Mini-Ep 392: Structured Socializing
Listeners send in passionate messages wondering where all the women’s zippered joggers are at, and how to deal with dry neck skin. Plus, free mugging on a bike??
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer,
Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir,
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: We're not, we're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,
Kate: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
Doree: And please do remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: Ooh, Doree, happy to be here.
Doree: I'm happy to be here too. It's great to see you.
Kate: It's great to see you too. Now we received the, you know what, I'm going to just move this text message up in our document just to kind of spice things up a little bit as we record this episode.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: Because we received a text, it came in all caps.
Doree: Okay. Yep.
Kate: And it was one sentence. And the question was this, does Doree still do Mahjong question mark, exclamation point, meaning this is an urgent question,
Doree: Kate,
Kate: and I was like, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this, but I want to take it to the expert.
Doree: Well, the expert in my schedule. Who is myself. The answer is yes. I still do. Mahjong, we play, I play once a month with the same group of people and we play at our friend. We usually play at our friend Alyssa's house, and Alyssa is the one who taught, I think almost all of us to play. She's like our Mahjong mom.
Kate: She taught me how to play, but
Doree: Oh, that's right.
Kate: I never kept up with it after my one learning experience.
Doree: I mean, you could go back.
Kate: I could, right now my interest is the card game phase 10. That's kind of where I'm at in terms of games.
Doree: Oh, okay. Well, so what I don't do any longer is I no longer play Mahjong online. There is an app called Real Mahjong that I played for a while during the pandemic. And you could play against the computer, but you could also play against real people. So you could say to friends like, Hey, do you want to play a game? And you could have a private game and play,
Kate: oh, that's cool play.
Doree: Or you could just join a stranger's game.
Kate: I love joining a stranger's game,
Doree: And that was fun. But that I kind of stopped doing. I mean, not kind of, I did stop doing it, but yes, I play, we, we've been playing pretty consistently monthly.
Kate: And you also have a weekly poker game?
Doree: Not weekly,
Kate: But a consistently regular poker game.
Doree: I have pretty well, I actually have two pretty regular poker games with two groups of people.
Kate: Look at you socializing with an activity.
Doree: I love socializing an act with an activity.
Kate: I do. You like structured socializing?
Doree: I like structured socializing. Especially if it involves a game,
Kate: Which, you know what? Come to think of it, I am a big fan of structured socializing. I much prefer it over like, Hey, 15 of us are going to all hang out, and you may or may not know everybody that sends me, but if it's a structured activity, people,
Doree: When was the last time you got invited to hang out with 15 people?
Kate: Never. Not even before Covid. Quite honestly, I really love the idea of a group of people getting together. You may not know everybody, but you're all doing something. So the focus is on that, and you can converse about that rather than being like, what's your job? Do you like it? Right.
Doree: Well, I think that's why you, especially pickleball.
Kate: Oh my God, I love pickleball. Yes. Except I'm too scared to go play on the public courts because I'm afraid I'm going to be bad at it. I'm having, I have performance anxiety.
Doree: No one's bad at pickleball.
Kate: No, no, no. People are bad at pickleball Doree. You can be very bad at pickleball, and you can also be very good at pickleball and very competitive, and I just don't know if I'm ready to take it to the streets.
Doree: Yeah, that's okay. That's fair.
Kate: But I was thinking of a time many years ago when you organized a poker training class for people.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: And it was so fun, and it was mostly people I didn't really know, but it was a great way to hang and get to know people while also doing something that takes your mind off of the socializing.
Doree: Yes. This is why I like playing games with groups of people.
Kate: Yeah, that makes sense. All right, well, Doree, let's shift gears a little bit and share this email. Hello there. Kat and Dor. Can we please talk about pockets in women's clothing, particularly in pants? Why do women not deserve zippered pockets in our pants? I have been looking for a unicorn jogger apparently. I simply want a pair of women's joggers that have zippered pockets. I have looked at low price point and high-end brands recently I was browsing both Costco and the Vori website and realized a true pattern. Both of these stores had the same type joggers for men and women, but the women's one did not have zipper pockets. Literally the same product fabric name of jogger. But women's do not come with zipper pockets. Why? I do not want to bring a purse with me when I'm out for a walk, but I also don't want my phone to fall out of my pocket because of course I have my phone with me so I can listen to your podcast while walking. Duh. Same goes for when I am coaching soccer. I am not going to bring a purse on the soccer field having looked high and low. All I can think is that we are still stuck in a man's world, and folks in the fashion world are not grasping the concept that women need Zipper pockets too. So frustrating. If you know of any great joggers that actually have a zippered pocket every brand has for men's joggers, let me know. Thank you. Fuck the patriarchy zipper list in Seattle. She her.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: Well, I mean kind of on topic, but I did order those Kirkland brand joggers off their website last night, and I will report back. Not the, I ordered the women's. And I guess I never realized that men's joggers have zippered pockets until this passionate message.
