Doree and Elise hear from listeners about birthday letter traditions, kid-friendly sunburn remedies, American squeamishness around all things butts, and the marketing teams that have to take out ads to correct our pronunciation. 

Mentioned in this Episode

• Video: Introducing Sam Sanders to a Candle Warmer

• Dear Klairs Midnight Blue Calming Cream

• Biafine

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Transcript

Doree:                Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Doree Shafrir.

Elise:                   And I'm Elise Hugh. And we are just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums,

Doree:                And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, we answer your questions to the best of our ability, and we also remind you that we are podcast hosts. We're not medical or mental health experts, and there might be a time when we just have to refer you to one of those.

Elise:                   That makes absolute sense, and I endorse that. Thank you. And I think our listeners know this.

Doree:                Our listeners understand this, I think. Yeah.

Elise:                   But it's always important to caveat because sometimes these questions do get a little medical and we want to make sure that folks know Totally.

Doree:                You're not doctors. In fact, there is a question on this week's episode that was borderline.

Elise:                   Okay.

Doree:                And then I was like, she's actually not really asking a Doctory question. It just sort of sounds like it could be a doctory question. Okay. I've made that editorial decision.

Elise:                   Sounds good. I think I know which one you're talking about.

Doree:                Okay. Okay, great. What's going on in Elise Land?

Elise:                   I've been spending a lot of time with my family and out in nature. Nice. We're doing our one bigger vacation of the summer, and we visited Yellowstone National Park and Grand Teton National Park. I didn't know they were connected. And it turns out they're connected, so we drove through one into the other. Our base is Jackson, Wyoming, and then Jackson Hole is actually the valley in between the Tetons. I didn't know that's what the term hole came

Doree:                From. I did not know that. The

Elise:                   Valley and the airport is Jackson Hole because the Jackson Hole airport is the only one in America that is within the bounds of a national park.

Doree:                What? Oh, cool.

Elise:                   Jackson Hole Airport is in Grand Teton National Park. So it's one of the most beautiful approaches.

Doree:                Super cool. I've never been there. I would love to go to Yellowstone when I do. I will need all your tips. I saw pictures of you and your family tubing.

Elise:                   Yes. Oh, it looks beautiful. We took a float trip up the Snake River through Grand Teton National Park, but the next day, I think we went to Yellowstone and the geothermal activity in Yellowstone, obviously old faithful, but also there's something called mud pots. And then there are these really beautiful hot springs, geothermal, hot springs and waterfalls. And there's kind of like a rainbow color to them because of the bacteria.

Doree:                Whoa.

Elise:                   So the bacteria gives the springs different colors. And so we went and saw, and these hot springs are still steaming, and then there's very narrow boardwalks with no guardrails that you can walk on through the hot springs or sort of around the hot springs around the perimeter. And it's so cool. It feels like you're on another Planet.

Doree:                Planet. Wow.

Elise:                   So I highly recommend doing this trip.

Doree:                That sounds very

Elise:                   Cool. It's just teaming with people in July and August.

Doree:                Right, right, right, right, right. It's high season.

Elise:                   It is high season.

Doree:                I'm going to put that on my imaginary list

Elise:                   Or just come with me or with me. Come with me. I was just telling Doree that I have all this extra space. We're staying at a friend's house and there's an apartment that kind of is adjacent. There's a spare apartment and Doree's like, okay, I'm going to come along and why not come along? I'll come along. I'll just show up. What's happening in Los Angeles,

Doree:                What is happening here in Los Angeles is a great question. I'm playing in my monthly Mahjong game tonight.

Elise:                   Good luck.

Doree:                Thank you. It's a real friendly game,

Elise:                   But there's money at stake,

Doree:                Right? We don't bet we don't play for money. I guess it's not betting.

Elise:                   Isn't that what makes it fun?

Doree:                It's funny because we just never played for money.

Elise:                   And

Doree:                Also in American Mahjong, the stakes are extremely low. If you win a hand, you win 25 cents or something, but that might add another fun element of competition. I think for a while. So many people in our group were new to playing that it just made sense to play

Elise:                   So

Doree:                They could learn. And now I feel like there's a certain level of competency has been achieved.

