Episode 303: The Power of Laughter with Elise Hu
Kate and Doree detail the sweet gifts that their kids got them before Elise Hu joins them to chat about their shared love of all things Costco, the joy of laughing in public, the drugstore cleanser Elise can’t live without, and the K-beauty product she has to smuggle in since it’s not sold in North America. Elise will be joining Doree as Forever35 co-host for the summer!
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer.
Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir.
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: We're not, we're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: Doree, I have to tell you that my kids gave me presents for Mother's Day that they bought themselves from Target.
Doree: Lovely.
Kate: And they both got me candles, which was so sweet. They each got me a candle. Then they each got me candy, and then they each got me. One got me a hair clip and one got me a fake plant.
Doree: Oh, that's very sweet.
Kate: So one of them got me the Driftwood and Sea Salt Opal House candle from Target, which smells delicious. I've been burning it in my office. It's kind of a very clean, fresh scent. And then the other one got me my favorite candle of all time, cozy Nights from Target, a classic Forever35 candle. And she didn't know. I was like, this is my favorite candle. Have you ever noticed that there's a bulk amount of these around our house at all times. She was like, I didn't know.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: It was so sweet.
Doree: That's really sweet.
Kate: I know. She was like, I just thought it smelled good. And I was like, yeah, no shit. It's the best.
Doree: Aw.
Kate: It was great. It was very sweet. I felt very, I was like, oh, this is just I, it was so cute. And I also was, that was really cute. Whatever, 30, what a Forever35 moment I'm having here holding this cozy nights candle from one of my kids. It felt very full circle for me.
Doree: I love this. So that's so nice.
Kate: It's very sweet. Did Henry give you a cozy nights candle for Mother's Day?
Doree: He did not. He got me some flowers and he made me a card, which I think I showed you.
Kate: Yes. Which was so cute.
Doree: I posted it on Instagram as well, but it was a card that said, you've got moves. And then inside it said you know it. So it was not a specifically Mother's Day card?
Kate: It was a moves card. It was a You've Got Moves card.
Doree: It was card. It was a card about how great my moves are. It was like a dancing card. So funny to me is who gives this card?
Kate: What's the occasion
Doree: Use case? Yeah. What occasion is this card? This is what I'm very curious about.
Kate: That's a good question.
Doree: I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm just wondering, under what circumstances would I give someone a card about them being a great dancer?
Kate: I mean, my sister mom is a
Doree: out of curiosity.
Kate: My stepmom is an amateur ballroom dancer, and my dad takes dance lessons, which is how they think they met. So maybe that card is specifically for them.
Doree: Maybe
Kate: My stepmom is a really good dancer. She competes and she's so talented and her posture is incredible.
Doree: Wow. Okay.
Kate: So I think I need to get this card for her.
Doree: That is exciting.
Kate: But know what you're saying.
Doree: You can get it at Trader Joe's.
Kate: Okay. Well that's also funny because a Trader Joe's, it's not like Target where there's rows and rows of cards. Trader Joe's just have a tiny rack.
Doree: Yes, that's true. Very true.
Kate: That's interesting to me. All right. I'll see if I can find it at my trader and I will
Doree: Look. I don't know.
Kate: That is really funny. Funny. It's always also really sweet to see what kids pick out.
Doree: Yes, yes, yes. Agreed. That means true.
Kate: It's like the one year my kids got me, one of my kids got me a giant bag of cough drops for Mother's Day or my birthday or something. And I was like, okay, this was what you thought. And I like that Henry was like, my mom has moves.
Doree: Yeah, my mom does have moves.
Kate: My Mom has moves,
Doree: And he got me some really pretty flowers, which was nice.
Kate: Aw buddy.
Doree: I know. So yeah. But we should get to our guests because we had a lot to talk about with her.
Kate: She is an important figure because
Doree: She is an important figure.
Kate: Listeners are going to be hearing more from her.
Doree: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So we asked Elise Hu, who is coming on as a semi-permanent guest host with me. The plan is to see how it goes, see if she likes it, see if I like it, see if our listeners like it, and then we're going to kind of assess where things are at. But we wanted you all to get to know her a little bit before Kate left. Also, hear them both talk about things like Costco.
Kate: Yeah, buckle up. So buckle up
Doree: If you don't know Elise already. She is a Los Angeles based journalist, podcast host and writer who spent nearly a decade at NPR. You might've heard her voice on shows like All Things Considered and Morning Edition. Now, she's also the regular host of Ted Talks daily. She's been an international correspondent. She reported for more than a dozen countries, and she opened NPRs first ever Soul Bureau in 2015. And her experiences in Seoul inspired her debut nonfiction book, flawless Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K Beauty capital. She is also the co-founder of the podcast production company, reasonable Volume, and a mom of three daughters. And just a reminder, you can visit our website Forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show. We're on Instagram @Forever35podcast. You can sign up for our newsletter at forever35podcast.com/newsletter. And you can call or text us at (781) 591-0390 or email us at Forever35Podcast@gamil.com. So here is Elise.
Kate: Well look what we have here.
Doree: This is very exciting for me.
