Mini-Ep 312: Fingernail Envy and Debt Frenzy

Kate deals with the consequences of fingernail dreams and Doree celebrates a new milestone for her son. Then, listeners send in their love and support from Canada, praise the use of Pixi Glow Tonic, and wonder about a relationship with a partner in debt.

To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at forever35podcast@gmail.com.

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Transcript

 

Kate : Hello friends. Welcome to forever 35. This is a podcast about the things that we do to take care of ourselves. And I am Kate Spencer, And I am Doree Shafrir

Kate : And we are not experts.

Doree : No, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

Kate : And this is a mini episode where we hear from you we share your comments and your thoughts. And we answer your questions to the best of our ability

Doree : Indeed. But please remember we are podcast hosts. We are not experts. And we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and/or mental health professional as needed.

Kate : If you would like to reach us, which I hope you would like to do, you can send us a text or leave us a voicemail at 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0. Or you can email us at forever 35 podcast@gmail.com.

Doree : You can also visit our website forever 35 podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show. You can also shop the products we recommend at shopmyshelf.us/forever 35. They're just kind of arranged a little more intuitively than they are on the website. Um, we are also on Twitter where we basically never tweet, but you can follow us there at forever 35 pod on Instagram at forever 35 podcast. And you can join the forever 35 Facebook group. The password there is serums. We also have a newsletter which you can sign up for at forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter. And we are doing a giving circle to support the state's project. And our goal is to get to $20,000. Um, so you know, every, every little bit helps and you can donate at Bitly/forever 35 podcast. GC. We'll also link to that in the show notes, but yes, we appreciate any and all support there.

Kate : We are almost at $12,000 raised. Yay. That's amazing. Thank you all so much. We're so excited about this giving circle. It's been really inspiring to watch people donate or join or do whatever they can. So thank you for participating with us. We are psyched.

Doree : It's very cool.

Kate : It's like a nice little, little bit of hope in an otherwise grim world. Wow. I've been so negative lately. You know what? Not gonna go there today. Do I have a nineties hip hop playlist going in the background while I'm working? I'm gonna just, yeah. I'm I'm I'm gonna turn it around today.

Doree : Okay. You're gonna turn that frown upside down.

Kate : That's right. It's gonna be a upside down frown. <laugh>

Doree : We call that a smile, Kate.

Kate : I, oh, that's another word for it, but you know, I like to make things difficult. <laugh> but anyway. Yes.

Doree : Well, Kate What is going on with you?

Kate : Oh, Doree. Oh, look okay. No, it's fine. Again. I'm not gonna be a negative Nellie. I am gonna say I'm pretty sure I have a nail fungus situation going on here. Oh dear. I think in my quest of having fake nails, I then somewhere down the line got a nail fungus.

Doree : Oh no.

Kate : It's okay. I mean, didn't you also have a nail fungus at some point I had

Doree : A toenail fungus situation.

Kate : And did you take a prescription pill?

Doree : I did not a pill. I used a, an ointment,

Kate : But a prescription ointment. A

Doree : Prescription ointment? Yes.

Kate : Okay. I have a call. I have a video call with my doctor today to inquire. Okay. About, and actually, you know what, Doree, I think it's possible. I gave myself this situation.

Doree : How so?

Kate : Okay. I think I, well, I think maybe I filed off my gel nails. Whoops. Okay. I'm not supposed to do that. And I actually think what's happening. It it's either a fungus cuz I can actually see that the nails have gotten a little better or it's something I've self-diagnosed myself with called oncholysis, which is the separation of the fingernail from its nail bed. And I've had this before, like from running and my, you know like, or if you slam your finger in a door, your nail might fall off. But I actually have read that like fungal infection can cause this. So it's possible. That's what that is. Or you can also like file your nails so thin that they start to separate. This is gross. I realize this is kind of gross to talk about, but you know, what's what it's made me realize

Doree : What Kate,

Kate : In my endless quest for the fingernails of my dreams, I've ruined the fingernails that I have.

Doree : Ooh, there's a, there's a lesson in there somewhere, so

Kate : Do things happening, right? There's something to be learned from this where I don't know, I wanted, I want, I want long, beautiful nails. And now I have nails that are essentially falling off. So, you know, do with This Lesson what you will friends out there. And if you've been on this journey, hit me up again. I wanna repeat, I am talking to a doctor today. So I am trying to go like the safest route. I have been putting an ointment on.

