Episode 262: Back To The Future with Maurene Goo
“I still have that identity crisis. I don’t have a signature scent.”
- Maurene Goo
Kate tells Doree about her road trip and Doree prepares for her own family trip. Then, author and beloved returning guest Maurene Goo joins to chat about some huge life changes that affected the writing of her new book Throwback, how her lack of a signature scent caused a minor identity crisis, and how she became an eyelash extension kind of girl.
Photo Credit: Sela Shiloni.
Mentioned in this Episode
Connect with Maurene Goo
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer.
Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir.
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: We're not, but we're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: Welcome to the show. If you want to find links to everything we mention here, you can visit our website Forever35podcast.com. Our Instagram is @Forever35podcast, and you can find more of the Forever35 community on Facebook in our group where the Password is Serums.
Doree: You can also shop our favorite products shopmy.us/Forever35. Sign up for our newsletter at forever35podcast.com/newsletter. Call or text us at (781) 591-0390. Email us at Forever35podcast@gmail.com. And I know we mentioned this on the last episode, but just a reminder about our giving circle for Virginia. We are trying to prevent that super majority. So head on over, give what you can, $5, $10, whatever. It all helps. Thank you.
Kate: It all helps.
Doree: It all helps. The link is in the show notes and on our website.
Kate: Well Doree. Hello.
Doree: Hello Kate.
Kate: Longtime no talk.
Doree: Yes,
Kate: Jk. We literally just recorded an episode two seconds ago. Oh. But I just got back from my family kid's spring break trip that I was on.
Doree: You did.
Kate: And so normally when one of us is kind of on vacation, it gets a little quiet.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: It's like when your office mate is gone and their cubicle is dark.
Doree: It's so true.
Kate: It's true. And you're about to leave on a little trip. So I preparing to be loanly.
Doree: And I'm about to leave.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: Oh my gosh.
Kate: I know. But I just have to say that I had a really wonderful vacation with my family that I felt was very nourishing and
Doree: Oh, yay.
Kate: Really positive. And I'm coming out of it just feeling really inspired and energized and happy, which I find travel very stressful. And I thought for sure this trip was going to be that. And we had stressful moments, but my husband took the lead here and planned a road trip through the Southwest for our family. I did.
Doree: We love that.
Kate: None of the planning. So I really appreciate him doing the labor on that one. And we just had a blast. And I saw parts of the country that I had never seen before. We went to a bunch of national parks. We went to Zion.
Doree: So Cool.
Kate: Arches Canyon Lands, the Grand Canyon. We went to Sedona. I hiked to a vortex.
Doree: I mean,
Kate: I did, as mentioned in a previous episode, ride a mule on the edge of the Grand Canyon and did receive a text from you in the middle of it. And I think I wrote
Doree: And you responded!
Kate: I did! On the Mule. And I think I wrote, I'm on a fucking mule right now.
Doree: You did
Kate: Well, because I didn't know. Sometimes I'm like, is there a crisis or is everything okay? Because if it's not a crisis, if we're just talking about should I start using this sunscreen, I'm going to respond later. But if it's a crisis, if I'm on a mule and a friend needs me, I'm going to be there.
Doree: Look, I appreciate that. But I did really laugh when I got that text because you also sent a picture and I was like, oh, she's really on a mule. She's not joking. She's not kidding around here.
Kate: No, I am a horse girl turned mule girl. But Yeah, I, Our national parks were just such a freaking treasure and it was just really magical to get to be out in these spaces and get to experience them. We went through Monument Valley and I just loved every second of it.
Doree: That is so cool.
Kate: It was very cool. It rained almost the entire time and we camped out a couple nights, which was very cold. But we really had fun as a family too. There was minimal fighting, which never happens. So I'm feeling inspired by the southwest.
Doree: I am going to take some of that warm and cozy familial vacation feeling. And I'm going to try and bottle it for my own family vacation that is coming up this week. Because as you know, people like to say that traveling with young children, it's never a vacation. It's a trip.
Kate: I've heard that. I've experienced it.
Doree: You have. And so it does sort of hearten me to hear that. It sounds like you really had a vacation. It was active, but it wasn't stressful in the way that going on a trip with a young child is stressful. So that is encouraging to me as the parent of a young child. But what I will say is that Henry is a very, we're going to New York, Henry is very excited.
Kate: Oh, Doree.
Doree: And keeps talking about it. And what are we going to do in New York? And like,
Kate: oh, Doree,
Doree: We're going to ride the subway. And I told him, we're going to go to a building that has a hundred floors and he is just, his little mind I think is going to be blown. And so I don't think that I'm going to have quite the same experience as you, but I do think he's now old enough that it's, it's not like I'm going to be able to see him appreciating New York, I think in a way that he just wasn't capable of even a year ago.
Kate: It's not going to be the time where your flight to New York was sent to Buffalo and then Henry threw up and then you slipped and fell in the throw up.
Doree: Oh my God.
Kate: Because that is a real thing that happened to you. And I will never forget it.
Doree: I don't think it's going to be like that. I don't. I hope.
Kate: That was one of the worst travel stories I've ever heard of anybody.
Doree: It was next level,
Kate: Truly,
Doree: Truly, truly next level.
Kate: Well, speaking of travel.
Doree: Oh, I see what you did there
Kate: Because our guest today has a new book coming out that involves time travel. We are just going to jump right into things because
Doree: let's do it.
Kate: Our guest today is a dear friend of both of ours, both in real life and as a guest on this podcast. We are talking to Maurene Goo. You have heard her on this show before. She always brings the wit and the wisdom and the lipsticks. I mean, she just comes equipped with everything.
Doree: She does. Well, she is a list as we discuss in our chat with her. She is a listener of the pod, which I think does always help.
