Mini-Ep 309: Nothing Wrong With A Rage Walk
Kate deals with a lingering Covid cough and Doree gets her skin lasered! Then, listeners send in their thoughts and reactions in the wake of the recent mass shootings, share a story about wrinkles to shock a facialist, and wonder about personal style vs trends.
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Transcript
Kate: Hello, and welcome to forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer
Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: No, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: And this is a mini episode where we're gonna hear from you, share your comments and your thoughts and answer your questions to the best of our ability,
Doree: Indeed. Uh, but please do remember we are podcast hosts, not experts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: We love and want to hear from you. If you wanna leave us a voicemail or send us a text, our number is 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0. And our email is forever 35 podcast, gmail.com
Doree: And just, uh, a reminder you can visit our website forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show. You can also go to our shop, my shelf, where we have stuff arranged, uh, a little bit more thematically at shopmyshelf.us slash five. Follow us on Twitter, even though we don't really tweet, uh, at forever35pod on Instagram podcast, join the five Facebook group, the password is serums, and do sign up for our newsletter podcast.com/newsletter.
Kate: And just a friendly reminder that we are hosting a giving circle where through in, uh, oh, what's the word I'm looking for in relation with oh, partnered it's, uh, part of the state's project. They focus on local elections and all the money that we raise together. As a giving circle, as a group will go towards either keeping state legislatures blue, or helping to shift them, uh, toward Democrats. So it's been a great, it's been a really wonderful experience. We've had so many listeners donate. You can donate any amount, throw in those $1 bills, those $2 donations we are here for them.
Doree: Um, Kate, you wanna hear something really cool?
Kate: Yeah, obviously. Yes. A hundred percent.
Doree: We have raised over $11,000. I know.
Kate: Look at you listeners. Thank you so much. That Mo that like brings me the joy that I need today because boy, is it gloomy out there?
Doree: Mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative>.
Kate: That's so amazing. All right, well, let's keep it going.
Doree: Yeah, let's do it. Let's let's get to 20 let's to thousand. Okay.
Kate: Okay. Well, there, it will be a link in the show notes for our giving circle, and you can find more info about it on our Instagram. Well, let's take it away Doree, and you need to give us a play by play of what happened to your skin today, because you have an actual skin update.
Doree: I do. It's very exciting. Um, so I decided that I wanted to get the age spots on my face, removed with a laser, and I decided to do it at my dermatologist's office. Um, and I went today. So the first thing that they have you do is you have to apply a numbing cream on your face an hour before you an hour before your appointment. And then you have to cover your face with plastic wrap.
Kate: Sorry, what? So
Doree: Yes.
Kate: What,
Doree: So you,
Kate: Did you get little like nose holes? I know you're gonna tell us. Okay.
Doree: So I like slather and they say to like, put the cream on like really thick, like they say, like, like you're icing a cake. So I'm like putting on this super thick cream. And then I put The seran wrap on and I, I did, I cut like a nose hole in a mouth hole and eye holes. And then I, and then I put sunglasses on and I drove to the dermatologist.
Kate: Did you take a selfie?
Doree: Yes, I did.
Kate: Oh my God. Okay. Thank God. Send that to me immediately.
Doree: Um, and then when I got to the dermatologist, I put a mask on
Kate: <laugh> Doree
Doree: Over this whole situation
Kate: Need to see this. I don't even care about the lasers. I am hung up on Saran-face,
Doree: Face. Yeah. I was just like, you know what? I was like, I feel like people in Los Angeles have seen it all.
Kate: Oh
Doree: Yeah, no one is gonna bat an eye. And in fact nobody did. Um, and then, um, I went in and did the laser. I put the little things, you know, little goggles on, on my eyes.
Kate: Mm-hmm <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative> um,
Doree: and then she just like, she just started zapping my face
Kate: And, and it feels okay.
Doree: It feels okay now. Yeah. Um, she used an epic hair laser, which I guess is also used for hair removal. So she was like, and I could like smell the hair being like cringed. Um, and I could still see like little red pulses, I would say like the numbing cream certainly did not make me completely numb. Like I could still feel some of it. Um, and like, parts of it were more painful than others, but, you know, I survived and I don't have an especially high pain threshold. So if I could do it, I feel like anyone can,
Kate: And do you have to go back or more sessions needed?