Doree : I'm glad you're talking to a doctor.

Kate : Yeah. I figured that was probably the best thing to do rather than self diagnosing via Google at 11 o'clock at night. which is normally what I like to do.

Doree : Oh

Kate : Yeah. But you know, it's like that thing that I think can happen where like you go seeking, you know, like this, this like warped world of vanity that many of us slash most of us are kind of stuck in. Right? Like you,

Doree : Yeah.

Kate : You seek something and then often times the change or like the pursuit makes it worse rather than better.

Doree : Yeah.

Kate : I would say

Doree : Like, I mean

Kate : Like overly done lips are an example of this

Doree : It's tricky, right? Like it's, it's, it's hard to know what that line is.

Kate : Yeah. I mean, it's look well, you and I have, well, you and I are fans of Jessica Defino, the beauty writer. And I think, I think she talks a lot about this in her work of like you get you're you're sucked into these things. It's it's like a pointless pursuit. You know, like this is what, this is what is intended almost by beauty. Beauty culture is the, the endless pursuit and the never met goal.

Doree : Mm-hmm <affirmative>

Kate : Now have I stepped out of this journey? No, of course not. I mean, but this is the trap. Anyway. Just wanna say that. I see that I'm in it, but I'm in it. I dunno. Doree

Doree : I am sorry?

Kate : It's fine. It's fine. It is what its, it's a metaphor for something larger and I'll just I'll work on that. Anyway. How are you over there? What's new?

Doree : I am fine today was the last day of preschool for Henry. Like not, not forever, but in his little class, like he moves up to the next class. He graduated his class.

Kate : Aw He's graduating.

Doree : He's graduating from like the two year old classroom and it's yeah. It's like it's I don't know. I mean, you know, you have kids it's it's it's emotional. And also it's just like interesting because like he, he like understands what's happening, but I think not like fully. And they did this, they did this really cute thing today where like the parents came for the end of um, class today and we all sang the goodbye songs. And then they had a little, so the, the class that he'll be in next year, our school is into different buildings on the same block. Um, and they did this little scavenger hunt for them to find the new building. And he was like, so into it, it was so sweet. Um, and they brought their family books over and dropped them off and they all got a flower <laugh> and like the other, the kids who are there now, like greeted them and it was like very, very sweet. Um, but yeah, he's like the first year of preschool is over. He's like a kid it's so weird.

Kate : Oh, what a sweet little baby. Well, it's it's I mean, I get it. It's wild, you know, everything feels like a big milestone and then it like reflects back where you are in your life, you know, like there's a little bit of just, oh my God, what? It's a lot.

Doree : Yeah. So, I mean, I know that this is only like the first of many, but um, it was, it was, it was moving.

Kate : Oh, that's very sweet Doree.

Doree : Yeah.

Kate : He's Becoming a, so he's a big Boy.

Doree : He is becoming a big boy and I took a picture of him in his classroom and I said, okay, Henry, I'm gonna take a picture of you. And he said cheese and like posed <laugh>, which is also a new thing that he started doing. And it's just like, he's just, you know, he's growing up, he's growing up. Yeah.

Kate : He's, he's a very charming little lad. I have to say. Like, I really enjoy these. I think maybe because like, you know, my kids are like so big and we're just like talking about like very adult things with Them That like, I miss this feeling of just like youngness.

Doree : Yeah.

Kate : You know, instead I'm like, let me talk to you about like your options for menstruating. You know, it's like, right. <laugh> What, when did this happen?

Doree : Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Anyway. Well Kate, should we take a little break and hear for some listeners

Kate : Doree? I would like honestly, nothing more in my life than to do exactly that.

Doree : Okay. Let's do that BRB.

Kate : So on a previous episode, I mentioned an email we received from a listener in Canada that made me cry.

Doree : Mm.

Kate : And I wanted to share it.

Doree : Okay. Let's hear it.

Kate : Share. It, went into the inbox and I found it. So here's the email we received.

Email: Hi Kate and Doree. I just wanted to send you and your American listeners, a note of love and solidarity from Canada. It has been so difficult to watch the collective despair. You are all feeling and that we Canadians very much share around the recent gun violence and Roe vs Wade leak. Keep going. Your Canadian pals are with you and support you in your activism and political involvement. Every step of the way we too are donating to progressive American advocacy organizations and talking about these issues in our home communities. As Audrey Lord said, I am not free while any woman is unfree. Even when her shackles are very different from my own, love your friends north of the border.