Kate: She fully knows what's going on in this pod world.
Doree: She knows whats up. yeah.
Kate: Yeah. If you are tuning in to Maureen for the first time, let us tell you a little bit about her. She is an author who grew up here in Los Angeles. She studied communication at uc, San Diego, and then received a master's in publishing, writing and literature at Emerson College. And before publishing her first book, which is titled Since You asked, she worked in both textbook and art book publishing. She lives here in Los Angeles with her husband and her son and very cute cat. And her new book is really freaking great. It is called Throwback. It comes out April 11th. It is a book that involves time travel back to the nineties. And
Doree: It really hit my sweet spot.
Kate: It, it's like it scratches our itches.
Doree: It really does.
Kate: And it's just wonderful. We're so excited for the world to get to read it and to get to hear our conversation.
Doree: Without further ado, here is Maureen.
Kate: Our guest today is Maurene Goo. Maurene, as I think I said to you in a text or email like the Steve Martin to our S N L or the Tom Hanks, if you will. You're a repeat guest. You've been a guest host.
Doree: Oh my gosh, yes.
Kate: You might be the most recurring podcast and we don't have a lot of recurring guests, but you're just special.
Maurene: I'm honored. I love this for myself. I listen to every single episode of your shell, so it's like, I feel very territorial actually about your podcast. So I'm glad to I'm I'm going to be competitive with your other guests.
Kate: Well, and you also legitimately listened to the podcast, which is a feat.
Maurene: Yes.
Kate: I think not every no shade, listening to a podcast is work and commitment and it takes time. So I'm very honored that we are still a part of your life, your podcast life. We're part of your human life also. But in your podcast life,
Maurene: I listen to four podcasts and only those for a podcasts. It's the most consistent thing about my life. But I feel like, and you guys have three episodes a week. It's, for me, it's not even work at all to listen to your podcast. It's just like,
Doree: Would you say that podcasts are self care for you?
Maurene: Oh, goodsegway.
Kate: Good. I like that Doree.
Maurene: Yes, they are. And in fact, in my book, I thank my favorite podcasters because I really think they saved my sanity during the pandemic and during pregnancy and everything. Who, yes, you guys can find your name's in the backup.
Kate: Not going to assume that we're in there, but who are the other podcasters that were real lifesavers for you or what other shows rather,
Maurene: Its going to be funny because to me you guys are an obvious podcast of comfort. But then the other podcasts are film podcasts. So I listen to you, I listen to the Empire podcast, which is the podcast based on the British Film Magazine. I'm obsessed. I feel like those guys are my friends. They don't know me. I'm those embarrassing Parasocial people online with them where I respond to their tweets and they're like, okay,
Kate: You send dms that go unanswered. I do that with some people.
Maurene: And I'm like, I swear I'm a person. And then I listen to Blank Check, which is also a film podcast. And then the other one that I really Oh, you're wrong about.
Kate: Oh yeah.
Maurene: So those were the four that really kept me afloat during the past few years. And then every once in a while, I have other ones that I might dip into, but not as religiously. And then right now, now, because there's all these good TV shows back on, I listen to the Prestige TV podcast from The Ringer.
Kate: Yeah,
Doree: I feel like the Ringer. Ringer's podcasts are the pop culture gold standard.
Maurene: Yeah. And I mean, I love Joanna Robinson, so now that she's over there, it's like, yes, I will follow her. Oh yes. And the other podcast I listened to a lot during the election was Pod Save America. But I had to kind of stop for my mental health of after we, me and Joe Biden won the election. I was like, and now my brain needs a little break.
Kate: Yeah, yeah, I did that too.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: Where there are political podcasts that I tune into for two years and then I break up with them and then we get back together and pr, political pod around Political roundtable. Yeah, there's a whole list I'll be tuning back into. I'm sure. And I do check in time to time, but sometimes I think that mental health break is important because the echo chamber and the noise is so intense, nonstop.
Maurene: And then, do you know what's fun is when you take a break and then you go back and you're like, Ooh, I have all these podcasts to catch up on. If you're in the mood again. Oh, sorry, one more. That's very important to me. Still processing. That one was like, Ugh. Yeah, so great. And it's not on all the time, so that's why it's not on top of mine for me. But yeah. Right.
Kate: What else do you consider in your day-to-day like since we've last talked to you, you've had a child, you've been working on a variety of different writing projects, including your new book. What's kind of top of your self-care list right now?
Maurene: So obviously thought about this before this interview, and I've been thinking about this a lot. Cause I think it's something I discovered in therapy, which is especially after having a baby, but in the pandemic too, more than anything, every single day I will always make time for no matter what, talking to my friends. So whether we have a group chat sometimes, and whether it's chatting online or I have online friends in a Slack, or seeing them in person, I just, or just DM group dms. I just need that interaction there. Kind of low key consistently every day. So I think it's because I'm an extrovert, but I also just really need my friends in a way that, I don't know, it's just really good for my mental health.
Doree: Sorry, I have a logistical question about this. How do you find Slack as a means of keeping in touch with friends?
Maurene: It's actually amazing. So I have a group of author friends that I met, just a lot of them I have never even met in real life. But we started a Slack, I don't even know, seven years ago now. And then I started one during the pandemic with a bunch of publishing and author related people who had babies in 2020. I did. Cause I realized all of us were suffering. I'm reading everybody's Instagram stories where we're all complaining and we're all going through it. So I'm like, why don't bring us together in Slack? So I Slack and I've got this author friend Slack, and I've used it for work purposes too, but for friendship, it's amazing. But it's kind of like, I try to do it with my college friends who are not tech savvy people. And it just bombed. Cause I was like, interesting. I don't get it. Yeah.
