Episode 378: Don’t Leave Home Without Your Sunbrella with Mari Yamamoto
Actor and writer Mari Yamamoto (Pachinko, Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, Rental Family) joins Doree and Elise to discuss her new film, Rental Family, and how it opens the conversation about the loneliness crisis in the digital age. Plus, they get into Mari and Elise’s time together in Tokyo, her deep commitment to the parasol as a sun shade, and why she went from being a reporter to being an actor multihyphenate.
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Transcript
The transcript for this episode is AI generated.
Doree Shafrir (00:10):
Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.
Elise Hu (00:17):
And I'm Elise Hu and we are just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Doree Shafrir (00:21):
And we have one of Elise's old friends on today.
Elise Hu (00:24):
She's not just one of my old friends because we don't just let anybody come onto the show.
Doree Shafrir (00:28):
It's
Elise Hu (00:29):
True. Though I will say some of my oldest friends, like my fifth grade bestie would be amazing. She's hilarious and one of my big cultural influences. But today we have on the show Mari Yamamoto, another shining light whose last name is Yamamoto in our lives. But yes, she is an actor, a writer, formerly, briefly a journalist. I think she studied art when she was in college and is starring in a big movie that's coming out at the end of this week called Rental Family with Brendan Frazier. Perhaps you've heard of him.
Doree Shafrir (01:11):
You know what, Elise? I have heard of him.
Elise Hu (01:15):
So we're going to get to that conversation.
Doree Shafrir (01:18):
I also just want to note that early on in the show, we did have my fifth grade bestie on who was not a famous person. No.
Elise Hu (01:25):
Way. Oh, maybe we should do a little series.
Doree Shafrir (01:29):
Yeah. So if you want to have your fifth grade bestie on, we could. We could do that. We also had my sister on.
Elise Hu (01:35):
Siblings would be rad. Roger Hugh is full of stories. I always say Roger Hugh is the more extroverted Hugh. And then people are like, "What? What are you talking about? "Nly what? He's the one who likes to talk to strangers more than me. What? And he makes people laugh. Yes. Because Roger always said growing up that I was cold compared to him. I was the cooler. Not cool like as in-
Doree Shafrir (02:01):
Okay. I have a question. Are your parents really extroverted?
Elise Hu (02:04):
My mom is very social. My mom's a party girl. Yeah. My mom is one of those ladies who is always hosting parties and it takes her lots. It's like she has excellent liver function or something because it takes her lots of beers to get drunk. So she can go out and stay out. And my dad is a lot more just mellow, chill. But he can totally roll with her hosting all the time. He can hang. Yeah, he can hang. He's just like, "Oh, yep. We're having people over tonight." But we had people over growing up as a kid all the time. It was like, oh, mom decided to have a dance party in the basement and mom decided to have a karaoke contest. And she's very social. My brother- Crazy. Yes. My brother is neurodiverse. He's neurospicy, ADHD. And so much fun after we stopped fighting all the time.
(03:00)
As little kids, we just fought all the time and I found him to be insufferable because I had eldest daughter energy and I was just turning my nose up at my brother all the time. But once we were in college, I think, I was just like, "Oh my gosh, this guy is the funniest person I know.
Doree Shafrir (03:18):
" Aw, I love that.
Elise Hu (03:20):
Yeah. He's great. That's
Doree Shafrir (03:22):
Really cool.
Elise Hu (03:23):
Yeah. If siblings come back on the show, then we'll have to call Roger.
Doree Shafrir (03:28):
Yeah.
Elise Hu (03:29):
Yeah. So anyway, let's catch up a little bit. Is tennis over?
Doree Shafrir (03:32):
Elise. What? Tennis is never over. Oh, right. How could I forget? How could you forget? We've been through this. I mean, the most intense tennis thing is over. Nationals is done and that was truly nuts. So it's a little more chill right now, but we are not done quote unquote. There will be a little lull between middle of December to first week of January.
Elise Hu (04:07):
Okay.
Doree Shafrir (04:08):
So I was captain of multiple teams this season and between captaining multiple teams and going to nationals, I feel like I was stretched very thin. So I'm just going to captain one team next season and I am happy about that. So yeah.
Elise Hu (04:31):
Are you going to play two levels like you did? Because previously you were playing on a three team, like a level three team and a level two, 2.5 team. Are you just going to settle on one?
