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Mini-Ep 345: What We Do In The Showers

Kate and Doree take a whiff of their new perfume and candles before hearing from listeners about a tingly-in-all-the-places body wash and back-sleeping tips and tricks.

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Transcript

Kate: Hello, welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer.

Doree: And I'm Doree Shafrir

Kate: Oh yeah. And we are not experts, okay?

Doree: We're not. But we're two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

Kate: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.

Doree: But please do remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.

Kate: If you wanna reach us, send us those picks. You can leave us a voicemail or send us a text at 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0 and you can email us at Forever 35 podcast@gmail.com.

Doree: And do visit our website forever 35 podcast.com for links to everything we mention on the show. And just to distinguish, if you want to check out our, not just everything we mention, you can do that at shop my.us/forever 35. We are also on Twitter at Forever 35 pod on Instagram at Forever 35 podcast. You can also join the Forever 35 Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/forever 35 podcast, the password to serums and sign up for our newsletter Forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter.

Kate: So it's just funny that you mentioned Shop my, because I literally was like, let's get on five minutes early to this recording so we can chat. And as we were doing that, I was adding a link to a candle to my personal shop, my page, and I was telling you, I was like, I love this candle. And you were like, I'm gonna talk about that candle. I literally was, and we have not discussed this. This was a no spur of the moment candle collab.

Doree: So funny. Yeah, so this company called Sniff, S N I F, which makes candles in perfume, I don't think they do anything else Sent us just some, they gifted us some products, some perfume and some candles. And I am a bit of a scent skeptic as previously discussed on this podcast. I like very specific things and there's a lot of things that I just don't like. And I was just telling Kate before we started recording that I just spritzed a little bit of their perfume on. And at first I was like, Oh, this is too perfume. I don't think I like it. And then as the day went on

Kate: <affirmative>,

Doree: I was like kinda liking how I'm smelling right now. And also I will say it had good staying power.

Kate: Important, very

Doree: Important. And then the candles, we needed a new candle in our bathroom to cover any unpleasant sense that maybe obvious

Kate: Reasons

Doree: In the bathroom. And we put the instant Karma candle in the bathroom and it just smells really good.

Kate: So good. That is what I've, that's what I have burning at my desk right now. And I had been burning it in my office yesterday while writing. And then I brought the candle from my office into my office is in a little back area of my house. I brought it into my house and put it next to my bed cuz I was like, I need the scent by me at all times. And so I'm sitting here burning it again and I just shared it on my Instagram and I was kind of mentioning so, and Doree was like, Oh no, no, that's also my new candle. So this candle's hidden, it's hit and right.

Doree: Yeah, for sure. So if you're in the market for new perfume, check them out. They have this try before you buy kind of thing, which I don't just totally understand. <affirmative>, I guess you can just test them out for seven days, not totally clear to me. And you can return them and not get charged. So that's kind of cool. This was not an ad. They did send us stuff for free, but they are not sponsoring this podcast as of yet. But anyway, we just both really like them. Their website is very direct to consumer. Millennial bingo. Very

Kate: Millennial pink. Yeah, very.

Doree: Yeah, it's like millennial pink, this saner font and just a lot of nods to millennial culture, but oh, also there's sense. They are non-gendered sense. There's no women's or whatever fragrance. So I mean that's kinda cool.

Kate: Yeah. Anyway, I will say, I just wanna also note, I have also burned through their off the grid candle, which I also really liked. So these are kind of more outdoorsy, that kind of, not a savory scent, but what's the word? Like a spicy woods, a warm and not even woodsy. I find them to be kind of warm, spicy,

Doree: <affirmative>,

Kate: Warm spice.

Doree: I

Kate: Like the best I can do. Best I can do at describing this. Well clearly you do because you're a burning instant karma in your house.

Doree: Exactly.

Kate: Well there you go. New candle reco for you.

Doree: New candle reco. Anyway, Kate

Kate: <affirmative>,

Doree: We have some correspondence from our listeners to get to

Kate: Doree. We received this text message and I just wanna point to you, Doree, this listener sent us a photograph which I've included on the preparatory board for this recording <affirmative>. So if you wanna peek on over to the board, you can see the photographic example. They gave us <affirmative> <affirmative>, they wrote Hello, I was ruminating whether I'd buy the spatula you mentioned for products a few weeks ago. And then wondered if the Forever 35 community had people who don't yet know the cutting open a tube trick when it seems you've run out of product. I didn't for a very long time. Photographic exhibit attached. I usually get at least a couple weeks more use out of stuff this way financially and environmentally a teeny bit better. I have a full on confession. I've never done this even though intellectually I understand that I can,

Doree: I'm also confused because then is your product just open?

