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Mini-Ep 369: Croissant-Level Flakiness

Hello lovelies! This week, Kate and Doree hear from listeners looking for a dream BB cream, receive a Vitamin C serum rec, and discuss how to handle skin picking tendencies. 

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Transcript

Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer, 

Doree: And I am Doree Shafrir. 

Kate: And we are not experts. 

Doree: We're not, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums. 

Kate: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. 

Doree: But please do remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts, and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed. 

Kate: If you want to reach us, our voicemail number is (781) 591-0390, and our email is Forever35podcast@gmail.com. 

Doree: And you can visit our website Forever35podcast.com. For links to everything we mentioned on the show, do follow us on Instagram @Forever35podcast and join the Forever35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/Forever35podcast. The password is serums. 

Kate: You can also sign up for the Forever35 newsletter. I don't know why I had to make a sexy moan there, but the newsletter is pretty steamy. 

Doree: I mean. I appreciated it. 

Kate: Our newsletters sign up can be found at Forever35podcast.com/newsletter. You can shop all our products mentioned on the show at shopmy.us/forever35, and please do not, oh wait. Please don't forget, we have a live show happening on Wednesday, February 22nd at 5:00 PM Pacific, 8:00 PM Eastern. You can get tickets to join us at moment.co/forever35 tickets are $10. The show will be available on demand for a week after it airs. So if you can't join us live, you can still get a ticket to catch the recorded version. There's also going to be an after party that you can join us for. So end the night with us kind of having some final thoughts and intentions in a cozy little intimate gathering. And we're also going to be collaborating with the wonderful folks at Balance Bound on some exclusive merch. And look, while you're at it, go check out the merch we already have over at balancebound.co/shop/forever35. Just go to Balance Bound and check out all the amazing things they offer. And also, selfishly, I wanted to share that I'm doing an event in LA on Wednesday, February 8th at 6:00 PM at Chevalier's book Sellers in the Larchmont neighborhood. 

Doree: That is this Wednesday everybody. 

Kate: Look, I know it's soon. I know it's nighttime, I know it's rush hour, but come join me. I'm going to be joined by my friend Erin LaRosa, Doree's, former coworker who writes hilarious, very sexy, romantic comedy books. And I also, Doree, I don't know if I told you this, but I'm going to do something a little weird. 

Doree: What are you going to do? 

Kate: I'm going to invite everyone who attends to share their mailing address with me, and I'm going to write them a personalized thank you note for coming. 

Doree: Oh my gosh, that's so nice. 

Kate: Just kind of as my own personal gratitude practice, a way to say thank you for supporting my new paperback release, for supporting me, for coming. So if you want to get a note from me, personalized little handwritten note that will surely be very silly and goofy and weird and fun. Come see me 

Doree: That's so sweet. What a lovely offer, Kate. 

Kate: Well hopefully I'll be sending, I believe I'll be sending you one because you have very kindly are going to try to join and be there. And if not, that's okay. You've got a busy life and I honor that 

Doree: Indeed. 

Kate: That was a lot. I know, but there we go. Woo Baby sippin my tea. 

Doree: Okay, that's your actual tea, not gossip. Gossip. 

Kate: No, I did. I was at a hotel and I did, I was never more like my grandma than in this moment where the hotel had tea bags and little like coffee bags for guests in the room that were free. And I took them all, put them in my bag and left with them. They were complimentary. Oh, and I, this is my grandma and I know it was many of our grandmas, but I had this moment where I was like, I honor your memory. Thank you for this influence. These tea bags are mine now, but I also got them because sometimes if we record at my house in person, Doree, you like an afternoon cup of coffee and I don't always have it available. So now you could try one of these coffee bags. There's like fancy coffee bags. 

Doree: Wow. Okay. I look forward to that. 

Kate: I was thinking of you. 

Doree: Well, Kate, should we kick things off with a text? 

Kate: Yeah. Here is something, a quote, longtime listener first time texter wrote us. They said, just listen to mini ep 363. Also, can we just stop and say we've done 363 mini episodes? What the fuck? That's a lot. 

