Mini-Ep 409: Eyeshadow For Your Hair
Elise fills in Doree about getting ghosted by her tennis coach before they hear from listeners about the benefit of a very attractive physical therapist, how to look confident and cute after a biopsy at the hairline, and whether California has no real water parks.
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Transcript
Doree: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise: And I'm Elise Hugh. And we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Doree: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But our ability does not extend to medical or mental health advice. So we always urge you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. So just want to put that disclaimer out there. We sure do. Elise, how's it going?
Elise: I'm really excited because the US Open is underway. We're in the US open season of the year
Doree: We are in, its US open season
Elise: And I know it's such a New York thing to be able to go and I've never, and I hear it's like hella expensive to get tickets, but I still have it on my bucket list to try and go during the US Open because of the time difference between the west coast and the east coast. I end up spending a lot of my afternoons and late nights watching the US Open and I love it. I end up, it is at the expense of other things like working or writing things I should be doing, but I just love the US Open. I'm really excited about it. What about you? What's on your
Doree: Mind? I went to the US Open a couple years ago.
Elise: How cool.
Doree: It was really fun. It is like a bucket list thing. If you are a tennis fan and you have the ability to go, I would highly suggest going. You can get grounds tickets. I think most big tournaments have these grounds tickets where you can usually watch, you can watch practice, you can watch warmups, you can watch some of the not as big matches, especially if you go in the earlier rounds. There's these other courts that aren't televised that you can just wander onto and watch the matches. And then you can watch the Center, basically. Center court, which at us Open I think is Arthur r Arthur Ashe. Yeah. They put it up on a big screen and you can sit on the lawn and just watch it. And those are cheaper tickets than just getting a seat. But yeah, I love us Open season. I love watching tennis. So there was actually the other day, there was a longest US Open match ever.
Elise: Yeah, it was like five and a half hours or
Doree: Something. It was five and a half hours. It was five sets.
Elise: I would just be like a puddle on the floor.
Doree: I would be so dead.
Elise: I cannot imagine
Doree: Mean. Well women, it's best of three and men, it's best of five. So
Elise: Men will always have to go longer.
Doree: Men will always have to go longer, but five and a half hours is like,
Elise: That's wrong.
Doree: Feels wrong. And what's so crazy is the guy who won in the fifth set, he was down four games to zero, which is, you'll have to watch this match set is six games, a set of six games. So when you're down four zero, most times you're going to lose that set. And in the fifth game he was down 40, 15. So I mean, talk about a comeback that is some mental, mental and physical stamina that I am very impressed by. So it is
Elise: Inspiring. That's what I love about sports. Yeah, that's what I love about sports though, the surprises. It's so totally human to have this major comeback.
Doree: Yes. I didn't watch the match in real time, but I really want to watch some highlights or something that's just crazy.
Elise: And we haven't talked about this on the podcast, but you and I, you are aware that I have been getting ghosted by my tennis coach.
Doree: Oh yes, yes I
Elise: Have. Yes. So I have been taking private lessons from the same coach for two years. When I decided I wanted to play tennis again or wanted to start tennis in my adult life, I found this great coach that was very well recommended and a little inconsistent. And he makes me get four lessons at a time. So packages and in advance. So I'm paying, I'm essentially advancing him around $400. I think it's about a hundred dollars a lesson. So I'm advancing him $400 and then having to play out that package, which if we met every week would just be a monthly fee. However, he's so inconsistent that sometimes we'll go like three weeks, five weeks in between lessons because it'll be tough to get on a court. We play on public courts or he just can't get from one part of town to another to meet me on time and I have a pretty tight schedule or he's injured. And so several weeks ago I advanced him the money and I have yet to take, I took one lesson and then three lessons are outstanding. And it was at this point where he said that he broke two of his elbows and then just
Doree: Disappeared.
Elise: And for three weeks or longer, I haven't been able to get ahold of him to be like, what's happening? Are we going to play again? Am I still your student?
