Mini-Ep 349: The Boum Boum Room
Kate and Doree discuss meeting podcast listeners and good dental health. Then, they hear from people about the stigma of being on meds long term and the challenges that come up with body image during the holidays. Plus: a whole new genre of shower prods they’ve never discussed!
Mentioned in this Episode
To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at forever35podcast@gmail.com.
Visit forever35podcast.com for links to everything they mention on the show or shopmyshelf.us/forever35.
Follow the podcast on Twitter (@Forever35Pod) and Instagram (@Forever35Podcast) and join the Forever35 Facebook Group (Password: Serums).
Sign up for the newsletter! At forever35podcast.com/newsletter.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links.
Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to you Forever35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer,
Doree: And I'm Doree Shafri.
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: We're not, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: Welcome one and all to this, a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
Doree: We do. But please do. Remember, we are podcast host. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: If you wanna reach us, our voicemail number is 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0, and our email is Forever35podcast@gmail.com.
Doree: And you can visit our website forever35podcast.com. For links to everything we mention on the show, follow us on Twitter @Forever35 pod on Instagram @Forever35podcast and join the Forever35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/forever35podcast. The password is serums. We also have a newsletter that you can sign up for at forever35podcast.com/newsletter. We also run classified ads in the newsletter, so if you wanna reach our podcast audience, but maybe podcast advertising is not right for you or it's too expensive you can check us out in the newsletter. You can also shop everything that we endorse on the show at shopmy.us/forever35.
Kate: I gotta put my Boum, Boum, Boum, Boum stuff up there. <laugh> like what it's called. I wanna say boom, boom room.
Doree: Yeah, you d id,
Kate: But that's not what it's called
Doree: isn't it? Milk? Boum Boum Milk,
Kate: Boum Boum Milk. Yeah. What a name. Boum Boum Milk Boom.
Doree: What a name.
Kate: I traveled with it. I traveled with it this weekend because I was like, this makes sense in terms of packing really light, but wanting to moisturize dry skin. So the boom boom room came with me to Boston, Massachusetts, the boom
Doree: Boom room, the
Kate: Boom boom, the boom boom room, sorry, the Boum Boum Milk.
Doree: How was your trip to Boston?
Kate: Well, a quick recap. It was really wonderful. I was on a panel about serendipity and romance at the Boston Book Festival, which was just wonderful. Just being at a book festival felt so exhilarating. It just felt how cool, I don't want to say the world's back because it's not, and I wanna be conscious of how we present these things in a covid continued world <affirmative>. But I felt comfortable with the precautions I was taking to be there. And it was really just really wonderful. I went, attended another panel, I got to go meet other authors, and it was just really fun. And there were a bunch of Forever35 listeners who came to the panel that I was at Doree.
Doree: Oh Gosh. That, Wait, thats so cool.
Kate: It was really sweet. And one listener who I haven't been able to track down first initial C I don't wanna just say their name on the pod, but they brought me baked goods, which I, Yeah, yeah. Wow. And I'm dealing with this kind of gluten intolerance situation, so I'm kind of mindful about gluten. It doesn't it, I have a very mild reaction most of the time. But anyway, I was like, I don't care. First of all, this whole week I was like, I'm just gonna deal with whatever happens because I want a lobster roll. I, I just <affirmative> went for it. And this listener brought me baked goods from Flour, which is a bakery in Boston that I had never heard of, but my aunt was like, Ooh. And they were so good. I pounded them. Like that night I got back to my hotel room and I was like, they were hit the spot. So special thank you to that listener.
Doree: Oh, that's so nice,
Kate: but so many Oh and Doree. Oh my God. Two people, podcast listeners who came to the signing after were like, I almost brought an eggplant, but then I thought it would be weird. And I was like, I need you to know. It would never be weird. They were like, I didn't know what you would do with the eggplant. I was like, I would find something, but I just want you to know that your request for eggplants resonated. Did anyone commit all the way? No, But that's a lot to ask of a stranger, right?
Doree: It is.
Kate: That's a lot to ask. But I will say, if you ever bring an eggplant to anything, it will be received with love.
Doree: I'm glad that it crossed their minds.
Kate: Two different, two different people were like, Hey, I almost brought an eggplant. I know. Anyway,
Doree: So funny.
Kate: Anyway, it really meant a lot to me that people came. So thank you to everybody who was able to make it. I really appreciate it. It was really, really fun. So
Doree: That's what I was enjoyed. I enjoyed kind of following along on your trip.
