Mini-Ep 295: Hot Chocolate Is Self-Care
Kate is still on the hunt for the perfect vitamin c serum and Doree has a tale to tell about a serum spill. Then, listeners want to know what to do about nostril zits, how to relax after a surgery, and share a great pun that was missed by Kat and Dor. Plus, another young listener proves that self-care habits can start at any age.
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Transcript
Kate: Hello, and welcome to forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I am Kate Spencer.
Doree: and I am Doree Shafrir.
Kate: And as we always say, we are not experts.
Doree: No, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: We've got a tragic serum story coming up, but before we get to that, I wanna remind you that this is a mini episode of the podcast.
Doree: Great little tease there, Kate. I like that. I like that a lot.
Kate: You know, trying to get people excited. Titillated wanting more. Well, Doree, as I was saying, this is a mini app where we hear from listeners, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we try to answer your questions to the best of, you know, our limited ability limited, but excellent ability.
Doree: Um, and please remember we are podcast host, not experts. Um, and we always encourage you to seek support from, you know, whatever expert you choose. We say medical and or mental health professional as needed, but you could need a different kind of expert. And we wanna honor that.
Kate: Yes. That statement is based to like cover our asses and say, we're not fricking doctors. So don't take, we're not here to give you medical help. Don't come to us for that.
Doree: Yeah. Don't come to us for that.
Kate: I mean, you can, but we will again say that we are not experts and refer you to a doctor, but pimples, we can talk to you about,. That's my expertise. Okay. So, oh, Dory, I'm sorry. We didn't even get into the other stuff cuz we're just already chatting up a storm.
Doree: I know. Look at us.
Kate: Still. Got it. look, call us, leave us a voicemail. Send us a text 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0. Email us send us a voice memo at forever 35 podcast, gmail.com.
Doree: And please remember you can visit our website for links to everything you mentioned on the show. That's forever 35 podcast.com. You can also visit our shop. My shelf shelves, my shelf, us slash forever 35. It's a party over there.
Kate: It's a party now, Doree, we teased out a serum story.
Doree: We did. We did. We really did.
Kate: And, and listeners, please know, I don't know the details of the story I'm coming into this. No, just as kind of clueless as you are. So Dory has a tale to tell.
Doree: I do. Okay. So picture it. It's the morning. Okay. I'm getting ready. Um, I Henry likes to hang out with me while I get ready and like getting ready. I mean, we're talking about like putting on clothes, brushing my teeth, slapping some sunscreen on my face. Like that is kind of the extent of the morning getting ready when Henry is around, because like, you can't do that much. So, you know, he likes to putter around on my, I have like this sort of like, it's like a built in vanity kind of thing.
Kate: Ooh, ooh la la
Doree: It's not that fancy. Um, it's not the design choice I would've made, but you know, out it's in the house that we live in. So I, yeah, I just roll with it, but it's kind of like a low shelf where I have like all of my makeup and skincare products on, and then I also have some built in or not built in, but like we installed them. Um, I think I posted them on a podcast like two years ago. Those like acrylic shelves, those little shelves that I have like a lot of bottles on. Anyway, Henry's.
Kate: You've got a collection.
Doree: I do have a collection. Henry can reach the low kind of counter. He also knows how to open things now cuz he has a young lad and you know, I don't closely supervise him when he's over there because, cause he's usually like, he'll like open my he'll open like a cream and like put some on his face or he'll open like a like lip balm and put some on. But today was it today or yesterday? Oh my God. I don't even remember.
Kate: all the day sblur together.
Doree: They do blur. I think it, it was today. He opened a serum and he spilled it.
Doree: And the serum that he opened was the Allume ever active C N E and peptide vitamin C serum that I had bought from my very expensive coldly are facial.
Kate: No.
Doree: And it came in a pack of three. So it comes with three little bottles. The idea being that like vitamin C, vitamin C is like very sensitive. And like once you open it, you really, you know, you can't use it for like a year because it'll go bad. So they put it in these three little bottles. I had just opened this new little bottle.
Kate: Oh goodness.
Doree: And he spilled 90% of it.
Kate: Oh goodness, goodness. So, you know, I feel like we all those of us with small children and a lot of us without small children have stories ourselves.
Kate: We've done it ourselves.
