Mini-Ep 394: Bubbly Water and Boudoir Pics
Kate and Doree learn the polarizing difference between seltzer water, sparkling water, and club soda. Plus, they hear from listeners about birthday boudoir photoshoots, Glossier prods that have stood the test of time, and finding volunteer opportunities.
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Transcript
Kate: Welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer.
Doree: And I'm Doree Shafrir.
Kate: And we're not experts.
Doree: We're not. We're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Kate: And this is a mini episode. It's where we hear from you. We share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
Doree: Indeed, please remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: And if you missed our announcement last week, we have started a Patreon. We have built a home at Patreon.com/Forever35, where you can come join us, get some fresh, new content.
Doree: So head over there, and if you join before July 6th, you get two months free with an annual membership, it's $5 a month, and for $5 a month, you get all the bonus exclusive content. Our new TV rewatch podcast, season one, you get the discord, you get VIP access to our digital live shows. You get an exclusive merch discount. It's a party.
Kate: You get to vote on stuff,
Doree: You get to vote on stuff. And at $10 a month, you'll also get a shout out each and every month on a public episode of the podcast. As a token of our appreciation, you can also get a seven day free trial to just check it out. If you're kind of Patreon curious, just,
Kate: Yeah, just come dip a toe.
Doree: Dip a toe
Kate: For a few days,
Doree: Dip a toe, and then figure out if it's for you.
Kate: Then dip your whole bod
Doree: Oh yeah, Kate. Ooh.
Kate: Ooh. Oh boy. What? It's kind of fitting that the first listener text message that we have here to share Yes. Is this,
Doree: Let's hear it.
Kate: So Alyssa wrote to us, and they said, for my big 50th birthday this year, I'm doing a boudoir photo shoot celebrating 50 years of this body.
Doree: Oh, yeah. Kate, have you ever done a boudoir photo shoot?
Kate: No. Have you ever done a boudoir photo shoot?
Doree: No, I haven't.
Kate: Okay, so next question, would you?
Doree: Would you? I would
Kate: I would too. I have this underlying fear that I would do it and then be disappointed, and I say this only because everyone I know who's done a boudoir photo shoot, their photos are amazing. It's the most gorgeous, confident, radiant photos I've ever seen, and I feel like I worry my expectations would be very high, and then I might let some of my negative self-talk get in the way of me appreciating them. I don't know, am I thinking too deeply about something that should be just light and fun?
Doree: Here's what I will offer.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: I think most people going into it have that fear.
Kate: Interesting. I've never, I've, I've never spoken to anyone who's had a negative boudoir photo shoot experience.
Doree: Right? Yes. I feel like the boudoir photographers are pros and they know how to make people feel comfortable and
Kate: Look fucking hot
Doree: And look fucking hot. Yeah. So
Kate: I'm definitely, it's not that I'm against it, it's more like I've never scheduled one. I think it's just that I would do, I would do one
Doree: Totally.
Kate: Do you bring your own outfits?
Doree: I don't know. I also don't know. Do they do hair and makeup? Do well, what happens?
Kate: Yeah. I would need some outfit help for sure.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: Because I would, I just be in a ratty tank top. I, I would need someone to tell me what to buy. I mean, I would be in my Carol Hockman Costco underwear.
Doree: Oh my God. What if, as you think anyone has done a boudoir photo shoot with Carol Hockman Costco underwear and a minimizer bra.
Kate: I mean, that is what I wear every day. That is honestly, what should my boudoir photo shoot should be? Because to be fair, I like the idea of feeling sexy in those things.
Doree: Totally. I mean, that would kind of be amazing.
Kate: Oh my God, I'm dying. I mean, I will say I love the Spanx Minimizer bra. I just packed two in a suitcase for some travels. I mean, they are my favorite current favorite minimizer bra.
Doree: Well, there you go.
Kate: The third loved one is also really great. Okay. All right. Well, maybe I will do an authentic underwear boudoir photo shoot.