Kate: Welcome back to the Pod Elise. Are we going to gang up on Doree and only talk about Costco for the next 30 minutes?
Elise: I'm so excited. Just kidding. Do Doree to be with both of you because I'm chuffed to step in for a bit. But just like all the rest of the listeners and forlorn, you're so nice that Kate is leaving. You are so singular and exceptional.
Kate: Oh, this is what I wanted today.
Elise: Really built this show into what it is.
Kate: Keep it going. This is why we're here.
Elise: But girl, you deserve the time to yourself. You deserve,
Kate: Thank you.
Elise: To take care of yourself without the regular cadence of a podcast. So of hosting one. And I get it. We get it. It's just I wish that we could all riff together more often.
Kate: I know. This would be fun though. I feel like this is a good motivation for an IRL get together.
Elise: Oh yes.
Kate: We kind of live spread across Los Angeles. I feel like we each live in a different point.
Elise: Yes. And emotionally it's a bridge too far.
Kate: It is a lot. But I feel like Doree, we could kind of come, we could meet near you and that might work for an IRL hang.
Doree: Yes, Yes.
Kate: Well, thank you for saying that, Elise. I appreciate those kind words and that means alot, but I'm thrilled that you're going to be the person coming in to dust off this chair and these headphones and keep the executive membership vibe of this podcast alive because
Doree: Excuse Me.
Kate: No, you're doing a good job Doree is also here. You're doing a good job with Costco,
Doree: but I also have an executive membership.
Kate: I know, I know. I know.
Doree: Wow. Okay.
Kate: Alright. No, you are doing a good job of Costco. I will say you've really stepped it up. You've been,
Elise: Have you seen they have tajin gummy bears?
Kate: No, but that sounds so good.
Elise: Yeah, there's this whole tajin packet underground market going on at my kids' elementary school That's like a black market. They're using it as you know how at the commissary in prison? I don't know. I mean, I haven't spent a lot of time in prison, but from what I understand about prison, you can use ramen packs as an item to trade for barter because you don't actually have money to use. The kids on the playground are now using tajin packets, those little travel size tajin packets.
Kate: Yes. That's what my daughter had in. Yes. It's delicious.
Elise: So have you opened up her backpack and found just like,
Kate: No,
Elise: A mountain of tahin packets because it's happening at the schools. It's so funny.
Kate: I will go look.
Elise: I think it's so cute. It's adorable.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: See what you have to look forward to Doree in Elementary School. It's wild out there.
Doree: So you're saying I should just buy a pallet of tajin packets so that Henry has currency on the playground
Elise: He use to trade.
Kate: Yeah, he use it to trade. Okay. He has an in,
Doree: This is good information for me. These are the kinds of things that I need to know about my child going into elementary school.
Kate: Going into elementary school, though it is a big transition. I don't know, Elise, if you felt this way and Doree, I'm curious as to how you're kind of feeling, and I will be more curious as we get closer to the school year, but there is something about a kid going to a quote real school, not real school, elementary school. It just feels like such a milestone, obviously for the kid, but for some reason also for me with both of them, I remember kindergarten just being like, oh my God, how did we get here?
Elise: And also the schools must look so huge to the kindergartners because suddenly they go from their preschools, which have small classrooms and everything kind of catered to them and their little cubbies and circle time and all of that to these kindergartens or these elementary schools that have 500 students, 300, 500 or more students. And some of those kids are giant because the fifth graders are like, can be what? 5, 5, 5, 6. And so it can be kind of intimidating, I imagine. So, yeah, it's tough for them. And then it's a big milestone for us too as parents.
Doree: Well Elise, that we always start our conversations with our guests by asking about a self-care practice. Since you are technically a guest today, and we are doing this to kind of reintroduce you to our listeners, let's talk about something that you're doing these days for self-care. I want to hear about it.
Elise: I didn't do it intentionally, but I've noticed that in 2024, I have been seeing a lot of live comedy and it really runs the gamut. Last night I saw Ally Wong and then I went on to see another show. I did a double header.
Doree: Wow.
Elise: Yeah. I was out until two in the morning.
Kate: Oh my God.
Elise: A Mother's Day to me and saw Morgan J, my favorite singing comedian. He's the guy who does all the autotune crowd work. You've probably seen him on your Instagram reels or TikTok. But then I also, this is really a surprising joy. I discovered there's a standup 1 0 1 showcase in Santa Monica.
Kate: Oh, I love this.
Elise: At this theater. That's not too far from me. And so every once in a while I'll pay 10 bucks to go watch these standup 1 0 1 students give their first type five. And most of the time it's awful and kind of cringe and embarrassing, but every once in a while there's a real gem. And so that's something that I'm doing with my friends when they come and visit from out of town.
Doree: That is so fun.
Kate: I love that so much.
Elise: It's brought me a lot of delight in 2024.
Kate: I also just want to say as a person, I've never done standup, but as a person who did improv comedy and those early days where you are mostly terrible, it's so nice to have people in the audience, especially not your friends, people who are just coming out to support you. That is a really lovely gift to give to performers. So that especially melts my heart.