Kate: Huh. Interesting. I have a few random friend slacks, but WhatsApp has kind of become my friend where I'm congregating with groups for some reason.
Doree: So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back.
Kate: Okay. I wanted to talk about Throwback because I feel the Buzz building and I'm really excited for you. Bees in the background. I'm excited for you as a friend and a reader and a fan of your work. And I just think this is such a very cool book that people are going to love. So could you tell us and our listeners, I hate to say give us the logline elevator pitch, but tell us what Throwback is about and can you dig in a little bit to your own personal inspiration for the book?
Maurene: Yes, of course. First of all, thank you. I, I'm like nervous. I'm feeling so anxious right now. You guys caught me in a very anxiety spiral. Guys know the pre Iub period. It's almost, I think when you're pregnant you kind of get this too, where people aren't you so excited. And I don't blame them. Of course you think I'm excited, but you want to be like, actually no, I want to die.
Kate: Yes. That's the perfect way of describing it, where so many people are excited for you and they think you're excited, but truly you just want to dig a hole and crawl into it forever.
Maurene: I know. And I'm always honest. I'm always like, no, I'm actually really stressed. And then you just watch their faces fall. Cause they just want to be happy for you. And I'm like, no, but thank you. Yeah. So well throw back. I just have a lot of high hopes for this book. I hope it does well. I have a new publisher and new agent and everything, so it's kind of like a refresh for me for my author life. So just low pressure stakes. Anyways, Throwback. It is a very, it's a book that's been a long time in the making because it is my big mother-daughter book. And the most fraught relationship of my teen years was with my mother. And it took me, I'm 40 now, took me decades of self-reflection and growing up and now years of therapy to really understand where my mom was coming from. And I honestly have nothing but empathy for my mom at that time. She was like my age if I think about it, when I was having these horrible fights with her. And so when I was writing Throwback, I thought, okay, what if I could give teenage me a shortcut to those decades that it took me to understand my mom, what a world of difference it would've made in our relationship. And obviously I love Back to the Future, it's one of my favorite movies. And it is also, I love time travel. It's one of my favorite genres, especially a time travel romance actually. And so I thought, okay, I'm going to tell this heavy mother-daughter thing that I'm kind of bracing myself to delve into through this fun package of time travel. And it was really like the story came out pretty easily from there. And it's obviously high jinx cause there's 90, basically she, so Sam King does not get along with her mom. She's like Total Gen Z, cool girl. And then her mom is kind of this striving, I call her Korean Gwyneth Paltro, kind of a bougie, very assimilated American, Korean American. And so she goes back in time after a fight and she's GenX to be, her mom is Gen X, which I made her purposely at least three years older than me. So just to save my own sanity. And she goes back to 1995 and she has to go to high school with her mom and figure out their stuff. So that was a fun exercise for me. And revisiting the nineties, but also really getting into, I wrote this in 2020, like I said, and I started it before the pandemic, before I was pregnant. And I finished it two years into the Pandemic with a baby. So I became a mom when I wrote this. And it kind of changed the trajectory of the book. It became very much, what does it mean to be American? I read Kathy Park Kong's minor feelings during the process and kind of shifted my view of the American dream and watching America kind of go down in flames and all the Asian hate crimes and everything. It was just kind of a sobering reality to write this book in that at first was very optimistic about the further American dream is passed down. But I was like, what are the benefits and also the downsides to being further removed from that immigrant experience. What do you as a third generation kid benefit from? And also how much of your culture do you lose along the way? So it became a lot more heavy as I wrote it, but I still think it's a fun, from what I hear, it's a fun, fast read.
Doree: I mean, I also loved it.
Maurene: Oh thanks Doree.
Doree: Well, I am almost exactly Priscilla's age. I think she's a year older than me. And there was so much in there of seeing the nineties through a Gen Z's eyes.
Maurene: Yes,
Doree: Really. It was amazing. And I just loved how at one point I think Sam is, I realized I'm not going to be able to just teach feminism to my mom in 1995. This is just not happening. But just I think for Sam, seeing that context of the world that her mom grew up in is so important. And also, I loved how you portrayed the mom who is second generation as just wanting to assimilate. And there's the opening scene of your book where they're trying to get into this white country club. And then Sam, who's third generation, almost looks down on her mom for not wanting to be more Korean. So I thought you did that so beautifully, and I was hoping you could talk a little bit about how you wrote that and what writing those characters brought up for you as a Korean American.
Maurene: Yeah, so I mean, thank you Doree it. I didn't, okay. So everyone always thinks I relate to Priscilla more than Sam and Priscilla's relationship to her mother. I is more realistic to me and my mom, obviously because my mom was an immigrant. Priscilla's mom was an immigrant. But as far as mental their connection to their identity as Korean American, I way more relate to Sam because I grew up that little microgeneration between me and Priscilla actually is a big one for Asian Americans, I think because she's the same age as my older cousins who also grew up in the same city as me. So this city that throwback is, it's like a fictional version of the town I grew up in. And by the time I went to high school, I was like, my school was so diverse. There were five white kids at my high school and most of us were kids of immigrants. A lot of us were Asian American. And whereas I remember the older kids, my neighbor who babysat me, my cousins, they dealt with a lot of racist shit. And they really felt so, they felt like such outsiders. They had to have those experiences that Priscilla has, obviously. So that's how I went into it. I'm way more Korean, I embrace it. And so I thought I couldn't really relate to Priscilla, but as I started writing the book and I had to go back into my own memories of all the microaggressions, and so there's a racist teacher in this book totally based on her name is very similar to the real teacher. That was such a racist biotch. And I remember as a teen, we would just call her, oh, that racist old, and laugh it off. But then I'm like, 41 reliving this. And I'm like,
Doree: yeah,
Maurene: that was awful. And so having to go back and remember it, I realized, oh, okay. It wasn't as easy as I thought it was. I have this rosey view of I grew up in this super multicultural high school. I didn't deal with this stuff, but it was there and I didn't really thought about that in so long. So it was very interesting to go back into those memories and into that head space. And it's going to draw from my own, trauma is a bit of a strong word, but it is pretty traumatic.
