Mini-Ep 344: The Breast Of Both Worlds
Doree regales Kate with the story of her technical difficulties. Plus listeners celebrate successfully using a menstrual cup, feel seen after Kate’s story of her messy dining table, and suggest a positive style influencer to follow.
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Transcript
Kate: Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer.
Doree: And I'm Doree Shafrir.
Kate: And we're not experts.
Doree: We're not, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: And this is a mini episode. Where are we hear from you. We share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the absolute best of our ability.
Doree: But please do remember, we are podcast hosts. We're not experts. We always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or a mental health professional as needed.
Kate: If you wanna reach us, our voicemail and text number is 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0, or you can email us at forever 35 podcast gmail.com.
Doree: And you can visit our website forever 35 podcast.com for links to everything we or our guests mention on the show. But if you want our actual Rex for stuff, you can head over to shop my.us/forever 35. We have very curated lists of things like Kate's, but Care Corner, and we are on Twitter at Forever 35 pod. We're on Instagram at Forever 35 podcast. Join the Forever 35 Facebook group at facebook.com/group/forever 35 podcast. The password is serums. We also have a newsletter at Forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter. And I also just wanna say you can check out our merch collab with balance bound at balance bound.co/shop/forever 35. Kate, I know you have an anecdote you would like to share, but I feel like I need to also share just briefly a little peek into the tech support debacle that I experienced yesterday and today. I don't wanna go into all the details, but suffice to say, if you listen to our last episode, you heard me on Apple AirPods because I was having major mic issues and we couldn't figure out what the issue was. I was finally like, You know what? I did drop my microphone yesterday. Maybe it's just busted and I've had it for a few years. Planned obsolescence, et cetera, et cetera. So I ordered a new mic. It came today.
Kate: Let's also say we sat and did some troubleshooting. We called Samee. Oh yes. It was only in the morning. Samee got involved. We like, mm-hmm <affirmative>. But nothing, We couldn't, I,
Doree: At first we thought, thought it might be Kate's issue because Kate was traveling, so Kate wasn't on her normal setup. But then it was very clear that it was my issue and very confusing to figure out what was going on because I hadn't changed anything. So fine record on AirPods. And then today I text Kate, I'm like, Hey, my new mic just came. Let's do this thing. And she was like, I'm getting the same buzzing that I, and loud noises that I was getting yesterday. The mic was just sounding like buzzing and I couldn't hear myself. I could hear myself, but then I couldn't hear myself recorded, played back. I tried recording myself in garage band just to see what the deal was, and it was recording static. And I was like, What the fuck? I tried plugging, unplugging everything, plugging it back in, using a different cable, plugging the cable for the microphone directly into the computer instead of into my USB hub. I was trying a million different things. And poor Kate was just sitting there listening to, Oh, it's fine. Freaking static and loud noises. And finally I was like, The one thing I haven't tried Is Restarting my Computer.
Kate: And so what happened when you restarted your computer? Doree?
Doree: What Happened? Well, hey, you tell me I was
Kate: well we're Recording and you sound great. Great. Now let this be a reminder to all of us that sometimes we just need to shut down and then turn ourselves back.
Doree: Yeah, exactly. And I feel like people who work in it, this is the classic tale. They say, Have you tried unplugging and plugging back in? Have you tried restarting? And I feel like people always roll their eyes, but a lot of the time that is like, But my computer just, and my mic just needed a reset. I guess they needed to restart and talk to each other. And then they were like, Are you cool? And then they were like, Yeah, I'm cool. And that was it.
Kate: And I love that we went to gotta buy that new microphone, the mic's. I was like, Did you try? Yeah. Is it possible that the outlet you plug your mic into is broken?
Doree: Well, and Cause I had dropped my mic yesterday. I was like, Well, it's gotta be the mic. I must have just fucked up the mic forgetting that I have dropped this mic several times and nothing has ever happened. <laugh>. But I mean, now I have a really nice mic. <laugh>. So
Kate: <laugh>. Well, it works great
Doree: And it works great. So I haven't tried the old mic. I kind of feel bad for the old mic. I'm like, Oh, sorry buddy, I just cast you aside
Kate: <laugh>. And it didn't do anything wrong. It retired, didn't do anything
Doree: Wrong. Shame. It's like, Hey, why did you do that to me?
Kate: <laugh>, you blamed me. You threw me on the ground and then you blamed me. I
Doree: Scapegoated. I scapegoated. I gas lit my old mic
Kate: <laugh>. Oh my God.
Doree: So I just wanted to share that as just a reminder before you panic.
Kate: Yeah. Restart, restart, restart.
Doree: Just restart.
Kate: Great anecdote too. The inner workings of what it takes to make a podcast
Doree: <laugh>.