Doree: It is, 

Kate: And I wanted to thank you for including the etiquette question from the listener who does not want to be addressed as misses. I have a similar yet slightly different issue. I am a doctor, a clinical psychologist, and it drives me up the wall when people address mail as miss or misses. I recently received a save the date from my partner's cousin that addressed me as misses and your response gave me the courage to gently yet firmly correct their error previously. I worried doing so would make me sound conceited. Love you both and thanks for all the years of great advice. Yeah, I mean, wow, that narrative of like, oh, it's conceited has been long standing and actually I think you make a really great point. This is how you preferred to be addressed and so I request that you honor that. I don't even request, I demand. 

Doree: Wait. Also, not only does this person prefer to be addressed this way, but they actually have the qualifications to be addressed this way. I could be, I prefer to be addressed as doctor, but I'm not actually a doctor. 

Kate: Right. This is their professional title 

Doree: And have some respect people. 

Kate: Great listener. I love this inspiring anecdote. 

Doree: Thank you so much. Alright, we received another text on a different topic. Hi, Kat and Dor. I recently posted in the Facebook group about my chronic finger picking problem, which has been around for at least 30 of my 38 years. I received tons of comments from fellow pickers with lots of advice and recs, so I'd love to hear you both talk about this. It's absolutely manifestation of anxiety and I never know I'm doing it until it's too late and I've wrecked my hands. Thumb and pointer only. Thanks so much. Love you both dearly. 

Kate: Yeah, I mean, let's open this conversation up to listeners. This is something that I do and I didn't even realize it and it's all connected to mental health issues. I've talked about how I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I think this is certainly a part of that. And I know Doree, you've done, you've talked about this too, you, you've dabbled in the old skin picking, 

Doree: Yeah. Not fingers, but pimples and ingrown hairs. 

Kate: Yeah, I definitely think it's anxiety. There's a self soothing aspect for me that I know. I find I'll do kind of this and my therapist helped me kind of figure it out. I'll do kind of a physical body scan and search for things to pick at. I do a lot of scab picking too. So I definitely think it's worth people reflecting on what it is, what it means in their life and how it manifests. I've always wanted to get one of those sensory stones that you can pick the little things off of. I've just never bought one, but I've always wanted to get one of those. Have you seen those? 

Doree: No. 

Kate: They look so satisfying. There's, there's a place called pick and peel stones.com that makes them, but I, I've seen them elsewhere too, but they're porous rocks that you put a filler on and then you can pick it off almost like you're picking at a scab. 

Doree: Oh, wow. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Doree: That's very interesting. I don't know if this would work for this listener or how it might work for this listener, but for me, one thing that really helped was removing the temptation to pick, and I've talked about this before. So that meant instead of getting a bikini wax, which would lead to ingrown hairs that I would then have to pick 

Kate: smart. 

Doree: I got laser hair removal and eliminated the ingrown hairs. Also, it's also a motivation to take good care of my skin because then I don't have pimples to pick on my face. And obviously some of that is out of your control if you are a pimple popper. But to the extent that you can, I think it's worth exploring different options. Now for your hand, I know this might sound farfetched or extreme, but could you wear gloves? 

Kate: I don't think it's farfetched. I mean, it depends. It's hard when you're typing at your, I guess when you're typing at your computer. 

Doree: I also don't, when someone says they are a finger picker, what does that mean exactly? 

Kate: I know what it means. You're picking the skin all around that nail and underneath those cuticles you're getting in there. Oh, I know it. Sorry. A little carried away there. 

Doree: So wearing like fingerless gloves wouldn't help because you would still have access to your nails. 

Kate: I suspect the nail area is where the picking, I know in my experience with the finger pickers in my life where it goes, and I'm a nail chewer too, so I understand the allure of the fingertip Still. It's a spot I'm often trying to chop on. Okay, well no, it's really hard. 

Doree: But yeah, this person said they got a lot of advice and recs from listeners and that they want us to talk about this. I am not totally clear on what they would like us to address, but I hope we addressed whatever it is they were hoping for. And I throw this back out to the listeners to talk about as well. Kate, we need to take a short break. 