Elise:                   Maybe you're ready to update,

Doree:                So maybe it's time. Yeah. I have to look at the betting rules, various rules around, I keep calling it betting. It's not betting. It's just like payouts essentially. If you self pick your hand for Mahjong, I think you get paid double and everyone else has to pay you. So yeah. So that's kind of fun. I can also, but it's interesting because American Mahjong is a very female dominated game. There are men who play, but it's very female dominated. It's not like poker or these other games that are

Elise:                   Male. The guys get together.

Doree:                Yeah. Yeah. It feels like a women's game for whatever that means. And so it does sort of irk me that the payouts are so low. Is it because it's unseemly for women to not make a lot of money for Mahjong or it's a little weird to me? Why are the stakes so low?

Elise:                   Why are the stakes so low?

Doree:                And it's like, is this connected to it being a predominantly female game? Because all the male gamblers I know would not play a game for 25 cents.

Elise:                   No. And I don't think the Chinese Mahjong players play for such low skate.

Doree:                No, I don't think so either. I was telling my dad about my Mahjong game. My dad used to do a lot of business in the Philippines, and he had this one customer who was of Chinese background, and I guess she played a lot of Mahjong. And he said he would get to the office and it would be like, oh, Betty's playing Mahjong

Elise:                   Because

Doree:                She's busy right now. She's playing Mahjong. You won't be able to see her for a while. She's playing Mahjong. And I just thought that was funny. And yes, you're right. I'm sure they don't play for 25 cents.

Elise:                   I spent my early years of my childhood in St. Louis before I moved to Texas, and now I claim Texas because those were my formative years. But when I was 12 and under and in St. Louis, there just wasn't a large Chinese American community in St. Louis. And so almost all, basically all 12 Chinese Americans,

Doree:                They all knew each other. They all

Elise:                   Knew each other in West St. Louis County where I was growing up, and my parents would host Mahjong Nights almost every weekend. And it tended to be a couple's thing, so the husbands and the wives, and they played co-ed or sometimes they played, there was a husband's table and a wive's table, but everybody played and it got pretty raucous because there was a lot of money on the

Doree:                Line, I think. Yeah, I think that does make it more exciting. And yeah, it's interesting that it was a couple's game. My grandparents played bridge and that was very much a couple's game. It was the way a couple socialized together. Yeah. I don't know. You're giving me a lot of food. Thought Elise, a lot of food for thought. I'm going to come in hot tonight and be like, all right everyone. I have a pitch. I have a pitch. You know how it says 25 cents per hand? I think we should do 25. Everyone will be like, you're insane.

Elise:                   Let's just move the decimal point.

Doree:                Well, Elise, before we take a break, I wanted to play a voicemail that we got a really sweet voicemail related to something that you had talked about recently, which is your tradition of writing letters to your girls on their birthdays.

Voicemail:          Oh

Elise:                   Yes. Great.

Voicemail:          Hi, Doree Elise, this is Emily calling from Massachusetts. I just wanted to chime in to say I love Elise's tradition of writing a birthday letter to each child. I've been doing that for both my children ever since they were born. And it's a great tradition. I just make myself do it either the night before their birthday or the night of their birthday, and I just do stream of consciousness, get it all out. I usually do two pages and then that's it. And it assuages a lot of mom guilt. And also, I always think about Elizabeth Edwards when she knew she was dying, she wrote a letter to her children and I just thought that was really moving. My dad passed away a few years ago and I'm always looking that there was some letter or communication from him that I could go back to and reference. And I just think it's a great gift to our kids to have that writing because you never know what could happen. And nice to have your parents' voice channeled in a letter. Anyway, thanks for the amazing podcast. Bye.

Elise:                   So lovely. I do the same things, just straight stream of consciousness. It's not like I outline these letters or keep a handy list of all the things I want to include in it throughout the year. I just sit down and write. And in fact, I still owe Issa one. Issa just turned nine, so I need to do that. Thanks for the reminder.

Doree:                Alright, well let's take a little break. Before we do that though, I do just want to remind everyone you can visit our website Forever35 podcast.com. We have links there to everything we mentioned on the show. We are also on Instagram at Forever35 podcast. And if you're not on our Patreon or on our Instagram, you missed a very fun moment with our guest Sam Sanders from a couple of weeks ago where in real time I revealed to him the existence of the candle warmer. And I believe I blew his mind.

Elise:                   He had never heard of this before and it was just so funny. I'm so glad we have it on video and in audio. That questionnaire, of course, is only on Patreon because the Forever35 questionnaires, which we put up with the main episodes that are available to everybody on Mondays, the Forever35 questionnaires are only available to our Patreon Pats. So join us there.