Doree: So she was like, wait till after the summer. Um, because you know, you could get more sun spots and she's like, but do try to be like, very careful about being the sun. Like, you know, that's the thing it's like, I, I feel like I am pretty careful.
Kate: Yeah. You're
Doree: But I still had like quite a bit of sun damage to, to deal with. So I guess I'm gonna have to be even more careful. I was like, I do stand with sun, but I do play tennis. And like, you know, that is, that is a pretty sunny situation.
Kate: And you're already in like advisor while you're playing and your sunscreen and
Doree: Yeah. So I don't know what else I could do. Um, and you can't, I don't think I could really wear like a super wide brimmed hat because I wouldn't really be able to see. Um, so I don't know. I guess I could, I could see if I could change the time that I play, try to find a better sunscreen
Kate: And lasers and tennis really do not mix.
Doree: No, they don't. So what happens is the spots get darker, um, and you, like, they already are darker on my face and they'll get like black and I think fall off
Kate: <laugh> wow. Like little scabs
Doree: Almost. I think so. Yeah.
Kate: Okay. Okay.
Doree: So, yeah, but I, I think like I have, I have skin because I'm pale, my skin is like a good candidate for laser. Um, and because I have dark hair and pale skin, I like, I'm a good candidate for laser hair removal because now the lasers have gotten better, but like the original laser hair removal lasers, like if you didn't have pale skin and dark hair, they like couldn't do it on you
Kate: So annoying.
Doree: Yeah. So,
Kate: Well, I am like really excited for the results of this experience.
Doree: Um, thank you so much.
Kate: How Long did the overall like lasering take?
Doree: It was very quick. It was maybe 10 minutes. Okay.
Kate: So The saran wrapping is like the longest part of the process, the waiting for the numbing cream to kick in, essentially.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm I cannot wait to hear when I, when, when are you expected to see like quote unquote results right after they fall off? Or is it
Doree: I think so. I think it'll be like within the week.
Kate: Ooh, doree very excited. Okay.
Doree: Yeah. So we'll see.
Kate: All right. Save some of those scabs.
Doree: Certainly not gross.
Kate: I know. I just have to say it
Doree: Yuck. Did you though? I
Kate: Know. I, I guess I didn't, but I did still say it.
Doree: Um, Kate, what is going on with you?
Kate: Truly not much is happening here other than like, I can't, my COVID cough is not going away and that's aggravating. Um, you know, Amy Schumer got COVID and was doing this whole bit about like how she was the first woman in the world to get COVID, which is a little bit how I feel where it's like, oh my God, my COVID my cough. It's like, Kate people have been dealing with this since like, oh my God, probably the end of 2019, realistically. So like, you're literally the like 8000000000th person to get. COVID nothing about my experience has been unique in any way compared to anybody else.
Doree: That's so funny.
Kate: Yeah. So like, I, I'm trying to, to be conscious of that, like one, I, I am fine and which is, I'm very grateful for. And two, like, this is redundant at this point, but the cough is not going away and that's annoying. And you know, I have received suggestions on what to do. I'm gonna, I'm contacting my doctor again today just to check in about it. Um, and I just was like, what are some things I can do, like at home to help it? Um, which has been interesting to kind of read about, because I don't know, coughs are just fucking weird and annoying, like aggravating.
Kate: So that's where I'm at. The other thing I did do today, Doree is I started a couch to 5k running program on an app.
Doree: Yeah. Tell me about this.