Kate: Well, the city was also basically trying to get me to cheat on Los Angeles with it. It was like crisp. The sky was a painted robin's egg blue.
Doree: It was one of those fall days.
Kate: It was the whole time I was there, the crisp scent of the leaves swirling and the cold air at night is the city pulsed around me. And it was just, yeah, yeah. Really, really did all the things to me, but did a number. I made it back home, did a number on me. I'm happy to be back tired, just trying to catch up by hydrating and spraying my Boum Boum Milk on my face, <laugh>. Oh, okay. I'm gonna save this for another podcast. But I have been using that Kitsch hair curler thing, that tube, that soft tube that you wrap your hair around dry.
Doree: Oh, Yes, yes, yes.
Kate: This thing works so well. I truly am passionate about this product. But anyway, I'm gonna save that deep dive for another day so we can get to some listener comments, questions.
Doree: Oh my goodness. Okay. We got a text. This text says, The office I work at has a 25% employee toothbrushing at work rate, and I am among the brushers. Wow.
Kate: Okay. How many people do you think work at this office?
Doree: I was just gonna say, I feel like I need more information. Is it four people and you are, you are the one brusher, or is it a big office? Do you have a hundred people and you have made careful note of who goes and brushes their teeth?
Kate: 25 comrades in the lunch tooth brushing.
Doree: Yeah. Were you ever an office tooth brusher?
Kate: what is going on at this office?
Doree: No. Were you?
Kate: No, but I shared an office with one,
Doree: That's right.
Kate: Yeah. And he was so diligent and I really admired it slash it made me feel like, Oh god, what am I letting linger in my mouth? But then there's just the whole, you're brushing your teeth in front of your colleagues thing. Is that weird? I don't know. I don't know. It's not weird, I guess.
Doree: Yeah. I mean, look, I don't think it's, It's that weird. It was just never a thing that I did.
Kate: I mean, I barely flossed until about 10 years ago,
Doree: So, Okay. Better late than never.
Kate: That was the
Doree: I will like, Don't you feel like once you start flossing, you can't go back?
Kate: Yes, but it took me years to really get into the habit. Now I am there where I'm so tired and I don't wanna floss, but then I'm just like, Ugh. But truly, I think I've told you this, when my mom died, my mom was a hardcore flosser and I was like, The one promise I'm gonna make to my mom is that I'm gonna floss. So I started flossing after she died. Yeah. May her memory remain every time I flos. I mean, I think of her always, but especially when I'm cleaning gunk outta my teeth.
Okay, here's another tooth related question or comment. Hi there. Not sure if you will speak again on the issue of the partner with the bad breath, but my partner also struggles with this. I invested in a water pick water flosser and a nice electric toothbrush for myself, but they also came with extra separate heads so he could use it as well. I'm not sure if it was the excitement of a new gadget or just how much easier it is to get a good clean, but I've noticed a big difference in his oral hygiene. Okay. So Doree, do you have a water pick?
Doree: No, I don't.
Kate: You don't, right?
Doree: No.
Kate: Water picks are an item, which there's a specific category of things that I think at Costco, at least for me, which are things I almost always buy but never do. And that would be a water pick. I always go and look at them and then I'm like, What am I doing? What? I don't need this but Do I need a water pick? We've had people way in, listeners way in about water picks and they are pretty adamant fans.
Doree: Yeah. I do feel like it's, again, one of those things that once you start doing <laugh>,
Kate: Right, then you're traveling with a water pick.
Doree: Yeah. Then you're like all in on the water pick.
Kate: Oh, I wanna do it so badly. I'm looking.
Doree: So do it. No, no one's holding you back,
Kate: Kate. No. And what is holding me back? It's expensive. It's a hundred. I'm looking on Costco's website right now, and this travel one is $115 and I just am putting it, The price puts me off. If someone can convince me of the need for a water pick, I will. I'm open.
Doree: I mean, I think in terms of spending the money, it's like it's one of those things where your cost per use ends up being very low.
Kate: That's fair. That's fair. The other thing is a lot of them come with this little water container, and I'm not sure how much room it takes up on your bathroom counter. I'm gonna need to do more research.
Doree: Okay. Do more research. Get back to us.
Kate: All right.
Doree: Let us know.
Kate: Why don't you take this next email before we take a break?