Kate: It is. It's a glamorous life. A glamorous life. Here it the front 35 really offices.
Doree: All right, well, Kate, now that our listeners are familiar with my <laugh>,
Kate: Your tech savviness,
Doree: My tech true tech savviness, let's hear from some listeners.
Kate: So very quickly, Doree, we received a delightful one two sentence email from a listener. Hey ladies, after a four year struggle, I have finally successfully used a menstrual cup for my whole period. I am so proud of myself for persevering. We're proud of you,
Doree: Proud of you. And we will link in the show notes to a TikTok that a mom who was one of the moms that I was away with this past weekend did about getting a menstrual cup stuck
Kate: And
Doree: How she managed to get it out <affirmative>. It's very good. It's really quite good.
Kate: All
Doree: Right. Congratulations. Totally different note. Yeah. Congratulations. A throwback to literally episode two, question mark of February 35, when, if I remember right, Doree was talking about walking to Starbucks to get sous ved egg bites. I live in the UK and our starbuckses don't stock them. So I thought, Huh, Things are different in America. And continued on minding my own business. Fast forward, however long the podcast has been going. Is it five years? Yes, almost. And I spot a poster in the Starbucks menu for a new menu item, Sous Ved egg Bites. What a weirdly slow global rollout. Talk about supply chain crisis. Anyway, I thought you'd enjoy that. I recognized them and thought as featured on Forever 35, Love you gals.
Kate: Doree, your egg bites are finally making their way around the world.
Doree: I know. I feel really chuffed by this. I have to admit, I rarely eat these anymore. Not for any real reason. More just like I tend to eat breakfast at home and I'm, I'm not often out getting egg bites, but my son really loves them. And sometimes we'll just get them as a snack. Or if I'm with him and I wanna get a Starbucks coffee or something, I'll ask him if he wants anything. And he's like, egg bites
Kate: <laugh>. I love them. Now you got me hooked on them.
Doree: I mean, they're good and they have other varieties, but I just always go back to the OG Red pepper. Egg white bites.
Kate: Oh, interesting. I think those are true. I like the other two. I like the kale and mushroom. And I gotta say I like that bacony cheesy one. The Grier one.
Doree: Matt, Matt just heard me talking about this and just wants to note for the record that he really likes the chorizo ones.
Kate: Ooh, I don't think I've had that one.
Doree: I don't eat chorizo, so I'm not familiar. But they tried a chicken one for a while and I have a thing about chicken and egg together, so I never tried that one. And I've tried the kale mushroom and yeah, it's not great. It's fine. But I'm just a big fan of the og. So anyway, thank you listener for sharing that. I know if I ever make it across the pond again, I can always just pop into star's and get some egg bites.
Kate: You can be your most authentic American self.
Doree: I can just, Yes, I'll go. I'll only go to American chains when I'm in a foreign country. Okay, here is a voicemail.
Voicemail: This is Dorothy calling from Maryland home of Elli City where there is an A statue. Thank you to another listener for pointing that out. I just wanted to call and thank you guys cause calling for my car. And typically at this time, Monday morning I'm in therapy and the kids are in school and the babies with a sitter, but my therapist canceled and I'm calling to thank you guys for your nice reminders through the years that just care is self care, because I decided to keep the sitter and go out and get a fitting. And it was really great. I'm sitting here with two new bras Naori and Chantel, and theyre great. I'm so pleased. So the different shape and needing some, so thank to take care of that. All right. Well it was great. And take care. Loved pod. Bye.
Doree: Jug care is self care. And that is reminding me that I think I need some new bras.
Kate: So can I tell you where I just got a couple bras that I really like?
Doree: Yes, please.
Kate: They're from the Spank Corporation.
Doree: Oh, interesting. Which ones did you get?
Kate: So they have one called the Low Profile Minimizer Bra. And actually I think I'm wearing it right now and it's quite comfortable. And then I also kept something called the breast of both worlds reversible comfort bra. And this is an every day a comfort bra. I don't know how else to call it. It's like it's a really soft kind of cozy bra, but it feels like it holds me in enough that I can wear it out and about and I really like it. Yeah, I had never ordered bras from spanks before, so
Doree: I doesn't surprise. I have a spanks bra that doesn't fit me anymore. And I liked it, but my only quibble with it was that the straps were not adjustable.
Kate: I have tried a few bras like that. I think I might have even ordered someone returned some from Spanx. And I think that is a deal breaker for me at this point. I have to be able to adjust the straps.
Doree: Yes, yes. But the Spanx bras that you got have adjustable straps,
Kate: Not the comfort, the reverse comfortable comfort bra. That's more like a light tank toppy sports bra. But yes, the minimizer bra does. Minimizer Bra does.