Kate : Okay. You know, I just wanna say, thank you again for this message. It came at a time when I needed to hear it.

Doree : Yeah.

Kate : And it made me personally feel less alone.

Doree : It is nice to know that we have their support.

Kate : You know, it also, I think sometimes, and I know that this is COVID at play, but like even with the connectivity of the internet and like he listen, like listening to podcasts and all the ways in which we like can commune. It still does feel very lonely sometimes. And there's just something comforting to me to know that like a Canadian is up there sending kind words

Doree : Totally.

Kate : And no pressure to this person, but you represent all of Canada to me. So that makes me feel even better. And you know what? I would also say back at you to anybody else, you know, we're with you.

Doree : Totally.

Kate : Well let's shift gears wildly

Doree : Okay. Let's do it.

Kate : Let's talk about in grown hairs and pimples.

Doree : Would you like me to read this one?

Kate : Yeah, take it away. I'm gonna curl up and just let your dot tone sooth me. <laugh>

Doree : All right. I had to pause the pod when Kat and dor were reading the letter about the pimple patch slash ingrown hair idea and how we should use face products on our body. I've been meaning to email this tip for a while. And this finally spurred me maybe two years ago, Kat mentioned that she uses pixie glot in her armpits to ward off Bo I have hidradenitis suppurativa. Do not Google it. Trust me. It causes all sorts of skin havoc, mostly in the form of incredibly painful cysts and pimples in the lymph node regions. Again, do not Google. Anyhoo I could feel one coming. And I remembered what kat said about pixie glow tonic thought it couldn't hurt and swiped a burgeoning cyst with what I now believe is magical stuff. The tonic not only reduced the swelling and pain, but I started using it regularly in affected areas. And I think it is preventing new episodes. So thanks for the rec kat. Love the show.

Kate : Okay. Now, first thing I need to say is when someone tells me twice not to Google something, I want even more to Google it.

Doree : Ah, yes. The human condition,

Kate : Right? Like, is this not the struggle now? Do you know what? This is den

Doree : You.

Kate : You pronounced it so well.

Doree : Oh, thank you. Well, you know what? I, I pre-read and said it out loud to myself in my head. I don't know if that is actually how it was pronounced, but I was like, this sounds like it's how it was pronounced. So you

Kate : You Said it so confidently that I was

Doree : Like, thank you, Kate. I appreciate you. So I have, but you know what? I will say Kate I did take this listener's um, advice and I did not Google this.

Kate : Well, I haven't Googled it, but I'm telling you that I'm doing it right now. Okay. It's a condition that causes lumps to form under the skin. Okay. Do I wanna look at images? Oh, oh, okay. Yep. Yeah. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Okay. <laugh> all right. Listener. You were right. I was wrong. Thank you for that.

Doree : Well,

Kate : First of all, this sounds like a challenging condition. I, I, I Actually Have gotten cysts in my lymph node regions, like in my groin. Have you ever had cysts there? Like in grown kind of

Doree : Yes. You know, I used to get them more and then I stopped getting for a while. And then I had one, not that long ago, like within the last few months. And I was like, what the hell is this? And I was like, oh,

Kate : Oh, it's one of those what?

Doree : This is, it's

Kate : One of these. Yeah. Like lymph node cysts.

Doree : Yeah. But I was able

Kate : To pop it. Its own non pop. Most satisfying.

Doree : Satisfying. Yeah.

Kate : Well, I mean, I have to say, I do think pixie glot is a magical product. I don't still wipe My armpits with it.

Doree : It is, it is a magical product.

Kate : I was on a, um, I was doing an Instagram live for a book club last night. And the host asked me what my like favorite all time serum was. And I named pixie glow tonic.

Doree : Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Kate : I think it's just, you know, it's like, I always have it around like some serums come and go. Some fancy serums come and go. But pixie glow tonic is always in my medicine cabinet

Doree : Mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative>

Kate : It's kind of like, I don't know if you had this, like my grandmother, daughter of immigrants. So she always kind of had like, you know, like my dad was remembering, he, she used to make him drink onion juice when he was sick, you know, she always had like, Like tools For healing and she always kept something called mentholatum around and used it for everything. And I feel like pixie glot to is my Mentholatum. Do you know what mentolatum is?

Doree : No.

Kate : It's like fixed vapor rub, but for grandmothers. Did you ever grow up with a product? Like did your grandparents or parents have like a, a, like a foolproof product that they basically like used as a catchall remedy?