Kate: I guess I just, I don't know. I was just like, I need, I need an activity that has a point. Like, I need an activity that has a goal at the end of it.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: For me right now, I just, I, I think I need the mental distraction. I have been really in my feelings. Uh, like I've been really just kind of dealing with like a lot of yucky feelings lately. Mm. So I needed to channel my energy to something and I I'm in a Phish running group on Facebook.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: Uh, they meet up at Phish shows and they go for runs. And I was like, this sounds really fun. Like, this is a kind of group I wanna participate in, but I haven't really been running. So then I was like, you know what, I'm gonna start from the beginning. I'm gonna, I downloaded. It's like, uh, it's a couch to 5k app. There are many of them in any app store you go in, but mine is like C to 5k. And I did the first run today. It's a real nice gentle, like run walk program. And I was also thinking about registering for a 5k run toward the end of the summer. So I can kind of just like put this somewhere. Um, yeah, I don't know. I just, I was trying to just figure out like running is something I can do. It's accessible for me personally at home. Or if I'm traveling this summer, I just figured it would be like something like I just needed. Honestly, I just needed some structure because I was, I've been in a little bit of like a mental spiral lately. I think it's, you know, a lot of it has to do with, um, the state of the world and the state of our country. And then just my own personal things that I'm constantly battling.
Kate: I dunno, I just needed a thing.
Doree: No, I fully hear you. I mean, I think I was saying this the other day. Like, I, I do not have enough things and especially I told, I think, did I mention on the podcast that my, the person I play tennis most regularly with has broken her toe?
Kate: Oh God.
Doree: Yeah. So like, <laugh>, we already hadn't played for like a month because of family being in town and holidays and us going away and like, blah, blah, blah. Um, and then she broke her toes. So like, obviously that sucks for her and it sucks for us, um, because we can't play and I do have other people to play with, but it's like, they're not as consistent. Um, yeah. So that is sort of frustrating. Um, I've been doing some yoga on the Peloton app, just, you know, what, to be perfectly honest. Like I haven't been in the mood to ride the Peloton lately mm-hmm and so I think I just need a break from that. Um, and so I don't know, I'm also kind of looking for something else.
Kate: Well, if you wanna do this, I wanna train for a 5k run with me.
Doree: I kind of do. Um, but it's like another outside thing.
Kate: I know that's right. We've gotta get you inside. Which
Doree: I kind sucks because I like, I like being outside. Yeah. But I do feel like I need to be a little bit more careful about the sun. I don't know.
Kate: Gymnastics.
Doree: Definitely not.
Kate: <laugh>. What about like a martial arts class actually. Have you ever done martial arts? I feel like you would, that would be very like,
Doree: As like a child. I did, you know, I would
Kate: Actually a lot of friends who do it. Sorry, go ahead.
Doree: I would actually like to, um, do a dance class. Yeah. I have a friend. I have a friend who goes to a dance class pretty regularly, but it's, it's all on the east side, which like is not super convenient for me. And like, I just don't love, I don't love driving half an hour each way for like an hour long class. You know what I mean?
Kate: <laugh> mm-hmm, <affirmative>, mm-hmm, <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative>
Doree: So I dunno. And then, you know, the whole like indoors thing and, and COVID you don't. Yeah, so I don't know.
Kate: Well, Doree, we should take a break. And when we come back, we're gonna hear, hear from some listeners about our discussion on previous episode, uh, about the recent, um, mass shootings in the news. So we'll be right back after the break.
Kate: So we received messages from listeners, uh, about the conversation that we were having in the wake of the shooting at the elementary school in Uvalde, Texas, uh, as well as the shooting in the grocery store in Buffalo. Um, so a listener texted us and they just simply wrote.
Text Message: hot girl walks had become rage girl walks because I live in the us.
Kate: and I just thought, yeah, me too, me too listener
Doree: Mm-hmm <affirmative>,
Kate: You know, there's nothing wrong with a rage walk.
Doree: No, there really isn't.
Kate: I think a lot of us use exercise to kind of get out the physical sensation of these awful feelings of frustration and despair and rage. Yeah. Not get them out, but just like work on 'em.
Doree: process them,
Kate: process them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We want, we don't, we don't necessarily want to get rid of them. Right. We don't wanna become apathetic or complacent.
Doree: No, we don't.
Kate: Yeah. Rage, rage, girl walks are the new hot girl walks.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: Ugh. I know. Ugh. But yes. Get, get those, get those walks going. They might help.
Doree: Uh, well, Kate, should we hear a couple voicemails that we got?