Doree:                Yeah. patreon.com/forever three five. Please do call and text us. Our number is (781) 591-0390. Put us in your phone when you think of something you want to tell us, just say Siri, call Forever35.

Elise:                   Love it.

Doree:                I hope that I didn't just make thousands of people call us by saying that. Whoops. Or you can email us at Forever35 podcast@gmail.com.

Elise:                   And just real quick, a reminder that we are doing our first Doree and Elise live taping in Los Angeles.

Doree:                So excited about this.

Elise:                   Yeah, it's coming up soon. It's August 4th. It's a Sunday afternoon on the west side over on my side of town,

Doree:                Elisa's side of town. Come on over to Elisa's side of town,

Elise:                   Culver City. It's also a pretty major, major city, so perhaps you've heard of it. No. Culver City. There is an independent bookstore that I love called Village Well, which is hosting this event featuring Sable Young. She is a New York based beauty editor. She was a longtime beauty editor at Allure and has just come out with Die Hot with a vengeance, a collection of essays about beauty culture in general. So the politics of it, but also just her experiences dying, her hair bleach blonde or bleaching her hair blonde as an Asian woman and the effects of that not only physically, but also socially and how people saw her. That was a really great essay. And then she just takes on the difference between beauty and vanity and all these things. And Doree and I will be in conversation with her

Doree:                And then the recording will air as an episode. But it would be very cool to see some of you there in person. Tickets are free. We are asking that people RSVP. So there is a link in the show notes to do that. It'll also be on our website. We'll also be promoting it on Instagram. I think there's also a link in our Instagram bio. Yeah. So rv, we are back. And Elise, you recently were talking about had one of your daughters had gotten a pretty bad sunburn.

Elise:                   Yes. In Palm Springs.

Doree:                In Palm Springs

Elise:                   On the surface of the sun.

Doree:                Yes. And when you said something about letting it peel off, she was horrified. The thought had never occurred to her that could happen.

Elise:                   She didn't know that as a concept that skin peels

Doree:                After a birth. Right, exactly. Sweet summer child. Okay. So we did hear from some listeners who had no judgment about this to be clear, but had some sunburn remedies that I wanted to share.

Elise:                   Good. Okay.

Doree:                Okay. This first one was a text. They said, hi, Doree Elise, I hope the sunburn fiasco at Elise's house is getting better. But I do have a product wreck, dear Claire's. And that's K-L-A-I-R-S, midnight blue calming cream. I discovered this a few summers ago when my then 7-year-old got her first sunburn and was inconsolable. She would not tolerate aloe or calamine too. They stung. But she loved this special cream and it really is very soothing. Bit pricey is a sunburn remedy, but we work hard to avoid burns altogether. So good in an emergency.

Elise:                   Okay, I am going to write this down and we will leave it in the show notes too. Dear Claire's, midnight blue Calming Cream. Thank you so much. Issa is going to really appreciate this, but I'm hoping that she avoids sunburns now going forward. I know now that she has had this difficult lesson.

Doree:                I've heard about, a few people have said to me that their kids have gotten sunbirds on the back of their necks. And I feel like that is an off overlooked spot for sunscreen. And so I've tried to be extra vigilant lately about putting sunscreen on the back of Henry's neck because it's just such an annoying place to get a sunburn. I also saw a dermatologist came up for me on TikTok the other day and she was like, look, it's better than absolutely nothing but sunscreen sticks and sunscreen powders don't really work. And I was like, Ooh, yes. She said, you should be using cream or lotion. And I was like, God damnit. Have all these Henry's just been using sunscreen sticks.

Elise:                   Well, my sticks are so creamy though. I don't know. I find that hard to believe because it's such a popular sunscreen. I know. Application method.

Doree:                Look, I heard it on TikTok, so it must be true.

Elise:                   Therefore, therefore true.

Doree:                Okay, so

Elise:                   Caveat. Doree heard it on TikTok.

Doree:                Yeah, exactly. I've become one of those annoying, I heard this thing on TikTok people.