Doree: We have stories like this. The, the, the bottled drops from our hands. It goes everywhere.
Kate: Oh Goodness. It's like all of a sudden our, our bones and our muscles are just like moving without control. At least this is how it goes for me. It's just kind of like, yeah. All of a sudden I realize I'm knocking over a water bottle onto my computer. That that's a big one for me. Is the water on the computer?
Doree: Oh yes, yes. Yes. That's very dangerous. Yep. Oh boy. That's very dangerous.
Kate: The serum, the serum spill. And what do you do? It's not like you can be like, how dare no, you just have to eat it.
Doree: I just had to eat it because you know, it's not his fault. I should have been watching him more closely or, or put the serums out of his reach. He's only, he's not even three. Like it's not, you know, it's not his fault. He was very upset that it's builds, but I wiped it up.
Kate: Now, do you think Henry is actually working for a rival beauty company and he was trying to get rid of the Lumier product and, and instead I instill the product that he supports.
Doree: Yes. I think he is guerilla marketing.
Kate: That's the, that's the real answer of what happened to that is too right? That can explain it. Oh God. I mean, that reminds me of, I was, we were traveling this weekend and I, I was trying to explain to my kids like the confusing of the three or four ounces of liquids that you can bring and what it means. And my daughter brought a big toothpaste on the plane and they made her throw it out and she thought she was getting arrested and she started crying in the airport. It was a whole, oh, it was a whole whole thing. Oh yeah.
Doree: Oh no. Oh dear.
Kate: It was, I was getting, I had gotten, I was getting patted down because I had gotten pulled for like a random security check. So my kids were alone at security when they were like, you can't bring this toothpaste and then,
Doree: oh no,
Kate: my youngest started crying. Yeah. Yeah.
Doree: Oh no.
Kate: Shout out to TSA. But I was explaining to them like, you know, why and, and what it is. And it reminds me of the time that I accidentally packed a bottle of milk and honey body lotion in my carryon bag.
Doree: I remember this.
Kate: Yes. And they.
Doree: I remember this.
Kate: They wanted me, my options were either throw it out or find a way to carry it on. And I went in, like I went through security, went to the Muji store, bought a bunch of tiny bottles, went out, pulled the lotion, like out of security or out of the security trash, and then filled up the tiny bottles as best I could. It was truly a moment of like rage and plastic. Like I couldn't let it go to waste. Like I just was so mad at the idea of it being in the trash did that. Oh, it was so pointless. Why did I do that? So yeah.
Doree: I feel you. Well, I'm sorry that happened.
Kate: But you have two others because it came in a three pack.
Doree: Well, I have one other because I had already finished one and I just started this new one.
Kate: Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Bummer. And you like this serum, this is a serum you wanna be using?
Doree: I do. I do like it. I do like it. I do like it. Do. I think it's like really working. I don't really know that's where I'm at with it.
Kate: Well, I'm in the market do with that information. What you will, I will. I need a, well, I need a item and C serum because I'm, I'm like flat out. And I went through my like skincare rations because people often send us stuff and I course hold onto everything and I have no vitamin C, so I've gotta choose new. I know. It's, it's very exciting. It's like, like being in front of so many doors and not knowing which one to open you.
Doree: you know what my, I will say what my two favorite vitamin C serums are.
Kate: I don't know. What are they?
Doree: Summer Fridays. CCME. Vitamin C and nice serum. I love that one.
Kate: I also love that's when I just finished the, um,
Doree: I love the Saint. Is that what it's called? St Jane. Serum C vitamin C.
Kate: Yeah. Those are intense. I found those almost like too strong for my skin.
Doree: Hmm. Interesting.
Kate: I'm wondering, is it time just to try the iconic skin? Ceuticals because I've never tried their vitamin C serum and that's like the one everybody talks about or is that just gonna be,
Doree: oh, you've never tried it. Cause I feel like you have like, you're like a, SkinCeuticals kinda like you've I feel like you've tried a lot stuff.
Kate: I've never tried this.
Doree: I think you should try it.
Kate: Okay. I, I, I might, I'm also tempted to try.
Doree: you don't sound convinced.