Doree Shafrir (04:41):
I mean, I should be bumped to 30. And I think at least for this season, I will just play on 3O. My coach really wants me to play on a three five team. He has like a whole longterm plan for me.
Elise Hu (04:59):
Oh,
Doree Shafrir (05:00):
That's so good. It's very sweet. It's very sweet. So I think maybe after winter season, I will see if there's like a three five team that I can join. I don't think I will join the three five team that is like affiliated with my 30 team because I wouldn't get any playing time if I joined that team. So there's no real point in joining a three five team if you're not going to play. So I have to find a more chill three five team, I think.
Elise Hu (05:29):
This playing time thing, I finally understand. I didn't understand until really this club recruiting process that I went through with Ava because there are parents who just want to focus on playing time alone. And then there are other parents who really want to focus on like elite squads for their kids.
Doree Shafrir (05:47):
Yes.
Elise Hu (05:47):
But if you do put your kid on an elite squad, but they're not elite or at the same level as the rest of the kids on the elite squad, then they're not getting the same playing time. Ava actually said to me, she felt like, okay, she joined a much higher level club this year and she was like, "I don't think I'm ready. I think I need to get caught up. She feels like she doesn't know the rotations as well." And so I think it was a relief to her. They played their first tournament last weekend and I ... God bless technology because I was out at TED in Atlanta and I got to watch all of the games streamed because some very dedicated parents was streaming it in the Facebook group. He like just planted his camera on a corner and streamed it all. Yeah.
(06:34)
So yeah, one of the folks on your tennis team could totally do this for y'all at some point so all the husbands can watch if they want. And I was able to
Doree Shafrir (06:42):
Kind of catch it. That's what they would want to do.
Elise Hu (06:44):
Rob is a big supporter of your team.
Doree Shafrir (06:47):
Rob is a big supporter of my team. Rob came to support my team. It was very sweet. I think even like Rob was like, whoa, I was not expecting this intensity. Level of
Elise Hu (06:59):
Intensity. He did say this. Anyway, the playing time thing. Yeah. So Ava, they played, I don't know, six volleyball sets total at the tournament and she didn't play at all the first out of the six sets. And she was sort of like, I was somewhat relieved because it was kind of intense to go into that situation. First tournament, new club. And she kind of understood her place and that she still had room to grow. And I feel awesome about that. I feel like this was the right decision to put her in a place that was like a little bit hard for her. The degree of difficulty meant that she has to catch up. So long as it doesn't discourage her, which I don't think it has. Right. Yeah. Interesting. Anyway, that's all happening. So in our interview coming up, you're going to hear Mari talk about Jake.
(08:00)
She's referring to Jake Adelstein, who is currently staying at the Hugh Hideaway. He is an author who's probably most well known for Tokyo Vice, which was a nonfiction story of his years as a journalist covering the Yakuza, the mob of Japan. And then Tokyo Vice has turned into an HBO Max show. Sorry, Max, and then back to just HBO Max.
Doree Shafrir (08:25):
Now back to HBO. Is it back?
Elise Hu (08:27):
Yeah, I think it's HBO Max. Anyway, so he is Jake's on of the show that he gets played by Ansel Elgort. But Jake is the reason why I got to meet today's guest, Mariama Moto. They were both live interpreting for me when I was Japan correspondent for NPR and excellent, excellent live interpreters.
Doree Shafrir (08:49):
So cool.
Elise Hu (08:50):
Jake actually said, "You're going to need a woman with a woman's voice to actually do it because you're going to be speaking to all these Japanese old ladies and you don't want me to be the voice." And he was like, "And then Mari has this beautiful slightly British accent from her time that she was in London." And I can't remember why she was in London. She's such a pretty voice. Yeah, she's very calming. She's a beautiful person, beautiful soul.
Doree Shafrir (09:16):
All right. Well, before we get to Mari, just a reminder that our website is forever35podcast.com. And I also just want to note that we are moving our newsletter over to Patreon. So if you are a Patreon subscriber, you will already be getting it. If you are not, head over to patreon.com/forever35 and you can sign up at the free tier and get our newsletter. You can shop our favorite products at shopmy.us/forever35. Follow us on Instagram at Forever35Podcast and you can call or text us at 781-591-0390 and email us at forever35podcast@gmail.com. Elise, do you want to introduce Mari?