Kate: Yes, please, Doree.
Voicemail: Hi, Kate and Doree just listened to your Friday morning, many episode. Um, and I wanted to bringing up what happened day. I know your self podcast also, and also part of self care is being real with ourselves when things are hard and it's hard. Um, when kids are killed the other day, my three year olds came home from daycare and said they had a lockdown drill where they had to hide in the, and I asked him why did you do this. And he said if bad guys come and threaten the school. And I just had to cry because I can't believe this is the world or rather the country that our kids live in and that we live in. And thank you for sharing the resources you did. I definitely, uh, joined mom's demand action and every town and called my state representative. And I'm so angry and this needs to change. It's not okay. And on one lighter note, I wanted to recommend a various topic, a mint candle to extra it's called extravert V E R T from the candle company Boy Smells. It's really good. It has meant big daffodil, Cypress Juniper. It's it's really good. It's a little pricey for candles. I think that the, the mid size is like $36, but I think it's worth it. Anyway. Light your candles Screw the NRA, We're in this together. Thank you.
Kate: So truth in this voicemail,
Doree: mm-hmm.
Kate: listener you. I appreciated the fact that I think you reflected our, our podcast back to us by talking about something as serious as gun violence, and then transitioning to talking about a candle. That is, I, I feel like what we do here, and I appreciate you being on the level. Uh, and uh, I have, I have children in elementary school and they do lockdown drills and it's incredibly, uh, harrowing and it's really hard. And I don't like, I don't know how, I mean, God, God bless our teachers and our school administrators because they are in a, they are in a different kind of hell than I am. Um, and that candle sounds great. I've not tried a boy smells. Have you tried boy smell story.
Doree: Mm-hmm.
Kate: people love boy smells the brand, but I haven't, I haven't smelled a boy smell.
Doree: Yeah, me neither.
Kate: All right. Uh, maybe I'll get one once I'm done with my 50 other mint candles. <laugh> all right. Uh, we had another voicemail we wanted to share.
Voicemail: Hi, Doree and Kate. Um, I'm a long time listener and I've sent in a few messages over the past couple years. Uh, and I'm, I love your podcast and I just respond to episode you reaction to horrible shooting in playing some work and around that self care. And the things you talk about are so crucial for dealing with these horrible, horrible situations. I mean, especially for those of us who aren't personally involved, I mean, we have this grief and stress and anxiety and the things we do just to process that in our body, for me dancing, yoga, um, that helped so much. And it took me well into my thirties to figure out that I needed that. Right. I needed those, those activities to really help me just, just process and, you know, sitting with the grief and sitting with the hurt. It's not frivolous to then take time to have a bath, especially with things like epson salts, which physiologically actually help with your chemical balance in your body and, uh, you know, you know, there's so many other things you can add to your bath or, you know, washing your face. Like we, we know that these things have a benefit and, you know, helping people find those ways to, to really like not, I mean, to not ignore what's going on in the world, it's not ignoring the things that makes it make us anxious or grieve or stressed out it's to help us live with it, right. To live with it without it, um, you know, just stopping us from being able to, to live, you know what I mean? Like it's, if we need to be able to process in order to be able to keep moving in the world. So just wanted to, to make that known to you. And, and I hope you continue with the, with the podcast, obviously, I think you will, but you know, just that expression of what, what even is the point. There's a point it's very valuable point. So thank you.
Kate: You have to take of yourself whilst also not losing sight of, um, the things that are, that we are fighting for.
Doree: Yeah. I think that's a good way of putting it.
Kate: Right. Um, and I think also like recognizing the privileges that allow us to be able to practice self care with while things like this are happening, you know, that's something I'm,
Doree: mm-hmm, <affirmative>,
Kate: I'm trying to consciously reflect on as a personally, but yeah. I mean, don't stop dancing. Don't stop reading fun books. Don't stop washing your, I mean, you can stop washing your face if you want, but you know, if it feels good, keep it up, baby.
Doree: All right. Um, Kate, should we take another break?
Kate: We have to that's we're required by law, so let's do it.