Doree: Passionate, I would say,
Kate: And look, you can send out what one listener has coined the serum signal, which is a request for help. So send it out looking for a zipper pocket. You could also, I don't know what your sizing is, you could just buy the men's joggers, try it home at least.
Doree: So I am looking around unique glow,
Kate: The internet.
Doree: I'm looking on the internet, Unique Glow has some joggers that have a zipper back pocket, and it looks like rather large, so that could be an option for you. The side pockets are not zippered, but the back pocket is zippered. I Googled women's pants with zipper pockets. Some of these that are coming up do not have zippers anyway.
Kate: Yeah, they say they do. They say, I'm looking at,
Doree: They look at that. But that pair from Uniqlo definitely do have zippers, a zipper back pocket. So maybe that's an option for you,
Kate: I'm looking at a pair at ATA or Athleta, the altitude two lined pant. Now, these might,
Doree: They sound warm
Kate: Which they do sound warm, but I'm just, for an example, it does say here, easy access, secure pockets to stash your essentials.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: And I don't, that doesn't say zipper, but I do feel like maybe the folks at Athleta, Athleta, Athleta, I don't know how I say that. Maybe they do understand the need, like a zipper list pocket. I mean a zippered pocket that shouldn't fall in the gender binary.
Doree: No.
Kate: I mean, gender is, look, gender's a construct. We all know.
Doree: I'm also looking at a pair from Lululemon that have, they say they have a hidden zipper pocket look, I will confess that I have not found the need for a zipper pocket myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't respect your desire for a zipper pocket.
Kate: Well, I think especially too, thinking about this listener coaching soccer, like running around with your phone and your pocket, that I especially do understand
Doree: This seems like the perfect use Kate for a fanny pack.
Kate: I know I,
Doree: Oh, here's another pair from the Lemon that have a zipper pocket.
Kate: It'd be hard to bounce that fanny pack around while you're jogging, walking. For sure. Now, I also did find a pair here on Amazon. Who knows if they're any good G gradual women's sweatpants with zipper pocket.
Doree: I mean, sounds like a zipper pocket.
Kate: It does. If that's accurate. It seems like there is a zipper pocket. Yeah. We'll keep looking, but send out that signal and we'll see if anybody bites.
Doree: Yeah. If you are aware of any joggers with a zipper pocket, holler.
Kate: Holler at us. Oh,
Doree: Okay. Kate,
Kate: One more text.
Doree: Another, another text. Hi Kate and Doree listening to mini app 3 83 and the listener's question about sunscreen leaving a white residue on car interiors A magic eraser is your friend from Moving Stubborn Sunscreen. Oh my goodness. What a good idea.
Kate: Now we're talking about the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Doree: I'm assuming
Kate: Truly a jack of all trades that Mr. Clean sponge.
Doree: Yeah, It is.
Kate: Yeah. It's a great idea. Great. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you to Mr. Clean for just always for your terrifying vibes in your great pocket, your great products. All right. Well listen, Doree, before we take a break, a friendly reminder if you want to reach us here on the pod, our voicemail is (781) 591-0390. You can also text us at that number and our email is Forever35podcast@gmail.com.
Doree: You can visit our website Forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show. We are on Instagram @Forever35podcast. We have a newsletter at Forever35podcast.com/newsletter. And you can shop our favorite products at shopmy.us/Forever35.
Kate: Alright. We'll be right back Doree.
Doree: Kate,
Kate: Question from a listener. They asked, have you guys talked about dry neck skin? I had a baby and he sucked all the moisture out of my neck. I've never. I don't think we've talked specifically about dry neck skin.
Doree: No, I don't think we have. But what was that? What was that thing that Jackie Johnson always used to say on Na Butte?
Kate: Cream your neck
Doree: Cream your neck.
Kate: I think about that all the time.