Elise Hu (10:01):
I am so delighted to. Mari Yamamoto was born in Japan. She grew up in London and in Tokyo. She's bilingual in Japanese and English, though we don't get to hear it in this interview. I can attest though that she is quite bilingual. She has a BA in international relations from ICU Tokyo and studied acting at the Lee Strasburg Institute and Film Institute in New York for two years. She was a member of The Bats at the Flea Theater in Tribeca, New York. I had no idea that she was. That's cool. She's performed in various off, off Broadway shows and now works internationally appearing in films made in the US, Greece, Singapore, Japan, and the Czech Republic. She is known for her roles in Apple TV's Pachinko and Monarch Legacy of Monsters. She helped write Tokyo Vice and is starring in an upcoming movie called Rental Family.
Doree Shafrir (10:57):
I enjoyed rental family. Just want to state that for the record.
Elise Hu (11:00):
Yes. Dori describes it as poignant.
Doree Shafrir (11:04):
We will say no more. Say no more. I know when I was putting together some questions about the movie, it's one of those movies that is a little bit hard to talk about without spoilers.
Elise Hu (11:16):
Yeah. You could hear Mari sort of grappling with that too.
Doree Shafrir (11:19):
Yeah. Even stuff that feels like it's at the beginning sort of feels like a spoiler. So I was really trying to come up with stuff that would be about the movie, but also not really reveal too much about the movie. So anyway, I recommend the movie and we are going to take a short break and we will be right back with Mari. We'll be right
Elise Hu (11:42):
Back. Mari Yamamoto, one of my old friends. Welcome to Forever35.
Mari Yamamoto (11:55):
Thank you for having me. Hi. Hi, hi. Hello.
Elise Hu (12:00):
Well, we start all of our interviews with the same question, and I'd love to hear your take on this. What are you doing lately that you would consider self-care?
Mari Yamamoto (12:10):
Whoa. That's problematic that nothing comes to mind. No. Wow. Being less apologetic about everything, which is sort of very Japanese of me. When you catch yourself, you're actively rewiring. Even if it's not just apologizing, if you're just catching these little habits, I think you're rewiring. So I think it's self-care in the long run. So perhaps that's my answer.
Elise Hu (12:44):
Yeah. Is there a time recently where you've noticed you actually did catch yourself?
Mari Yamamoto (12:50):
Sort of apologize. It's just so funny because in Japanese culture, everything starts with an apology.
Elise Hu (13:00):
Yes. Sumi Mason is the only thing I can speak in Japanese to this day.
Mari Yamamoto (13:05):
You enter a room with an apology. You lead with an apology. So I think people find it really strange. I would be doing interviews and I would have to go to the restroom and I'd be like, "I'm so sorry." And everybody would be like, "Why are you apologizing? You go. " I would ask permission and I would get strange looks and I would be like, "Yeah, this is so interesting that I'm still doing this. " Yeah.
Elise Hu (13:31):
Just so listeners and so the Dori knows, we started bopping around together in Japan
Mari Yamamoto (13:36):
10
Elise Hu (13:37):
Years ago now. So I think when I was pregnant with Isabel ... Yeah, you still remember me pregnant with Isabel, my middle daughter. What do you remember about that time? Because I was thinking you were my guide to Tokyo. I felt like I couldn't really understand or explore the city without people like you, without Jake. So Dora Mari was a writer at the time. She was kind of doing some part-time journalism. She was writing. You had already started acting, right? Yeah. I
Mari Yamamoto (14:05):
Was acting and Jake and I were writing for The Daily Beast.
Elise Hu (14:09):
Yes, yes.
Mari Yamamoto (14:10):
It was an exciting time. I think Jake and I were covering all these different stories, running around town. There were a lot of protests in front of the diet and things like that and how my daily beast started. And then we would have different journalists like you come in and cover different stories. So then we would go along. And I think the first story we covered together, I think it was the single mothers or child poverty in Japan maybe. I think that
Elise Hu (14:46):
Was it. Yes, that's right. It's actually somewhat related to rental family because I did a lot of stories about society and how society was getting lonely,
Mari Yamamoto (14:57):
Lonelier. I feel like I lived in New York for a period of time and then I came back and then got back into journalism and I felt like I was rediscovering Japan in so many different ... I had a different lens on it. So I saw the country so differently after I started writing, but it was a really fun time. I remember I just remember me with my sun umbrella that you would always make fun of me for, and we just run around town. It's covering stories in the middle of summer.