Elise: Well, I do my big laughing. It's probably obnoxious and hopefully it doesn't turn them off, but
Kate: I think it's validating.
Elise: I hope so. I'm trying to do a lot of nodding and just going with it, but it's so much fun. So I've been doing a lot of that and spending the money for the bigger ticket people too. I recommended
Doree: You and I recently went to see live comedy together and I was also reminded of how nice it is to just laugh.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: You're like, oh, this person's really funny. I'm enjoying this. Wow, joy.
Elise: Who did y'all see? Who did y'all see?
Doree: We saw Kat Cohen.
Elise: Oh, I haven't, no, I'm not familiar. Same way.
Kate: I think you would be into her Elise.
Elise: Okay. Yes. I'm going to follow.
Doree: She has a Netflix special.
Elise: Okay.
Doree: She is.
Elise: I'm writing this down.
Doree: She is very funny. And
Kate: Feeling that too. Just being out like you were saying, Doree, it's fun to laugh at home watching a standup special, but the community feeling of laughter and that kind of giant collective release is so, it feels so good.
Elise: Yeah. We haven't laughed together during, well, during the pandemic years, that awful vortex. We weren't able to be together in a room
Kate: Even laughing on Zoom together. It's not the same.
Elise: Right. Doesn't have the same vibe or energy.
Kate: No. How was Ali Wong? I love her.
Elise: My gosh.
Kate: Was it so good? I don't want to give Speaking of laughing in a group,
Elise: I don't want to give too much away, but her latest set is all about post-divorce and all the expansiveness and freedom and fun she had as a financially independent woman who could leave her marriage and have an awesome time.
Kate: Oh boy.
Doree: Wow.
Kate: I'm into that. Okay, I want to hear that.
Doree: And Fuck Bill Hater's.
Elise: He showed up, he showed up at our show at the very end.
Doree: Oh My gosh.
Kate: Oh
Elise: My gosh. It was the only show that he went to because it was Mother's Day and so he showed up. Oh my gosh. And he spoke so glowingly of her and you could just see how much he loved and supported her. He's so supportive of her and he speaks so glowingly of how much work she put into the show and he was like, listen, I know this seemed so effortless, but I have been beside her as she was worked on this and toiled over exactly the right timing and exactly the right word choice over the past couple of years. And so it was just awesome. I loved it, bill. Yeah, I know. Oh yes. And so she went on a Total Rum Springer, which is her. It was just awesome. And it is her right. And she remains just as sort of spicy as she's always been. But at the end of talking about her journey through dating, she goes into how she realized that she has a preference for divorced dads. So she'll date the rainbow. She used to only date Asian American guys, but now she's dating some white guys. But really the type that she's into is divorced dads because they've already been pre yelled at. So they've all been sort of beaten down in a way funny that you don't have to beat them down further.
Kate: Oh my God, Ali Wong.
Elise: And they know what to do when it comes to kids and keeping them safe. They know how to change diapers, they know how to change duvets,
Kate: Duvets. Do they know how to change duvets?
Doree: That is a really important skill.
Kate: But do they
Elise: That's a good question. It depends on how much household labor Your husband or partner.
Kate: Yeah. How much did they take on? Yeah. I feel like that's a true test for a person. Do you know how to change a duvet?
Elise: Right.
Doree: Elise, can I ask you, and if you don't want to talk about this, you don't have to, but can I ask you, as a fellow divorced human, did you relate to allie's set on that level?
Elise: Oh yeah. I basically lived her experience, but two years younger. So she was like, everybody should get divorced at 40 because you're dating age range at 40 is the widest that it'll be. You'll able to date as young as 25 and as high as 55. So I dated 20 year olds or 25 year olds. I dated somebody who was 55 who, or claimed to be 55, but was nearly 60 where she had a good old time. No, I really related to kind of the expansiveness of leaving my monogamous marriage of God 10 years. And we were together since I was 21. So we were together for 16 years in total. And then my ex-husband and I live across the street from each other. And so we're like good co-parents and friends and remain good friends. And so I think the fact that it wasn't too acrimonious and we're not engaged in a long custody battle or anything has been a real privilege. And I think that's true for Ally Wong too. She says that she and her ex-husband are still best friends. So yeah, she's one of the lucky ones because I know how awful divorce can be when they're high conflict just on everyone. Totally can feel like nuclear fallout.
Doree: Okay, but did you date 25 year olds?
Elise: I never went that young.
Doree: Okay. Alright.
Elise: I did get with an Australian pilot who was coming through LAX from Hong Kong to LAX en route to Mexico City and onto Guadalajara
Kate: Write me this fan face.
Elise: And I just liked the whole context of it and I was like, yeah, I'll hook up with you in your hotel room this one night you're in town. Yes. So I did that.
Kate: Yes. Oh my gosh, I love this. I am living,
Elise: We have code names for everybody that I got with, I think he was called 7 77 or seven, eight, whatever the plane is.
Kate: He was a Boeing 7 37. Yeah.
Elise: Yeah. But he was bigger, so that's why I was like, is it a seven? What's the dream liner? The 7 87?