Doree: Okay. All right. Well, Kate, we need to take a break. Ok. So let's do that. I'll be right back.
Okay, Kate, we are back. Oh, an email. Hi. I had my second child in late May of this year. I'm a speech language pathologist who works in a public school, and I was new at my school last year. I work and my role requires me to be in my office a lot of the time, working with a small group of students. I struggled last year with building new relationships with my team members and adjusting to a new building after leaving one that I loved for many years. When I went out on leave, I was surprised and hurt that none of my close colleagues sent a card or acknowledged my baby's birth in any way. I wasn't expecting a shower or even a gift, but would've loved a card sent by my team who I work closely with every day. Other people at work have had babies before and after me, and I've seen emails go out about signing cards for them or having a shower. We even collected money to have a birthday gift to one of my team members going back to work soon. And this experience has kind of soured me on my team. I'm not sure if I'm just being overdramatic or if this is just a symptom of me still adjusting to working at a new place, but my feelings are hurt. Do you think there's anything to be done about this or just something I have to work through?
Kate: I am dying to know what you think. Doree,
Doree: I think that this sucks. And I'm sorry that they did not acknowledge your child's birth in any way, especially since, from what you've said, it sounds like there's a precedent. It would be one thing if you worked somewhere where no births were ever acknowledged, but to have this kind of thing be acknowledged, but for other people and then it not be acknowledged for you is very hurtful. And I totally understand why you were hurt. With that said, I think you gotta just keep it moving. I don't think anything to be done about this now. I don't know. Kate, what do you think?
Kate: I think this is, as we've kind of started using, this is a good information to store away. And I think it's kind of a place to the point of what kind of relationships do you wanna have with these coworkers? You don't have to be best friends with them, <affirmative>, they didn't, that you can simply have really great professional relationships with them. You know, don't have to be, Yes. You don't have to try to be best friends with them. They didn't reciprocating. And I, I think this is such a bummer, and I'm sure it was not an intentional, I'm sure nobody was intentionally trying to be hurtful, but I totally get why it is especially like Doree said, since there seems to be precedent. So I would just use this information to help you that figure out how you want to approach the time you invest in the kind of relationships you have with these people. And if you turns out you're becoming really good friends with them, I think you could always say, You know what? That really bummed me out that happened. I think I would just see, feel it out when you get back.
Doree: I think this is such good advice. And I also really love connecting it back to the other conversations we've been having about friends at work, <affirmative>, and what you can expect, what kind of relationship you want to have with people at work. That's a really good point. I think you're totally right that this is just good information,
Kate: Right?
Doree: Just keep it in the background. And I would treat it like that. I mean, if I'm being honest, these people don't sound like they deserve the energy that you are potentially putting into feeling hurt by them. Does that make sense,
Kate: <affirmative>? It does.
Doree: I don't know. They sound kind of oblivious and not the most thoughtful people. And it's like why the onus be on you to still feel hurt by them? I don't know. Does that make any sense?
Kate: It does make sense. It does make sense. Did just also wanna note that my amazing colleagues at VH one did throw me a baby shower and it was heavily twilight themed and it was so fun. Oh wow. So
Doree: Yeah. The other thing that I do just wanna note, and again, I don't think this applies in this case because there was the precedent for doing all these things for other people. But I know in the infertility community stuff, this can be very triggering for people. Any sort of workplace wide celebration or seemingly mandatory celebration of someone's baby. And I don't think that this is the situation here, but I just wanna bring that up as something that I hope people are sensitive to.
Kate: Yeah, I appreciate that. I often wonder, I don't know, is it necessary that these kinds of celebrations take place at work even? I would argue that it doesn't have to be, but I think I've kind of taken a hard line on how I don't think work needs to really work, should just be work
Doree: Mean. By the same token, Kate was the one who threw me a, Kate threw me a baby shower.
Kate: I did. I love doing that. But I did that as your friend and not as your podcast. Although, I mean, it's hard to have one without the other at
Doree: This point. Exactly, Kate. Exactly.
Kate: My God. No work life balance.
Doree: <laugh>.
Kate: All right. Let's hear a voicemail about messy dining room tables.
Doree: Okay, let's do that.
Voicemail: Hi Kate. And Doree I had infamous paused the pod moment. Kate, you were saying how your dining room table, you need to just scoot everything over and push it outta the way to have your I fully see you. I do too. It would be nice to live another way, but this is just how it is. Oh, if only <laugh>, I feel so seen. Thank you so very much. I love you guys. I feel so not alone in the minutia of my day. Thank you so much, <laugh>. Bye.
Doree: Aww.
Kate: Yeah, You're not alone.
Doree: You're not alone.