Doree: Okay. I'm 33 and I've had two kids in the last three years. My anxiety and depression took a dive when I got pregnant, I was put on an SSRI medication during pregnancy and felt a lot of stigma for it, even though my doctors agreed it was the best and safest choice. It had been almost three years on medication, and I thought, I'm cured and tried to come off. Well, that was a disaster. And now I'm on the struggle bus of getting back on my meds, but it is a slow go. I feel like a failure at times that my body can't do this on its own, that all the deep breathing in the world doesn't solve it. I need medication to keep me healthy. Just hearing you guys talk about being on medication and don't have plans to get off gives me hope that I can live the rest of my life on this medication and not feel bad about it, and hopefully live a long, happy and healthy one. Yeah.
Kate: Yeah. Normalize taking medication for a long time.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: Slash maybe for the rest of our lives.
Doree: I mean, is that bad? I don't think.
Kate: No, I don't think it is at all. And I do think there's always this kind of conversation a lot of times about mental health medication that ultimately then you're gonna work to get off of it. And for some people that is great, but yeah, that's not gonna be the solution for everybody are gonna be on this for the rest of our lives. And that is great.
Doree: Just is what it is.
Kate: Yeah. And I want thank you for saying this listener, and I'm glad the conversation helps, but I had this moment many years ago in therapy where I was like, Oh, therapy isn't gonna fix this. I need to be medicated. I just had this moment of just, it was a revelation. And I think it sounds like you've had that feeling where you're like, Oh, like you said, not all the deep breathing in the world is gonna solve it. It's not. Yeah. You are caring for yourself with medication. There's nothing, No shame.
Doree: None whatsoever.
Kate: We are medicated and proud.
Doree: Take it from us, <laugh>. All right, Kate, let's take a break and when we come back we have some voicemails.
Kate: All right,
Doree: Kate, we are back.
Kate: Doree, we can I just interject and say we got this really funny text, I meant to put it into this episode. Can I read it to you real quick?
Doree: Yeah, totally. Okay.
Kate: They said, Hi Kat and Dor, you don't need to put this in an app, but I had to let you know that every time you come back from an ad break, I think about that time Doree said We are B secretly. I always hope she will bring this back.
Doree: <laugh>. Oh, we are B.
Kate: We are B. So fyi. Oh my gosh. Just put that in the back burner that you might need to revisit that phrase.
Doree: That is really funny. All right, I will put that on the back burner. Okay, here is a voicemail.
Voicemail: Hi Kat and Dor. I am a new mom and super struggling with having no time to do any of the things that I used to do. Two of those things being putting on lotion and showering. So my two questions are I just learned about in shower lotions or in shower moisturizers. Do those work so strange because I bought one and you're supposed to put it on in the shower and then rinse it off and it's supposed to replace lotion supposedly. So I got it because once I get out of the shower, I become mom again and anyone could get come get me. So after I get outta the shower, time is up for mommy. So in the shower, I was hoping that would be a good replacement. So yeah, just curious. I don't think I've heard about it on here yet. And if I have, Sorry the other one is going back to the days where I don't get to shower is it doing anything to put on moisturizer on dry skin? I'm not able to wash my face. I'm not able to wash my body. Is putting on lotion, soaking in, or is it just kind of sitting there? Yeah, so hopefully I get some answers to these. I think about it every time, but never call in. Cause again, no time <laugh>. So thank you. Love you guys.
Doree: Well, I think I can speak to the second question.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: I mean, I think the answer is yes, it does help to moisturize when your skin is dry.
Kate: Totally. And I think maybe this list starts asking if it absorbs onto dry skin. And I believe the answer is yes when it is a water based lotion or moisturizer <affirmative>. But with oil, I think you want your skin to be wet.
Doree: Okay, that's a good distinction.
Kate: Have you ever used any of these in shower moisturizers? I'm kind of familiar with the concept, but I don't think I've ever, I've never used one specifically for this.
Doree: I have not.
Kate: I see a lot of drugstore brands make them like NIVEA has one. Curel I think has one. I definitely, now I'm going to pick one of these up. Olay in shower body lotion. Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna say that yes, this works. I mean I grew up always having baby oil in the shower. I would bring baby oil in and then, oh, I put that on my body when it was wet right before I got out of the shower. So I think it's kind of in the same,
Doree: Right, you're right. You're putting it on right before you get out. It's not like you're putting it on in the middle of the shower.