Kate: Oh my god. He's the concord, if you will.
Doree: Well, the Concord was sleek and fast.
Kate: I mean that's still not bad as long as it's effective and it gets you where you need to go.
Doree: That's true.
Kate: Which I feel like the Concor,
Doree: It might get you there too quickly. You know what I mean?
Kate: I do, I do.
Elise: But just like Allie, I did wind up with a divorce dad who is like, your husband's a screenwriter. So we have so much in common, Kate. Not just our love of Costco, but also our partners,
Kate: Our writing partners.
Doree: So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back.
Kate: Elise, can I ask you, I was kind of going through my list of favorite prods that I've been loving for a while. Do you have any, and also I know you come to this conversation as a person who has thought critically about not just skincare products, but the culture around it.
Elise: Yeah. The politics of beauty, what it means in our lives.
Kate: But do you have any products that you were like, you know what, I love you and I, we are in this through thick and thin. What are your go-to prods right now or just of all time that have been your favorite?
Elise: All time have been my favorite since I was in high school is the clean and clear foaming cleanser for sensitive skin. It's not the stuff I don't mess around with cleansers, with beads and things, but I think this clean and clear foaming cleanser that I've been using since I was 17 or 18 years old. It's my most tried and true product. I think it's like 4 99. It's awesome. And I wish I could hold up a photo of it because I'm sure that y'all have seen it at your neighborhood drugstore or Target. But in the K beauty realm, something that I discovered about 10 years ago when I was living in Korea is the Misha Time revolution essence. It's a brightening essence and it's a dupe of the SK product and it's awesome. It's like it's so lightweight and moisturizing. And ever since I started using it, I made it part of my routine, even though I am not one to try and add more steps to a skincare routine. So it's the Misha time revolution, brightening essence that I will recommend forever. And then also I still wash my face. You can add oil cleansing, you can do the double cleansing of course. So sometimes if I'm wearing makeup or I've gotten my makeup done for television or something like that, I use the oil cleansing first step and I'll use an oil cleanser, like a grapefruit oil cleanser from Tony Moley, which is a Korean brand. But then after that I will still go back to my tried and true clean and clear drugstore brand foaming cleanser for sun and skin.
Kate: I mean, if it works, it works.
Doree: If it works, that's It works. Exactly.
Elise: It doesn't have to be expensive. Like the Costco dollar 50 hot dog, 20 ounce drink meal. It doesn't have to be expensive. I have no relationship with either of these brands. I just like them. Yeah,
Kate: The Misha I have tried and it's, I've also tried the SK two,
Elise: The original one. Yes.
Kate: Which Elise, not to bring it all back, but I did buy it at Costco because it was much more affordable there. The Misha is great,
Elise: But did you have to buy four of them at the same time?
Kate: I didn't, but it was a big job. It was a lot and I was not consistent with it. And then I had guilt over buying something expensive and not using it quickly. That whole thing where you start to track the dollar amount of each pump of a product and you're like, oh, why did I do this? But yeah, the Misha is great. That's a product we talked about early on and then it hasn't gotten, I think the platform it deserves on this podcast. So thank you for bringing it back to light.
Elise: Yes, that
Kate: That's a good one.
Elise: I'm also a big fan of cushion compacts for your BB cream. So I know Kate, you have brought back BB cream or CC creams into your routine.
Kate: What is a Cushion Compact
Elise: Cushion compacts were invented by the Korean beauty industry and it really is the first product that really took off as K beauty marketed as K beauty throughout the world. And it's a delivery system for your BB cream or your CC cream that comes in the form of a spongy compact. So that instead of getting BB cream all over your fingers, you use a little sponge and then press it into the applicator and the sponge, the spring-like sponge is inside the compact. And so it's lovely. I don't know why cushion compacts haven't taken off in North America, but they're all over Asia. It's like the top selling product in Asia. And Mac makes a cushion compact for its BB cream called delightful. It's Mac delightful cushion compact, but for whatever reason, it's only available in Asia, I guess for sales reasons. So anytime I have a friend who's going to Singapore or going to be in Taiwan and then coming back, I have the mule it back for me, but it's SPF 50, so it's basically a tinted moisturizer and foundation, but it's S SPF 50. And so this is what I use for my daily facial sunscreen and it kind of covers up any imperfections.
Kate: Oh, this is okay. Okay. Now I am searching through here. Okay.
Elise: It's a delivery system for your BB cream,
Kate: but it's different than, it's not a pressed powder.
Elise: No, no, no. It's more like foundation. Got it. Or a tinted moisturizer.
Kate: Okay. Okay. Alright. I'm going to have to ask your friends if you know any or if we know anybody going
Elise: Also Mule.
Kate: Yes.
Elise: I looked on eBay and you can find them on eBay. I think there's people who are trying to do some sort of makeup arbitrage on there, but I just don't know if that's reliable.
Kate: Is this the kind of thing that's going to finally take off in America in five years?
Elise: They tried to bring the line cushion compacts to target. It didn't work in 2015 or 2016 and it didn't work. But those were excellent years in my life because I was able to stock up at target on cushion compacts.