Kate: I think it fits.
Maurene: Yeah.
Kate: What's your mom's understanding of the book? I know there's always this question, did have your parents read your book? And if you have parents, but I think specifically when it becomes about the relationship, even when it's fiction, people always ask. But I'm curious, how does your mom feel in general, just about you writing about these relationships, the kind of maternal mother-daughter relationship, and both the bond and also how fucking fraught it can be?
Maurene: That is a very good question because it's really complicated. My mom is really proud of me and she supports me. So she's going to show up to my book launch with her book club.
Doree: Oh wow.
Maurene: Which is very sweet.
Kate: Oh, I love it.
Maurene: But I love it. It also makes me so nervous. I'm like, oh no, okay, here we go. They're going to really understand. I'm writing about my mom here and this book. I don't mind when people ask me because I clearly say this was really coming from my own issues with my mother. And I had to unpack it. Writing this book. I mean, I think it's more of a universal story about mothers and daughters, but obviously stemming inspired by my own. And my mom is not a reader. This is the funniest thing. So she always says, I hated reading growing up. She hates writing. My mom was a journalist, so I was like, you hated reading and writing. Ok, wow. My mom is really a math quiz. She's like totally like a math genius. And so it was funny to me. She started off as a journalist in Korea and then she came here and she eventually became a bank executive, which is way more, actually my mom's speed. So she doesn't like to read. And she goes through my books, but she reads, and my dad is, my dad is the reader. He will not read my books because my dad is so complicated. My dad is like, I love him and he cares about me in so many ways, but he has a lot of trouble with emotions. And so I don't think he can face reading my books is too vulnerable or something. Do you know what I mean?
Kate: Yes.
Maurene: It's just too, he would have to face his feelings about his daughter writing books, I think.
Doree: Ooh.
Maurene: And my mom knows, this is a mother-daughter book. I think I've mentioned it to her. And my first book since you asked, was very autobiographical. It was about our family, essentially. And so my mom had made a joke like, oh gosh, all of our stuff has coming out. But my mom would never say, don't write about it. She would never make me feel bad about it. So for all of my moms, she's a very anxious person. She and I are very combative with each other. She can be very critical. But she has always supported me. I think she's always, she's had confidence in me and the things that I like to do. She's always been like, okay, they let me go to grad school to study publishing in Boston. They're like, what? Alright. They don't get any of it, but they're like, ok, if you say so, you want to write books. Oh, okay. But now that I'm there, she's very supportive, she's very proud. But we don't sit there and unpack what I wrote about and then discuss our feelings that it's never going to happen unless we're fighting some. And then she comes out and says, how bad in your book. I can see that happening. But yeah, we're not going to get all real about it. Cause I talk about my feelings so freely with everybody but my family. It's one of those things,
Kate: I think that's a very common thing actually. I feel like a lot of you're that just like a light bulbs are going off as you say that. Yeah.
Maurene: It's so interesting. Right? Yes. Lots. This is, I, I've only scratched the surface of this topic in therapy.
Doree: I mean, people are in therapy for decades still talking about this stuff. So Makes sense. But it's
Kate: Interesting. Ok. Anyway, sorry, go ahead, Doree.
Doree: No, I was just going to say, the last time that I saw you, we were talking about how, we were talking about product recall, and you were saying we just thought it would be fun for you to talk about some of the nineties products or aughts or eighties or whatever that you were very into. I'd love to hear if there's, oh my gosh, one or two that really stick out to you as iconic products.
Maurene: Yes. Bath and Body Works, lotions, sparkling pear scent. Do you guys remember, I wonder if Bath and Body Works, was that big in your side of the
Kate: I had, Yes. It was a little bit later, but I remember the pear fragrance being Victoria's Secret. I remember everybody.
Maurene: Was there more than one.
Kate: No, I think there's more. But I just remember Victoria's Secret. There was a fragrance moment my junior and senior year of high school where we were all dousing ourselves in this fucking pear smell.
Maurene: I Know. And we probably, it smells good in the bottle, but I remember smelling it on one of my friends and being like, oh my God. It smelled rotting fruit on her body. Cause it just didn't gel with her body chemistry.
Doree: Oh my God.
Maurene: I remember thinking maybe all of us are making a mistake. And then the other product, it's not really from my teen years, but when I was in elementary school, all the rage was soft lips chapstick, that skinny little tube.
Kate: Oh my God. Oh my God.
Doree: Yes. Yes.
Maurene: Remember?
Kate: Oh my God, yes.
Maurene: Skinny tube. And you just felt like it was so cool and classy.
Doree: Yes.
Maurene: Yeah. Those were two really iconic. And then of course middle school, all the girls were sunflowers for few. Oh yes. By flowers. And I mentioned some flowers in the books. I'm like, I have to. That is the scent of 1995. But I never got to wear it because my mom was over my dead body. Are you allowed to wear perfume? So,
Kate: Oh wait. So this is so interesting because I wanted to ask you if you remember your first fragrance and if you had a fragrance as a young person, but that was your mom was like, no, that was the line in the sand.
Maurene: And my mom said, and my mom was like, and you know, can't wear perfume because I will smell it when you get home, so you can't even sneak it. And I was like, God damn it.
Doree: Wow.