Doree: That would be, I would what? That would be amazing.
Kate: What would you wear?
Doree: I don't know. I don't own anything. I think that would be sexy enough. But then there's also the question of do you feel comfortable wearing someone else's lingerie? Is there, if they have a wardrobe of lingerie, is that weird?
Kate: I would imagine you arent,
Doree: You buy your own.
Kate: I mean laundry
Doree: You buy your own
Kate: And boiling water. Yeah. You buy your own. Right. Again, boiling, boiling water and some laundry detergent takes care of everything.
Doree: Sure, sure
Kate: You probably come with your own outfit, but maybe they suggest places to shop or what to buy.
Doree: Yeah. That's what I'm envisioning. Listen, if you have done a boudoir photo shoot, could you just let us know what goes down? Thank you.
Kate: Yeah, I am. I need more information.
Doree: How did it turn out? How did you feel? Just tell us all the things
Kate: And did you do them for yourself? Did you do them and share the photos with a lover or a friend? I don't know what's, what happens in the end. You just look at the photos and then youre like I did it.
Doree: Also a great question. Also a great question.
Kate: Well, I love this for this listener. What a great way to celebrate 50 years of your body. I just think that's really lovely. So happy birthday to you.
Doree: Happy birthday to you. All right. We got an email. Would love to hear what fun lip balms people are loving, preferably in a stick form, not applied with a doe foot. What does that mean?
Kate: Oh, It's the stick with a sponge. Yeah.
Doree: The applicator? Oh my gosh. I've never heard it referred to that way, have you?
Kate: No, but it really made me, I really made me chuckle because now I'm just imagining a little deer's leg and you just like putting a deer's foot on your mouth.
Doree: Totally. Totally.
Kate: Yeah. That's what it's called. Doe foot.
Doree: Okay. So preferably in a stick form for those easy one-handed lip balm applications.
Kate: I have some sad news, which is that my lip balm of choice is just Vaseline.
Doree: Oh, Okay.
Kate: I don't love, I don't, I find most lip balms drying, so I'm not the best person to ask. I do have a couple pixie products that I like.
Doree: Oh, okay.
Kate: But I don't know. I feel like I've really never, I emotionally connected with a lip balm
Doree: Look, I get it.
Kate: I don't know. Do you have a lip? Are we talking like a colored lip balm kind of thing? Or just like a moisturizing?
Doree: Yeah. I don't totally know what this listener is
Kate: Dreaming of.
Doree: Dreaming of. Yes. But Glossier has a stick called ultra lip.
Kate: Oh, really?
Doree: That is, I believe it is a balm, a colored balm.
Kate: Oh, really?
Doree: So that, yeah, they call it a hydrating lipstick, the rich moisture of a balm, the sheen of a gloss and the buildable color of a lip tint without the hassle of layering multiple products. It's one tube, one step, one Glossier ultra lip. That's their tagline.
Kate: I've never tried this, but do you know what? I just got in my inbox recently.
Doree: What? Kate?
Kate: Marissa Melcher's new book on Glossier.
Doree: Oh,
Kate: I'm very excited to read it. It's called Glossy Ambition Beauty and the Inside Story of Emily Weiss's Glossier.
Doree: Oh, yeah.
Kate: I didn't mean to whisper the end there, but I can't wait, but I didn't even know Glossier made lip balm. That was a stick. I'm still like in my glossier tube lip balm era. So that's kind of a hot tip.
Doree: Youre in balm.com territory.
Kate: I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Doree: Yeah. I hear you.
Kate: All right. Okay.
Doree: Okay. I like that reco. All right.
Kate: All right. Well listen, A gear shift galore here.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: A text just wanted to say in relation to your response to the listener about not revealing her new pregnancy for fear something could go wrong. I'm writing my dissertation on the emotional experience of pregnancy loss in teachers specifically, but everything you said is supported by the academic literature. Loneliness and grief after miscarriage is compounded by our silence about early pregnancy, and that in turn also hides how common miscarriages are. Also, as someone who experienced stillbirth, I know there is always risk in sharing no matter how far into a pregnancy, but having my community support and that devastating loss was invaluable. Also appreciated. Your caveat that it depends on each person's emotional wants and needs. I'm pregnant again now and not sharing on social media as I did before, but am sharing with folks I talked to regularly. Basically just wanted to say, y'all were spot on.
