Mini-Ep 411: Ranting and Raving
Elise loses a pair of shoes (but gains a pair of used sandals?), while Doree shares some listener insight into the therapist-turned-writer cycle we’re experiencing. The listener mailbag includes an alternative to yoga toes, a call out for improving communication, and surprising encounters with not free mugging, but free babying!
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Transcript
Doree: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise: And I'm Elise Hugh. And we are just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please do remember, we are podcast hosts. We are not medical or mental health experts, so please do seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed,
Elise: We interview medical and mental health experts. Sometimes
Doree: That's true, we do because we know experts. That's not a qualification though. So I just want to remind everyone that we are running a little sale on our Patreon at patreon.com/Forever35. We are offering annual memberships for a limited time, and you can get 15% off and annual membership. So instead of paying $5 a month for 12 months, which is $60, you get 15% off, which is $51. And at the $10 level, which is the level that you also get ad free episodes, that is $102 instead of $120. So this is kind of like a relaunch promotion, celebration, celebration that we're running. It won't last forever, so get in on it now. Anyway, Elise, how are you doing?
Elise: I'm doing all right. I'm doing all right. I have been pretty consistent with getting outside because the weather's been great. I've been pretty consistent with getting outside and walking or jogging very slowly every day.
Doree: But
Elise: There was a real tragedy recently regarding my running shoes in which one night I went for a long walk and I left my Nike running shoes out on the front porch before I came back in the house because we are a shoes off household. And I'm like, I'm going to take off my shoes outside and then I'm going to walk inside pat around in my socks. And the next morning I went outside to send the daughters off to school, and instead of my running shoes out there, there was a really ratty gross pair of knockoff Birkenstock sandals that looked about like 35 years old. It was so gross. And so I think what happened was someone traded their shoes for my shoes. Yeah, right off my porch. My running shoes are gone, but now instead I have these really gross, probably second or third hand sandals. It's so gross. And I have left them on my porch for the last week or so because I'm like, I can't bring myself to throw them away. I don't know why. I don't why I'm leaving them there as a reminder of my shoe theft. It certainly does feel like a violation, but also somebody needed my running shoes way more than me,
Doree: Apparently.
Elise: Yeah.
Doree: Wow. This is reminiscent of the Sex in the city episode with the thing of the baby shower
Elise: When the shoes gets stolen. What happened with a gift? Oh,
Doree: Shoes. No, no. I think carrie's shoes. Someone takes Carrie's shoes. It's a shoes off house. Someone takes her shoes. It's like a whole thing. Anyway, that is insane. I think it's actually more insane that they left the Birkenstocks.
Elise: Yeah, just take the shoes. I have had shoes taken off my porch before because I had once left somebody's ski boots, like kids, not ski boots, just like snow boots. I left snow boots that I was borrowing from a friend out on the porch overnight because she was going to pick them up the next morning. And I thought, oh, no problem. I'll just leave them out so I don't forget to leave them out in the morning. And the next morning she comes to pick them up and she's like, I don't see the boots. And I was like, oh, no, I left them out there. And so somebody took size five kids snow boots at some point too. Oh my god. I know. But this time it was grosser because I got their old nappy sandals. It's so gross.
Doree: Oh my God.
Elise: And so me and the girls, we've just been like, who do we think it was? Was it a woman or a man? And mainly Ava's like, stop leaving your shoes out on the porch.
Doree: Wow. Wow.
Elise: Any petty theft going on in your world door?
Doree: No, but it's funny you say this because I feel like our neighborhood, many neighborhoods in Los Angeles has had its fair share of porch pirates, people stealing packages off of porches. We have a gate to our house. So that thankfully hasn't really been an issue, although there was a brief moment when someone was clearly taking stuff out of our mailbox and that was kind of shitty. But anyway,
Elise: Why,
Doree: Dude? I dunno. Okay. Sometimes I sell stuff in various Facebook groups and there's other people who just, if they sell stuff, they have a bin on their porch and they just leave it out because I guess it's not an issue in their neighborhood or they're up in the hills and there's no danger of that. But I always have to coordinate the pickups because I'm like, I can't leave stuff out for too long. You need to give me an hour long window where I can leave something in a semi inconspicuous location because I can Can't just if you
Elise: Actually want your product. Right?
Doree: Exactly. Exactly. I'm constantly seeing people posting like, Hey, there's been this stuff out on my porch for a month. Please come pick up your stuff. And half the time the people legitimately are like, oh my God, I forgot, which I'm sure they did. I don't think it's malicious, but I think that that is just what happens. But I have to be like, Hey, when are you coming to pick up your stuff? Which is also annoying, but it is what it's because I'm like, I can't want to be responsible for. So anything else going on in your world?