Doree : No, I believe I have discussed that. Like my parents, I mean, we, like, obviously we went to the doctor, we took antibiotics, but there were like, there were very few medications or remedies in the house. Like if you needed an Advil. you would not find one in our home. Really? Yes. There was no, so cough syrup. There were no bandages. I mean, there were like bandaids, but like there wasn't, like, there was not a lot of stuff. There was no, you can ask my brother and, and sister for a confirmation. They will confirm this. There was just not like, there were no like pain relievers in the home.

Kate : That is hilarious. Are your parents still not like medicine? People?

Doree : No, they're not.

Kate : I mean, I think that's fine.

Doree : Yeah. It's just, it it's like, it's just funny. So like, no, there were no like remedies in our home. <laugh>.

Kate : like when you got period cramps, did you have to essentially figure that out on your own? Like how you,

Doree : I never took anything for them in high school.

Kate : You didn't, you just, just dealt with it.

Doree : I just soldiered on this.

Kate : I feel like this has shaped you in ways that you might not realize like that I'm serious. I guess that's a silly thing to say, but I mean it all right. Let's play this, uh, recommendation voicemail. Shall we?

Doree : Okay. Let's do it.

Voicemail: Hey, this is from Minnesota, just calling in response caller who is trying to grow longer stronger nails. This is actually a rec, I believe, from the forever 35 facebook group<Affirmative>. Um, but the OPI nail envy strengthener is amazing. It's a total game changer. It stays on great. It just looks like a little bit of a glossy, um, clear coat. Um, but it really strengthens my nails. It's amazing. I'm constantly using them as tools and, um, yeah, it, uh, it's really helped. They're thicker than they used to be. So anyway, it's about $18 a bottle, which is kind of pricey, but I think I'm on my like fourth or fifth bottle and I'll never be without it again. Thanks so much. Hope that helps. Bye.

Kate : Okay. Now I just want you to know, I can't find this anywhere Because obviously, you know, me woman on a quest for nails.

Doree : Yes. Yes. So you immediately went to look for it and you couldn't

Kate : Find immediately, even after I just gave a big speech about how I need to be satisfied with my nails as they are, I then was like time to go find this OPI nail envy and be <laugh>. Yeah. That's me in a nutshell. Wow. I feel like we've gotten this recommendation before. Does it really work? I've never had like, do, does it really work? I I'm not asking you. This is kind of just a broad,

Doree : This Is rhetorical.

Kate : Yes. This is a rhetorical question. Does it really work? Because.

Doree : does it really Work?

Kate : I I've tried so many like nail strengtheners over the decades that I've been alive.

Doree : Mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative> I guess there's only one way to find out,

Kate : Keep experimenting on my crumbling nails. Yep. Doree, let's take another break. When we come back, we've got a wreck and then a big question.

Doree : Okay. All right. We're back.

Kate : Doree

Doree : Yes. Kate,

Kate : This person texted us and they said,

Text Message: had to pause the pod to tell you petal from boy smells is the greatest candle of all time. It smells like standing in a freaking flower field, wearing a Sundress in mid spring.

Doree : You know, I have never bought a boy smells candle, but a few people have recommended them. And I am intrigued.

Kate : You know, I have never bought a boy smells candle either. In fact, I wanna know who, who is behind boy smells.

Doree : Do We know anything?

Kate : It's kinda a bad name.

Doree : I agree with you. I don't like it.

Kate : But like, I actually think the name is kind of turned me off from purchasing.

Doree : Yeah,

Kate : This is interesting. It says Magnolia night, blooming tubs and wild uranium fill the Headspace. While golden Amber, but truly an exotic Musk make for an intoxicating accord of base notes. I,

Doree : I mean, I would Try it. I know people who are obsessed with boy smells candles mm-hmm <affirmative> and I'm honestly not quite sure where to begin, but okay. This says that I'm just gonna read this story. They say they are packaged in pink and conceived beyond the gender Binary. Our full bodied, fragrances and intimate apparel make loving your identity, a daily ritual. Hmm. Interesting. Interesting. <laugh> okay. I mean, I still don't know who's behind old voicemails, but okay. I'm intrigued. Casey Musgraves has a boy smells candle called slow burner Oh really? All right. Okay. Okay. All right. If you're, uh, a boy smells, baby. Tell us what else that you like, and maybe we'll try some out.

Doree : All right.

Kate : I didn't know if you know, Doree that fans of voicemails call themselves voicemails babies.