Kate: Well, let's describe this photograph that we received. I want you to imagine a container of a laroche passe se double repair face moisturizer and it has been cut in half and it appears that the listener is then acquiring the product out of the sliced open sections of the bottle.

Doree: I would say,

Kate: I assume it's just open to the world,

Doree: Which to me is not super sanitary. That's a good way to get bacteria and stuff into your products by just having them open for two weeks. I mean maybe that's just me, but I don't love this from a hygiene standpoint.

Kate: Interesting. Maybe they cover it with a little bit OFN wrap or bees wrap or whatever that bewa wax stuff is I have in my drawer.

Doree: I mean if you're using Saran Wrap then

Kate: <laugh>. I know

Doree: <laugh> the environmental, it's kind of a wash. I don't know. Look, I respect trying to get the most out of your products. Just for me personally. I think I would be a little s squeaked out by doing this. If it was for two weeks, I would do it once. Okay.

Kate: Yeah. I've never done this. I don't know why. I feel like I should do it, but I'm not sure why. I have never done it. So when I get close to the end of a bottle, maybe I'll I'll do this. I will say there are some brands just skin being one of them that gives you kind of a cool little key, like a turning key that you can use with their bottle of face cream to help you round the end of the product and get everything out of it. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this correctly, but it's very handy.

Doree: I love that.

Kate: It really helps. I love that. And just came with the cream. So a squeeze key. It's called a squeeze key.

Doree: A squeeze key, Evolve together. That's the name of that company. <affirmative>. They recently sent us some body lotion and it also came with a squeeze key.

Kate: Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about. That's the other place I've seen it. A good call. I forgot about that.

Doree: Good call. Squeeze

Kate: Keys for the future is what we're saying.

Doree: Yes,

Kate: <laugh>.

Doree: Okay. We got another text. I've been a listener since episode one and saved all my last week's episodes to listen to during my first marathon. I thought you two might appreciate me rocking my hokas and my gooders, but the best part was my bib number 35. 35. Also, my finish was just under four hours. 3 59. Haha. Forever 35. Thanks for giving me some lovely chats to listen to through all my training runs and the marathon itself.

Kate: This is such a compliment because I can't even exercise to a podcast. Number one, I have to exercise to music. So the fact that you could listen to us for four hours is, I mean, maybe not, It wasn't just only us, but what an honor to get to be with you on that journey about

Doree: Marathon. Yeah. This is so interesting because I feel like people have said that our voices are calming and people listen to us to go to sleep <laugh>. So the fact that someone listened to us for four hours to run a marathon is quite flattering,

Kate: Truly a compliment. And can we just note under four hours to run a fucking marathon?

Doree: Yeah.

Kate: Jesus Christ. Congrats.

Doree: Wow. All I'm saying is

Kate: Wow. Do you think it was our voices that just pushed this listener over the finish line?

Doree: It definitely was

Kate: All us. All us.

Doree: It definitely was all us.

Kate: This was so nice. Congratulations, listener. You did it. That's amazing. Oh my God. And hope is and gooders, I mean, just way to go real real for a 35 uniform. I love it.

Doree: Yeah, totally. Alright, we have one more text. Hey Cat. I went to Trader Joe's recently and got some of that tea treat body wash and I love it. So refreshing. Yet calming. Just one thing when I wash down there, vagina and ass, I get a warm tingly sensation. And I'm not sure if this is normal or not. The feeling is unexpected, but honestly kind of nice. Do you use this body wash on all regions of your boge? Should I be concerned about, have a warm and tingly a hole post shower? Love you lot. A warm and tingly a hole.

Kate: I saw this text and I was like this. I love this so much. I love this. I love that. This is our community. I love that. This is a question we get. I love everything about it. So I believe tea tree the property of tea tree, it's going to give you that tingly feeling. And I'm not sure if it's, I mean, we're not dermatologists or medical professionals, so we can't speak to the fact that it's normal, but I think as long as you aren't acquiring any sort of rash or skin irritation, it's probably fine. I imagine it's not particularly concentrated because it's in a body wash. I don't know.

Doree: Yeah, I think it's fine.

Kate: I mean, honestly, this sounds like you're having a little treat.

Doree: Yeah, totally.

Kate: Now I

Doree: Am gonna keep going.