And so at one point I was just like, can you just send the money back because assuming you're injured, you can't play, you're not going to be able to teach me. So I would like to not have given him an interest free loan for an indefinite amount of time of $300. So I've been waiting and just still hadn't heard from him. But plot twist, after getting ghosted for three weeks, he texted this morning, what? Oh my God. What? I know. It was shocking. I thought for sure. I was like, am I going to have to track him down? I have no idea what to do. And he said, I got cleared to play again. We can start this weekend if you're available. And what, there is a wall of texts from me before this response. My God, there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 texts that went unreturned and then him. Are you kidding? Just casually dropping in going, Hey, I got cleared to play again. We can start this weekend if you're available. What?
Doree: Oh my God. Can you imagine how annoying it would be to date this guy?
Elise: Oh my God. I mean if he wasn't holding 300 of my dollars, I would've been out. Right?
Doree: Yeah, totally.
Elise: I don't even like to double text. So the fact that I sent eight without a reply and was still waiting on him. No, me gu.
Doree: Yeah. At least respond. I dunno. That is crazy. I'm sorry. Thank you. Well, I'm glad he surfaced.
Elise: I'm surprised, frankly. I thought that this was like donezo.
Doree: You thought it was done. That's so bad. Yeah.
Elise: We'll see if this lesson actually ever happens.
Doree: Stay tuned. You manifested him responding. Stay tuned. Stay tuned everyone. Well that actually is a good segue into a text that we got about tennis elbow.
Elise: Perfect. We're staying on
Doree: Theme, staying on theme. Someone wrote, Doree Tennis elbow wreck, physical therapy and dry needling. I completely recovered in three months. Also hot tip. Get a strong young man PT I too like you am married with kids. But let me tell you, I think it helped my recovery to spend an hour, two nights a week getting an arm massage from a hot man asking me how my day was without any kids interrupting or expectation of sex.
Elise: Heyo. This is why I have so many gay friends. I just like hanging out with good looking dudes.
Doree: I mean, I get it. So when I was getting what I thought was pt but actually turned out to be ot, it's OT when it has to do with your hand. Anyway, I went to this place and I never had the same person twice. There was one hot one though.
Elise: Good.
Doree: Yeah. So
Elise: How do you get on his rotation? That's the thing. You got to figure out how they do the assignments.
Doree: It honestly seemed random. So it was unfortunate. I had a recurring appointment, I went at the same time every week, but even if my appointment was with a certain person, it was actually just random who they stuck me with. So I guess I need to find a different place.
Elise: That's a really great tip. Thank you for the hot
Doree: Tip listener.
Elise: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Doree: I mean, look, everyone was great. I enjoyed all of them. I do think it's funny to have this added benefit of really wanting to go to your PT appointment because your PT is hot. Not to objectify anyone, but sometimes you need that. I get it. I get it. Alright, we're going to take a break, but before we do that, please do call or text us with tennis elbow tips or anything else at 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0 and you can email us at Forever35 podcast@gmail.com. Visit our website Forever35 podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show, follow us on Instagram at Forever35 podcast. You can sign up for the newsletter at Forever35 podcast. Do com slash newsletter and shop our favorite products at shop my us slash Forever35. Be right back.
Elise: We'll be right back.
Doree: Alright, we are back. We have a text that is
The first part is for you. I will read this for you, Elise first. The others have said it's great to have Elise on the show and it has been really fun to hear from the two of you together. I have a few questions that would be fun to hear your thoughts on some or all one, Elise, your travel packing tips are very helpful. I tried to edit more on a recent family trip to Vancouver, some success, but still have lots of stuff. Your recent convos have made me wonder, are you somewhat of a minimalist in your home? Do you approach clutter in a similar way to packing? Great question listener.
Elise: My attitude is minimalist. My mother always been very minimalist and we moved every few years growing up. Not because I'm an army brat or anything, but because, well, yeah, because my mom was changing jobs or we were changing homes. And then my mother is a retired diplomat foreign service officer. And so she also was traveling all the time and moving around a lot. And so her whole lesson was keep your stuff to a minimum because then you won't have to move it because moving around anytime you're moving, you're reminded of just how much stuff you have.