Elise Hu (15:36):
Story, you and Mari would just be two peas in a pot because she goes nowhere without a parasol.
Doree Shafrir (15:42):
Yeah. I love that. I love that.
Mari Yamamoto (15:45):
Yeah. Literally, I think you sent me, or maybe I sent you this meme of a white girl being like to an Asian girl, "Why are you hiding?" And the Asian girl is like, "Why are you Asian?"
Mari Yamamoto (16:00):
It was my constant crusade to try to get Elise to avoid the sun, but she would
Elise Hu (16:05):
Just like- Man, I'm all about fry, crispiness.
Mari Yamamoto (16:09):
Just kidding.
Elise Hu (16:10):
I mean, I'm much better about it now. I actually did change, I think, in
Mari Yamamoto (16:12):
Asia. Oh, good. Yeah. I have converted you finally. Yes. Good job, Dori. Right?
Doree Shafrir (16:19):
Thank you. Now I want to ask you all these questions about sun protection. Skincare, right?
Elise Hu (16:24):
Yes. Yeah, exactly. Can we just take a little detour and ask Mari what you're doing for sun protection and what your tried and true skincare all stars are?
Mari Yamamoto (16:35):
Well, my rule number one, don't go anywhere without your umbrella, right? Truly, even if people look at you strange, I just think, I know you wish you had one. It's actually cooler in the bread of summer under a little shade that you bring along. So life hack. And it's also for the rain as well. So you're always prepared for any kind of weather. So true. Yeah. And sunscreen every day for sure. Skincare. I swear by this whole ... I have a skin therapist in Japan who I only get to see when I go back to Japan, which is why I go back so often. But she does my facials and also she has this line of skincare. It's not like publicly available, I think. So that's the only downside of it. But if you contact me, I will let you know. I will hook you up.
(17:38)
But I've been using it for 10 years and it's been really good. I really like it. It's all organic and I have really sensitive skin. So I try to be really mindful of what I put on my body, face. I definitely do a sheet mask on the plane,
(17:57)
All the things.
Elise Hu (17:58):
Is your sunscreen Japanese or Korean?
Mari Yamamoto (18:02):
It's Japanese. I haven't gotten to the ... I'm so afraid to change my routine because on set sometimes people will use different things and I'll break out. So I really like to stick to my own. I will use the sunscreen that I always have on my face. Even on set, I'll ask them to put that on first as sort of like a shield because it's sort of like generating collagen as well. It's a really good ... It gives you a nice sheen.
Elise Hu (18:29):
Well, Mari, you have been writing for television, you have been acting in television and in movies, and now you have this big movie out now. I think by the time this airs, Rental Family will be out. So do you want to set it up for us a little bit?
Mari Yamamoto (18:46):
Well, Rental Family is a film about this American actor who is sort of hitting a wall with his career, playing all these reenactment shows. And he's kind of looking for meaning in his life when he gets pulled into this business called a rental family business, which essentially clients can rent people out for different purposes. You act, the actors who are hired by the company, they will act as anything you would like them to be, your mother, your dad, your grandma. They will bring anybody who fits the profile and role play with you essentially. And so inadvertently, he finds a role of a lifetime in a way that in doing this job, he finds so much meaning and actual connection because in the end, what he was looking for all along was connection and a place to belong. And he finally finds belonging in Japan of all places through this job.
(20:02)
So that's kind of the story of the movie. And you meet amazing people and gorgeous scenery all through the film. And I hope that it makes people feel like they've been on a trip in Japan for the few hours they get to watch this.
Doree Shafrir (20:18):
I wanted to ask you about your character. Yeah. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about her in particular and kind of what her role in the film is? And then I have some specific questions about her because she's fascinating.
Mari Yamamoto (20:34):
So my character, Aiko, is an employee of the rental family business. And I like to call her the heart of the operation because she's actually the person who cares the most about her clients. And she really goes the extra mile for everybody who comes to them.
Elise Hu (20:51):
So when you say employee, do you mean like an agent, like she's pairing people up?