Elise: No, I think, I mean, I am excited to hear how folks are reacting to the various topics that have come up in our previous mini apps and just in our previous episodes, because I don't listen to the voicemails in advance, and so it's always a fun surprise and perspective shift sometimes for me. What is in the grab bag today tore?
Doree: Well, Elise, we have been talking about feeling burned out on journalism and media and maybe going back to school and becoming a therapist or whatever. And then we heard from a therapist who was like, that's funny because all the therapists I talk to are burned out and want to become writers. And we heard from someone else who has a slightly different perspective, so Oh, I would like to share her voicemail.
Voicemail: Hi, Doree and Elise. My name's Courtney. I'm from Denver. I'm calling in because I was to myself listening to the episode where you read the text message from the therapist who mentioned all of her friends trying to leave the field and being burnt out, and I was chuckling last week when you were talking about that because I'm currently working on my master's in counseling after a career at tech startups, but I got pretty burnt out from one of the things I realized through my master's program when I started it, I was like, oh, yes, this is it. I'll finally feel fulfilled doing something that feels more aligned to who I am and my values, and I got not that far into my program before I realized that. I think really we are all burnt out in whatever career or job we're doing at the moment, but I think we're all just burnt out on the hustle of capitalism capital and feeling like we have to work for the rest of our lives to be able to afford health insurance and to pay our bills.
It is such a huge luxury and privilege to take time off of work, and most people won't afford to do it. And I just wonder if we're not designed as humans to work the same job forever, and wouldn't we all feel probably more fulfilled if we had more control over the type of labor and projects and work that we chose to bring into our lives if we had easier access to basic necessities like health insurance and education for our children to feel like such a hustle to be able to figure it all out and to pay for these things. Anyway, that's my existential rant for 8:18 AM on a Thursday morning, but love the pod. So excited that EL is staying on truly one of the first podcasts that I'm so excited to hit play on. I see it in my feet every morning. I'll listen more to the pods later. Thanks so much. Bye.
Elise: Amen sister. Amen. Sister. It does feel like we had this period of pandemic imposed rest from the treadmill of capitalism and that there was this opportunity for us to rest, relax, recharge, and possibly rethink these larger structures and systems that make us all cogs in the wheel and create a lot of wealth inequality, like vast despair disparities in how people live. And instead, 15 months later, whenever everybody was vaccinated, it was sort of like, well, nope, we're just going to crank back up these hamster wheels, get back out there, schedule those meetings, just do 'em on Zoom.
And I thought that was a real missed opportunity for humanity because when has the entire globe really shut down? Not that we had the space to really think, I mean, we were all just trying to survive, and I get that. But yeah, I think about these things a lot too, and that our social structures don't have to be the way they are. And there's so many policy changes that could happen that could guarantee parental leave, for example, to provide more safety and security in retirement so people can actually retire a better disability. So there are things that we can do at the ballot box. There are policies that we can push for that provide more of a safety net so things don't feel so precarious. I don't think we should just shrug our shoulders because there are better ways to live, especially in so many other places in the world where so much of the social safety net is far more guaranteed. So love your rant. Thanks for ranting and yeah, let's research and read up on ways to imagine and the current policy proposals that are already imagined for a Better America, for a better society, for a better world.
Doree: Amen. Amen. Elise, on that note, let's take a little break. Speaking of rest, speaking of rest, we're going to take a break and before we take a break, let me just remind you, please call us with your rants or text us with your rants at 1 5 9 0 3 9 0. Email us your rants at Forever five podcast at gmail com on our website Forever35 podcast do com. We have links to everything we mention on the show. Follow us on Instagram at Forever35 Podcast. Sign up for our newsletter at forever five podcast com slash newsletter. We have our favorite products at shop my us slash forever as well. Alright, now we're going to take a short break.
Elise: We'll be right back.
Doree: We'll be right back. All right, we are back. And Melanie in New Hampshire had a suggestion as an alternative to yoga toes hot stone massage. I received one as a gift and they put slim warm stones, but between each of my toes, it was amazing. I was snooping afterwards to see if I could get the stones to use at home. Turns out you can get them on Amazon. I got this one because it comes with a warmer, you plug in and it has enough stones to do both feet at the same time. And then they shared a link which we will also link to perfect for people with cold feet, especially since not everyone has a profession and mine is a total snooze fest. Anyway, can we start a trend of signing off with our hobbies instead? Mine is miniature pottery. Must be small enough to fit in my tiny home kiln, something like four by two inches. Oh my gosh, Melanie, cute. Please send us pictures.