Doree: Cream your neck. You got to cream your neck
Kate: And you can get a specific neck cream. But I personally think any thick moisturizing cream will do. For me, that's a Vanna Cream for me. I just cream that. Cream it up. You might want to maybe also extend your serums down your neck.
Doree: Yeah. I think anything you put on your face you can put on your neck
Kate: And your chest
Doree: And your chest. Totally.
Kate: So that could be retinol, but that could also be like your hy if you have a hyaluronic acid serum, it doesn't need to be fancy.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: Just like hyaluronic acid serum and just totally just cream your neck and maybe try to do it twice a day if you can. Or every night. Whatever's going to help you remember to do it. You've got a baby. That's a lot to remember.
Doree: Yep. Yeah.
Kate: I don't know. Dry neck skin. I don't know if is it any different? The neck is such a weird thing. I've completely neglected my neck. I realize Nora Ephron wrote a whole book about feeling bad about your neck.
Doree: She does.
Kate: Necks are so weird. I feel like with necks, it's like you don't think about them and then all of a sudden one day you're like, oh god.
Doree: Right.
Kate: What's happening here?
Doree: Right. Well, I think that's why you want to put everything that you put on your face on your neck,
Kate: Including sunscreen.
Doree: Yes. I put sunscreen on my neck back and front.
Kate: Ooh, look at that old back neck. Doree really goes deep.
Doree: Well, Gwyneth Paltrow has famously talked about the back of her neck.
Kate: Of course she has. Of course. Of course she has. I do want to note, I see over here in Paul's choice website that they have an intensive repair cream. I guess you could use it on your neck. That's what came up when I searched for neck cream.
Doree: Well, our pals at Alchemy forever have sent us their neck firming, neck and chest gel, which seems lovely, but again, hard for me to tell whether it is necessary to have a separate neck product. My gut says no.
Kate: My gut says no too. And you know what, Doree? I just do want to know we are not experts and we're also not neck-perts.
Doree: Not bad Kate. Not bad.
Kate: Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Why don't you take this text, Doree, take it away. I would love to read it to us.
Doree: Hello. A few years ago I was at a skincare party. I would like to know more about that, where the host touted the ingredient Matrixyl as a miraculous age reversing agent, I bought into her elevator pitch. And now feel as though I've been pranked. The serum I have is fine, but I haven't heard of Matrixyl since. As my skincare gurus. I'm curious to ask what do you ladies know about it? And have I been coaxed into buying snake oil?
Kate: So I wanted to share this message because it arrived in our inbox the same time Matrixyl started appearing in my TikTok for you page feed. I don't know if it's people I follow. Some skincare people were raving about Matrixyl and I had never heard of it. So from what I understand, thanks to internet searching, it is a peptide that allegedly can help the creation, help bring about the creation of more collagen. And I have a couple TikToks I will link to because people have varying takes on matric. And my thought is, I bet for some people it's great and they're using it and they're noticing things. And if you're not, I would stop using it. I don't think it's necessarily snake oil, but I think it's anything like mileage may vary end of sentence.
Doree: Yeah. I mean I was familiar with Matrixyl of indirectly because of my coq 10 serum,
Kate: A classic. The most iconic serum
Doree: It all comes back to the CoQ10 serum. Which full disclosure I've not used in quite some time, but I still stand by it.
Kate: It will always be in our hearts.
Doree: It will always be in our hearts. And the company that makes it timeless skincare, which is a very ingredients focused company, they don't have a ton of products and everything they make is very, I think it's pretty potent.
Kate: I use their squalane oil.
Doree: So they are big on Matrixyl.
Kate: Interesting.
Doree: And I've bought their Matrixyl 3000 serum, which they tout as an anti-aging collagen builder. They say the potent age fighting serum restores, the skin's collagen repair mechanisms which improve overall skin elasticity, firmness and texture. And then there's also some hyaluronic acid also says, beneficial for neck and dete.
Kate: Oh, backtrack to the other listener
Doree: Just saying. And then they also have a matric Synthe six serum that has six CRI critical skin building essentials Poly, this powerful polypeptide. Don't totally understand the difference between those two, but there we are. And then they also have some sprays, which might be up oh one Kate H Spencers ally
Kate: Wait a second. Are you telling me they have serum sprays?
Doree: They have Matrixyl sprays. Mists, if you will.
Kate: Well now I'm listening. Oh my gosh, I will. Okay. I might have to do some research for this podcast.