Kate: I am gonna Google tea tree oil wash vagina. So yeah, I know if anybody ever looked up my searches. Yeah, I mean the first thing that says is that tea tree oil should be diluted when used as a vaginal douche. This is just the first thing that comes up on Google. So I don't, but again, I don't, I suspect you're probably not putting a lot in there. But I do think tea tree oil is very strong and ast stringent. It's used on acne. So I would just proceed with caution or reach out to a skin medical professional if you're concerned.

Doree: But Kate, I agree with you. It has to be so it has be pretty diluted.

Kate: Yeah, I would think so. Now I will. Next time I go to trader, I will see if this is there. Will I experiment on my own body, T B D, but I definitely will try it out. I like their body washes.

Doree: Well, I look forward your feedback about your a-hole.

Kate: My tingly. A-hole.

Doree: Your tingly. Warm a-hole. All right let's take a little break and we'll be back in a flash. All right, we're back. We got an email with the subject much ado, about back sleeping. This listener proceeds to write. Okay. But Kate, can you deep dive added knee pillow to Amazon wishlist. What head pillow do you use and what pillow do you prop your arms with? Hi Doree. Have a great day. <laugh>. Look, I don't feel left out when you all address emails and texts just to Kate that that's fine.

Kate: Yeah, I feel

Doree: I appreciate that much appreciated.

Kate: Doree, you're a side sleeper, right?

Doree: Yeah, much to my attempts to not be one. I am pretty much a sides laborer. Yes.

Kate: So this, I have to be honest with you, listener. I don't use, I mean, I use a head pillow. I like just a pillow but I never bought, I know there are a variety of pillows out there. In fact, I'm being targeted on TikTok for one. That's like a whole system where it keeps you upright and then it looks bonkers. I almost clicked on it and then I was like, this is too much. Don't spend your money on this. You're fine. There are a variety of head pillows. I sleep on a pillow from Casper. This is because my nine year old child has stolen my purple pillow, which I love. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, I'm a big purple pillow fan. But I sleep on a regular old pillow from Casper. And then I have another pillow that my hus we bought 10 or 15 years ago when we bought a mattress. And I still am using that pillow. I mean, these are not, there's nothing special about my pillows. Then there's maybe another pillow, and it might be from Brooklynn or some other online sheets company that I bought. But nothing, there's nothing special about my pillows.

Doree: I would like to weigh in on this if I may. Please.

Kate: Please. And I did just wanna, let me finish this. They asked, I think also Oprah pillows. Do I? No, it's okay. What pillows do I prop my arms up with? Again? Just whatever I have on my bed, which is just a variety of random pillows that I couldn't even tell you where they're from. So they need not be special in my system. Okay. Passing the mic to Doree.

Doree: Okay, so my head pillow is a pillow from sleep number that allows you to adjust the firmness of the pillow. It comes with multiple inserts. Yeah. And I think you can use a different number of inserts depending on whether you are a back sleeper, a side sleeper, a stomach sleeper, et cetera. I love this pillow.

Kate: Oh,

Doree: Okay. I hope to never use another pillow. Holy

Kate: Shit.

Doree: I also sleep with a pillow under my knees. And when I turn on my side between my legs, and I will tell you what this pillow is, is a pillow. It is a lumbar throw pillow that I got from Target, I don't know, six years ago, a long time ago. I just looked it up. It is still available on Target's website. So you two can buy this pillow. Kate, I'm texting it to you.

Kate: Oh my God

Doree: It is $25. I'm sure you can get it on some home sale. That target has every five seconds. And in my opinion, it is the perfect pillow to sleep with between your legs if you are so inclined. I think I started doing it when I was pregnant maybe. Cause I didn't like the specific, the pregnancy pillows, <affirmative>. I could never get really comfortable with those. But this pillow really did it for me.

Kate: That's a hot tip. Doree, a $25 target. Oh my God. And it's cute too. It's just by it's cute threshold. I love a threshold.

Doree: I got it for decorative purposes.

Kate: And it's a leg pillow

Doree: Now baby. And now it's a leg pillow. So

Kate: I have one other pillow to mention that I do actually use, and it kind of does cradle my head. It's by sleep crown. Now this is another thing that was gifted to me. I did not buy it. I believe they sent it to us cuz Whitney Cummings mentioned it on our podcast. And it's meant to be used over the head. It's like this light, It's basically a miniature pillow. But I use it under my head and it kind of cradles it. I forgot about this. So I was saying I will put this kind of tucked under my head.