Maurene: So yeah, I didn't wear it. I think there's just some weird puritanical view she had about perfume. And so I didn't get to wear perfume. I think in college I was wearing the Versace, it makes me sound fancy. I got a Versace perfume in college. But I feel like when you're young, the only fancy thing you could get was perfume. It was, I can get the Versace perfume. It was Bright Star, or what was it called? Dark star. But basically I only wore perfumes that my friends wore. Cause I didn't understand sense. And I still have that identity crisis. I don't have a signature scent. I don't know what I like. And so I have three perfumes and I just stare at them every day on my dresser. I can't, tell if they smell good. You on me. So I feel like that's one thing where I'm very of myself as a person in my taste, but with perfume, I'm very confused.
Doree: Did your mom wear perfume?
Maurene: No. Maybe that's why I had no perfume influencers. My really very feminine, fancy Persian best friends in college. They wore the best perfumes and they always smelled delicious. But I would try to copy them and I felt like just didn't work. So yeah.
Doree: That's really funny.
Maurene: I remember Elizabeth Arden like sunflowers. Was it.
Kate: Yeah. I remember that was a big one for me. In high school. I didn't have it, but I can remember it. But my mom was a big perfume wearer, which is why I think scents so important to me. I don't know how to explain it, but I can still smell hugging my mom before she would go out and she wore Kristal by Chanel and she was not ooh, especially fancy. And we didn't have a big budget for perfume. I don't know where that came from, but she had a few items that were just so, I don't know, so fancy and exciting for me. I can still remember that smell. Then I tried to buy it and I was like, dry heaving. It's such a strong scent.
Maurene: I know. I also don't think I know how much perfume to put on. And where, some people just smell the perfect amount of scent. When you hug them, you're like, oh, you smell so good. And I've asked my husband so many times, what do I smell? Please just tell me. And he's like, you have the best smell, which is nothing. You smell nothing. I'm like, no, I want to smell. I just want to have a scent that people just know me. And he's like, why? You should be glad you don't smell bad and you just smell nothing. It's the best smell.
Doree: You want to signature scent.
Maurene: Yeah, I know Kate. I was like, I should ask Kate about which perfume to get. Cause you're like kind of an expert.
Kate: But I think it's so individual. I don't, scent is so particular Doree and I, we have very different opinions on smells and I think Doree and I have similar tastes about other things, but you really have a stronger reaction. Doree. And I love the way things, certain things smell, and I just think it's, you got to have to, it just has to be for you,
Doree: Kate. I will tell you though, today I have my Montes, my Jenny Kane Montecito candle under,
Kate: Oh my God,
Doree: Underneath best smell, with my candle warmer. And I really feel like I'm at your house. Oh,
Kate: That is touching that you identify that with my house because cucumber, mint candles is all I want people to think i smell like.
Doree: Yes, the mint. The mint is very dominant on the Montes candle.
Kate: It is. And you don't think you're going to love the scent of Mint, but then it's like, yeah, but they want to do is smell mint.
Doree: It's really nice.
Maurene: Yeah, yeah. Because of you guys though. Actually, I went to a Jenny Kane store and I sniffed all of their candles because I was like, oh my gosh. Forever35 is always talking about these Jenny Kae candles that sniffed all of them. And they do smell so effing good.
Kate: They're really nice.
Doree: I legit do.
Kate: Yeah, they sponsor the pod. But yeah, that's how we've had access to the candles. I think I would've found them anyway and become obsessed with them. Anyway.
Maurene: I paid attention to all your guys' sent talks. I remember you talked about the hotel, hotel candle too, and I was interested in that.
Kate: Oh, I'll f I'll find this for you. Yeah, this I smelled at an Airbnb and I went nuts. It's not.
Maurene: And I've also tried to the cozy whatever one from Target.
Kate: Yeah. Cozy Nights.
Doree: Oh, cozy Nights. Cozy Nights is a good one.
Maurene: Yeah. Cozy Nights.
Kate: Oh yeah,
Maurene: That's a good one. Yeah.
Kate: I love a smell. I love smell
Maurene: Me too.
Kate: And I know oftentimes then we'll get these, we'll read something or it's like candles are admitting all these toxic poisons into your air. And I'm like, you know what? So is traffic on the highway? That's one mile from my house. I think I'm just going to, I know. Have to. We have
Maurene: To steps the candle. Have to kick our, yeah, come on. Let us live a little bit. It's also like the mattress you sleep on is killing you too. Everything. So it's like, oh my God. All right. At least I get to light a nice candle.
Kate: Thank you, Maurene. Thank you for that permission. Okay, well let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. Maurene. I wanted to just raise a product in front of the camera, which is this Sicily lip pencil. I think you recommended this the first time you were a guest on the show. I went out and bought it. I love it. I still use it. Which means this is probably three to five years old. What are your current go-to makeup, skincare, whatever prods are you into? Are you leaning into prods? Are you leaning away? Where is like, what's the Maurene Goo experience right now?
Maurene: Yes. I also use that Sicily. I just wore it last night for a book event.
Kate: It's really great.
Maurene: It's really great. Yeah. It's just so moisturizer. I think you and I talk about this, that we're not great with actual lipstick. It has to be really moisturizing and light. I think real lipstick just looks bad on me, but it could just be my own whatever, negative self talk. But I'm also like you trying to streamline my products because I truly can't tell what these things are doing. And I talked to, basically, I've listened to you guys a lot for info. And then I've talked to my facialist and the only thing that is proven to actually work with all this anti-aging stuff is retinol. So my face tolerates retinol really well. It's something I discovered when I had acne and we used just a pure retinol and it was like magic. It literally got rid of any kind of cystic acne I had. And wow, my skin had no sensitivity to it. So I got the skins retinol night cream that you guys have recommended several times. The 3% I believe, just as a starter. So I got rid of, basically I got rid of my lactic as the lactic acid serum I was doing the peptide serum I was doing, and I'm going to just try this one. And I use it with a really good moisturizer, the Ren moisturizer that I've talked about with Doree.