Kate: Well, but then I was like, I was looking at the Laroche per se and it's like $40 and I really like their products and I was kinda like I don't know I'm gonna go. This is also Doree. What I've come to under or stand as part of my, like the way my brain works as a oh, okay. I'm just newly kind of coming into this ADHD identity of mine and the obsessive researching that I do about something that's like not important is a, is a real character trait of mine. And so I'll spend just looking at vitamin C serums, trying to figure out which is the right one,
Doree: but maybe there is no right one.
Kate: No, of course there's not, of course, but you know, and I have a million things I should do with my time, but I'm gonna do that.
Doree: Well, Kate, that was some real serum talk that we just, that we just had.
Kate: It was, I mean, I'm still, I'm still like mulling over the tragedy of your serum spelling.
Doree: I know it's pretty sad.
Kate: Oh, it really stresses me out. Like every time I think about it, I like, I just kind of get that feeling like that cringe feeling.
Doree: I know feeling it was, it was really sad, but like, you know, I will say it was almost like freeing to not get angry about it.
Kate: Doree. I have had those moments, both parenting and also with myself and it is the best feeling.
Doree: Like I, I'm just kind of like, yeah, it sucks. But like, I literally cannot change what happened. Yeah. I can try to prevent it from happening again, but I can't change what happened. I'm not gonna mourn the loss of a serum. Like that just feels silly. I'm like, I'm like bummed about it, but I also am just like, okay, you know what I mean? Like, I don't wanna give it that power.
Kate: Well, dare I also say that it kind of falls in line with, with the philosophy that you've kind of introduced me to, which is just like, it's not that deep, you know? Mm. Like, is this my mom used to always say to me, is this worth your energy? Because I would get very worked up about things, especially like friendship drama. And she always just used to be like, you know, is it worth with your energy to get upset about this? Of course, every time I was like,
Doree: yes, your mama was wise.
Kate: Yeah. So I think that that is, I don't know. That's a good practice that you are modeling for us all.
Doree: Thank you, Kate.
Kate: Okay. All right. Well, let's take our little break break. You break.
Doree: Okay. Let's do that. Take our breaky break. We'll be right back.
Doree: All right. Well, we have returned with a really important
Voicemail: Hi Kate and Doree! This is Kelsy calling from Minneapolis snowed overnight, which is not. I pronouns on the inside of my nostril. I know kinda weird. Now I can't turn my nose inside out to verify that this is indeed a pimple, but I'm curious if this has ever happened to either of you. It happens to me occasionally to the point where I wonder if there is, you know, better take of the inside of my nose. Um, just, uh, on that, love the podcast. Also a new vitamin C serum user. I got the mad hippie sample in the whole food beauty bag, which I learned about through the forever 35 Facebook group. Um, and I'm enjoying the little bit of brightness that I imagine in my, okay. Have a good day.
Doree: Kate. Remember didn't I text you about nostril zips a few weeks ago.
Kate: Yeah. I feel like we've talked about this very recently. And also my kids were like, I have, what, what is this? And I was like, welcome. Yeah, we we're talking about this. Did you have a painful one inside?
Doree: Yes. Um, yes I did. Now. I, this is perhaps, uh, not recommended.
Kate: I, sorry. I just, what a way to start off a recommendation?
Doree: I just wanna preface that by saying, oh my God. If you are a medical professional, you might wanna fast forward this next section. Don't even bother writing in to tell me that it's not a good idea.
Kate: She knows everybody.
Doree: I know I'm aware. I have popped these with tweezers.
Kate: Okay. Wait, can I back up and ask you a question? Yes. I'm pretty sure when I was a kid, my mom told me if I popped pimples near my nose, that stuff of the pimple would go up my nostril to my brain and it could kill me. Is that the most crazy thing I've ever said?
Doree: I think either your mom was woefully misinformed or she was just trying to scare the shit out of you. And like, didn't like was like, I don't want my daughter to popit. So I'm just gonna tell her that she could die.
Kate: I, I have this like very vivid memory of, of her not wanting me to pop the zip. Cause I sometimes get them under my NOST roll, but also inside my nose. Yes. I'm talking about the eternal ones I say pop away. I mean, they're so painful. Yeah. And annoying.
Doree: And you know what, they're really satisfying to pop.
Kate: How Doree, how do you get in there? What do you doing? Like folding your nostril out?