Kate: I'm looking at these now. Okay. This is great. And I'm also annoyed that I did not realize these were a thing. Classic. Okay, wait, sorry to keep asking questions, but do you pour the product into the cushion compact and then
Elise: No, no, no. It comes preloaded.
Kate: Thank you.
Elise: The sponge comes preloaded and usually when you buy a box, you buy the product. It comes with an extra sponge, preloaded sponge too.
Kate: Oh god, this is illuminating. Okay,
Elise: Well yeah, so if you run out, you get have one change out.
Kate: Wow. If you just hear me typing, it's me searching cushion compacts in the background. Sorry everybody.
Elise: This guarantees that I get sunscreen all over my face.
Kate: Yeah, that's smart.
Elise: Since you're putting it on as if it's a foundation that, so this way your sunscreen coverage is total,
Kate: But this means you wear foundation every day.
Elise: It's not really foundation though. It's far lighter than that. It's more like a tinted moisturizer. If you can see me now, you can see all my freckles and everything. Oh wait, I'm not wearing anything on my face right now. This is inaccurate. It's an inaccurate representative.
Kate: Elise, I have a question actually, I want to circle back to the standup comedy. Has watching standup, especially watching this 1 0 1 comedy show, has it called you to try standup? As I'm listening to you, I'm like, Elise would be a great standup.
Elise: Really. I don't really like, to be honest, I think I would have too much stage fright. I love talking on a mic and when I worked for NPR for instance, you could be talking to 8 million people when hosting all things considered, but you're not conscious that you're talking to all those people at the same time. You don't have to look at them and they're not looking back at you. Right. You're just talking into a mic. Even right now it's like, I feel as though I'm just talking to you, Kate, and then Doree, and it's the three of us and the concept that this is going to go out and other people are going to hear about. My Australian pilot, for example, has not really, I haven't processed
Kate: That hasn't fully sunk in
Elise: Because if I did, because if I did, then I might rethink my filters.
Kate: Yeah, interesting.
Elise: And so I don't know that I would feel that comfortable. I feel like I'm shy if when I'm at a mic and have to in front of an audience. Actually, when I was on book tour and had to have all these eyes on me as I was talking about my book, I actually felt like sheer terror up until the moment we started chatting.
Doree: Wow. Okay. That brings up another thing that I would love for you to just briefly touch on, especially for the benefit of our listeners who might not know you, but could you talk a little bit about your other audio work?
Elise: Yeah, sure. So I've spent most of my adult life in broadcast journalism. I started in television news doing the job fairs on the weekends live at five or much more grizzly stories of missing women and homicides and all of that for the 11 o'clock news. And so I worked in television news in South Carolina, in Missouri, in Texas. I wound up covering politics. So I was a state political reporter in Texas, which is my home state for a few years before getting hired away to start a digital operation, a digital news nonprofit called the Texas Tribune, which is still running and it's like a ProPublica or a Politico, but for Texas. And so I was employee number three there. Then got hired away from there to join NPR, like around 20 10, 20 11 I want to say. And have spent all the ensuing years attached to NPR either as a tech reporter. I started there as an editor, then I became a tech reporter. And then I got posted in Seoul, South Korea where I opened NPRs first ever bureau in South Korea. And I covered North Korea, South Korea and Japan. And after I came back, yeah, I sort of burned out. And I remember being at the Pyong Chong Winter Olympics in 2018 and calling home to NPR and saying, I'm done. It was the coldest winter Olympics since 1992 in Lillehammer.
Kate: Oh my god.
Elise: And the winds were hurricane force winds and they were blowing over the metal detectors outside.
Kate: Oh my goodness.
Elise: And I was just like, it just felt like little needles in my face that sideways wind. It was awful. It was so cold. And so I called home to NPR and said, I have to come home to the United States at the end of my time because we're on these three or four year contracts. I was like, I have to come back to the us. I also am done with winter. I will not live in a place where there's winter again. And there was a lot of hemming and hawing because NPR is based in Washington DC where they have all four seasons, but there is an NPR West in Culver City. And so that's how I wound up here on the best coast. But let's face it, my soul has always been in la. It just took my physical body longer to get here.
Doree: Elise, you mentioned that you spent time in Texas. Is that where you grew up?
Elise: I claim Texas. I was born St. Louis and I lived there until about, gosh, my tween years and then moved to Texas. So all the streets that I know, all my formative adolescent experiences, they're all in Texas.
Doree: Okay. I was going to Dallas. I was going to ask you, you said that your soul has always been here. What would you say is the most LA thing that you do these days?
Kate: Ooh, I like this question.
Elise: Well, it depends on what your idea of LA is. Which stereotype are we putting?
Doree: I don't know you. What does that mean to you?
Kate: Yeah, what is your LA stereotype?