Kate: Oh yes, I need to try more. So good Ren,
Maurene: It's so good. Because I don't think I knew I underestimated how dry my skin was. I always just thought of dry skin, but I needed something heavy duty and really smeared on. And this stuff, it feels like Vaseline, but it literally melts into your face. And
Kate: I like both those things.
Maurene: And I think that between moisturizing and a ton of sunblock, my skin is just a billion times better than even five years ago. So I use a cleanser, the drunk elephant, the Jelly Cleanser, because it takes off my makeup really well. And it's not too crazy.
Kate: I need to talk more about soft lips. I'm like wheeling right now. I haven't thought about these fucking soft lips. And this is like, it's looking at high school. This is so funny. Oh my God. It's like has me shaken. I haven't thought about this product in so long.
Maurene: This is so funny how certain things are cool girl things. And that soft lips balm was cool.
Kate: Remember. They dried out my lip. I remember them. I didn't, yeah,
Maurene: They're not great.
Kate: No, but oh God, we all had soft lips. Okay, sorry, Maurene, you were saying about drunk elephant
Maurene: Cleanser, the drunk elephant. So the cleanser really good. Take off my makeup and it feels light. And then I use a toner, which I mentioned last time, and I still use it. It's be the skin toner, power toner. I think it's a Korean brand. And then I use Kremer lab essence. Because I'm Korean, I just cannot mix out the essence from my life. I just feel like
Kate: I admire that.
Maurene: I feel like I can't prove it's doing anything, but if I stop taking it, something might happen to me. And so I use that and then I'm doing the retinol with the cream. And then during the day I just wash my face with water. And then I put on, if it's dry, then I put on some moisturizer and then my sunblock. Otherwise I just put on sunblock. So that is it for skincare makeup. Okay. So again, makeup is one of those things like fragrance where I feel like I don't quite know makeup very well. And so I just use a bare minimum. I'm not wearing any right now, but usually I do my eyebrows. And do guys feel like with age your eyebrows are disappearing?
Doree: I mean, I feel like my eyebrows never truly recovered from the nineties.
Maurene: Oh, me too.
Doree: And I mean, I would not have a ton of, I wouldn't have a lot of eyebrows anyway. But I feel like what little eyebrows I had, I did not do them any. I did them a real disservice. I'll say.
Maurene: I know, same. And I remember my mom was on me for plucking them and I was like, yeah, no, anything. And now I have real regrets. So I use a brow brush. Sometimes I use blue brow, sometimes I use the benefit brow, I forget what it's called, their brow brush. And then I fill it in with a powder Anastasia powder stuff. I'm trying to find the elusive permanent, semi-permanent makeup to fix my eyebrows. But I'm, I'm too scared to microblade. I do think microblading is good for Asian eyebrows because we have the worst eyebrows and the, it's so precise at drawing each little hair, which is what I need. But I'm scared to do that. And there are other processes that I have to look into because I do this every day and I hate it. It's just so much time. And always some days I'm like, yes, I did it. And some days I'm like, oh my God, I look insane. But whatever.
Kate: Even that feeling where you're like, I am have so, so much eyebrow happening right now
Maurene: It's just like what happened? And then usually sometimes I put on the Glossier Glossier skin tint. So basically my goal in life was to get my skin to a place where I didn't need to wear any kind of foundation. They feel good in public. And I have reached that goal. So I'm really glad not to say my skin looks perfect, but I'm just kind of done caring about it. I'm like, okay, it's good enough. Yeah. So I use that if I need to. And then I use concealer on my dark spots. Cause I have a lot of age spots. That's like a thing that Asian women often get. I use concealer. And that's the, how do you pronounce it? The clothes.
Kate: Oh music. The
Maurene: French one in the Bluetooth.
Kate: Cla. Cla,
Maurene: Yes. Oh my god. I hate pronouncing French stuff in public. But yes, that's
Kate: Something like that.
Maurene: That is the best concealer for, I don't know about Undereye cause I don't use Undereye, but that is the best for dark spots. Zits, I can't even that one. Little tube last for years too. And then I use blush. I use that cream stick blush that you guys recommended. It comes in that grayish tube. Ok. I'm so bad. I don't remember the names of any of my stuff.
Kate: There's Ilia, there's the Westman Italian that I use. I think
Maurene: That is the one.
Kate: Is that the one? Yes. I love that cream blush. That stuff is expensive. But I love it.
Maurene: Yeah, it was expensive. But I think it's worth it because it's the one thing that makes me feel better about my life when I have blush on. And then I used to always do a cat eye with liquid liner because I just feel very self-conscious of my eyes getting just kind of sagging and disappearing from my face. But I actually just had to give in and realize that I am a eyelash extensions kind of gal. It makes me feel better about my life. I just
Doree: Ok.
Kate: Wait a second.
Maurene: I just feel 10 billion times better. Let's just be real. I just look better with eyelash extensions.
Kate: Okay, so no wait, is this, you're going to a place and getting them done?
Maurene: Yeah. So I used to go to various different women trying to find the right one. And then I found out that one of my best friend's little sister, she does it and she's great. And so she does it right out of Highland Park, which is close to me. And now, so this is almost a month in. So I've lost a lot.
Kate: Oh Wow. They look great.
Maurene: So it's better than if I didn't have them. So they just open up my eyes and make me feel, and I don't have to wear the liquid eyeliner. It kind of does that job for me. It's also just like I don't have to do the precision of a cat eye every day, which is really nice. So
Kate: Can I ask a question about the eyelash extensions? Do they stay on, you wash your face, you take your makeup off, and theyre just on for awhile?