Kate: Alrighty. 

Doree: So let's do that. Okay. We are back with an email. Hi, Kate and Doree. I'm in need of a new BB cream for years. I've used Bobby Brown BB cream. I guess I've worn it so little these last few years that the product has now been discontinued since the line has been sold. I happen to be at a Nordstrom this weekend, so stop by the stopped at the counter and no luck. I wear so little makeup, but this is a product I've sworn by any recs welcome. Thanks. 

Kate: I'm also looking for a BB cream. I'm not loving the CoverGirl product. I've been trying, so I am. Okay. I'm also open to suggestions. 

Doree: Okay 

Kate: So, if we want to start a BB cream party, people throwing out some BB creams, oh, I'd be happy to share. So we could help this listener. And also selfishly help me. 

Doree: So I have not used, I don't really use BB cream. I have to admit, I know that people like the IT cosmetics CC cream, 

Kate: Not a BB, A CC. 

Doree: Not a BB, a CC. CC creams have lighter coverage than BB creams. So CC creams might be a CC cream might be not enough coverage for this listener. 

Kate: I want to try Saie beauties tinted moisturizer. Their Slip Tint. 

Doree: S A I E 

Kate: S A I E. I've seen this recommended a lot. This is steering me away from my drugstore commitment, but I was like, well, for the research of the pod, I must try it. So I have a Sephora cart full of stuff that I want to get and that is one of the things. But I haven't tried it. I've just heard really good things about it, but I haven't dipped a toe. 

Doree: Okay, well no, there's a BB cream, a drugstore BB cream that might be worth trying. Kate, that I've heard good things about again, have not tried it myself, is the Elf BB cream. 

Kate: Oh, good idea. That's actually a really good idea and I need to return some things to target, so I'm going to get on that. There's also, I have used and really liked Pacifica's, a light BB cream and their CC cream, and I really liked both of them. So that's another drugstore line brand, but if someone's got some Nordstrom-y choices out there, lets hear 'em. 

Doree: Okay, 

Kate: We've got another skin question, skincare question. I'm hoping you'll be able to help me with a longtime struggle. I have very dry skin. Whatever you just imagined, it's drier than that. Imagine a croissant level of flakiness. I cannot find a foundation that works. Could you or listeners help? I've tried so many and I start flaking after an hour or two or the product can easily be wiped off and gets on everything in sight, closed glasses, et cetera. I'm looking for something medium to full coverage. I have scarring I want to cover. I've tried a lot of things already and I'm currently working my way through IT Cosmetics options with no luck. There are just so many options out there in case this seems relevant. I'm also using First Aid beauty cream plus CeraVe sunscreen as a first layer. I tried face oil, which I love over a cream at night, but wow, that was a terrible idea. Like applying liquid foundation to a mirror and trying to rub it in tinted moisturizers have not been moisturizing enough. Please help. I'm getting desperate. 

Doree: Okay, this is an interesting conundrum. This sounds counterintuitive, but I would maybe try putting fewer products on your skin. Maybe instead of the moisturizer plus the sunscreen plus the foundation, I would maybe start with a moisturizing primer and then a foundation with sunscreen. 

Kate: Yeah. I don't want to sound condescending listener, because your skin, and we only get a short email from you, but have you talked to a dermatologist first about the dryness and slash maybe a dermatologist could recommend a line of products that would be specifically geared and helpful for your skin. A line of makeup products because I, croissant level dry flakiness is dry, 

Doree: Very dry. 

Kate: And so I don't completely feel comfortable being, try this when I feel like I'm not an expert in your skin. I want someone who's an expert in looking at your skin to say, Hey, this is what's going to not just feel good on your skin, but also not irritate it further or not dry it out further. So I don't know, maybe you're already doing this and I apologize if I'm speaking out of turn now. I'm going to throw out something that I keep seeing on TikTok, which is I know is not helpful. I'm also trying to get my hands on this Maybelline's super stay 24-hour hybrid powder foundation. I don't know if it's going to be hydrating, but let me tell you, the folks putting this on their face and my TikTok feed is a, it's a real wowwy zowwy. So this is also something that's on my to buy list. 

