at my retainer, you were like, That's the least of their worries. They've seen everything. And you're certainly not the first person who got a wax to take a shower. That's not, You're okay. You're okay.
Doree: <affirmative>,
Kate: you did nothing wrong.
Doree: What I thought you were gonna say, Kate is I think this was something that Dr. Marissa Franco brought up, which is like, we are always just so focused on ourselves. Oh, do you know what I mean?
Kate: Yeah. We're interpreting it as a commentary about our behavior. About ultimately,
Doree: yeah. Ultimately it might not be about you at all. And so I think that's just something like worth keeping in mind.
Kate: I agree. Doree listener, go back to that spot. Take another shower. You deserve it. All right. One more email here before we take a break. Hi, Kate and Doree. Next week. I'm getting on an airplane for the first time since 2019, for an 11 hour flight from Dublin to San Francisco. I am so excited to be solo traveling to see my college besty and to attend a family wedding. I'm usually traveling with my kids and husband, so I'm excited and overwhelmed by the idea of 11 hours of downtime that won't include family management of any kind. What's a gal to do? Should I get stuck in the TV series? Read a whole book, listen to an audio book. I'll have my Kindle iPad and journal with me. So all recommendations will would be appreciated. PS Katie, my forever 35 partner. If you're listening, I can't wait for my second flight to see you in October.
I experience what this listener's experiencing, which is free time paralysis, where you get this window of very precious free time. And I think it's often on a plane because you're not at home. There's not like dishes you could be doing. You are literally in a seat and it's such such a treasure that you almost don't, You get overwhelmed by the options, again, could be projecting. I mean, all your ideas sound great. I would say I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself. And if you just sit on your phone and play a Wordle game or something for 11 hours, that's also fine. It's the relaxing that's important, not what you do to relax.
Doree: Yeah. I was actually going to say that I downloaded a few episodes of Extraordinary Attorney Woo, onto my laptop to watch on the plane, and I did watch a couple of them, but I also played a lot of games on my phone, <laugh>,
Kate: which is great. Which sounds so relaxing. Do you have a game that's like your hot game right now?
Doree: Best Fiends is always super easy for me to play because you don't need an internet connection, <affirmative>, as they always ask you to say in their ads. But it's true.
Kate: You're a real best fiends fiends. Do you love best?
Doree: Yeah and I actually don't play it that much at home anymore, but I do find it relaxing to play. I had been playing this poker app, but it just started randomly crashing all the time. And so I haven't been playing that really anymore because I can't <laugh>.
Kate: I like a word scapes. I do word scapes.
Doree: Oh, I'll check that out.
Kate: It's a very basic word game, but it's just satisfying and you can just go forever with it. Yeah. But I mean, in terms of book recommendations or TV show, I mean, Dory made a great TV show recommendation, but you could watch movies. You can catch up on perhaps your favorite alien romance series. Anything that's gonna feel good to you, don't put too much pressure on it.
Doree: Mean you might get on the plane and look at their in-flight entertainment system and decide you wanna watch When Harry met Sally for the 17th time, and that's fine.
Kate: I watched Bill Durham on a plane this year and it felt so good.
Doree: That's what solo plane trips are for,
Kate: Yeah that and eating a lot of pretzels and always drinking a ginger rail. If you don't get a ginger ale on a plane, I don't know who you are. Or a tomato juice or a tomato juice there, I said it. Or a tomato juice. Those are my plane drinks. My mom always used to get a tomato juice on a plane, and so now as an adult, I drink salty tomato water whenever I fly. It's just a weird habit. That and ginger ale. Do you drink anything? Do you have a plain drink?
Doree: I just drink water. I used to drink club soda with ice, and then I stopped getting ice on plains, so I just drink water.
Kate: I mean, to be clear, I also drink 70 gallons of water, but I always like to have my plane drink.
Doree: I hear you.
Kate: Ok, let's take a break.
Doree: All right. We are back and we have a couple of voicemails on totally different topics, but that's how we do things around here. All right, here we go.
Voicemail: Hey, Kate and Dory, I'm pausing this morning because I have to ask the question, did we all just decide they weren't called fanny packs anymore? Belt bag is the new term. I know. Technically they're on a belt and not a clip, but it's Fanny pack. Anyway, I'm, continue on, see where this podcast goes. Have a great day. Bye.
Doree: I have also wondered, this is a very important question because mm-hmm. <affirmative>
Kate: <affirmative> recently, you and I both tried to buy the Lululemon belt bag <affirmative>, and we had, Excuse me, it's the everywhere belt bag, which is essentially a fanny pack.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: But they call it a belt bag. Yes, they do. And I feel like I have now started calling them belt bags. Now I'm looking at my other favorite fanny pack. Let's see. Clare V. They call it a fanny pack.
Doree: Kate, I have to tell you, it looks like the Lulu Lemon one is back in stock. Oh, should we take a pod <laugh>?
Kate: Should we pause and buy it right now?
Doree: Let's buy it.
Kate: Okay. Buy it everyone. Brb. We're gonna just pause the pod and buy some fanny packs.
All right, we're back. Special report. We were just talk randomly just mentioned this fricking stupid Lulu Lemon everywhere belt bag. And Doree just happened to click on the website and see. See?