Doree: Wow. I love that. People tell us we are spot on and supported by the academic literature.
Kate: What a compliment to be sure, and what an interesting dissertation and what a necessary, what a valuable service your dissertation is. That's really fascinating. Thank you for
Doree: Totally. This is very cool.
Kate: Thank you for just this message. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doree: Alright, well, Kate, before we take a break, let us remind everyone that they can call or text us at (781) 591-0390. Email us at Forever35podcast@gmail.com. Everything is on our website Forever35podcast.com. We are on Instagram @Forever35podcast. We have a newsletter at Forever35podcast.com/newsletter and you can shop our prods at shopmy.us/Forever35 and just a reminder, can tootaloo on over to our patreon patreon.com/forever35. We'll be right back. Alright, we are back.
Kate: Hello.
Doree: Hello. With an email, I had to pause the pod to write in while listening to mini app 390. I'm a cosmetic scientist who has worked with fragrances in the past and they absolutely will go bad, especially one that is 40 something years old. That fragrance will have changed slightly over the years due to regulatory changes, but will have stayed true to the original scent given it's such an iconic product. I also want to tell Kate that I'm also strongly team polar seltzer. It's the best. Love you guys. I've been listening since the beginning.
Kate: All right. I'm drinking a polar seltzer right now. It's blueberry lemonade flavor, and I also just need to say on the seltzer water front, we had quite a few Topo Chico fans write in and I want to acknowledge and honor them because they're right. Topo Chico is a superior seltzer water. It's fantastic. Okay.
Doree: Wait. hold on.
Kate: It does not come in a lot of flavors.
Doree: Hold on. Yes, yes. Is Topo Chico a seltzer or is it a sparkling water?
Kate: Well, wait, I have a question to you. Is there a difference?
Doree: I think there is.
Kate: Oh, no. Oh no. It's a sparkling water's. A sparkling mineral water. It's water.
Doree: It's a sparkling mineral water. It's not a seltzer.
Kate: Wait a second. There's a difference between a sparkling water and a seltzer. Wait a second.
Doree: I believe so now they do sell a hard seltzer.
Kate: Yeah. Their hard, their ranch water is delicious also. Okay, here we go. Sparkling. Thank you. Food network. Sparkling water is naturally carbonated water, whereas seltzer is water that is artificially carbonated with carbon dioxide.
Doree: And then just to complicate things even more,
Kate: I'm overwhelmed.
Doree: Club Soda.
Kate: Well, I don't even know. I don't even know.
Doree: According to sodastream.com, club soda has added minerals and carbonation, and seltzer does not have any minerals.
Kate: God, I'm going to have a
Doree: Seltzer like carbonated water gets its carbonation later on. However, unlike club soda Seltzer does not contain any minerals. Many people find that seltzer tastes much more like natural spring water than sparkling mineral water or club soda.
Kate: Here's where I also just want to get overwhelmed is with tonic water. Now I know there's a massive difference.
Doree: Tonic water has quini quinine in it.
Kate: Right. Which makes it a flavor.
Doree: It makes it taste bitter.
Kate: Yeah. Holy moly. Okay. The back to the sparkling water versus seltzer situation.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: Okay, so I guess what we could say is that Polar seltzer is the top of the seltzer food chain and Tobo Chico would be the top of the sparkling water.
Doree: Water.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: For example, San Pellegrino is a sparkling water.
Kate: Right? Anything you're getting over in Italy, we're probably talking sparkling water.
Doree: Right. You see the difference?
Kate: I see the difference in terms of what it's called. I don't know if I see the difference in terms of what it is,
Doree: I find a sparkling water to have a, tends to have a sort of more delicate carbonation.