Kate: I mean, I got home today and I just shoved my mask in a butt fanny pack on the dining room table where they don't belong. But that's where I put them.
Doree: <affirmative>, I mean, yeah, our dining room table. It's just like things permanently that just things permanently live there.
Kate: Yes. A hunt. Same on our table. It's like, oh, this container of watermelon flavored slime. This lives literally watermelon smelling slime for kids. Just, it lives on the dining room table. And you know what? That's, that's the reality. I have a lot of feelings right now about super curated photos. I'll go on this rant another time, but I'm kind of feeling like I'm sick of the home walkthroughs where the homes don't even lived in, I think I read something about this recently too. I wanna see some lived in homes.
Doree: Yeah. I think Catherine Geezer Morton has written about this. I think Sarah Louise Peterson has written about this.
Kate: I think that's maybe probably one of those two authors is, Or writers is where I
Doree: Was.
Kate: Something. Yeah.
Doree: Yeah. I mean it
Kate: Wanna see Emma Chamberlain, It was the Emma Chamberlain Architectural Digest home tour that really kind of did it for me, where I was like, I'm done. I'm done.
Doree: I mean, okay, first of all, she's 21.
Kate: I know.
Doree: She doesn't have small children. She I know. And also her house had just been decorated. She also a multimillionaire.
Kate: I know, I know. So just finally mad.
Doree: Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. I get it.
Kate: All right, let's take a break.
Doree: Okay, let's do that.
Kate: All right. Can I share this text message that we got?
Doree: I would love that.
Kate: All right. This listener wrote to us listening to Mini up 3 42 and wanted to suggest an amazing follow for a style influencer who enjoys fashion style and does not follow any of the rules as listed by the TikTok. Update your wardrobe to look less. Insert your generation here. And Carla Rockmore, she is amazing. And her approach to fashion has made me feel more comfortable and confident in wearing whatever I want. And also taking chances on looks that I have shied away from in the past for fear of what will people say. I think I actually follow Carla at Rockmore on TikTok, and I agree she's 50 plus and she's got amazingly fun, creative style.
Doree: Okay.
Kate: Yeah. Good. Great recommendation. Keep 'em coming.
Doree: Great recommendation. Love this. Okay, Kate, we have another voicemail to play.
Voicemail: Hello Kat and Dor. I'm just eating breakfast with my one year old in Ontario, Canada. And I feel like I've already either texted you guys or voicemail you guys this already, but I just feel it's necessary to tell you again and with this tidbit. But you've been such a staple on my maternity leave that I just have to tell you about it. Cause I'm pretty sure knows your voices is, and she dances to your intro music. And now that she's slowly starting to talk, she now says hi. As soon as you guys say hi, and she's email and says, Time you guys say bye. So I just wanted to let know biggest fans and also we'll to your episodes as soon as they come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And even listen numerous times. Cause sometimes I'm getting her dressed or doing other things to feel like I missed parts. And I listen to basically every episode twice because also, what else am I doing right now? Anyways it's also getting pretty gloomy and fall and here and getting very cold already very suddenly. So anyways, thanks for cheering up our moods and having a good songs for the babe to dance to and talk to. So she definitely thinks that you're friends. Cause I think you're too. Love you.
Doree: That's so sweet.
Kate: I love this. A baby likes us.
Doree: A baby likes us. Yay.
Kate: That's like what I've always wanted is for a baby to the podcast. How sweet.
Doree: It's funny, we sometimes hear from excellent adventure listeners because Henry has made some cameos on excellent adventure, <affirmative>, <affirmative>. And people have written in to tell us that, especially those who have kids around his age, around two or three, that if they're listening in the car and Henry comes on, they think that Henry is talking to them and they try to have a conversation with Henry.
Kate: That is very sweet.
Doree: It's just the cutest thing.
Kate: <laugh>, I would love if there were just a podcast of just a little kid chattering away that other kids would listen to. So not it's
Doree: Full disclosure. Does this I have have no, no. I have thought about doing this because Henry genuinely loves, He sees us in front of the microphone and he wants to do it, and he loves talking and he loves being interviewed. But I also am very mindful of creating a, I don't want him to have to be a little performer and be a public figure at three <laugh>.
Kate: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doree: So we've not done that. But yes, I think that would be really fun. So someone who has less, fewer concerns about their child being <laugh>
Kate: A child star, get in there. You do that, <laugh>.
Doree: Yeah. Get in there.
Kate: Get in there. Well, Doree, I'm so glad to have you back on your correct audio set up. I'm glad everything is working again.
Doree: Thank you so much, Kate,
Kate: And we will talk to all of you dear listeners later.
Doree: All right, Bye.
Kate: Bye.