Doree: So I linked to them in our document there, Kate, on the last link.
Kate: I see it here. I go, clickity click.
Doree: And they come in four different scents.
Kate: Look at this
Doree: cucumber, rose, orange, and lavender.
Kate: I love the smell of cucumber. Oh my gosh.
Doree: Oh, orange is sold out currently, but they're 19.95. I've definitely bought these before. So yeah, so they're basically just hyaluronic acid and matrixyl.
Kate: Have you heard of Argerlene? Because that's like another peptide that I've been seeing come up.
Doree: No.
Kate: And I feel like those are the two that keep getting mentioned. And I was like, I literally have never heard of either of these things. I will share the one link I found on ar juline, but I bet some listeners have heard of it or are using it or something.
Doree: Listen, timeless doesn't sell any argerline, so I'm not familiar with it.
Kate: Well, if timeless doesn't sell it, I don't want to know it.
Doree: That's what I'm talking about.
Kate: I love their squalling, I got to say. So
Doree: It's good stuff. It's good stuff.
Kate: All right. Well thank you for that insight, Doree. That was a great intel.
Doree: Oh, well I try. I really do.
Kate: All right. Well, I might get this cucumber spray. All right, switching gears. We're going to put our pants on with a voicemail from a friend of the pod.
Doree: I love when friends of the pod call in and don't tell us it was, you know what I mean?
Kate: Yeah. I let out a loud squeal because, I wasn't expecting it. They didn't text us. They didn't email.
Doree: Right, exactly. It's like a little, little Easter egg.
Kate: Okay. It was like a treat. Yeah, it was a treat. Yeah. Okay, here we go.
Voicemail: Doree, and Kate, this is your pal, Maureen Gu. And I can't believe I'm having an actual pause the pod moment because usually I just text you guys. But I am responding to the person who is not feeling great about wearing jeans and they wanted alternative pants options. And I also hate wearing jeans Right now. My body is changing, but also I just don't like how I love a high waisted jean that fits right. And it's just not comfort anymore. I have now fully embraced as a middle aged lady, the kind of baggy midrise slash lowrise trend, which honestly, if you had told me I would be doing this, I wouldn't have believed you. But I just bought the Levi's dad carpenter Jean, and they're so comfy. It's, they're actually more comfy than sweatpants. They still make your butt look good. They're not like bragging the butt. They're just loose fit everywhere else. And I'm finding that wearing that with a button up or a sweatshirt tucked in or a regular t-shirt, it's very cute. Also, an option overalls, if you still want a denim look, overalls are the best. Okay. Let's see you guys soon. Nice.
Kate: These are cute
Doree: Overalls.
Kate: I had a pair of the garden witch overalls. Yeah. Which received that nickname via the Gee, Thanks. Just bought it pod, but I cannot find them when an item of clothing goes missing in your home and they're just gone. It's just gone.
Doree: Yes. Yes, I do.
Kate: And I loved wearing those overalls. I've jean overalls I've never mastered. And now this was so interesting. One, I'm looking at these jeans that Maureen recommended, and they are super cute and they do have kind of a lower rise waist, which is fascinating. And I guess that's where we're headed. But Maureen also has this other great pair of jeans that I see her wear often that are balloon jeans, I think that are very cute. So I would call her a bit of a jean spurt or a jack spurt. It's not working. Not over here. But I like these. I I'm tempted by these Levi's dad utility pants. They're cute.
Doree: I'm intrigued.
Kate: Well, if you and I both show up wearing them, the next time we see Maureen, we will.
Doree: And she's also wearing them and wearing,
Kate: She's also wearing them. We'll, have a good laugh. Thanks for the wreck, Maureen.
Doree: Yeah, thanks Maureen.
Kate: Thank you for calling the pod.
Doree: Thanks for listening. All right. We're going to take another break. We'll be right back. All right. We have returned. We have another email that's not for me, but I'll read it anyway. Hi Kat and Dor. This message is a bit more for Kate. Sorry, Doree. I moved to the Netherlands almost a year ago today. I was in a rush and desperately wanted to bring my coffee, so I got on my bike and proceeded to cycle to my appointment with my open mug of coffee, cobbled stoned streets and all, All I could think is I sipped and cycled was how proud I was beginning to fit in and also how Kate would totally appreciate this hope you're both well, and thanks so much for the pod.