Doree: Yeah. I have, I feel like I have kind of like large nostrils. Like they, they sort of like, they do kind of like, I can kind of get up in there and like see and a little bit. And then I, I use some, some, you know, I'll tell I'll swab some tweezers with an alcohol and just kind of like, oh, just like open it a little bit. And then it oozes out and then we're good to go.
Kate: Yeah. Then she moves on with her day.
Doree: I do, I move on my day.
Kate: Yeah. I mean, I, I think this is a part of life and it's also weird because I feel like they start and you're like, why does my nose hurt? Like you touch the side of your nose and you're like,
Doree: totally.
Kate: what's happening.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: And then you what's going on and you're inside.
Doree: This is what's happening.
Kate: Like, oh, my body can get pimples here. Yeah. Doree, did you have, do you remember having chicken PS? Like this is a thing that the Youngs don't have to ever experience, but I know, I mean, we got chicken pocks every, I mean, I had a really bad case. They were all over, like inside everything. It was so gross.
Doree: It was so gross.
Kate: Uh, and I also did wanna say, I've tried that mad hippie vitamin C serum. I don't, I didn't love it. And I can't remember why, but I wanna say it was the texture, but I don't, I don't remember. Which is again, maybe not the best way to live, but that is my,
Doree: so that is not going to be one that you try.
Kate: No, I've already tried it. And while I support everyone using it, uh, of course like, you know, I'm not getting yuck, your yum, but it's not for me.
Doree: Okay. All right. That's, that's fair.
Kate: Doree moving on to an email. This listen writes to us.
Email: Hi Kat and Dor. I'm donating my kidney to my dad who is chronic kidney disease in a few weeks. This will be my first surgery and my first time being hospitalized. I honestly haven't thought about it a ton, but I know I'm going to be nervous that day when it becomes real occurred to me today that I should reach out to my pod besties and get their thoughts. I have two questions, any suggestions on what to bring to the hospital, comfort items, books, I'm going to have about two weeks off from work and I'm looking forward and I'm looking forward to an excuse to be lazy, read, watch lots of TV. But I also have thoughts of being productive like five, finally, starting to relearn piano. Is this naive? Will I be in a place to do that kind of thing? Should I just fully give into the idea of rest and not feel weird about it?
Kate: So many good questions in here. First of all,
Doree: first of all, You're amazing
Kate: Yeah. What a, what a generous act and selfless act. And I'm glad it's, um, you know, that also it will hopefully help your father. I mean, that's just really wonderful. So it's.
Doree: so cool.
Kate: Yeah. I mean, you know, the things that kind of help me, I'm a real scent oriented person and that's tricky in a hospital. You can't obviously like light candles in the hospital, but I do think you could, like, if you like an essential oil roller or you ligh,t like you have a candle that you don't light or some sort of diffusing situation, or I do find sense to be very calming again, you would need to check to make sure you know, what the rules are of what you can bring. Um, but I'm a big Scent person. And I also love like having your own pillow, having really cozy pajamas and socks, an eye mask and Earplugs and a white noise machine, cuz those hospitals are loud.
Doree: These are great tips. I know that, um, at least at the hospital where I gave birth, you were allowed to have a diffuser. You were allowed to have an essential oil diffuser in your, in your room. But again, I agree with Kate check to see if that is allowed. Yeah.
Kate: And then in terms of like books and I mean yeah. Bring books.
Doree: I mean, I bring, I would probably bring, um, a, a Kindle or some sort of e-reader um, just to like not have physical, like so much physical stuff lying around and you know, the nice thing of, if you have like an iPad is you can binge watch whatever you want.
Kate: I finally finished the second season of Bridgeton and I feel like that would be a great hospital watch.
Doree: Oh, that's a good binge. Yeah, totally.
Kate: Um, I just started severance, which I'm liking too, not quite really relaxing,
Doree: but I personally would not plan on picking the piano back during these during this time.
Kate: Yeah. I think you have to have to go into this knowing that, you know, one us, you, your doctors, they, no one knows how you're gonna feel after this. So I would, I would give yourself permission to let those two weeks go, however you need them to go and not feel like you need to accomplish anything, but also know if like you're sick of sitting around it's okay. You know, it might be more satisfying, like pick up an activity and I hope you.
Doree: that's very good advice.