Mari Yamamoto (20:56):
Oh no. Oh, she also does that because she's sort of number two in the company. So she is sort of taking the calls and assigning people to assigning actors that they hire to clients. But at the same time, she is like a top performer. So she goes out and actually role plays with the clients herself. So we see in the film that one of the most popular service is the apology service, which is a real thing and a very popular thing in Japan where you ask somebody to take on your own apology for your own mistakes so that you don't have to take the backlash of it, I guess. And what happens a lot is that a man who is cheating on his wife will be found out and then subsequently have to apologize. So he will bring a rental family actor as his mistress to perform the apology so that his actual mistress won't have to be subjected to that.
(21:58)
Every man's dream.
(22:03)
And she is put into these like really degrading situations. And it was kind of interesting trying to figure out how does she justify that because she really believes in this business, but it made sense to me when I thought, okay, so this is the most popular service. So in order to keep the business going, they need to take these apology cases. And if she takes one for the team, then they can keep the business going and she can help the people who really need it. She can service the people who are really lonely because I was like, she's such a strong person. She has all these values and why is she allowing that to happen? Sure. So there's like a whole backstory to it.
Doree Shafrir (22:53):
Well, that actually was kind of one of my questions is like, what do you think your character's backstory is? How did she end up here? What's her story?
Mari Yamamoto (23:03):
Right. So Steven and Hikari, the screenwriters, and they had so many iterations of the script and they thought about every little thing. So whatever question you had, it was so funny because when I asked Hikari something, she was like, "Oh yeah, when she was seven," that's how she started.
Elise Hu (23:23):
Oh, she had a whole Bible for this character, all the characters, I guess. That's
Mari Yamamoto (23:28):
Amazing. Yeah. She's also really collaborative. She really listened to all of us whenever we had ideas, but actually a lot of it was in the script and we shot all of it and ultimately some of them didn't make it into the final product of the movie. But what's interesting is that we, Takeiro Hira, he plays Xinji, my boss, we all had all these backstories that we actually shot. So it felt like part of our memory as humans and actors, right? And it really helped- That's so cool. Yeah. So it just really became an undercurrent in everything that we did, all of these big things that might not be in the film, but it is so present because we played it as part of our memories. So that was really cool. And yeah, she actually had a scene where she talks about how she used to be an actor for real and something happened to her so she could no longer stay in the industry and she had to leave and she blames herself for that incident.
(24:36)
And that's when she met Xinji and was recruited to work for Rental Family. And I think I put it together that it was an interesting question of like, why does she care so much about helping other people? And it made sense when I thought, oh, when something happened to her, nobody was there for her. So she feels the need to be there for somebody who needs somebody because-
Elise Hu (25:05):
So it's kind of a transference almost.
Mari Yamamoto (25:07):
Yeah, it's a transference. And also she finds meaning and healing a little bit through helping other people, right? We think it's our fault when something happens. So there's like a little bit of self-punishment. And by taking on these apology jobs, she's taking on the shame of other people. There's some sort of like deep psychological self-punishment that's allowing herself to be in these situations. And then until Philip, I don't want it to be like a savior thing at all, but it's just a function of like Philip's character that he's ... And Brendan is just like that too, where he just holds space.
Elise Hu (25:47):
Philip played by Brendan Frazier. You got to work with Encino, man. Oh, he's incredible.
Mari Yamamoto (25:52):
Yes. But he's just this person who comes in and into the space and you instantly trust him and you just feel like you're swimming in a big ocean, which is him. He's just so wonderful.
(26:05)
And he's like that. And the character is also like that in that they never judge and they hold space for you to be whatever you need to be, which he does for all of his clients. And in a way, he does that for my character and also gives me permission to ... You know when you let something go because you normalize it, even if you kind of know it's not okay, but you just justify it somehow. Of course. And then until somebody pointed out being like, wait, that's not okay. No, that's wrong. And then you realize what you've been doing to yourself. So there's a scene where that happens. And I think that was huge for me playing that. It was just like everything came up of like what she's been repressing, like suppressing the whole time.
Doree Shafrir (26:52):
So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back.
Elise Hu (27:03):
I'm so curious because you were an actor playing an actor acting. So it was like a real performance inside a performance, like a Russian nesting doll situation or an inception situation of acting. What was that like for you?