Doree: I tried the sleep crown as it is meant to be used. And I found it suffocating

Kate: Too much for you.

Doree: Yes. Not my bag, but I'm glad that you found a use for it.

Kate: Yeah, it works. I, I don't know if I would say this is a must have. It's a pricey pillow. It's $174.

Doree: Oh my goodness.

Kate: Yes. Again, this pillow was generously gifted to us, so we didn't have to fork that over. I think you can just do make do with Doree's lumbar pillow and whatever pillows you got lying around.

Doree: Yeah. I really think unless nothing is really working for you, you don't need to get super complicated with this.

Kate: Well, I do just wanna note, I think we, I speak from experience. We can get sucked into this. I need a product that is made to do the thing I I'm looking to do, hence, hence the weird head pillows that are targeting me on TikTok. And I would first say, work with what you have because as I speak from experience as a person who is sucked in by marketing, that's all.

Doree: Okay.

Kate: Okay. We got this email that I thought was very interesting. Hi, Kainor. As the holidays approach, I need help with my stickiest situation in law gifts. When my husband and I got married several years ago, I took on the role of buying gifts for his family, Mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, and teenage nephews and nieces. Gifts are my love language. So I actually don't mind doing this. The problem is that I never receive a thank you. We typically gather with this family at Thanksgiving, or we hand deliver wrapped gifts that are opened by each family unit later at Christmas, after I hand over my carefully chosen gifts, I never hear another word about it from any of them. I don't expect a handwritten note. I'd happily accept a text, email, or even just a verbal thank you the next time we see them. Instead, my feelings are hurt every year by their total lack of acknowledgement for reference. They do reciprocate the gift giving. And I always send photos, videos of my kids opening and enjoying their gifts, followed by a thank you note from our family. I can't think of a way to change this situation that doesn't involve creating tension in the family. Do I just need to get over it? Thanks. Anonymous.

Doree: I have thoughts.

Kate: Well, let's hear them.

Doree: My first thought is make your husband do it. It's his family. I know gifts are your love language, but this is his family. He can take this on. If it's so important for them to get gifts, let him do it. So that's my first thought. My second thought is in a, this is kind of Dr. Becky is of two things can be true <affirmative>.

The two things that I think can be true are one, yes, it is rude to just fully not acknowledge a gift. I think, however, I also think that when you give a gift, it is incumbent on you as the gift giver to give it with no expectations or just no expectations. I think you just have to kind of let it go. So I think that you either let it go or you can say, I mean, you could also say something like, Hey, did you the, or did Johnny the spinning top, I got him. You know what I mean? <laugh>, you could say something like that. A little bit passive aggressively reminding them that you got them a gift and you thought about it and they should have fucking said something. I kind of just stopped writing handwritten thank you notes because I just did. But I always, if someone gets Henry something, I will always send them a text with a photo or a video of him playing with it and say he loves the thing. And that to me, I think, and you say this too, I think, and hope that suffices, especially with the family.

But also this seems like this is really getting you down. And again, it's your husband's family. I think it's time for him to step up. Kate, what do you think?

Kate: I have no notes because everything you said I agree with. Oh, great. A hundred percent. I mean there's really nothing. Yeah, there's nothing I can add. I think I was just going to echo the fact that it is really frustrating that they're not acknowledging it. But also I do agree with you that when you give a gift, there really can be no expectation of any sort of acknowledgement you have. I think you have to let that go. And if you can and keep giving the gifts and just enjoy it because you love gift giving, then great. But I do Doree suggestion, which is like, if this is bringing you down, pass the torch on over. Danette husband of yours <affirmative>. Hundred percent.

Doree: All right. I love a dilemma like this.

Kate: I thought you might. You might.

Doree: Yep. All right, Kate, let's take another little break. We have some voicemails to get to when we come back.

Kate: Okay. I just wanna set up this voicemail because this is an extremely niche voicemail that may only apply to me and this listener, but I felt deeply compelled to answer it. So selfishly, because I put this episode together, I included it. If I could have texted a response, I would've, but I got a voicemail. So let's play it and I will give you my answer.

Voicemail: Hi, my name's Katie. And this question is for Kate Horse Spencer. And I would love to know your art Brian and Groove Craft leak a lot. When you're pouring it out. Does it spill all over you and what am I doing wrong? Cause I've had this machine for years and I don't know if I'm doing something wrong. My thing's blown out. Is there what you call it in there that's broken help. Thanks. Bye.