Doree: Wait, Kate, let's, Let's give the backstory, which is that the backstory, We had both tried to buy this stupid bag, we're so mad at the bag, and we both got confirmations, and then they canceled both of our orders. They were like, Sorry, we actually didn't have it in stock. And they will say, Oh,
Kate: they apologized and gave me a $30 credit, cuz I can,
Doree: They did not give me a $30 credit, so 30 credit, I will. Oh, I will.
Kate: So we've been coveting.
Doree: So we've been coveting. Look, we're lemmings just like everyone else. And literally just now, as we were talking about it, I was like, Let me just go see if they have any in stock. I'm sure they don't, but they did. And then I was like, Kate, they have it <laugh>.
Kate: So we stopped recording to go buy the bag.
Doree: So we went to buy the bag, but Kate didn't get it because as she waited, was checking out. You waited 30 seconds too long and it was gone.
Kate: I literally just hit submit order and it was like, Sorry, this is a gone now. Tough shit. Can I ask a question to the Lululemon Corporation like enough with this supply and demand bullshit, Can you just make this of the bags? I know we're in dark times, I know there's manufacturing issues, but what are you like? Stop trying, stop torturing us. This is a scam.
It's a marketing scam, and I'm falling for it. I'm falling for it with a stupid bag.
Doree: Oh, totally. Or take pre-orders or something.
Kate: Just like C Come on,
Doree: don't make us go to the website. Oh my gosh, yes. Now you can't even get on the page. It says, Oh, snap. Looks like we're all out.
Kate: This is what our parents went through with Cabbage Patch Kid Dolls, and
Doree: this is bananas
Kate: for all for a fanny pack. That, quite frankly, is probably just like any other fanny pack.
Doree: Oh, oh, totally, totally. Just like any other fanny pack. I completely agree,
Kate: but am I refreshing the page to see if more appear? Yeah, I am. I have no shame. Wow. That was a journey. What? That was wild. So to answer this,
Doree: Kate still have, Wait, hold on, Kate. They still have the large,
Kate: I bought one of the largest. I did buy a large.
Doree: Oh, okay.
Kate: But I would prefer the other side. I think the other size is more my speed. Don't worry. I did get in for the large.
Doree: Okay. All right. Wow. So that was something that was really something.
Kate: Yeah. So to answer this listener's point, yeah, it's just a mark. It's just all marketing. Everything is marketing, everything is a scam. And that's all it is. And we, I'm obviously evidence that it works because I'm like, Gotta have this specific belt bag that's a fucking fanny pack. All right. This turned into a real rage of a moment for me, but wow. That was exciting.
Doree: All right, well, Kate, let's hear a voicemail on a completely different topic.
Voicemail: Hey, Kate Doree. I am doing my evening self care, which is walking a giant five gallon bucket of water to my pumpkin patch from our creek, because I live in the Kansas City metro, and we've just really not had any rain this summer. So for any, oh my gosh, let's any chance of having pumpkins in a month, I got a water on. But the real reason I'm calling is I have been with my partner for nine and three quarter years, and we just got engaged and our plan is to get married on our 10th anniversary, which is really special to us. We really love our anniversary but we just wanted to talk and open it up on the pod about people who've eloped. I know it's been discussed on the Facebook group, but just curious of who's eloped and what they loved about it, what they wish they would've had done, what they didn't do. So yeah, thanks so much. Love the pod. Back to my pumpkins. Bye.
Kate: First of all, take me to this pumpkin patch. <laugh>. Take me to your pumpkin patch. That sounded so fall and just dreamy. Just a dreamy, So eloping. A lot of my family members have eloped, and I gotta say it seems great. Yeah. But I think eloping is, There's something very romantic about it. It also strikes me as affordable and
Doree: <affirmative>.
Kate: I think that's a really important thing to consider <laugh>.
Doree: I mean, well, this is not affordable, but it is what Ben and JLo did. They eloped and then they had a big party.
Kate: They did. You're right, though. It's not affordable. But yeah, I mean, I think eloping sounds wonderful, and I would love to hear from, if anyone wants to share their experiences,
Doree: Yeah, neither Kate nor I can speak to this personally, so we'd love to hear from listeners.
Kate: No, I think the only thing I could say is that were I to get married to my husband again. It's definitely something that I would consider certainly now as a older, like a 43 year old with a little bit more perspective.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: It was just a different time in my life, and yes, so I would definitely consider it. Yeah. All right. Well, this has been a real freaking journey.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: I'm not even sure where to begin, but what a journey.
Doree: I mean, look, maybe the next time I see you, I'll have my belt bag
Kate: and I'll rip it off and run away. I'll take it from you, <laugh>, or maybe you're gonna get it and you're just gonna be like, What is the hype over this thing? It's all made up.
Doree: I am definitely going to feel that way,
Kate: right? Yes. I think I am too. We are just, yes, we're like an example of, I don't know, just ripe consumerism at its best
Doree: <affirmative>.
Kate: But again, you know, what the fuck do you want from us? We're two humans who live in America.
Doree: Well, Kate, this has been a delight, and we'll talk to you all.
Kate: TT Y L. Bye.
Doree: Bye.