Mari Yamamoto (27:20):
Oh, an actor playing an actor. Well, I think ... Oh, well, now I'm thinking about it, I'm like getting a bit confused, but I think-
Elise Hu (27:31):
No, I just mean you, Mari, you're an actor, right? And then you were also having to play a performer who was performing. And so I'm just curious what that was like and whether it was tricky or it was just the character and you just embodied it and
Mari Yamamoto (27:45):
Did it. Well, I think it is the character. And also, the roles that she's playing are people who mean something to the client. It's a story. It's like you get a script every client, you get a really specific client of ... You get a really specific script of what the client wants you to be. So it's the same as having a script as an actor and preparing and going into it. And I think my character takes it really seriously. So she really does the whole character building before she goes to meet a client. And you only see the apology scenes really in Ico's track. But there was a scene I really loved where she's like dancing with like an older, tiny lady in the beginning. And that obviously has like a backstory of the older lady wanting to be like a Japanese girl group from the '70s.
(28:35)
Her whole life, she wanted to be like them, but she never had the courage to be like, "Ooh, I'm going to pretend." So she finally works up the courage to hire me to be the girl in the girl group. So one of their really famous songs and we hired the other actors as like fans. And so you just really believe and go into like every single one of them. So it wasn't strange for me, strangely. Yeah.
Elise Hu (29:00):
I took one of these jobs for one of my first reporting jobs in Korea because there's rental agencies in Korea where you can rent people. What were you again? I was a fake wedding guest. Oh, that's right. I mean, I was a real wedding guest at a wedding, but I didn't know the bride. And the reason why she needed to hire a bunch of guests is because she had told her fiance that she had a big family and she came from lots of friends and all these things and she didn't. And they had this big wedding and so he would obviously have a big side and then hers, she didn't. And so she hired all these actors and I just went with this agency because it was for reporting.
Mari Yamamoto (29:42):
I remember that.
Elise Hu (29:44):
But I went with this girl who is commonly a wedding guest or sometimes a bridesmaid and she was like, "You wouldn't believe how many times I have played a fake
Doree Shafrir (29:51):
Bridesmaid." Wow. It's funny, I saw someone post on Facebook recently that she was a bridesmaid for high Hire. I was like, is this a scam or is this now just something that in this US? Yeah. Is this something people are doing now? I don't know.
Elise Hu (30:10):
What do you think all of this says about where we are as a society or as societies and loneliness? I remember 10 years ago when these rental agencies were of fascination to me. They were fascinating to me because they were in these more collective societies of Japan and Korea where saving face and basically showing that your family, that you had a big family mattered or showing your family that you were straight and not gay mattered. And so you would have a fake heterosexual relationship. And a lot of it was sort of saving face for family. But now I feel like everywhere globally we face this loneliness crisis, but a need to perform on our digital platforms and everything. So where do you feel like we're at? And do you think rental families or rental agencies are going to be just unique to Japan and Korea or Hong Kong or wherever else they are?
Mari Yamamoto (31:14):
I've been thinking a lot about this and I feel like the reason this notion of somebody who saw the film came up to me and said, "I despise this service, but I love the film." And I was like, "Oh, interesting." He was an American man. And I said to him, "I understand the initial sort of reaction to the perhaps superficiality of it, but please consider that isn't it better to have something that people can turn to instead of them falling through the cracks of loneliness?" And it was like a whole conversation.
Elise Hu (31:59):
Right. And if we're going to live in an economy or in a system that sort of fragments us and divides us or makes us compete against each other for our livelihoods to put food on the table, why stop somebody from acting in order to make a living in order to help satisfy somebody else's social needs, right?
Mari Yamamoto (32:21):
So I know a lot of actors are out of work. It's a hard profession. And in a way, you get so much satisfaction out of helping somebody through what you're good at. As an actor, you go and act as somebody's sibling, whatever it is that they're asking of you, you get to do that. And then I think it's so meaningful for the provider as well. It's not like they don't get anything out of it. It's like, I think it speaks to how even if the beginning of an interaction is transactional, it doesn't mean that real connection can't happen. You know what I mean? I read this script a month after my dad died,
(33:10)
And there's so many themes of fatherhood in this film. And I was in the pits of despair, as you can imagine. But when I read this, I thought it really felt like almost like a sign from my dad being like, "You go out there because of course you can't replace a parent, but if you have the courage to step out, you might be able to find care and connection and compassion and the kind of gentleness and love that your parents gave you. " It's not like you can't find that anymore. So it gave me hope reading this script and that's really the reason I wanted to do it. I think that's what the film is about, but in terms of loneliness crisis, I think specific to Japan, I'm not so knowledgeable on Korean culture.