Elise:                   Oh, I like this next text

Doree:                Though. Do you want to read it

Elise:                   About this same sunburn fiasco? Sure. The tip is gentle sheet mask for facial sunburn, maybe with some aloe soothing. This I actually did do, because I always have Korean sheet masks in my go Bagg in my suitcases. I basically just

Doree:                Never unpack them

Elise:                   Because I wear sheet masks when I fly because being up in a metal tube can be so drying for your skin. So just when I'm taking a nap or whatever, or I'm on a long plane, when I'm on a long flight, I will just wear a sheet mask as I'm sleeping. And then when I get there, I feel kind of dewy and moisturized. So I always have them in my bag. And that was the one thing I could offer Isabel when she was suffering from sunburn. Oh man. So good idea. We did do that. And she did sit there with the sheet mask on her face for a while and it did provide some relief that night.

Doree:                Okay, good. Alright. And we actually also got a voicemail on this very topic.

Voicemail:          Great. Hi Doree and Elise, I'm having a pause the pod moment to share a sunburn ointment that I love. Great. It's a French product. It's called Bine or bi, B-I-A-F-I-N-E. It is a burn cream actually is for that. And a friend of mine whose husband is Tre, she got it from me years ago, I guess French supermodels use it as a very occlusive night cream. And I have been enjoying it as such, but it truly is a burn cream. My son got a really bad sunburn. He's like Henry's age story. He got a really bad sunburn one day on the back of his neck last week at camp. Oh, this is supposed to be one of the people I heard I put on his neck and the next day it was, he didn't feel any pain. It doesn't even really have the jelly gooeyness of an aloe vera. It really just feels like a very rich face or body cream. Very mild, pleasant smell. Highly recommend. It's French, but I'm certain you can find it on Amazon. Something like that. Good luck.

Doree:                That must have been one of the people that was in my head about their kid getting a sunburn on the back of their neck.

Elise:                   Yeah, yeah. It comes full circle.

Doree:                All right. Thank you for this recommendation. I love any French product recommendation I think is automatically legit. So alright, now on a completely different topic. Hey gals, need some recs from you or other listeners for self-care while starting anxiety medication for the first time. I've dealt with health anxiety since I was about six years old and at age 31 I'm finally going on medication sertraline and propanolol after the toughest few months of my life. I know the initial transitions onto meds can be hard for some people and this also just feels like a big shift in my life and health overall. Do you have any wrecks for taking care of oneself while adjusting to and living life on anxiety medication? Thanks.

Elise:                   Great question. Obviously we aren't doctors.

Doree:                It's true.

Elise:                   After I saw this email, some of the people that are closest to me are on different anxiety medications. Not, what is it called? Propranolol, propranolol in particular. But usually with SSRIs they do take a bit to work. So first, don't lose hope. And then one of my friends, they said, their doctor said to keep a mood journal because sometimes it's hard to see the difference since they do take a while to kick in.

Doree:                Oh, that's cool.

Elise:                   Drinking lots of water always helps because headaches can often be because of dehydration. So that's just kind of a general hydrate for happiness tip. And then one friend said to just take a lot of walks because she realized that she was having a breakthrough when one day the sun looked bright and she could see and appreciate how nice it looked and felt. So she was sort of like, is this joy? What is this lightness? And she hadn't felt that in ages. And so that I really liked. And then one last reminder is just to trust yourself, because if something doesn't feel like it's working after the three to four weeks or however long the doctor says it takes, typically it's probably not working. And it takes a while. Sometimes just for different bodies, we're all different to find the right medication or the right mix of medications. So a lot of folks get it on the second try or the third try, but just don't lose hope and trust yourself. That's

Doree:                Such good advice. Yeah, I don't really have much to add to that other than be kind to yourself and give yourself breaks. Just listen to your body, listen to your brain, and you got this. Alright, we're going to take another little break. We'll be right back. All right. We have returned.

Elise:                   Here we are.

Doree:                Here we are with another voicemail.

Elise:                   Love our voicemails.

Doree:                Keep calling in. Love all the voicemails this week. Thank you.

Voicemail:          Hello. So I have a bit of a recommendation and then also a question that y'all might have the answer to or be able to posit an answer. I'm not sure. Recommendation. I've lived my whole life hearing people say the days of the best, blah blah, blah, blah. Anytime I was in a situation with one, I was scared to try it. My family tried it and everybody was right as of course they were. And now thanks to Prime Day, I have ordered an attachment for my own toilet. So my recommendation is if you have an opportunity to try every day, just try it. Go. Then my other question, I told my mom about it, she just been really weird about it and I was really weird about it. Where's this weirdness? Why have we decided that the days are just a strange thing? And I mean, I guess Americans, since they're so popular in other parts of the world, and I know there are people here that like them, which is why is that such a taboo thing? I dunno. Alright, have a great day. Bye.