Doree: Okay. I have another suggestion. And first of all, Kate, I really like your suggestion to go to the dermatologist, but my other suggestion is to, I know you say that you have scar you want to cover, but I wonder if you could try not wearing foundation for a little while and just trying to deal with the dryness of your skin. Maybe there's something about the makeup that is not helping the dryness and I think we need to kind of deal with that first would be my instinct. 

Kate: Same feeling. I want to deal with this croissant, croissant skin, 

Doree: Putting that out there, 

Kate: But maybe somebody has, has the same skin and has a thought. So, let us know. 

Doree: Okay, Kate, we have a voicemail. 

Voicemail: Hello. Lovely. This is not in response to a question or a call out and quite frankly, I've been fighting it for a while. But today as I was doing my skin care, I finally just needed to call in and rave about La Roche Posays Vitamin C Serum. I got it for free through this program called Influencer. It's actually really cool. You get free products to review and don't need a significant following or anything, so I got for free and I'm obsessed with it. I don't really know if it's doing anything for my skin, cause hashtag skincare but it smells fantastic. It goes on so smooth and it's just an experience every morning and a great experience at that. It's a great way to start my day and it's more than I really want to spend on a serum that I don't know what it's doing, but it's such a sensory experience that I think I'm going just cause it's wonderful. So La Roche Posay Vitamin C Serum, had to rave about it simply because I've been trying not to and it keeps back in there. Okay, you too are fantastic. And I love Okay. Bye-bye now. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: I love an endorsement. Lay it on us. Adding it to the list. Adding it to the list. Oh my. Alright Doree, let's take another break. 

Doree: Okay, let's do it. We'll be right back. All right, we are back and we have another voicemail. 

Voicemail: Hi, Kate and Doree. I had a pause the pod moment, felt the need to call in and share after Kate shared that her word is gentle and a lot of it was birthed from her recovery from long Covid. And just now she's seeing it kind of everywhere. I have not like a self-care or, well, I guess it's self-care practice but I have been honing my self-care practice and being gentle with myself since I was 25. I'm going to be 35 in February, so it's, it's been almost 10 years, which is crazy to think about. But when I was 25, I was diagnosed with my first autoimmune disease and similar to what Kates going through, really had to reevaluate my life and be very gentle with myself and figure out how to conserve energy as well as how to live my life within the confines of this new illness, which it sounds like Kate, you're doing. And also reevaluate my mental health and how that impacts my overall physical health and wellbeing. And then this past year had a similar for lack of a better word, come to Jesus situation where I had to do it all over again. Cause I got diagnosed with my second autoimmune disease and then I also got pregnant. So this whole idea of being gentle and really taking care of yourself and putting yourself first is something that not only have I worked on for 10 years, but also continue to work on because it's consistently changes and evolved and means different things to you and your body as you grow. So that means very different things for a lot of different people. But I just wanted to say, Hey, I think you're doing a great job. It's really, really hard to deal with a new chronic illness and figure it out, especially when there's not a lot of information out there about it, which I feel like covid and autoimmune diseases are very similar in that respect. So hang in there and thank you so much for being open and honest about your journey with it. And Doree, you are such a wonderful and supportive friend for just being there and not judging Kate or questioning what she's feeling or symptoms wise because it's just very common. So you guys are awesome and give me hope in the world. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Love you. Bye. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: Now I just want to point out, not only are you supportive, but when I first started putting together all these weird symptoms I was having, and being like, what the fuck is wrong with me? You were the first person to say to me, have you considered long Covid? 

Doree: Was I the first one? 

Kate: The first one. 

Doree: Wow. 

Kate: The first one. Yeah. Im slowly getting to the bottom. 

Doree: Okay. Well, I'm a medical detective. 

Kate: You are! This is why on wedding invitations, maybe you should put Detective Dr. Doree Shafrir. 

Doree: I mean, I really should. 

Kate: Yeah. I'm working on it. 