Kate: Yes. I agree.
Doree: Probably because it is naturally occurring carbonation. It's not pumped in
Kate: The bubble. The bubble, the presence of the bubble. It's a lighter bubble.
Doree: It's a lighter bubble.
Kate: I've never felt more worked up or passionate about anything in my life. The world is crumbling everywhere, and I'm so glad for just 20 minutes. I get to think about this polar seltzer versus sparkling water
Doree: versus club soda.
Kate: Oh, okay. Stop with the club mineral. We know it's the minerals.
Doree: Look, I just feel like I need to bring club soda into the conversation.
Kate: What Club Soda?
Doree: Club Soda is entering the chat.
Kate: For the last 20 years, Doree Shafrir has done work bringing Club soda into the conversation
Doree: In it's rightful place in the conversation.
Kate: This your club soda advocacy work has changed the landscape of bubbly water. Wow.
Doree: I'm really glad we cleared that up. And that you weren't going to embarrass yourself by,
Kate: Can you imagine Oh my god.
Doree: Referring to Topo Chico in Texas as a seltzer? Cause I think you would get laughed out of the state.
Kate: I go down with all the Longhorns.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: And I try to hang
Doree: Can, I have one of those Topo Chico seltzers, and they're like, get out of here Yankee.
Kate: Well, what a tree. I mean, Topo Chico is delicious. You can get it here in California. We, Anthony and I sometimes buy it and we don't let our kids drink it because it's like our precious stuff.
Doree: I also do just want to make it clear, Topo Chico is not from Texas. It is from Mexico, but it is
Kate: Oh wow. I associate it with Texas and my brain. I apologize as well.
Doree: I associate it with Texas as well. And it is where I've always, that was where I first drank Topo Chico was in Mex, well, not in Mexico, it was in Texas, but it is from
Kate: same,
Doree: it is from Mexico. It is from Monterey, Mexico.
Kate: Okay, Doree, thank you for clarifying that. I just want to do appreciate that because I would've feel like I would've, then, I would've embarrassed myself more. I would've gone to Mexico and been like, have you had Texas's Topo Chico?
Doree: Well, I feel like all the Topo Chico heads are composing angry emails to us as we speak. So if you were composing, posing one of those emails,
Kate: you know what deserved,
Doree: you can delete it. We're aware that it's from Mexico.
Kate: Well, you're aware it took me until this episode.
Doree: Well, Kate, I mean, you thought that Topo Chica was a seltzer, so
Kate: I know I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. Oh my goodness. Okay. Moving on. A text from someone who says, for the listener who wrote in Looking for an everyday pant, the A more their Paris rib jogger is perfection. The company is sustainably focused. The fabric quality is amazing, machine washable, incredibly comfortable, and under a hundred dollars. The sizing is not technically extended, but I wore the XL as a size 14 all through pregnancy, and now as a size 18-20. I just bought two more to add into the rotation because they're basically the only thing I feel good in postpartum. So the only, I'm glad to hear that the XL is generous in terms of the sizes that it supports, but I don't like that it doesn't come in a longer body length and dare I say, for a shorter body length. So I would not be able to wear these. I need these would, these would be like 2006 leggings on me. Remember, we were all wearing leggings under our dresses in 2006.
Doree: I do remember that.
Kate: That's what these would be on me, and I will say the Vori joggers, they make them in a long size, which is why I like them, and I, oh, Doreee, I have exclusive news. Oh, I breaking news.
Doree: Okay, I'm listening.
Kate: I ordered these Costco Kirkland brand joggers because a lot of people on the internet.
Doree: the Dukes, how are they?
Kate: They're too short on me. I don't, they weren't like them as much as the Vori and normally, I mean, I'm literally recording this in a cos in a Kirkland signature baseball hat. This episode of the podcast.
Doree: Oh, man.
Kate: Yeah, they were a bit of a letdown. Yeah, so I'll be returning.