Kate: Okay. Again, a very niche question for Queens and art Grind and brew users, aka my favorite coffee maker and listener. I got this. And the reason I'm sharing it is because we had the same exact thing happen to us. And it is, we assume here in the Spencer King household where this coffee pot has been discussed at length, we assume it's a product design flaw. And we have ordered, you can order a new carro for your coffee maker. And that is what I would recommend that you do because we had the same thing. I know exactly what you're talking about. It is, it drove Anthony and me nuts for years and our coffee, our old one died. And so we got this new and improved one, and the new picture doesn't really do it, but I got this and it was like this person had lived in my kitchen for the last five years of my life because I have been there. Yeah.

Doree: Wow. Product design form. Yes

Kate: Yes. This resonated.

Doree: Wow. Okay. I used to have the Cuisinart, I don't think it was The Grind and Brew, but it was a queen and art coffee maker.

Kate: You just made yourself a cup of coffee before this episode. What is your coffee maker of choice at the moment?

Doree: I mean, I wouldn't call it my coffee maker of choice, but I would call it coffee that I have. Yeah, it's a Keurig.

Kate: Nice. And it gets the job done.

Doree: Nice. I dunno. It makes, the coffee is not amazing. It's not great for the environment but it's what we have. So it's what I'm dealing with right now. Good. All right. Let's hear another voicemail.

Voicemail: Hi, this is Anne in Chicago, and I just wanted to say that I have started watching my very first K drama or K comedy. I'm a little confused, The Extraordinary Attorney. All thanks to your lovely podcast, and I love it. I love it so much. Also, I'm never gonna get anything done ever again. So I will see you all in, oh, I don't know, six, seven years when I have finished all of them on Netflix. Love you all. Hope you're having a good day. Bye.

Doree: Love that.

Kate: A joy suggestion. Did you finish this series?

Doree: I did not. I not finish the series. I plan on it. It wasn't like I was like, I'm stopping. Okay. It was just like life got in the way.

Kate: I think I have told you this offline that I am now watching what we do in the Shadows.

Doree: Oh yes. Yes, you have.

Kate: And I like it. And I'm on the second season.

Doree: You had tried it before and been like, This is not for me. But then you decided to give it another shot, which I appreciate, Kate.

Kate: I watched the pilot and I was kind of like, Eh. And then

Doree: I just figured, I just

Kate: Was like, Doree fucking loves this show so much. She has a T-shirt. Like, You love this show, You have a

Doree: I do. And don't, I'm not a person that has fan t-shirts.

Kate: No, no. I know this about you. And so even just silently doing a podcast recording and seeing you in that shirt, and I was like, If Doree loves this, this much, and honestly, because don't, you're a person who really loves and consumes a lot of culture, but you're not a fanatic. I don't

Doree: Think about

Kate: Most things.

Doree: Well, I'm not a fan, I think in the fandom sense of the word but I think I am for this show.

Kate: I think I would say you are. So I was really kind of moved and inspired to give it another chance. And not only am I just genuinely enjoying it, but it is kind of the perfect, It's just funny. It's just smart and funny. And that's short. And that's it. Yes, it's perfect.

Doree: It's perfect.

Kate: So thank you.

Doree: Oh, it's just so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny. And also, I know what you're gonna say. Mando is hot.

Kate: I'm so hot. He's so hot. I can't handle it. <laugh>.

Doree: But you also kind of wanna fuck Matt Barry.

Kate: Yes. They're all hot. Well, maybe mostly the two of them not.

Doree: Yeah, not so much. Colin Robinson. He

Kate: No disrespect to Colin Robinson.

Doree: He exudes negative sex appeal. But I think that's the point. Yes yes it is. So it is just so funny and so weird and just so delightful. And even though I know that the Emmys overlook a lot of shows, but it bothers me that it does not get the recognition that I believe it deserves. It got a couple of nominations this year, but for no major categories, and they've never gotten an acting nomination. And I think people think that because it's kind of satirical and almost campy that those are easy characters to play. And to that, I just say no. No, <laugh>.

Kate: I just noticed that the actor who plays Giermo did receive a best supporting actor nomination. He has to be so Oh, yes. So real. Yeah, it's great. The actors are truly excellent on the show. They're all so good.

Doree: They're so good. Anyway, if you haven't watched it, watch it. Yeah. I can't guarantee that you'll like it because everything is not for everyone. But if you kind of know my personality and what I find funny and you are similar, I think you'll like this show, <laugh>. How about that works? Okay, great. Kate, this has been a joy as always. All right, well, we'll talk to you all later. Bye.