Elise: Right. Because the most LA thing that I do is spend a lot of time at electric car charging stations if you ask me. And then I'm meeting all these people with vaguely European accents who are also charging their cars. And we ask each other questions, how much longer are you going to be there? Do you want to trade spots? I think car culture is a big part of la, the stereotype that LA is shallow or somehow doesn't have the same culture or enough culture as the East coast, I wholly reject. And so I don't have anything that's very LA in that sense. My most LA encounter ever was, I was in the lobby of NPR and Gary Busey came in and I just find Gary Busey. So absurdly just absurd. I find him absurd and therefore interesting. And so he was standing around in the lobby and I'm like, I just go for it. I'm like, Gary Busey, bring it in for a hug. And he totally did as if we were like old friends.
Doree: Oh my God.
Elise: And so I'm sitting there and Gary Busey is telling me about how his name Busey actually has a connection to Claude Debussy, the French composer. And he's like, oh, he was actually my 14th cousin once removed or something like that. And I'm not sure if he's full of it or not, but he's regaling me with this story and then telling me about his latest motorcycle accident or car accident. He's been kind of through it. And then he offers to sign my book and as he's signing my book that he was there to promote in the lobby. All of a sudden whipping around from behind him, you hear a very familiar voice going, Gary Busey, my god, Gary Busey. And so it was somebody else who was just as excited as me to run into Gary Busey in the lobby. And I look up and it's Tom Hanks.
Kate: Oh my God.
Doree: Wow.
Elise: And he sticks out his hand. He is like, God, Gary, I haven't seen you in so long. And then he also gives Gary Busey a hug. And then he introduces himself to me as Tom. I think he does that. He's like the nicest guy in Hollywood apparently. And so he's like, hi, I'm Tom. I'm like, hi, I'm Elise.
Doree: Oh my God.
Elise: But it was so la it was like it had absurd Gary Busey and it had kind of one of the most likable guys in la Tom Hanks. And then me just, I was there because I was kind of wanting to have some sort of random encounter with Gary Busey to be able to share it later just for the story.
Kate: I mean, he is,
Elise: it just got better.
Kate: Tom Hanks coming in really heightens it to a new level. Yeah, that was an unexpected twist.
Doree: The Gary Busey is good, but the Tom Hanks just takes
Kate: Tom Hanks. It's like, wait, what? I was meeting a friend.
Elise: Maybe I do have a tight five. Kate, I should take stand up please.
Kate: I really, I support this if it's a journey you want to go on.
Elise: Oh no, I've never considered it at all. But now that we're talking about it,
Kate: Now that it's here, I just want to nudge you toward that. I know you have plenty of other stuff going on, but if you want to start doing standup this year in 2024, I will come to your shows.
Elise: Amazing. That'd be awesome.
Kate: I had a celebrity sighting recently where I was meeting a friend from out of town for a late breakfast early lunch, and I was like, I'm at the table behind one of the Hyam sisters. And that was very exciting for me.
Doree: Nice.
Kate: Yeah.
Elise: Do you know which one is which?
Kate: I do. And it was Alana that I was sitting behind.
Elise: That was the one that was in the movie, right?
Kate: Yes, yes. I was very excited. They are very LA to me, very the Valley. My daughters really love them. I mean, I love their music too, but they just feel very LA proud. And so it was very exciting to be like, hello. I see you Queen of Los Angeles Heim sister
Elise: That is like LA royalty.
Kate: Yes. And I do feel
Elise: It would only be more LA if this happened at Cantor's Deli
Kate: It, it happened at Little Dom's, which is also pretty la But no, it wasn.
Doree: That's very good also. Yeah. Okay.
Kate: Well let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.
Elise: So what about y'all? How would you answer a question about your most LA practice or your most LA experience? I didn't know where to go with that question when you sprung it on me. So how would you take that question?
Kate: I think la, one of the most LA things about me now is that I get very cold when it's in the sixties here. And all my East coast friends, I grew up like Doree did right outside Boston. I went to college in Maine, and then I lived in New York City for 10 years. And my whole family's from New Hampshire. I feel very New England, tough in a lot of ways. I cannot handle the cold here. I have completely adapted to the climate of the Southern California. And I get very annoyed when people who live in legitimately cold climates mock us. Because I say to them, trust me, there's a different kind of cold here. It's desert cold. But they don't believe you.
Doree: Well, Also, you see this happen all the time with people who visit here from New York. They don't believe us that if it's 75 during the day, it could get down to low fifties at night and there's not as much humidity and our houses aren't insulated. So then they're like, oh, it's so cold. And you're like, I told you that
Kate: The first time I traveled, one of the first times I traveled here for work from New York, it was in June, and I didn't jacket, I didn't bring any, not a sweater, nothing. And I was down.
Elise: Oh, so you didn't know it?
Kate: I didn't Google it. I just assumed, I assumed Los Angeles was like Florida where it just stayed the same temperature for 24 hours. And I was in downtown LA covering the Twilight Eclipse movie, red carpet for hours, shivering, the coldest I have ever been in my life because I just did not understand the weather here. So that is my most LA I think quality is that I have become a big lecturer on, it's actually cold here. It is really hard to drive in the rain here. And these are now two hills that I will die in that I never thought I would die in before.