Doree : <laugh>

Kate : Okay. Doree,

Doree : If they didn't, they do. Now

Kate : They do now. Yeah. We've just started that trend. we have a very long email with a deep question.

Email: I'm hoping you might be able to provide an objective opinion about a recent development slash challenge that has come up in my relationship. My boyfriend of seven ish months mentioned in the past that he has struggled with finances and had a pretty low period where he wasn't making enough money to make ends meet OMG. We need to pay journalists slash reporters more. And he accumulated a hefty amount of debt. When he brought this up a few months ago, it seemed like he was getting a repayment schedule under control, but that it was a major daily stressor. I should also note he struggles with ADHD and moved across the country and started a new job in the last 10 months. So he's got a lot going on. Fast forward to tonight. He's let me know. He's been quite stressed this week. So I asked him to come over and talk.

Email: He just left my apartment. After we discussed his debt situation, the main source of stress for a few hours. And I'm feeling overcome with uncertainty about his slash hour future and also guilty for feeling this way. Having some judgments about our compatibility because of his financial situation, it is worse than I had imagined. He has many thousands of dollars in debt and his debt has been sold to collection agencies who threaten to Sue. He is so, so ashamed of the situation. He does not have the cash to pay off the debt. So he is planning on getting a loan from his family, which he plans to pay off for the next three years. He mentioned he would probably need to get a second job to make ends meet. Seriously. We need to pay journalists more. This all feels like a lot. I'm 32, he's 31.

Email: And this is just not a situation. I thought I'd find myself in at this time in my life. I wanna go on vacations, not think twice about having a beer at our neighborhood bar and start to plan. IE save for a house and eventually kids with a partner who also wants that he shares this desire, but does not have the capacity to save for these things. Along with me now, understanding that every spare dollar of his will go to paying off debt for the next few years, makes me really uneasy. How do I know if I should stick it out? We are so compatible in so many ways and I love being with him. I'm just having a hard time with the huge constraints this would put on our relationship. I make decent money, but certainly not enough for the both of us. Up until now. I've been paying with, for the majority of our, of meals, et cetera. And I always assume that it would balance out, but now I don't, but now I know that it won't at least anytime soon, feeling very lost and at odds between wanting to be supportive and putting my needs first Would love. Love, love any advice on this? Thank you for everything.

Kate : Okay. Doree, what do you think? Yes.

Doree : Oh, I wanna know what you think.

Kate : I honestly don't know. I I'm a little bit, like, I think you have to love the whole person Debts and all mm-hmm <affirmative> and that if this is the person that you want to do, all those things with, like, he doesn't have the capacity to save for these things. I don't think, well, I mean, like he might be able to save, I don't know. I, I mean, paying off your debt then allows you to begin building savings and equity. So I, I think it's okay. That, that is what he is going to be doing. I guess I'm just not sure. I don't know. I don't know. Does a debt outweigh like being in love with somebody? I, , these are, this is a hard question because I hear what this person is saying. That's a lot, you know, and it does change. It does impact your own life. So I'm stuck on this one. This is finance is really, really, and I will say, and then I'll shut up. It is a really huge thing to consider because they can essentially break a relationship, like not seeing eye to eye on finances, on money, on investing, on saving all of that. If you are not on the same page, at least agreeing with like how you're gonna approach the situation, it really can destroy a relationship

Doree : Listener. This is so hard. I, I am not optimistic about the future of this relationship. Not because not because your boyfriend doesn't make a lot of money and has, you know, debt. My concern is kind of what Kate was saying. That you're really not on the same page about money. That's not to say that you couldn't be, but I think it will take a lot of work. I will also say that as you get older and you want to have a house and kids and like having money makes things a lot easier. That's, it's just the way it is. Like I'm, you know, I wish I, like, I wish I could be a romantic and be like, it doesn't matter. Love conquers all, but like from where I sit now at 45,

Kate : Yeah.

Doree : I just don't think that that is true anymore. I'm sure I will get a lot of shit for this. But like, I, you know, I don't know. I just feel like this is going, this is not going to go away. This is going to be a constant stressor. And like, if you are up for that and you are up for navigating that and you are up for dealing with it and, you know, just kind of knowing that that is going to be a part of your relationship probably for a very long time, then I would say, do what you need to do to make it work. If you are not up for it. That's okay. It's okay to not be up for it. It's okay to break up with him because of this. It is like, it just is. And like, I wish I wish the world were different, but we live in a country that has no social safety net and it's fucking hard. It's really fucking hard to not have money. And like, obviously a lot of people listening to this show do not have a lot of money and I'm sure people will be like, no, that's like, you're being too harsh. How could you say that? And like, that's, this is how I feel right now, living in this country with a child. And it's tough. It's tough.