(34:14)
I know there are a lot of similarities and it can be a really difficult place, especially for women. I do know that. But I think the culture of the people rave about being so considerate and thoughtful and kind and polite as Japanese people, it is a double-edged sword of like, you're so sensitive to other people, other people's needs, what people are thinking, what will people think, what will people say? So you're unable to express your own needs, even to the people who you're close to because you worry about them. And that results in the kind of isolation in the end, which is really heartbreaking if you think about it, right? Because all we want to do actually is to be together and like connect, but we don't ask for it. We don't know how to ask for it. And I think because we don't have therapists and we don't have really a general understanding, the general society doesn't really understand mental health problems.
(35:22)
It's so stigmatized. So where do people turn to? Services like this. So I think that's why this kind of solution is unique to Japan and perhaps Korea. I don't want to speak for Korean society, but I assume it sort of has to do with the pressures of keeping up appearances and so on. So what's your take on that, Elise?
Elise Hu (35:47):
I'm just hearing an analog because you're saying that in these more collective societies, people are so sensitive about how they're judged because you care what other people think and you've learned to care about what other people think. But all of us, especially young people who are growing up on screens and performing on screens all the time, are learning to be very self-conscious, but also conscious of how they are seen and how they are judged. And in the same way, it kind of fuels a loneliness and an isolation if you're not
Mari Yamamoto (36:17):
Careful.That's the irony of social media, right? We're just such social animals and we're just curious what other people are doing. So we're just looking through our little windows and always caring about what other people are doing, what they're thinking. And then in the end, the motive is to connect, but then it's just like bringing up further and further apart. So I'm hoping a film like this, maybe the service is controversial, but it's just like, if you boil it down, it's quite simple. If you reach out, other people also want that. Don't stop reaching out is I think what we're trying to say, whatever form it is, if the intention is it's with goodwill, then you will find that connection you're looking for is what we're trying to say, I think.
Doree Shafrir (37:09):
Well, before we let you go, first of all, you might be the only person who has successfully pivoted from being a journalist to being an actor because I feel like usually when people pivot away from journalism, it's to like a safer profession and you have become a successful actor. So kudos to you, but I'm also wondering, how are you surviving in the industry right now? How is it going for you?
Mari Yamamoto (37:40):
Oh, interesting. I think that's so funny though. I went to a riskier career that's so true. Actually, they're so supportive. I think I got really lucky and I think that's what allowed me to take that leap because they were so-
Elise Hu (37:55):
Your parents, they were awesome.
Mari Yamamoto (37:56):
They saw me suffering jobs and not come home and stuff. So they were just like, "You do what you love." And I got really lucky with that. But I think being a multi-hyphenate is so key these days. That's what I keep hearing everywhere. So I think it's confusing that I'm like a journalist and I write and I'm also an actor, but for me, there's like an absolute through line. I always say journalism is like the pursuit of the truth, right? You're finding facts and then you're building a story from the facts. So for me, acting is the same in that you're pursuing the truth of a character. You're trying to figure out what this is, what the reality and the truth is for the character, and you're building that. So there's absolutely a through line for me in everything I do. And in terms of, I'm so grateful that I can transfer those skills to writing scripts.
(38:56)
And if you're generating material, then you're more likely to have opportunities. So I think I'm focusing a lot on writing my scripts. I'm writing one with Jake. I have one that I'm trying to get off the ground somehow. And if you're grinding, it's what my dad always used to say. If you're working hard, someone's going to notice. Someone's going
Elise Hu (39:28):
To- I hope so.
Mari Yamamoto (39:29):
And I think it's turned out true for me every time. I just kind of ... The industry is slow, everybody says. So if there's nothing happening, then try to make something. So always being a self-generator is the key. I think that's how I'm surviving, I think.
Elise Hu (39:47):
Well, Mari Yamamoto, you are brilliant. I love you. Please let everybody know how to find you. Are you hanging out mostly on Instagram these days or where do you want folks to find you?
Mari Yamamoto (39:57):
I'm occasionally on Instagram, come find me. Mostly talking about the film these days, but if you have Apple TV, I am on Monarch Legacy of Monsters. The second season is coming out next year soon. So please tune in for that. If you haven't watched season one, it also stars my costar of rental family, Takehiro Hira. He's incredible. We play mother and son in TV show, and then he plays my boss in the. What an age range. Range. I know. I can't wait to see what we do next. Please go check that out. And rental family comes out in theaters in November 21st, everywhere. So please go watch it. Yay.