Kate: This is so chaotic that I almost can't handle it.
Doree: This is blowing my mind.
Kate: First of all,
Doree: how the fuck do you even do this?
Kate: I don't know. You fit in. I mean, I'm sure local because in the Netherlands, everybody bikes and they bike everywhere, right? Like it's bike culture. So people have to free mug all over the place there. I mean, I don't know. I've never been.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: How did you, and also, was it a ceramic mug?
Doree: I have so many questions. Is you the mug? Do you have a cup holder? Are you biking with one hand? How do you break?
Kate: Oh, okay. I'm imagining I, I'm holding, I'm, I'm holding onto pretend handlebars with one hand, and then I'm balancing the mug on the other handlebar and resting my hand. That's how I think I would do it. It is, this is wild.
Doree: Also, also, let's be clear that this could only happen in a country like the Netherlands that has real bike infrastructure.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: I would never do this in an American city. I mean, I would never do this period.
Kate: That's fair.
Doree: But I especially would not do this in America. I would love if you got to the Netherlands and you were like, you know what? I am going to free mug on this bike. It's, it's easier here. I mean, I wouldn't do this in America and I don't think I would do this anywhere. I'm not a good enough cyclist to be able to balance a coffee cup again, unless it's in some sort of holder. Or maybe you have a basket.
Kate: I am, I dunno. Am I mean, this lister says open mug of coffee. We're not even talking like a paper cup that could fit in a cup holder. We're talking an open talking, a mug mug of coffee. Also, to be clear, I have a couple times put iced, an iced coffee, a covered iced coffee in my bike's cup holder and it has spilled. So I cannot even imagine free mugging on a bicycle. I mean, this is next level.
Doree: This beats the person who saw somebody on the subway with a coffee cup, because also this person did it. This listener in the Netherlands. Bike free mugged.
Kate: Yes.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: I mean, wow. Okay. Well listen, Doree, before we wrap up, just to torment you, we have another free mugging voicemail.
Doree: Oh my God, you're listen. So mean.
Kate: I put this episode together and I thought, what could the last segment be.
Doree: Listen, could all of my rational human friends please write in. Also, I just want to be clear that the rational human wine, Tumblr slash coffee mug, whatever, on the balance bound website is sold out.
Kate: Oh, and I love mine. I drink, drink coffee in mine. It's great
Doree: Because it's great. Okay, here we go.
Kate: Okay.
Voicemail: Hi, Kate. Doree Lindsay here from Philadelphia. Love the show. First time, long time I wanted to call to seek the validation that only Kate and my fellow free muggers can give me. This morning, I got three kids out to the minivan mug in hand, did elementary school drop off, drove uptown to the orthodontist office, parked, paid for parking, walked two of my children all the way to the orthodontist, went in with mug, took mug in to meet with the orthodontist, to have a conversation about Invisalign versus braces, which is a whole other thing I'd love for you guys to talk about when it comes to our youth. And yeah, had my free mug the whole time, made it back. And here I am feeling really, really bold and brave. Thanks so much. Bye.
Doree: I'm just going to comment on this listener's, Invisalign versus braces comment. Because as someone who did Invisalign, I truly cannot fathom having a child or even a teenager do Invisalign as someone who threw out her retainer by mistake, her aligners by mistake a few times and rescued them from the trash. It, they're annoying to keep track of and you have to take them out every time you eat. And it's just like a whole thing. And I think if I were a young person, I would, I see the appeal, but also just get the braces.
Kate: As I was telling Doree before we started recording, we had family visiting and my niece was sleeping in my daughter's room and my niece somehow ended up with one of my daughter's sneakers and flew it back to North Carolina. So my child can't keep track of her shoes slash. Her niece, like her cousin. Thought they were, I dunno how It's a mix. They're children. It's a totally honest, but that's a shoe. Yeah. I can't imagine a clear plastic. I can barely, I've had to go through three retainers because my dog kept chewing them up. I can't keep track of my retainers. Yeah, that's me this year. Yeah. So yeah, my daughter, I've had friends, kids who have had Invisalign. I know them, but I think the majority still get the regular kind of braces. I don't know. I guess that's a call you make as a parent. And I also think cost and insurance, all that shit you got to get.
Doree: Totally, totally. I guess I would just side eye why all these orthodontists are really pushing Invisalign. Just saying, okay, well that brings us to the end of our show.
Kate: It does. What a blast.