Elise: And you get out your Patagonia puffer jacket when it's less like
Kate: the jacket that I wear to walk my dog in March is what my friends in Maine are wearing in March in Maine.
Elise: It's appropriate for skiing.
Kate: Doree, how about you? What is your LA quality?
Doree: Well, I mean, one of them is that my son knows every freeway.
Kate: This is so cute.
Elise: Oh, yes. And that's a good one.
Kate: Tell you how to get everywhere and really sounds like the SNL skit. He'll be like, we go to gymnastic.
Elise: Do you want to take the 405 outside?
Doree: Yeah, literally. He'll be
Elise: Like, and then go west on the tent and get off at Bundy.
Doree: Yes. This morning we were talking about Disneyland and he was like, well, if there's traffic on the five, then we can take those.
Elise: I was just like, oh, he is the Californian.
Doree: He is the Californians. He really is the Californians. And the other thing I was going to say that is very LA of me is that we have annual passes to Disneyland.
Elise: Yes.
Doree: Yeah, that is
Elise: Well, it's a better deal.
Doree: It's a better deal. But also it's about also it's such a LA locals thing that I didn't know was a thing because I also grew up on the east coast. I grew up flying to Florida to go to Disney World once every two or three years. My grandparents lived in Florida. And when you go to Disney World, it's an event. You stay there multiple days, it's a vacation. Huge deal. It's a whole thing. It's very special. And so when I moved here and Disneyland for people who grow up in Southern California is just like, you might just go there on a Friday night for a couple hours. Was like, what? So now I feel like I have a very SoCal person's view perspective on Disneyland, including having an annual pass.
Elise: Okay. Yes. But I love the value. I love that you are very discount minded in in getting the annual pass. It's just so much of a better deal.
Doree: It is a better deal. And Henry is still at an age where he really loves it and likes to talk about what route he's going to take there.
Elise: I don't want to pay like $12 for a churro at Disneyland though, when I can get a great one at Costco.
Doree: Bring it just full circle.
Kate: I like it.
Elise: I did that callback on purpose.
Kate: You're right. I never get the churro at Costco either. Figured out a way I should do that.
Elise: Oh, you don't. I mean, it's not as good as getting it at Disneyland because at Disneyland you've been at Disneyland all day, and so it just tastes extra. It's like getting a doll whip at Disneyland too versus getting it at your yogurt land. So yeah, I love those. So I feel like the most LA thing about me now that I've been here for six years is in my seasonings. So now I put tat
Kate: Yes, we started, like we said,
Elise: It's just to bring it back to the Tahin. Yes, we're coming full circle. But also I put food. I had it. Oh my God, everything. The Japanese, I
Kate: Just had it on my eggs and rice this morning.
Elise: Yes. I don't think I would do that exactly. See, I don't think I would do that if I still was in Texas or the Midwest.
Kate: I remember someone told me, LA has no culture when I was moving here. Spoiler alert, it was a white man and they could not have been more wrong.
Elise: Oh my gosh. It's bursting with culture. It's like bursting at the seas with culture. It's so true. Yeah. There's so many different places to discover and rediscover Los Angeles. And so this is what I mean about my soul always being here. I'll be a booster. Always.
Kate: Well, Elise, this was so fun. I'm so glad we got to chat.
Elise: I'm so glad to do it too. And Kate again, I'm sad you're leaving. I hope that you'll come back every once in a while. The listeners would love that, but we don't.
Kate: I'm happy to roll in as needed. But look, I'm also happy to just set the bird free. I don't know what that means, but you know what I mean.
Doree: So yeah. So Elise's first official episode will be two weeks from now. Kate's last episode is next week,
Kate: which is what? That's so weird.
Doree: Crazy. I know.
Elise: Are you ready, Kate?
Kate: No. I mean, yes, because I am really fried and I really kind want to take some time to refocus on some things for myself. But between the podcast ending and I have a book coming out at the same time, I'm just kind of like we, and I think I'll have that experience and a month where all of a sudden I'm like, what am I? And then I'm going to have to really look at what it means to take care of myself. And I'm also appreciate,
Elise: Well, we support you and honor this decision too. So I don't want that.
Kate: No, I really appreciate it. I think I'm definitely doing something that I think I need to do and that means a lot to me to hear it, to be supported in that way. So thank you. Thank you both. But it's not like I'm leaving the podcast in anything but amazing hands. So Doree's hands are capable and wise and Elise's hands are also capable and wise and new.
Elise: Yeah. Doree's got this.
Doree: I feel great about it. I've got this everyone I think. Well, Elise, thank you for coming on today and yeah, this was super fun. And we will,
Elise: this was super fun.
Doree: Next time I talk to you, it'll be as a co-host
Kate: and I'll be listening.
Doree: Okay? Yep. All right.
Elise: And we will meet up at the most central Costco,
Kate: like a West Hollywood Costco, if that's even a thing.
Doree: I wish that existed, but it does not.
Elise: We'll make it happen one day.
Doree: Alright,
Kate: Thanks Elise.
Doree: Bye.
Kate: Well, I loved our conversation.
Doree: Me too.
Kate: I had a blast. I feel like you're in good hands, everybody great hands. Dare I say.