Elise Hu (40:49):
Thanks, Mari.
Mari Yamamoto (40:50):
Thank you.
Doree Shafrir (40:55):
Well, she was delightful and so down to earth and cool. And I also loved that she was doing a bunch of press today for her movie, just going from interview to interview to interview. When she logged on, she must have just seen, okay, doing a podcast interview, but didn't know that you were the host and she was so visibly delighted when she saw you. So that was very sweet.
Elise Hu (41:19):
Yeah. Yeah. I love how glam she was too. We were just rolling in as we typically do in Mars. They were like touching her up. Mari looks perfect.
Doree Shafrir (41:28):
Yeah. Perfect. They were touching her up before the interview and we were like, " You don't really need to do that. "All right. Intentions. How did ankle weights go?
Elise Hu (41:41):
Oh, my ankle strengthening stuff?
Doree Shafrir (41:44):
Yes.
Elise Hu (41:45):
They didn't. I was gone from Ava too much and so- Oh, that's right. You were a real thing. Yeah. I haven't done it with her. I don't think she's been that great at it. And I was like, " Have you been doing all your ankle exercises? "And she was like, " Is the PT really going to be able to tell? "And I'm like, " Yes. Yes, she is going to be able to tell. You need to do that. What are we spending this money for?
Doree Shafrir (42:05):
"Oh boy.
Elise Hu (42:07):
Yeah. But this week I'm just going to put ... I know my friend Pamela who listens to this podcast is going to make fun of me because I have to re-up this intention so much, but this week I'm going to put exercising three to five times a week in as my intention because I just haven't. I've just been going, going, going and driving a lot and I'm just putting it down and making it happen.
Doree Shafrir (42:39):
Great. I
Elise Hu (42:39):
Can't spell
Doree Shafrir (42:39):
It. I love
Elise Hu (42:40):
It. Here we go.
Doree Shafrir (42:44):
Well, I was going to do conditioning last week and it just didn't happen. So I should probably do that again this week. Okay.
Elise Hu (42:57):
We are re-racking them. We're re-intending. Yes. Sometimes when the intention doesn't actually work out, you got to just re-intention.
Doree Shafrir (43:09):
Yeah, I don't know. I was going to do some over the weekend. Although, you know what I did do though? And I texted you about this? What? I only did this once, but I was proud of myself. One night after Henry gone to bed, by the time Henry goes to bed, I know he's only one child, but I drained. It's like a lot. So I was just sitting on the couch. I was scrolling TikTok and was just kind of zoning out. And then I was like, " I should do a 30 minute relaxing yoga class. "Instead of just sitting here on the couch scrolling my phone. And I got up and I went to my office and I turned on the Peloton and I did a 30 minute yin class with one of my faves Aditi and I did feel so much better afterwards and I texted Elise because I needed positive feedback.
(43:59)
She was like, " Yeah, you were so happy for me. "And that was reinforcement I needed. That's how you feel.
Elise Hu (44:06):
Yes. Yes. But I also asked you how you felt and Dori said that she felt like she could pitch a complete game.
Doree Shafrir (44:13):
Oh yeah, that's right.
Elise Hu (44:14):
Just like Yamamoto Son. Yeah. Just like Yoshi Yamamoto.
Doree Shafrir (44:20):
I was like, okay, he might be onto something with this flexibility thing. Wouldn't you know? Did you see ... I also, I meant to text this to you and I think I was like, " Oh, she's at Ted. "But there was a photo going around of Jokovich doing splits. Did you see this?
Elise Hu (44:36):
No, but I believe it. That man is so flexible and he credits
Doree Shafrir (44:39):
It. And he's 38, so he is also really leaning into the flexibility thing. I'll have to find it and send it to you, but yeah, he's doing a full split legs on the floor. Good. Wow. For him. God bless him.
Elise Hu (44:58):
God bless him.
Doree Shafrir (44:59):
All right, everybody. I hope you get your stretching in. Yes. Keep stretching. And just a reminder that Forever35 is hosted and produced by me, Doree Shafrir, Elise Hu, and produced and edited by Samee Junio. Sami Reed is our project manager and our network partner is Acast. We'll talk to you soon. Thanks. Bye.