Now that I have been based in Los Angeles and in the same home for a few years, I'm just acquiring more and more things, a lot more stuff than when we lived in a high rise apartment in Seoul. And so my attitude is still minimalist, but I am finding the longer I stay in one place, the more my things, my belongings or household items are piling up. Do I really need some of the appliances that we have? I don't need a popcorn maker now. I have a popcorn making machine where it's like I could do that on the stove or do it in the microwave. Do I need an appliance for that
Doree: Specifically?
Elise: But yeah, I generally like to keep the house pretty clean and without clutter it's just hard to do. The longer I stay in one place,
Doree: It is really hard to do. Okay, next question, skin question that I'm working with dermatologists on, but curious if either of you or listeners have advice for, I have a smallish patch on my hairline right in the front of my head that needs to be biopsied. The concern isn't melanoma just for context, a different issue, but they're going to take the hair follicles. So I'm worried about the resulting appearance. One option later is to stitch the area if it didn't heal well to kind of pull the area together. In the meantime. Any advice to either just feel accepting or confident about this or cute headband wrecks?
Elise: I'm trying to understand what would the resulting appearance be? There's going to be a patch without
Doree: Hair. Yeah, I think there's going to be a patch without hair.
Elise: So I have postpartum hair loss on one side of my head that never really recovered my hair, never really grew up, grew back in some patches or some parts on the side of my head. And anytime I get my hair and makeup done for television or something like that, there's this kind of powder that they'll put in the hair to make it appear as if there's hair there. I don't know what it is. I think it's called topic, T-O-P-P-I-K. It's available on Amazon. They are topic hair building fibers, fill in fine or thinning instantly thicker, fuller looking hair, nine shades for men and women.
Doree: So I used this color. Wow. Root coverup stuff
Elise: For
Doree: A little while and it's kind of like eyeshadow for your hair.
Elise: Yeah. Yeah. I want to say it's similar to this topic stuff that
Doree: I'm talking
Elise: About.
Doree: Yeah. So yeah, there is stuff like that that you could try.
Elise: The other thing is about any appearance changes. I think it's really important to remember that our bodies are dynamic. They're constantly changing. There isn't a magic fixed point that we're trying to get back to or get to. And I think about that with respect to our bodies and weight all the time. When people say, I want to get my body back, we need to just remember there is no fixed point and we are humans and we're constantly changing. And that's the part of the beauty of the human experience. And that is always helpful to remember when there is some sort of appearance related change going on.
Doree: Can you wear hats? Is that something that is an option? Just if you are feeling self-conscious about it, which I, I understand that there are cute hats. I'd also love to hear from anyone who has had this specific thing happen at the front of your hairline. I get that. That is a very prominent part. It's harder to camouflage when it's right at the front of your head. So I get that. I mean, the other thing that I think you could do, obviously short of radical body acceptance, which I think we're all working on, you could put a bandage on it because then it would be super obvious, this is a medical thing that happened. This isn't just whatever.
Elise: That's what I like about the little girls or the teenagers wearing the star face stickers.
Doree: Yes. It's like
Elise: This is a pimple.
Doree: Yes, exactly. I'm not trying to cover it up, I'm just making it super obvious. Just, I don't know how big it is, but a bandage on your scalp. I don't know. Maybe something to try.
Elise: Alright, one more question from this listener. Three self-care during transitions advice. My husband is going to start a new and busy job in a few weeks. Do you have any tips for how I can maintain balance when he is going to be a lot less available to help out and just be around? Thanks. How do you approach this?
Doree: Yeah, this is tough. I mean, I think setting time for yourself is important and trying to carve out that time. Is there time that he can help out? I don't know what your family situation is, but if you have kids, maybe that's something he can help with at certain times because I do think it's going to be important for you to have time to yourself as well. I don't know, do you have thoughts?
Elise: Well, I love what Esther Perel says about how in modern life like couples are having to be so dependent on each other because your partner is supposed to be your best friend and in some cases colleague and your co-parent and the sexy your sex partner. And they're having to play so many roles. And what that does is it makes the couple really, it puts a lot of pressure on the couple and makes us all vulnerable. And so the way that we can respond to that is actually to widen our circles of close people and close friends in our lives. So during this time of transition, it's an optimal opportunity to deepen your friendships and your familial relationships if you have siblings or you're close with your parents to go back to the other people in your circle that help support you and have long been supporters of you because our partners can't be our everything. In fact it, it puts a lot of undue pressure actually on our relationships. And so
Doree: This
Elise: Is kind, I see this time as an opportunity.