Doree: I do feel that way.
Kate: In addition to Doree's hands.
Doree: Yes, of course.
Kate: Your hands are also great.
Doree: My hands are the best. Best. Yeah, we slide. I was glad. I was glad we all got to talk.
Kate: I was too. And I really would like us all to hang out. IRL. It could be at a Costco, It could be at a regular place, but it would be funny at a Costco.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: And also affordable and delicious.
Doree: Yes. Let's do it.
Kate: I also just want to say, I feel like Costco doesn't get enough credit for their pizzas. If you're either having a kid's birthday party or an adult's party, get your pizzas from Costco, everybody. They're very good. And the price point's great. that's all.
Doree: That's a hot tip.
Kate: Thank you. Again, I don't work for Costco, but
Doree: Really,
Kate: Wouldnt it? What if I was a plant? What if this whole time I've just been a paid plant from Costco?
Doree: I mean, that would be a long con,
Kate: wouldn't it?
Doree: Yeah, that would be amazing.
Kate: That would make for a great Ryan Murphy miniseries.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: Very boring.
Doree: Oh my gosh.
Kate: Door. Let's intention here.
Doree: Okay, let's do it.
Kate: Okay. Last week I talked about putting together a writing schedule because I've got a book due that I am working on that should come out next year and I need to keep writing it. And I'll tell you what, I have to be in public to write at the moment. I cannot write at home
Doree: With you on that.
Kate: I have been making great use of my local Starbucks as well as some of my local independent coffee shops and restaurants and stuff. But the Starbucks is just right near me and pretty easy and very anonymous. You just go, sometimes I go to my local spots and I see 8 million friends and I have the time of my life.
Doree: Right, right. But you don't want that.
Kate: Well, I do. As a person who loves distractions and humans, I do want that. But what I need is just to be in a hole at a little tiny table.
Doree: Yes, yes, yes.
Kate: With my egg white bites and I light roast. So I have been getting, I've been consistent, but I really notice that it has to be first thing in the day and it has to be in public. When I write on that note, this week I bought a phone and iPad lock box.
Doree: Ooh, okay.
Kate: It is an actual plastic box. It's about the size of an iPad and it has a digital lock on it. And so I'm going to try it because nothing else has worked this far in terms of getting me off my very addictive device. So I'm going to see how it goes to lock it into a box.
Doree: That's exciting.
Kate: This feels both desperate and also exciting.
Doree: I mean, I feel like this is something that we've talked about as an option in the past, so it's cool that you are actually doing it.
Kate: I just reached a point where I think everybody in my house could benefit from a lockbox. How about you, Doree? How did your last week intention go for you?
Doree: So my intention last week was to make a professional plan. And I am like, I'm getting there. But when you're like, oh, the universe has a path for me, but I don't know what it's,
Kate: Oh yes.
Doree: You ever felt that way? I know that feeling.
Kate: Yeah. I mean, I feel that way quite often, to be honest.
Doree: Yeah. So that's kind of where I'm at right now.
Kate: It's like you feel the pull of something but you don't know to wear.
Doree: Yes, exactly. It's exactly right. Kate. Now this week we are recording this the day before my birthday. So I think birthdays bring up a lot of feelings and I'm certainly not immune to those feelings. So just trying to let myself feel the feelings and surround myself with friends and people I love.
Kate: I'm excited to be one of those people.
Doree: And Kate, you are a big part of that, so I'm grateful you're role in that. Thank you
Kate: Friend.
Doree: It's true.
Kate: Well, I'm excited to host your celebration at my home, at my covid home.
Doree: Well, it's outdoors, thank goodness. We plan for to be outdoors.
Kate: I know. There's in my house everybody, not me, but other people. So yeah, we're trying to avoid it at all costs.
Doree: Weare trying to avoid the covid.
Kate: Oh God. It's fricking covid. Man. Never ends.
Doree: It never ends. It's so fun. It hasn't gone away.
Kate: I know. We are over four years into this shit. Well, happy birthday to you my friend.
Doree: Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Kate: Before we go, I just want to let listeners know that you can catch my book signing in Los Angeles on June 13th at the ripped bot is. I'll put info in the show notes. I'll be with Lauren Billings of Christina Lauren, and you can also pre-order a signed copy of my new book. And as previously discussed, I will draw if you would like me to, those links are all in our show notes.
Doree: So exciting. Do we wait, do we need to buy? Sorry.
Kate: Yes.
Doree: Do we need to buy a ticket in advance for your
Kate: Yes. Yes, do you do? But I bet I can get you in without one.
Doree: No, but I was going to buy one. I mean, either way.
Kate: Okay. Yes.
Doree: Anyway, thanks everyone for listening. '''
Kate: Thank you all
Doree: Forever 35.
Kate: Oh, wait, What? There we go. Sorry, I forgot we hadn't read this part yet. Sorry. Go
Doree: Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Doree Shafrir and Kate Spencer, and produced and edited by Sam Junio. Sami Reed is our project manager and our network partner is Acast. Thanks everyone. Bye.
Kate: Bye.