Doree: That is too bad because I feel like I have been seeing a lot of people talking about these joggers, but that is unfortunate that they were too short on you.
Kate: I think they would actually be perfect for someone. Your height in the five seven-ish range.
Doree: I'm five six,
Kate: but for us, five six, excuse me, for us five teners. It's just it's not happening.
Doree: Sorry to hear that.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: Okay. All right. Another email. Hi, Kate and Doree, longtime listener. Since that inaugural episode with you talking about your favorite products, if I recall, there was something from Glossier that you loved. Wait a second. This is the Glossier episode.
Kate: I know
Doree: we haven't talked Glossier in ages
Kate: so long. No.
Doree: Perhaps the concealer. Anyway, I'm writing in to ask, would you ever consider using oils typically reserved for cooking on your skin? For example, people for centuries have used olive oil, sunflower oil, hemp seed oil, and others directly on their skin. I wonder if it's all a marketing ploy to make us believe oils, to make us believe using oils in their true form and not diluted with other chemicals is comedogenic clogs pores. I used to use pure rose hip oil as my moisturizer, and honestly don't know why I stopped Thoughts. Love the pod. Love y'all.
Kate: Okay. I don't remember what it was from Glossier that we loved. I, I still use boy brow and balm.com. Those are kind of the main products I've stuck with from Glossier. Maybe it was that like, oh, and their perfume, maybe it was that serum, that tinted moisturizer stuff
Doree: Wasn't there. What was that Glossier serum that you really liked for a while?
Kate: Are you thinking of Future Dew?
Doree: Yes.
Kate: Yes. The oil serum hybrid. Yes, I did like that. Yeah, I did. Yes, I did. I just kind of, I've kind of moved on from that kind of shiny serum hybrid face.
Doree: Got it.
Kate: Tint, but maybe I'll head back and in terms of putting oil in my body, yeah, sure. I would put olive oil. I mean have, I've put coke. I used to put coconut oil as a moisturizer. Use it all the time. I'm going to do a hoba oil nail bath for a nail soak for my fingernails. And I think you could also do that with grape seed oil.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: Yeah, sure. I don't think there's any reason not to.
Doree: I do also just want to shout out one Glossier product that I do really like, which is, and I feel like people don't talk about as much, which is their priming moisturizer rich, their face cream.
Kate: I think it's overshadowed by the regular one.
Doree: Yeah, yeah. But I think if you're looking for a thick, as Kate likes to say, cream, this is a good one. Other than that, I don't use that much glossier anymore. I used to use her cloud paint, but I don't think it stays on very long.
Kate: It doesn't stay on long. I've gone back to a powder blush.
Doree: Yeah, sorry. Cloud paint. Sometimes I will layer, I'll put a cloud paint on top just to give a little bit of a glow, but I find that if I use it alone, it does not last.
Kate: I mean, I think Boy Brow is an excellent product.
Doree: Boy Brow is a good product. Yes, I agree.
Kate: And I buy five at a time.
Doree: Oh, Okay.
Kate: Just, well, because I used to order from Glossier and they did not have free, or I was always trying to get to the free shipping. You know how it is.
Doree: I do. I sure do.
Kate: Alright, Doree, let's pause again and when we come back, we're going to talk about volunteering.
Doree: All right. Let's do it. All right. We have returned with a text. Hi. Just responding to the latest pod about volunteering Canadian here, but I assume some similar opportunities are available. I am a NICU nurse and I think one of the best ever volunteer spots is as a NICU cuddler. Yes, you snuggle babies and it's often offered in three to four hour sessions from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM Just a thought. My kids also liked walking dogs at a dog rescue. So when I saw this text, I was like, huh. And I tootalooted on over to the Cedar Sinai website because it's a large hospital near me that has a nicu. There did not seem to be any specific NICU opportunities. My completely uninformed guess is that in the United States, this is considered a liability to have.