Doree: Okay. Let's do it
Kate: Doree. We got a very sweet anecdote from, uh, a listener that I thought we could just share. They wrote,
Email: I loved your discussion about aging on the last mini app and how we've been socialized to understand our proximity, to youthfulness as both a compliment and a goal. I wanted to share a formative moment in my life when I was about 16, my mom and I went to a local spa for facials. My mom, who was in her fifties at the time, emerged from her treatment and the facialist hurried after her carrying a fancy glass bottle of who knows what you need this. She explained to my mom, you have wrinkles are on your eyes and mouth. My mom laughed and said, yes, I do. And I've earned every single one. The facialist was visibly caught off guard and their interaction stays with me to this day.
Kate: May we all carry that with us? I love this.
Doree: I love this so much.
Kate: My last you
Doree: Thank you for sharing this with us.
Kate: Yeah. Also just love saying mom, instead of mom. I just wanna point that out. This listener wrote mom, M U I know that in many other English speaking countries, they use mum. And I just think it's very sweet.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: Yeah. I mean your mom's right. You know, there's a, there's a badge of honor that comes with getting to like live on through the world. So amen to your mother. I hope she rejected the fancy bottle or maybe she didn't, maybe she can call in and recommend it.
Doree: Um, yeah. I mean, whatever she did. Um, okay.
Kate: Doree, why don't you read this final email to us?
Doree: Okay.
Email: Hi, Kate and Doree. I had some questions on defining your personal style and would love your thoughts. I'm starting to go into the office every once in a while, meeting people out, more, going to events and traveling like a lot of others. And I started to wonder if all my clothes, which are literally collecting dust are outdated, or if I still even like them after all, it has been two years. And I don't really have any idea what people are wearing. This led me to wonder if I should even care about what is trendy. I'm trying to be more aware of my environmental impact and more thoughtful about my consumption. It seems antithetical to let trends dictate my wardrobe, but at the same time, I don't think I have a personal style that would dictate my wardrobe either. My questions are, do you think you have a personal style and how would you define it? What helped you define what it is? Do you care about trends? Has there been a past trend that, that you got into that you still wear now? Thanks. Thanks in advance. And thanks so much for the pod. It provides multiple highlights throughout my week.
Kate: Do you have a personal style?
Doree: I feel like this is like the endless, my endless quest.
Kate: You mean like the, like you're Indiana Jones and you're on a journey to find personal style.
Doree: Maybe I should just dress like Indiana Jones.
Kate: <laugh> I mean, why not?
Doree: Nothing matters. That would be an option.
Kate: Yeah. With you. Like, I think I have a, of what I want my personal style to be, but executing it and actually pulling it. It doesn't happen. And the other thing that I, I do think is that I find the idea of personal style kind of limiting in that. And I like these suggestions of like, you look at these nine different styles and then you pick the three that most resonate with you, and then you like name your style, blah, blah, blah. But like, I also feel like pigeonholing ourselves. Uh, I don't know. It doesn't like, it, it, I feel like it might limit me in, in a way, which I don't want. So I don't know. I, I will tell you that I've started following someone on TikTok. Who's a stylist and they do like closet consultations. And I thought about hiring them to help me figure out my personal style.
Doree: You could,
Kate: I might,
Doree: You know, it's funny. I, um, I offer like a event. I, I, um, when, on my shop, my shelf, like you can hire me to do a consultation. I don't do closet revamps. I just will help you like find an outfit for an event. And someone, um, a couple days ago sent one in and they were looking for a dress for their mom's, um, wedding. And one of the questions that I ask is like, who are your like, style icons? And the person said that I was <laugh> one of them. Oh, did. And I was like, that's so sweet. And also I like, I don't feel like I have, I don't think maybe I don't say style icon, but it's like, whose personal style do you like or something like that. And they, and they said, me and I was just like, okay, well, thank you. I'll take that.
Kate: Wait. You know what we haven't discussed, which we'll have to discuss on another episode in like full detail is our journey to the new kids on the block concert.
Doree: Oh my God. I know I wrote a little bit about it in my newsletter today, but we, we definitely need to do like a full breakdown of it.