Elise:                   I did not realize it was a taboo thing. I always thought it was a lifestyle upgrade. I always think of Japanese toilets. The best toilets in the world are the toto neo rest toilets. I have visited the toto showroom in Tokyo to take a tour of all their top of the line Japanese toilets. And the Japanese toilets are the ones with the 24 different functions. And then the otoe sound princess to make sure that there's no toilet noises that are heard by anybody nearby. And they're like the bidet functions can have so much variation and they're so fancy. And I think nearly $10,000 for a neo rests, the neo rests is the top of line. There are many, many toto toilets, but I think they're awesome. I didn't realize that this was kind of weirding anybody out. Obviously bidets are standard in the Middle East and we were on a casual chat Doree a few weeks ago where we were talking about the kind of rich that I want to be is tennis club membership rich. Right? Totally. But I take that back, the kind of rich I want to be is by myself, a toto, neo rests toilet rich with all of the bidet functions. Because even if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't spend it on a toilet because I'm not that kind of rich. But they're so awesome. And what you can do is obviously get the bidet attachment, which it sounds like what our listener has done.

Doree:                Yes.

Elise:                   And I don't know, I don't know the social reason why it might seem strange in the United States, except that it's just not part of our culture. I mean, we do the worst kind of wiping, which is actually the least clean kind of wiping, which is wiping with dry paper.

Doree:                Totally. I think it has to do with Americans and squeamishness around anything having to do with butts. So I think, I honestly just think that's what it is.

Elise:                   It's our puritanical roots.

Doree:                Yes, yes I do. I think that's, and also big toilet paper.

Elise:                   Oh yeah. Big toilet paper wants to keep us buying those rolls and rolls

Doree:                And rolls. Yes. Charming. Those super expensive triple rolls when

Elise:                   Wipes are much better.

Doree:                Right. Well wipes, I mean, wipes are problematic in their own way because people flush them even though flush, they're not supposed to be flush. But if everyone got a bidet and there was no need for toilet paper, what's charming going to do? You know what I'm saying? So I feel like it's in their best interest to keep people thinking, oh, but days are kind of weird.

Elise:                   Yes. So when we do get squeamish about things, we have to ask who benefits. Exactly.

Doree:                I'm just saying. Alright, we have one more voicemail on a totally different topic. Here we go.

Voicemail:          Oh my God. I was just listening to the mini app and Doree pronounced my favorite tomato sauce from Costco and I realized, am I pronouncing it wrong? I pronounce it Rao, which I realized sounds like a cat. Meow. Okay. I dunno how to say it if I'm saying it wrong, I dunno if I can change it. I like meowing.

Doree:                It is. I also used to think it was rao's because the Chinese surname, Chao is sometimes spelled CHAO and I think it would make sense for it to be pronounced Tao Rao, but it's not. It's Rao. So there we have it, but this listener's world was rocked

Elise:                   Reo, not Rao. Correct. Wow. Doesn't make sense. No, I only knew it was REOs because people in my life have pronounced it REOs. I never really thought it through that much. Not like they run a bunch of commercials on the radio or on television where they're pronouncing their brand name. Are they?

Doree:                Right? Well, I think actually

Elise:                   We only know through word of mouth.

Doree:                I feel like they did run a commercial actually. And that was how a lot of people learned that it was actually pronounced REOs.

Elise:                   I had this discovery during the Super Bowl with Temu.

Doree:                I

Elise:                   Always thought it was Temu. But then in the commercial, remember they were seeing Temu

Doree:                And there was a whole thing with vrbo. Remember people were, it's not V-R-B-O-V-B-O, but their commercial was like, VRBO was like,

Elise:                   What? Okay. That's how the marketers wanted it pronounced.

Doree:                Exactly.

Elise:                   We'll go with it.

Doree:                Alright, well Elise, that about wraps it up for today. Thanks everyone for calling and emailing and texting us. We appreciate

Elise:                   You. Keep 'em coming.

Doree:                Yep. Keep 'em coming and I'll talk to you soon.

Elise:                   Bye. Bye.

Doree:                Bye.

 *Transcripts are AI generated.