Kate: Interesting
Doree: To have just strangers showing up to cuddle NICU babies. I dunno, maybe there are NICU cuddlers. I just, I've never heard of it here. It didn't seem to be something that was clearly available as a volunteer at Cedars, and I know they haven't a big nicu, so I don't know. It sounds great.
Kate: I have heard of it, of this as a volunteer option, but I have never sought it out, so I would mean cuddle a baby.
Doree: Sure,
Kate: Sure. I love this idea.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: I've also done animal, I've done dog walking and stuff at rescues. I also love that. I mean, that can be challenging and you need to, to go through steps to be approved. I do know that for volunteering at a dog rescue, and I'm assuming that it would be even more intense in a nicu. But great suggestions. This listener wrote. For anyone who loves theater dancer music, try volunteering at a local arts center. I did this for five years in my city, and I got to know some of the regular patrons. I loved that it was flexible month to month, and I liked seeing some shows for free. But the best part was helping people feel welcome and spaces that were not necessarily coded for them in terms of race, class, wealth, and ability. The listener mentioned church, if you like, cooking, churches often have opportunities to cook for people such as people just home from the hospital. Food pantries are also really fun because you get to meet great people. They play music while you cook, and you get to see the impact of what you made in real time. Finally, try signing up for Volunteer match at volunteermatch.org. I just checked my area and there are hundreds of options driving cancer patients to their appointments, helping out at local festivals, literacy, tutoring, rape, crisis help center, call line shifts. They will even send you weekly updates with new options, some of which are virtual volunteering makes me feel like I have more time, not less, which doesn't make sense, but it is true. We can change what we can touch. I hope this listener finds something they love and then they wrote Cheers and love to my friends and fellow listeners, Kat, Kristen, and Katie.
Doree: Aw,
Kate: Look at that.
Doree: Love that.
Kate: Very sweet.
Doree: Love a shout out.
Kate: I don't, did I mention that we stock up the little free pantry near my house? Yeah, you did. I can't remember if I mentioned that. Okay. I didn't know if I had mentioned that, but I love finding stuff like that in local areas. And I think a local food pantry, you can also do that. Great idea. Volunteer match. Okay. I should check there myself. Okay. Love it. All right, well, we have one more voicemail to play on this topic.
Voicemail: Hey Kate and Doree calling re the caller who was interested in volunteer opportunities. So I recently took my first nonprofit job with Meals on Wheels, and I will say they, the organization and their needs and their schedule differs from state to state and probably town to town. But I manage the volunteer program and I'm in the process of expanding it to offer several different shifts and opportunities throughout the day. We have a food pantry, we have somebody monitor that. Obviously, delivering the meals to me is such an awesome way to give back because you, it's still very independent. You get to ride around in your car, listen to your podcast, and still feel like you are and not feel like you are giving back to your community. You are helping those in need and you get immediate gratification when somebody opens the door and smiles and is thankful for their meal. I feel like Meals on Wheels doesn't get the credit it deserves because it just sort of has always existed in the back of all of our minds. But it's a great organization and a great opportunity for volunteering. So that would be my rec. Love you. Thanks.
Doree: Great reminder.
Kate: Yeah. I love it.
Doree: Thank you for that.
Kate: Thank you for this. We have such great listeners.
Doree: We really do.
Kate: Well. We love you all.
Doree: We do. All right. Bye.
Kate: Oh, wait, Doree.
Doree: Wait, what?
Kate: No, no. I have something to say before we wrap up.
Doree: Okay. What's that?
Kate: Because we had someone who wrote in from Canada, and I thought to myself, I remember a Canadian sparkling water, clearly Canadian.
Doree: Oh, that's right.
Kate: Did you ever drink that?
Doree: Of course I did.
Kate: I feel like it's hard to find now.
Doree: Yeah, it had a real moment and that moment was in the nineties.
Kate: It did. I was obsessed.
Doree: Yeah, it was really good.
Kate: If you're still up there drinking, clearly Canadian, let us know. Love to hear how it's going.
Doree: Bye everybody.