Elise: Yes, send us pictures or put it in the Patreon chat. I want to see this.
Doree: This is really cool. Thank you for this. I am very intrigued by yoga toe, hot stone massage, whatever that means. It is a hot stones massage warmer kit.
Elise: How luxurious. I want to indulge in that
Doree: Is super cool. Oh, okay. You can put it, it's not just for your toes, it's for any part of your body you can put on your back. Enjoy spa at your home. That's what it says. Wow. I could get into this. I'm blown away. Yes, I did not know that this was a thing. Alright, moving on, Elise, this is for you. Congrats to both of you on your continued work together. I know there have been a lot of questions around Elise's packing and wardrobe, but I don't think I've heard this one. Elise, would you be willing to share one of your past one bag packing lists? I'd love to see this for a trip of five days or longer. What items do you pack and how do you approach it? It is such a skill. Thanks as always.
Elise: Wow. I'm getting too much credit. She assumes I even have lists this chaos. Muppet doesn't list anything. Oh my gosh. But I will try though. I will try and engineer a list of just everything that's in something Absolutely up.
Doree: You don't have the Joan Didian packing list.
Elise: No. Yes. I love that list too.
Doree: It's so good.
Elise: I want to get it framed. It's so great. It's so good. There's also one where of what Woody Guthrie did in the mornings. It was something like wash teeth, drink whiskey. That's cool. But yeah, I'll make you a packing list. Sure.
Doree: Here's a quick question, and maybe you can't answer this yet, but is there something that you always pack that might be unexpected that people wouldn't expect from a one bagger?
Elise: Oh, well, I carry, no, nothing big. I don't think I have any surprises that are like, oh, I travel with this giant right pillow that's going to take up a bunch of space or something that would be unexpected. But I do always carry this Japanese lucky charm with me when I travel, not because I'm especially superstitious, but there's these little charms that are very popular in Japan, and I was gifted lots of them, or I bought them at various shrines over the years when I was covering Japan. And so I always travel with one to sort of guard me while I'm on the road, and so I do always
Doree: Travel with that. Oh, cool. That's super cool. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, good question. Okay, Elise, do you want to read this next one?
Elise: Sure. It is an email that says, hi, Doree and Elise. Over the past few years, I have struggled with expressing myself both orally and in writing. I often find it difficult to organize my thoughts and sometimes struggled to recall words or ideas, especially when feeling self-conscious or anxious. I don't believe this is due to any neurological issue as loved ones haven't noticed anything concerning. I suspect it's linked to a decrease in intellectual stimulation since transitioning from teaching to working from home. The pandemic a move to a new area and the isolating experience of IVF have all contributed to this. Before these changes, I was engaged in face-to-face interactions through work and graduate school, which provided more social engagement and mental stimulation. Interestingly, I excel at speaking to large virtual audiences in my current role due to thorough preparation and expertise in the field. However, I've realized the need to regain confidence in my overall speaking and writing abilities. After being inspired by the speeches from the DNC and listening to both of you and your guests, I'd greatly appreciate any advice or resources on how to enhance my communication and writing skills and expand my vocabulary beyond the limited benefits of daily Word of the Day posts. Any advice or resources you and the listeners could recommend would be greatly appreciated.
Doree: Okay.
Elise: I would first love to see what our listeners have to say. So this is a great question to throw out to the listeners, but Doree, what is your response to the email?
Doree: So full disclosure, I have not done this, but I know people who have done this and they have said it helped them substantially with exactly what you were talking about. And that is Toast Masters.
Elise: Oh yeah, the group. Yeah, the speaking group. Right?
Doree: Yes.
Elise: Can't you just go and practice essentially?
Doree: Yes. I think their whole thing is teaching you this is their mission statement. It builds confidence and teaches public speaking skills through a worldwide network of clubs that meet online and in person, in a supportive community or corporate environment. Members prepare and deliver speeches, respond to impromptu questions, and give and receive constructive feedback. It's through this regular practice that members are empowered to meet personal and professional communication goals.