Maurene: Yes, but you do have to be careful. Yeah.
Kate: Okay.
Maurene: I can totally get, some people would never have the patience for them and I don't blame them. But my vanity wins the day. So I'm like, I will do anything to have these eyelashes. So I do, I sleep on my side and sometimes I get a little crunchy, but you just brush them out. I wash around them. And if I do wear eye makeup, I just very carefully use an oil free eye makeup remover and a Q-tip. Just be gentle, because if you're not, then they'll just pop off. But I also don't close my eyes and scrub my face. I just kind of wash around my face. So it is a little bit of a adjustment. But for me it's like it's very much worth it. And I think some people can't tolerate how it feels. Cause you can kind of feel them. But for me, after the first couple days, I don't feel them anymore. I really,
Kate: I've never had them.
Maurene: But you know, guys have eyelashes. If I had even a 10th of the eyelashes that you have, Kate, then I would not do this at all. But what's great if you do have eyelashes and you don't putting on, I make up and curling them every day. It's the lift, lift and tint.
Kate: I've always wanted to do one of those.
Maurene: Kate do it. And Doree do it because it's just, it's like
Doree: I've done a lift. I've done, I've done the lift.
Kate: Do you have a recommendation of where I can go for my lift? I've truly always wanted to do this.
Maurene: I'll give you my eyelash girl.
Kate: Oh my God, thank you. Okay,
Maurene: Yes, Go to her. She did a great, so she did it on me. Cause I was like, let's just try it in case. And it was like, oh my God, I do have eyelashes, but I would still rather pay a little more to get more bang for my buck, which is extensions for me. But if I had even just a little more eyelashes and they're a little longer, I would just do the tent and lift. I've become a real fan of semi-permanent makeup. I've discovered
Kate: I am fascinated by semi-permanent makeup. I've never dabbled, but I've a lot of friends, especially with the microblading or a permanent eyeliner. I have a lot of friends who have done it who really swear by it and it looks fantastic. And I have tattoos. So I don't know why the semi-permanent makeup part scares me more. I don't know what that is about. It's my own shit.
Maurene: Yeah. I think at first I was very hesitant because it's your face and you don't want to mess it up. But it's gotten so good. And also it's just time for me. I'm like, I spent too much time trying to draw these eyebrows and trying to make my eyes look a certain way. And I'm like, lemme just, I wouldn't do lips. Cause that kind of scares me a little bit. That it's pigment in your lips. But maybe, I mean, I bet people do it. It looks great.
Doree: Interesting.
Kate: Interesting. People weigh in. Leave us a message. I want to know more.
Maurene: Tell me about, I bet a lot of people have a good positive eyebrow stories that they'll inspire me.
Kate: Yeah. If we find you some eyebrow people in la, we'll send them your way.
Maurene: Yes, please.
Kate: Well, Maureen, we're so excited for everybody to get their hands on Throwback. It's out April 11th, so that will be next week at the time of this recording. Oh, where can our listeners find you, follow you, support you, enjoy you? Where are all the places
Maurene: You can enjoy me on Instagram probably the most @MaureneGoo, same with Twitter. I mean Twitter is mostly just, I post news also @MaureneGoo and recently delved into Tiktok. I'm also on Tiktok @MaureneGoo. And there's my website MaureneGoo.com.
Doree: Well, Maurene, this has been a delight.
Kate: You're the best.
Doree: You're the best. I hope everyone listening buys your book because it is truely so delightful.
Kate: You're going to love it.
Maurene: Oh, thank you.
Doree: Thank you for writing it. We love you. Oh my gosh.
Maurene: I love you guys. Obviously. I listen to three times a week.
Doree: All right.
Maurene: Bye
Doree: Bye.
Kate: I just wanted to say one thing that Maureen represents to me is a person that, a friendship that I have made and cultivated as an adult. I think I can even remember the first time Maureen and I went out, got lunch. I'm not even sure we must have become friends online. I'm not even sure how, if I remember this, but I think it's so interesting to me to look back and see how I make friends now as a grownup as opposed to some of these friends I've had for 30 or 30 years that I first befriended when I was 12 and wearing Doc Martins. I guess I'm still wearing Doc Martins, but you know what I mean.
Doree: And I met Maurene through you, so thank you for bringing Maurene into my life.
Kate: Look, it's a pleasure and an honor. That's all I'm going to say. Well, Doree, As mentioned while I was on the mule in the Grand Canyon, you were texting and a lot of the texts that were coming through were about sneakers because you have been on a hunt for sneakers. And your intention last week was to maybe get some shoes that fit. Did you succeed?
Doree: I did. I did succeed. I now have some sneakers. I have a pair of clogs. Very comfortable.
Kate: Oh, they're so cute. I'm obsessed with them. And I didn't want to say this right away, but I think I'm going to copy you and get them.
Doree: Yeah, honestly, you should because I think I'm going to mention them in my newsletter and then they'll be sold out.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: Just kidding.
Kate: I'm going to, no, seriously. I'm going to order them now because they're so chic. I love the look of them.
Doree: Also, it's the thing where you see something and then you start seeing it everywhere. But I have since started seeing very similar clogs on all these cool websites, and I'm like, okay, all right. Anyway, they're, they're platform. They're black leather platform clogs that are very reminiscent of the Birkenstock Boston shoe kind of shape wise. But real listeners of this pod know that I cannot wear Birkenstocks because of my weird toes
Kate: Dorees toes are all the same length.