Kate: I think some of these you possibly do rinse off again cuz I've not used them. I don't know for sure. I've also used Glossier makes something called Body Hero, which is an oil wash. And I've used this, which is a body wash that goes on an oil foam form and then it kind of foams. But that's a little bit different. But yeah, I mean these sound good shortcuts. It's like yes, a hundred percent.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: And even are they effective? I'm gonna go on a limb and say yeah, to what extent, who knows, but who cares if they're saving you time and you feel like they're getting the job done, get into it.
Doree: Go nuts.
Kate: But I am going to try now try one because Oh, say Jergens has one. Ooh, I'm very intrigued. Ooh, Shea Moisture has one body conditioner. Okay. There's a lot to get into here. This is not a product area I've touched before.
Doree: So yeah, I was gonna say, this is a whole genre of prod that we have not really talked about.
Kate: How have we missed this? How have we missed this? Do you moisturize after the shower? Are you actually good about that podcast?
Doree: Usually, I try to. I didn't today. Sometimes I'm feeling lazy. Yeah. Don't feel like doing it. But other times I'm like, okay, so
Kate: Great. Yeah, that's story in my life too. Oh right. A text. Hi Kat and Dor. Love you. Love the pod. I've been really struggling with body image lately in anticipation of seeing friends and family for the holidays. I'm feeling the urge to jump back into diet culture, even though I know that it's total bullshit. Anyway, just wondering if anyone else feels that way before holidays or big events.
Doree: oh my gosh, I think this is so normal.
Kate: I had this really intensely a few years ago where I had, I could feel my body changing. I was gaining weight and I was one of my best friends was getting married and we were going to her wedding and I was feeling almost like I didn't wanna go because
Doree: Oh wow.
Kate: And it was all constructed in my head. It wasn't anything that anyone had said or done, but it was a really overwhelming feeling of fear and anticipation and dread. So I can say yes, I feel this way all the time. And I also think if we do get sucked back into diet culture, practices have grace with yourself and know that that's part of the process of being a human. No, totally don't think there should be this purity as there's no more. Yeah. How do I phrase this? You know what I'm saying? Right. It's okay if that happens. You're being present with yourself and gentle and have grace. Grace if you have those feelings or if you do look back into that behavior.
Doree: Yeah, I mean I think it's worth remembering that for most of us, this has all been stuff that we have internalized over our entire lives. And now that maybe in the past few years we have more awareness of it doesn't mean that it's overnight. You just suddenly become okay with everything. It's a practice. And I think having grace with yourself and being kind to yourself when you do find yourself falling back into these old ways of thinking is really important. Not demonizing yourself for having these thoughts.
Kate: Good point, Doree. Yeah. And I think one thing I always read is your weight is the least interesting thing about you. Easier to say that. And I think that's, it's kind of a generalized phrase, but I do think ultimately that does help me kind of refocus a little bit when I hear that.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: Huh.
Doree: Well, Kate, should we hear another voicemail?
Kate: Yes.
Voicemail: Hi Kate and Doree. I'm just calling about, I just listened to episode 347. It's Your body. And I just wanted to share a really sweet story. So I have a 14 year old son who is going through a phase of wanting extremely long shaggy hair. And ever since school started, I've kind of been nudging him towards, Hey dude, we need to get a haircut here. Pictures are coming, things we're trying to get back into the normal routine of school. Let's get some haircuts here. And he called me out on it and said, Mom, you're projecting your body issues onto me. And I just was so excited and proud of him in that moment. He totally pushed back when I was critiquing a body image and he was right and know what have the long hair, I'm done. I've done what I needed to do. And I'm so proud I was able to teach him a lesson that nobody should make him feel like that about his body image. So win-win for me and I'm really proud. Anyways, I just thought I would share that story with you guys. You guys are great. Thanks so much. Love you.
Doree: I love this story on a couple different levels. For one thing, I love that your son said that amazing. Second of all, I love your reaction to it. You didn't get defensive or you gaslight him or diminish him. You were like, Hey, you're right. That's a thing that I think is sometimes hard for parents to or for anyone to admit. And I love how gracious you were about it and I think it was a really beautiful, teachable moment for everyone. So nice job, mom.
Kate: Well done. And thanks for sharing it with us because we learned something too.
Doree: Totally. I, it's funny, I kind of had the opposite situation with Henry where I loved his hair long. I thought it was so cute. <affirmative>, <affirmative>. And he was finally, and for a while he didn't care or he liked it also. And then he was finally, I want a haircut. I was like, Oh, okay.
Kate: Yeah. That happens with a lot of parents for sure.
Doree: Yeah. Hey, guess what? Kids with their own people and they
Kate: Body time
Doree: Are theirs. Yep.