Doree: It gives it on In all seriousness, it doesn't give me joy to know that you probably have long COVID 

Kate: Yeah, I know. But I appreciate it. Never even dawned on me. I think because a lot of the conversations, and I think it's starting to change, but about how long covid presents, it's so varied. And I think oftentimes we only hear a few things. And come to find out, for me, it seems to be presenting as a histamine intolerance which is not even something I knew existed before this experience. So I have slowly digging into what that looks like, but also it has really, I don't want to say forced, but really helped me change direction on how I take care of myself and what it means to really listen to my body, not listen to what an sleep influencer says we should all be doing. And then how I'm going to try to do it. But really, I said something to my doctor was like, I tried to get up at six, but right now I can't stop waking up at seven and I go to bed at 11. She's, it sounds like your body really needs eight, at least eight hours of sleep. And I was like, oh, that's what it's telling me. Oh, okay. You mean it's not going to change if I keep trying to force it to wake up an hour earlier? So I'm try to really listen. 

Doree: I mean, not to get us too far afield, but I do think that, and I don't know if it's because of awareness of COVID and long COVID, but it does seem to me there is starting to be more of an awareness of how rest affects our bodies, actual rest. And I just feel like we started to see all this stuff from people who study COVID and people who had covid just pointing out that even exercising when you have covid or you're recovering from covid is often not good for your body. Your body actually needs that physical rest. And that's something that in our society, we're just not programmed to do. And I think that that's a really important just sort of cultural shift. 

Kate: A hundred percent agree, Doree, not only are we not, and capitalism isn't set up for rest, I mean, look, there are people, call the Nat ministry, they're the experts on this. 

Doree: Totally. Totally. But even getting on a Zoom when you are sick with covid using your brain, I just remember a friend who had a traumatic brain injury, and in the course of her quite long recovery, she was like, I can't even watch. Watching TV is hard for me. Being in a room with more than one person is hard for me. And in that situation, she was really forced to pay attention to the signals that her body was sending her. On a much less consequential note. But anecdotally, a week or two ago, I felt the telltale signs of a possible cold coming on. And I tested negative for Covid, and I was just like, oh, here we go. I'm getting a cold. But I was like, I'm also really fucking tired. And I started getting in bed at eight o'clock, like I think I texted you. 

Kate: Yes, you did. You were like, reporting from I'm already in bed. 

Doree: Yeah. Yes. And there were a few nights in a row that I went to bed super early. And a lot of times when I try to go to bed super early, it just doesn't work. I'll lie in bed and I'm just not tired enough. But these times I would get into bed, I would start to read, and within 10 minutes I would be like, I cannot keep my eyes open. I was falling asleep by nine o'clock. 

Kate: Wow. 

Doree: And I didn't get sick. The cold never materialized. And I was like, huh, this is interesting. Perhaps the two have nothing to do with each other. Maybe I wasn't going to get sick anyway. Who knows? But I don't think it hurt that when I felt this kind of coming on, I was like, you know what? I'm going to just take a step back for a few days. 

Kate: Yea. 

Doree: So I don't know, it's, it's all interesting. 

Kate: How do you listen to your bodies and how do you do it in this world that is essentially fighting against us from doing so. on every level. It's not, I mean, Gwyneth has it easy and can do it, but for most of us, 

Doree: I mean, I just had to do it this week. I pulled a muscle playing tennis on wednesday, last week. 

Kate: On your calf, yea. 

Doree: And for a couple days it really hurt. And I just thought back to when I hurt my foot, my ankle last year, and how for the first couple weeks I was still getting on the Peloton, resting it, but not really resting it. I wasn't doing anything high impact, but I was still riding a bike when I probably shouldn't have been. And I remember finally when I finally went to the doctor, he was like, no, you shouldn't be on your Peloton. Like, what are you doing? But I hadn't think I had quite yet gotten out of that mindset. It's hard. It's really hard. 

Kate: Its really hard. It's really hard. Yeah. I mean, breaking my hand has been a real lesson in healing and rest. Still learning it, but it's been a lesson. Well, Doree, let's wrap up here on this note and say thank you to everybody for calling and writing in. We really appreciate you and we will talk to you again soon. Bye.