Doree: And so I've tried the Boston Clogs and they do not work for me. These do, they are made by Fit Flop, which is a brand that in my head, made ugly thongs sandals, but seems to have had a new designer in the last couple of years because they have a few very cute shoes. And I should also say, I was originally turned on to flip flop fit flops. I believe it was the G Thanks Facebook group. Someone was asking for slipper recommendations and someone posted a link to a pair of fit flops, and I bought them in a Felt, and I'm actually wearing them right now. They are. It's the same style. But now I have the sort of fancier wear out of the house version,
Kate: And they're comfy. You say?
Doree: They're so comfortable. Oh, Kate, they're so comfortable. I went for a walk in them yesterday. I can wear them barefoot. I cannot say enough good things about these shoes.
Kate: Well I just, full disclosure, I'm on the website now looking them up, and our sponsor, Rakuten popped right up for me.
Doree: Oh, hello.
Kate: Hello. We get a little percentage back with Old Rakuten.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: Always a good deal.
Doree: Kate, I see that they have your size.
Kate: Yes. Don't wor. Yes, I'm getting them. Trust me, I am literally multitasking as only an ADDer can, entering in my delivery details as we speak. Doree.
Doree: No, the Tan are kind of cute too.
Kate: They are cute. But I'm going for black to start.
Doree: Yeah, you got to start with that.
Kate: Starting with a classic black. Okay, well what's on the A docket for this week?
Doree: Well, Kate, as discussed, I am going to the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps.
Kate: Ugh.
Doree: New York. New York with my child. And we're only going to actually be in New York for two and a half days. It's a very short trip. But I'm excited, but I also want to just be in the moment with him and meet him where he is. And so I'm trying not to try to shove 50,000 things into one day.
Kate: Yes.
Doree: Because he's, he's not even four. And it, that's just not going to happen. And he's going to be into stuff that I don't even, he's going to be excited to see the traffic lights, you know what I mean?
Kate: He's, there's so many trash trucks in New York.
Doree: Yes. There's so many trash. And we're going to be there on trash day of where we're staying, which we'll be very exciting. He already asked when Trash Day is. So also he's going to be blown away that the trash just goes in bags on the sidewalk.
Kate: Yeah. There's going to be so much for him.
Doree: There's going to be so much. So I'm just, my intention this week is to just kind of, when you take a child to Disney World for the first time, and you're really seeing it through their eyes, New York is, people feel about Disney World the way I feel about New York. I think
Kate: People feel about Disney World the way you feel about New York.
Doree: I love New York.
Kate: Yes.
Doree: But, and I'm really excited to see it through my child's eyes. And I think there's people who think about Disney in the same way.
Kate: Got it. I see. yes.
Doree: Yes. Do you see what I'm saying?
Kate: I do. I do. And I think you're right.
Doree: Not that New York is a theme park, of course, but I'm just excited to experience it with him. The last time he was there, he was eight months old. So it was a very different experience.
Kate: Oh this is great. Yeah, this is great.
Doree: So that is my intention for this week. Kate, you had a similar intention last week. I will say
Kate: I did. I just wanted to be in the present on this family trip that we were on. And I think I was really able to do that. And part of it was easy because the landscape is so incredible. And also my phone didn't work half the time. I had terrible service, so I was just, all I could do was look at the world around me, but it was just like really awe-inspiring. So I think I'll check that one off. And this week, Doree, I have kind of started hyper fixating on apps that can help me stay on top of things and stay organized. I think almost anybody can relate to this urge, but I think especially if you are a fellow, Neuro-d as I like to call myself, you're always trying to figure out how to make your brain, how to make things work for you. This has been a lifelong fucking, oh, pardon my language. See, that listener got in my head. This has been a lifelong struggle for me. And I'm only just now starting to kind of understand it through a new lens. And I think I mentioned briefly that I had been trying out apps like Asana and SunSuna, and neither of those really stuck. And so now I'm over on the Todoist app, seeing if that visually and structurally works for me.
Doree: Kate, this is probably a longer discussion for another pod, but I have recently started using a new system for my to-do list.
Kate: How can you even tease me with this info?
Doree: And it is called the Notes app
Kate: On the iPhone.
Doree: On the iPhone. And it syncs to my computer and it syncs to my iPad. So wherever I am,
Kate: Ohh the notes app, I like the Notes app.
Doree: I just can use the old Notes app. I just keep a running, it's a running to-do list. I just change the date on the top. It's a bulleted list. When I check things off, they go to the bottom and then I delete them and it just keeps regenerating. And you know what, this has been the most effective thing for me.
Kate: Thats so great. I'm so happy for, I love, I like the Notes app.
Doree: Ive Tried many different apps. Yeah, I've tried paper planners. I've tried so many things and I was like, you know what? This fucking Notes app. It's just what I need.
Kate: It's great. I struggle. The only thing that I struggle with the Notes app is color. I've realized that I need color to stay organized, which is one of the reasons Google Calendar works so well for me. And a lot of Google tasks doesn't have color. And I notes the notes app. So that's for my brain's I, but I think this is a fantastic, sometimes the solution is the easiest, not the easiest one, but that's built in on all your products. It's already there. It's a great tool. Congratulations,
Doree: Kate. I just realized there is a way to change the font color,
Kate: But can you do different highlights for lists?
Doree: I don't think you can do different highlights.
Kate: I will say that's one thing I'm liking about Todoist is that everything is a different color and it really helps me.
Doree: That's cool. Yeah.
Kate: See it. I don't know why my brain needs that. Do you? I don't know the science of that.
Doree: No, I don't know.
Kate: It's very strange. But I do.
Doree: I don't know. But brains need what they need.
Kate: Brains are wild. Okay, look, Doree, let's end it here.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: Friends, Forever35 is hosted and produced by Doree Shafrir and Kate Spencer, and it's produced in editing by Sam Junio. Sami Reid is our project manager and our network partners Acast. And we will talk to you all later.
Doree: Bye.