Kate: Well, the reason I bring it up is because you bopped on out of your house in an adorable outfit and I loved it. And I, I felt like it, like, I, I feel like I've seen your personal style come through recently. And that to me was just like a great, it was such a, a cute look on you. Doree was in a hooded, like color blocked hooded, sweatshirt jeans, and her platform, Nike air max sneakers. And she just looked so cute.
Doree: Aw, thanks Kate.
Kate: I mean, you really did. I commented on it cuz you just looked like it was like put together but casual, but like you could go out in it and be comfortable and you clearly had a style and a point of view.
Doree: Wow, thank you. Well, and I also do just wanna point out that the sweatshirt I was wearing, I got on posh mark. So, you know, talking about trying to consume more ethically. I do try to buy stuff on Poshmark. Um,
Kate: Me too.
Doree: I don't always succeed, but you know, I, I try. Um, well thank you so much, Kate. I actually, you know, it's funny. I, I try to, I try to put on outfits where I like feel like myself.
Kate: Mm.
Doree: Which is like obviously a very sort of like slippery <laugh> thing, you know? Um, but the outfit I wore to the concert, I really, I did. I felt like myself.
Kate: I love that so much. Well, I'm curious if there to answer this listener's question, do we care about trends and has there been a past trend that you got into that you still wear now?
Doree: Well, I feel like me finally buying Nike air maxes was succumbing to a trend.
Kate: Yeah. I definitely succumb to trends and I feel like I come to them late and it's not like, I'm not like the cool trend setter. I'm like the person I'm the cerulean blue sweater in the devil wears product. You know what I mean? Like I'm at the end of the line, which is fine. Um, and I do care about trends. Like I definitely have stopped wearing skinny jeans. Like they eventually got uncomfortable and hot and like, I I'm, I'm on board with loosening up our jeans again. Am I wearing like juncos which I literally have seen teens in hell no, you look ridiculous. Like been there, done that. My friends. Oh gosh. Um, but like sometimes some of the trends I avoid, there's a lot of like shoulder holes a few years back or like right now there's a lot of like one strap, tiny tank tops. Have you noticed
Doree: This? Yes. Yes.
Kate: What the fuck is that? Fuck. Whoever thought that was a good idea. No,
Doree: I mean,
Kate: Whose boobs are held up by one strap?
Doree: Not, I mean, literally not mine <laugh>
Kate: No. So like I'm gonna avoid that.
Doree: Yeah. Um, you know, I, I actually, I wrote a little bit about this in my book, um, that like when you are, you know, when you're a teenager or a young adult, like it is it's easier and it is more fun, I think, to kind of go along with trends and like try on different sort of sartorial persona.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: If you will. Um, but then at least for me personally, like as I got older, I feel like I I've like settled into a look and then I will kind of like, like round it out with a few trendy pieces. Like the Nikes, for example,
Kate: mm-hmm, <affirmative>, mm-hmm, <affirmative>, mm-hmm <affirmative>.
Doree: and the sweatshirt. Um, but like the, the, the, the foundation of my closet and my style doesn't change, but I, I will like add a few little trendy things here and there, but I'm not going like, full on, like I'm not revamping my whole wardrobe. I like to go along with a trend
Kate: Sense. Yes. And I think there is a reliance on fast fashion for most of us, if we want to keep constantly revamping our closets and that is not good for humanity or the world. So if we can limit our reliance on fast fashion though, I understand why it is appealing. Certainly the price point, um, and accessibility on that regard. But I mean, it's tricky, a lot of, uh, a lot of complex, like connections when it comes to fashion. I would, I would just suggest, um, listening to our episode with Aja Barber or reading her book and following her on Instagram, she just does such a great job of truly like modeling conscious fashion.
Doree: Yes. I agree with that.
Kate: Well, Doree per use, it's been a journey and a half over here
Doree: And a half
Kate: And a half. Um, listen, we appreciate everybody who reaches out to us. Thank you as always. Yep. And we will, we'll give you that. N K O T B recap in a few days.
Doree: All right, Bye.