Doree: I love that. What a nice framing. Okay, we're going to take one more question before we take another break, Elise, it is for you.
Elise: Alright,
Doree: What are your fave soft pants and what do you wear with them? I've been working from home in comfy clothes for the past four and a half years, but now I'm going back to school slash work and need to wear actual clothes again. But I still want to be comfortable.
Elise: I work from home. I have worked from home since I was posted in Seoul as a foreign correspondent because my office was also my home. So I have worked from home since pre covid I guess I've worked from home for almost 10 years, but I still have to go out as a reporter, in which case I will get dressed. And I love my soft pants so much. It's so funny that there's a soft pants question because Rob came home last night and obviously I was in my soft pants and he is like, oh, you're soft pants. It's another day that ends in y. Wow. He knows how much I love my soft pants and he was making a dig at me, you know, look so cute in other pants too, but I'm always in my
Doree: Soft pants. He really got you.
Elise: Yeah, but I love them. And so my favorite ones that I wear when I travel, which also kind of work if you need to be out, are my Lululemon joggers that are high waisted and drawstring. And they have the pockets with the inner pocket too. And they're black and so they're kind of versatile and so we can link to those. And then this summer it's been those white linen pants that are also drawstring and soft and they can be worn inside the house and outside the house, which I think we've mentioned and shared out before. Also. They're from Cotton On. I will share those again. But typically, I mean with linen pants you can wear any sort of top dress those up, dress those down. For my athletic soft pants, I typically wear something athleisure or I'll wear a cropped sweatshirt often when I travel with them. Or just a favorite soft tea or tank. I wear a lot of basics with my soft pants. I really don't have to go anywhere. When we have these podcasting days when you and I are kind of sitting in front of the mic. And so it is true if it's a day that ends in Y
Doree: Elise has her soft pants on,
Elise: I have my soft pants on.
Doree: It's
Elise: Beautiful. Which isn't to say there's anything wrong with hard pants. I also, I do think they're cute. I just prefer,
Doree: Or the soft one found, I wear the a pair of, they're like jeans. They are jeans, but they are soft but they button so they're not like actual soft pants, but they are quite soft. I feel like they're a good happy medium between flannel pajama
Elise: Pants.
Doree: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And actual uncomfortable pants. Alright, we are going to take a short break and we will be our B. Okay, we're back with another question about clothing wrecks. Hi all. I'm a first time mom and I'm currently taking on the Oso fun task of bra shopping, post breastfeeding. My boobs are a totally different shape than they were before I had my daughter. I now have more breast tissue at the bottom of my breasts and less up top. So bras that fit well at the bottom of the cup gap at the top. I'd love to know a few of your listeners have recs of brass that fit the bottom heavy boob shape. Well, I'm open to anything underwire, wire free, whatever is comfy and looks decent with a fitted shirt. Doree, thanks for continuing on with the pod. And Elise, I've been loving getting to know you this summer forever. 35 2 0.0 is a hit.
Elise: Oh, thank you.
Doree: Look at that. We love the love. We do, we do. We love the love. I'm going to recommend a subreddit. Are you ready? Yeah. There is a subreddit called a bra that fits.
Elise: I love that.
Doree: And they have a bra size calculator. It is on the right hand side of the subreddit and you have to measure your loose under bust, your snug under, bust your tight under buss, standing bust, leaning, bust, lying, bust. And they have instructions about how to do all of this. And then they give you your bra size and then they also have diagrams about your boob, your breast shape. And then they have recommendations for breast shape and size. Oh my gosh, this is perfect. The subreddit has been, I think it's been life-changing for a lot of people. I felt quite validated because I did this and my bra size was what I thought it was. Oh good. So I was like, okay, great. I'm in the right bra size. You
Elise: Took your measurements correctly.
Doree: Yes. So what all this to say, listener is I suspect you might be in the wrong size. A lot of times people will post, I thought I was a 34 A, but it turns out I'm a 30 D. Wildly. Wildly
Elise: Off.