Kate : Yeah. I mean, Doree, you make a really good point. And when you partner with somebody, you know, your finances are intrinsically connected. Even if you keep separate accounts, like they're, they, you are gonna be impacted, um, in that way. And I think you do make a good point. This is the reality and of, of our, where we live. And if saving like this listener does say like saving for vacations and planning for a house and a family, uh, and if that's really important to you, then, then maybe this person is not right for you at this time. That being said, they just had this first conversation. This, this partner had ne they had never really discussed his debt.

Doree : Does, is, is that a, a reddish flag for you though? I know they've only been together for seven months, but like, it sounds like they've gotten pretty serious. Is it? It it's like, I don't know. I can't tell,

Kate : Well, this

Doree : It's like, it's a little, it's like a little bit of a red flag to me. He was not that forthcoming about what was actually going on. Well, and it makes me wonder if there is, if there's actually more to the story that we still don't know,

Kate : I would just flag that the, this listener notes later on in, you know, in the paragraph that he is so, so ashamed of the situation, and there's so much shame associated with debt. And I know when I was, had some credit card debt, not many thousands, but some, it was shame. It was embarrassing. It was shameful. We it's, it's like the, our culture is so confusing because most people are operating from a place of debt because of, and, and yet there's so much shame surrounded surrounding it. Like, it's just the way we talk about money is just so fucked up. So I would, would not surprise me if this person was ashamed and didn't feel, wanna bring it up and was embarrassed. And so I think if this person is somebody you wanna be with consider this, the start of the conversation, not the, not the end, you know, now you know this about them. Well, you know, keep talking about it, you know, see what their plan is, tell them your concerns. Maybe you already did. But I do think like you also don't need to like jump the gun in the situation, so to speak, because it seems like you just had a really intense conversation and now you're processing. So I would say you don't need to like, make the leap from intense conversation to breaking up with them. I think there's more to be discussed and worked on together.

Doree : Yeah. Kate, I mean, I think I, I feel conflicted about this. <laugh> like, I think it's easy for me to say, like I said, from where I stand as like at 45 with a kid, like just, I have a different perspective on this, that it's harder for me to kind of put myself back in the place of someone who is 32 and has been dating someone for seven months and like has had these, this conversation. And like, I don't know. I like, maybe you're right. Like maybe this is maybe this is just the start of the conversation. And like, it does sound like he has a plan.

Doree : Um, and yeah, I just, I'm just, I'm thinking about this part in, um, Keith Sen's new book, Raising Rafi, which is about, um, their, his, his kid with my friend, Emily Gould, um, Rafi. And like, he was a very difficult baby and toddler. Um, and it's just kind of about their lives. And one thing that Keith says in the book is like, he never cared about money. They're. I mean, they're both writers and like, they kind of lived just not like they, they didn't have a lot of money. And he said he never cared about that until he had a kid and he saw how much easier it was to have a kid when you have money <laugh> in terms of like child care and just everything. And he said, that was really when it became clear to him, like why people wanna have money. And I think that's something that, like, we don't talk about that much, that like, you know, we love to say, well, money doesn't buy happiness.

Doree : Like that is true, but it does make things easier in a lot of ways. And so I don't think that we should like sugarcoat that. I think we should be like, realistic about that. So I just think, you know, as my, as my old therapist, like to say, this is all data, this is all good data that you now have. And you need to think about what is important to you and how you wanna kind of move forward and live your life. And like, look, I'm not gonna tell you, you, you have to break up with him, but I just think this is, this is good data for you. That's it.

Kate : I love how you're framing that. It's data,

Doree : It's data, it's data.

Kate : It's good information.

Doree : It's good information.

Kate : This is a very sensitive topic. And I would love to hear from other people about it.

Doree : Mm-hmm

Kate : <affirmative> lovingly if we can, you know, I mean, it's, it is, it's a really sensitive prickly topic.

Doree : Yeah, totally.

Kate : Well, thank you all for trusting us with your questions.

Doree : Yeah,

Kate : We appreciate it.

Doree : We do.

Kate : And we will talk to you later.

Doree : Bye.

 
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