Elise: People swear by it. My aunt Susan did it and she loved it because she has stage fright and she really needed to improve or work on that because she's also a business leader. And so she is a big advocate of Toastmasters. I mean, for vocabulary, I think reading is always helpful, just reading and listening to other podcasts and shows, and that has always helped me as somebody who grew up in a dual language household. I learned to speak technically. I think I was speaking Mandarin before I was speaking English. My parents spoke Mandarin with me, knowing that I wouldn't get many opportunities to speak it, and so much of my verbal, my vocabulary has come from external sources, not necessarily inside the home just from reading and watching and listening and stuff, but one book on speaking that I have read within the last couple of years that I thought was like, it's helpful and actionable in terms of specific exercises or things that you can do, but also just in framing how important it is to bring who you are and be confident, which I think just the framework of being self-possessed when we speak and believing that we have something to say is really important.
The book is by a former Forever35 guest, Samara Bay. She wrote a book called Permission to Speak, which I think came out last spring and I would recommend it. I feel like it's a great sort of clarion call, especially to women who have often been socialized to maybe, or have often had to get talked over, had the experience of being spoken over just to remember the power of our own voices. So I have a book recommendation there.
Doree: Great suggestion,
Elise: But we would love to hear from y'all.
Doree: Yeah. Like Lisa said, we'd love to hear from you all. Okay. Let's take another little break. We'll be right back with a couple of Trader Joe's and Costco thoughts and a couple more voicemails. We'll be right back. All right. We are back. Elise, you and I were talking recently about the Trader Joe's Chicken Shawarma Bowl, which you and I are both fans of.
Elise: I've become a fan
Doree: And a listener. A listener wrote in to recommend the Green Chili Chicken Bowl at Trader Joe's. They say, this is my quick and easy lunch. It has a little spice and great flavor. I also like to add an avocado to mine to add some nutrition and keep me full. Also, had to try out the corn pasta recipe this week and added some of the Trader Joe's Chili Onion Crunch Oil on top, which added a little kick. Would recommend. I've loved the pod since day one, so glad to have Elise as a new pair of social friend. Keep up the fun chats,
Elise: Love all those tips. I didn't think to add chili crunch to the corn pasta, but now I'm inspired to do so.
Doree: The recipe says to add red pepper flakes to it, which I think is a nice addition. But I like the Chili Crunch idea too. I might try that. I have some trader. I have some Trader Joe's de influencing to do.
Elise: Well, it will be helpful. This will be helpful information, even though, how dare you, Tory? How dare you?
Doree: As much as it pains me, as much as it pains me to say this, I recently tried the Trader Joe's meatless. Bulgogi bulgogi should just not be meatless. The whole point of bulgogi is that it's delicious meat, that it's
Elise: Beef, right?
Doree: And I tried the meatless bulgogi, I cooked it per their instructions. And I want to say it started admitting a plasticy chemically scent.
Elise: So you're a note on that dog, dog.
Doree: It didn't cook. It sort of stayed frozen in a brick. Ew. And then I was like, I guess I'll microwave it now. So then I microwaved it and it sort of decoupled itself from itself. And then I tried it and I was like, oh, the consistency is horrible. The taste is terrible. It tastes like plastic. And now my kitchen smells, I just burned like a tire or something. It just sounds like too
Elise: Many chemicals.
Doree: So that is my influencing. But I do have a Costco wreck that I want to share. Alright, so they carry this brand of Indian food called Suki. Oh yeah. I think that's how you pronounce it. S-U-K-H-I. And it's like they've chicken teka masala chicken, coconut curry with mango butter chicken. It's not super cheap. I think the containers are about $15 for two servings, which each serve, I would say two to three people, depending on how hungry you are. So actually, it's definitely a better deal than getting takeout. It's not super cheap though, but the quality seems really good. Every time I've gotten it, the meat has been tender and the flavor's good and it's really good. So I feel like I can recommend any of their dishes. Have you gotten their stuff?
Elise: Yeah. Well, they don't sell all of their stuff in bulk at the regular grocery stores, but if you go to your Albertsons or Kroger or wherever you shop around the country, you can get individual Suki meals or
Doree: Ika
Elise: Masala burritos and things. So I have gotten smaller quantities of Suki also. Also, it's so funny you bring this up because when I was living in South Korea and we would brave the masses to go to Seoul, Costco, which is a full contact sport, because
Doree: Oh my God,
Elise: Just not come at you, rear end you from behind with the carts because there were just so many people. And so my ankles were constantly getting nicked at this full contact Costco experience. But every time we went, I was obsessed with finding the Suki non witch because they were making these little buns. They were like Tika masala chicken tika masala inside a bun of
Doree: Non Yu.