Kate: Yeah.
Doree: All right, Kate, let's take another break and we'll be back with a couple more messages.
Kate: Okay. We are
Doree: We Are B!
Kate: There it is there it is. I was scrolling through text messages from listeners and I had found this one that I missed when I was looking in February is when we received it. So it's in response to an older episode, but I just loved it. So I threw it in this document in the hopes that we could share it.
Doree: Please.
Kate: This person wrote to us, my therapist says, I listened to Forever35 because it's like a secret insight into my wife. This theory was confirmed during this week's mini app with the mindless chocolate eating. My wife has on more than one occasion, mindlessly popped a cough drop into her mouth during a pause in sex.
Doree: Oh, I love this so much. <laugh>
Kate: I have mean, first of all, what an honor to be Oh, mentioned in this person's therapy to be offering some sort of insight into their partner.
But can you imagine either what? Yeah, okay. From the partner's perspective, you're boning someone and then they pause and put a stinky old cough drop in.
Doree: What is happening there? <laugh>,
Kate: I, as a person who loves eating cough drops, I can't imagine chomping on a cough drop, nor can I imagine smelling my lover's cough drop. Do you have the same kind of questions?
Doree: Yes. And where are the cough drops and how long of a pause is this? What is happening questions? How is there time to just, I don't know. It's the logistics of this are confounding me. I guess.
Kate: I do love the idea of a cough drop pause in sex of, hold on. And not, I need to get the vibrator, but I need to get the cough drops <laugh>.
Doree: And to be clear, I am not trying to cast dispersions on how people have sex. That is not my question.
Kate: No, cough drop away.
Doree: I am just literally trying to figure out the logistics of this. So if this listener is still listening and wants to enlighten us, I would welcome that.
Kate: If you're still out there, tell us more. And thank you for listening and telling, talking to your therapist about us. That's so cool.
Doree: And your wife sounds really cool if you're listening to us to get insight into her brain.
Kate: Yeah, she sounds awesome and super hot and smart. Yeah. Yeah. <laugh>, we have one last voicemail.
Voicemail: Hey, Forever35. I'm calling in response to the person who wrote in about the breakup with some of the best breakup advice that I have ever been given, that has helped me through breakups and that I have passed one to my friends and that they have also said was very effective first of all to the other listener. I'm so sorry you're going through this heartbreak. It just sounds really torturous and I'm glad that you reach out to Kate and Doree cause they're excellent and I hope that you get a lot out of this but not just me. People in general. Anyway so the advice that I was given was loosely based on the thing that we maybe all of us have heard, which is takes about 21 days to break a habit. And so when you go through the breakup you start by creating a little chart of sets of 21 3 sets and each day you mark off a day and then you, on the 21st day you do something just for yourself.
So some of the things I did were get a pedicure or go try a cool weird fitness class. Cause that's the kinda thing I like to do. Or have a dinner with friends. because that the other thing i like to do. And it doesnt have to be like wild things outta ordinary, just making sure to take some time for self care that day. kind of marking that day. And then after three sets of those 21 days you'll feel like a completely different person. And when I was told that, I was like, Ugh, if there's no way I'm going to feel like a different person. This is horrible. I'm so heartbroken. And the first week I remember crossing off the numbers on the charts that I had made and it was painful to just even get through one day. And then by the second set of 21, if not sooner, I was missing days because life and my life became full of other things and other interests and other people. And just I would be like, Oh, it's been a couple of days.
I get to mark these all off now. And truly, by the end of the three sets of 21 days, I did feel like a completely different person. And I was in such a better place. And it was so much progress emotionally and it, it's kinda cheesy advice, but it's also really practical advice in a way. It gives you something to mark time with. And it really was helpful for me two significant breakups. And I know that it's been helpful to friends, I've given to this advice have come back and said, Yeah, that really was meaningful. So I hope that that is meaningful for you.
Kate: I love this advice. I'm intrigued. I never in breakups, I've never had a plan. I just am a master chaos. Yeah, I know. I think it must help give you a little bit, feel like you have a little bit of control. Yeah. Tell us more of how your breakup plans, This also seems like this would be a good plan after getting laid off when your life is just sent into that feeling of, or when you're grieving, just a practice to kind of do, said, give you this semblance of control of routine. I really like it. I really like it. Yeah.
Doree: Well, Kate, it's been a pleasure as it has always It
Kate: <affirmative> indeed.
Doree: And yeah, talk to you soon. Bye.
Kate: B