Doree: Off. Yeah, exactly. So I would start there. I would go deep into that subreddit, look at all their recommendations. They have specific bra recommendations for different types of breasts. So I just defer to them. They are the experts here.
Elise: Leaning, bust, lying, bust, leaning, bust. I've never taken such measurements.
Doree: Maybe you're in the wrong process.
Elise: It's time to go deep into this subreddit.
Doree: It's time to go deep.
Elise: Thank you for this question, Dora. The next text is kind of for you. I guess I can help answer this, but here we go. Wait, listening to Doree talk about water country. Does California not have any waterparks? Doree's description sounds exactly like a Midwest waterpark that are everywhere. Does California not have the indoor ones either? Curious to hear? No, we have no shortage of water parks.
Doree: There are water
Elise: Parks
Doree: Here.
Elise: There are many, my kids really like the Lego Land one, which is down towards San Diego. That is an outdoor one. It's quite expansive. There's also many capacious waterparks at the Great Wolf lodges
Doree: That
Elise: Dot our landscape, which occasionally we'll go to. But felt, especially after Covid when we had a lot of distancing, they felt a little covid. A lot of people will cram into the great wolf lodges, lazy rivers and such. And then there's lots of hotel resorts and in around places like Palm Springs and San Diego and of course
Doree: The Los Angeles area. I think that the closest analog to water country is Raging waters. Have you been there?
Elise: I haven't been there
Doree: Raging Waters, but I should try. Yeah. It's like an hour outside of LA and just I have not been, but based on the photos and what I know of it, I think it is the most similar to water country
Elise: Because the way you describe water country is kind of nostalgic. It's a little bit old timey. It's not one of these so, or majorly Bain and company invested in it. And it's like
Doree: No very commercial do. Well I do think they are now owned by someone else, but it still feels quite old timey.
Elise: Okay.
Doree: Yeah. So that is just, and I think it's because it was just something that everyone in New England grew up with this freaking jingle.
Elise: Yeah, it's a cultural touchstone. It's a cultural, just an amusement park or a place to go. It
Doree: Was
Elise: Really like the way they marketed it got wormhole into your brain.
Doree: And if you went to any summer camp, you always went on a field trip to water country. And also as we have discussed, because New England is such a four season region, people really embrace summer because it's so fleeting. So any of these seasonal activities I think are especially iconic to people. And we didn't have Great Wolf Lodge growing up. Yeah,
Elise: We didn't.
Doree: I know there's one in New England now, but there wasn't when we were growing up. But yes, there are water parks in Los Angeles. I think Six Flags has a water park.
Elise: Yeah, I loved Hurricane Harbor. It was like a Six Flags property.
Doree: Six
Elise: Flags Hurricane Harbor growing up.
Doree: Yes. Okay. Last question or last text. Hi. Just writing in to say that I made the corn pasta mentioned a few weeks ago, and it is incredible. I also finally made the broccoli and egg fried rice all the way from episode 81. And that is also amazing. My husband has been requesting it often keep the tasty recipes coming. Oh,
Elise: Let's share that one.
Doree: The broccoli and egg fried rice is an old bon appetit recipe.
Elise: Okay,
Doree: That is very good and very easy.
Elise: Awesome. Let's share it.
Doree: Yeah, you just need broccoli scallion eggs, rice, and then some ginger and garlic and all that. But it's quite easy. And if you want more protein you can up the eggs or you could add meat to it or whatever. But I think it's delicious as is. And actually I haven't made it in so long, so thank you for reminding me of that.
Elise: Yeah. And while we're talking about rice bowls listeners, I'm curious if any of you have picked up or have tried this Trader Joe's chicken Schwar bowl I was talking about last week. So let me know what you think or if there are other bowls that are much better. I'm also open to any recommendations.
Doree: Alright, well thanks everyone for listening and coming on this journey with us. And oh, and also, if you're not subscribed to our newsletter, we have a newsletter coming out tomorrow that has some exciting news and updates in it. So check that out Forever35 podcast.com/newsletter. All right.
Elise: Yay.
Doree: Bye.
Elise: See you next time.
* Transcripts are AI Generated.