Elise: Yeah. And it was called Non Witch. And they would come in a frozen pack of six. And I got it at Costco in the early few months that I was in Seoul. And then for whatever reason, the non witch disappeared off the shelves, kind of like products do at Trader Joe's. And so it was my great quest for years to try and find the non witch. I've blogged about it, I've tumbled about it. I was so obsessed with this non witch and I don't think it ever came back. I think it's sort of like my Amy's tofu scramble burrito that they just discontinued it. And so I get so emotionally invested in some of these frozen food products and then they go away. So it makes me feel sort of burned on love. Why even have a relationship with these frozen food products when they're just going to get discontinued? Wow, you really brought back some memories for me there.
Doree: I see that. Wow. Okay. Alright. We are going to end with a couple of voicemails on completely different topics.
Voicemail: Hello. First time caller, longtime listener. Just real quick, walking with my baby in the neighborhood and we're always talking about free lugging in the car and free bowling. Okay. So there's a dad in my neighborhood that, that's just walking around with his little six old stroller, something I long free baby couldn't do. Bye bye.
Elise: That is so funny. That is so funny because when my babies are tiny, tiny newborns, I would free baby because they were so small. It was like, oh, whatever. It's like a football. I'd go around, but I got so much judgment from Korean ladies, like the older aju MAs they're called, they're like middle aged aunties. Oh, that's so funny. And they would just take my baby out of my arms because they could. I was free babying around the city. Wow. I prefer to be hands-free. So most of the time they were strapped to me in a baby Bjorn or something. But when they're tiny, tiny, I would free baby sometimes and they would always be telling me like, oh, the baby's too cold. The baby's too cold. From that impoverished period. And Seoul especially, and it is very cold in Korea where babies would have to be wrapped up in a cocoon or something of soft muslin material and many, many layers of it. So it was so funny that you're mentioning free babying because Yes, occasionally I free baby. It's so funny. I don't free bowl and I don't free mug, but occasionally I free baby and I have. That's really funny. I caught a lot of flack for it.
Doree: Just quickly before we get to the next voicemail, there is a brief moment in the English teacher, the show that I started watching that I mentioned I think on our last episode. And he Free mugs.
Elise: Yes, I saw that. I saw that
Doree: In a hurry. He's leaving his house and he just puts his coffee and it's definitely shown as a sign of he's kind of chaotic.
Elise: I thought of you and Kate. You know what
Doree: I mean?
Elise: I really, I thought of Kate more than you, but yeah,
Doree: Yeah, yeah. Alright, one last voicemail that really made me laugh.
Voicemail: I just paused the po. I am obsessed with the fact that you can read a water country hundred percent the jingle in the summer. I think it's when the sun is blazing and the weather gets hot. Water country's a very cool spot. There's no better place to feel or be. Water country. Water country have some fun. I can't really say it because I'm tone deaf, but I had a whole drama about a year that my grandma took all my cousins to water country and I was being one year too young. And then I had so many fun times at Water Country in New England in New Hampshire. I love that you took Henry. I'm just obsessed with that and that you shared another pause. So thank you from a fellow former New England Water Country Rocks, and I hope you had a great time. I haven't finished the episode yet. I literally paused it as soon as you said it. So yeah, I hope it was everything that Henry ever agreed does
Elise: So great. She knew the words you do too though, right?
Doree: Right. I was just googling this. I was just googling this and apparently the original jingle was composed in 1984 or 1985. There seems to be some disagreement about that, but last year they released a new jingle. Haven't heard it, but I don't see how it could possibly compare to the original.
Elise: Have you heard the original? Why Mess with something that ain't broke?
Doree: Elise, I really want to share the water Country jingle with you. Okay. I think I'm going to do this. Here we go.
Elise: Cool Spot. I mean,
Doree: Come on. It's catchy.
Elise: It's a bop. It's a bop. I can see if they were playing that in every commercial break, how it would be stuck.
Doree: Every commercial break. Every commercial
Elise: Break. So funny. I'm curious what everybody's earworms are from their youth. I have the CCS pizza All you can eat for only 2 99, and sometimes it was like 3 99 as it got more and more expensive. My Texas
Doree: Girlies are going to
Elise: Know this one.
Doree: Yeah, I feel like there's going to be a bunch of people who are like, what?
Elise: Call in with your jingle memories. And in fact, if you can sing in, sing, sing, sing those in.
Doree: Yeah. Maybe next time we'll play the Mount Chua jingle. All right. Thanks everyone.
Elise: Until
Doree: Next time.
* Transcripts are AI generated.