Kate: Yeah. And I hope you recover swiftly and enjoy. And I hope that having a, a break is going to, to be nourishing for you.
Doree: All right. Um, we got interesting email.
Email: Hello. My favorite podcast host. I wanted to chime in on the woman who called in about wanting her husband to be his better self and essentially wanting him to make more of an effort on his appearance. I do agree with you both that it is not appropriate or kind to ask your partner to change their appearance. I do. However, wanna push back on your advice to the listener point of the gender bias here? The listener did note, her husband is 20 years older than her. Of course I could not help to think that if her roles were reversed and her husband was 20 years younger, there's no doubt she'll be getting Botox, going to the gym and doing all the things to look younger and thinner while yes, me, myself. I do love a serum and working out for my own pleasure. There's a huge societal pressure on women to look a certain way that men will never understand. I think this is a bigger issue again, of the patriarchy, but as women, is it so bad if we encourage our husbands to participate in our culture as well? Why is it always on us to invest all this time and money into appearances when we still make less?
Kate: Mm. What an excellent introspective question.
Doree: What are your thoughts on this, Kate?
Kate: I mean, you are right that there is a huge societal pressure on women to look a certain way. And I think many, many men may not understand, but I also think that some men may understand, um, I'm thinking specifically of conversations I've had with my, um, I male friends who are gay and pressure to look a certain way. Uh, and they're, you know, like fit very fitness oriented in, in different communities. Um, so I think like, I don't think it's a binary, you know, I think there's, I think there's a lot, a lot to be had here. Um, and again, like we need to, we need to state that we are coming at it as, as white women, because it's going to be different for us than for say, black women, Asian women, other women of color. You get what I'm saying here. Right.
Doree: I, I do.
Kate: So now that I think of all this and I say all this, I don't know, listener, I think you're right. It is always on us to invest. Do I think the answer is then trying to put our spouses through that? I don't think so.
Doree: Okay. So Kate, this was going to be my point. I don't think that the answer to wow. Look at how fucked up and patriarchal beauty culture is, is to make everyone participate in it. Like, I think the answer is to try to dismantle it. It like kind of reminds me of people who like, were treated really badly as assistance and think that then like everyone should kind of like, like that's like, they should have to experience that as well.
Kate: Oh, now this is interesting. Cuz this gets into like generation X work culture.
Doree: Yeah. I mean, this might be a stretch. It just like, I just, I, I want to gently push back on you listener and say like, why don't we all try to work together to dismantle this? Instead of like I just said, like forcing others to participate in it. I don't know. And, but again, like why is it on us to try, try to dismantle it? We, you know, maybe maybe men should be dismantling it. Yeah. I just, I guess what I'm saying is like, I think it's more complicated.
Kate: Yeah, I do too. And I think every individual situation is going to be different, right? Like we don't know if roles were reversed. If this listener would be getting Botox and going to the gym.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: Et cetera. We don't know.
Doree: We don't.
Kate: I do think the system is fucked and I think it's really challenging because I wanna participate and I also wanna dismantle it and I kind of don't know where to go. You know what I'm saying? I just spent, I do I know exactly 10 minutes. Yamering about wanting a vitamin C serum. Yeah. I mean, it's, this is the like vortex that we're all in.
Doree: Mm that's true. That's true.
Kate: And I don't know if we're gonna get out of it. So if someone wants to recommend a vitamin C serum, you know, hit me up because I'm, I'm tr I'm stuck here. I'm in it. I'm in the beauty culture as much as I wanna dismantle parts of it.
Doree: Oh my goodness.
Kate: Well, look, I, I think you really sparked an interesting discussion and question listener and I would love to get other people's thoughts on this.
Doree: Yeah, me too. Yeah.
Kate: All right. Well, we've gotta take a break.
Doree: We do. All right. We will be right back. All right. We have returned and we have another voicemail to play for your listening. Pleasure.
Voicemail: Hey, Kat and Dor, um, I just listening to an episode where you were talking about whether something was, um, an endorsement of yours and I just couldn't believe that y'all, haven't on the, of, en-DOREE-sment, I, that from when Dory endorses something, we call it an en-DOREE-semente. Um, I don't know what the, what the, um, Kate version of that is when you wanna use your brainstorm. Anyway, thanks to the love. You both much.
Doree: I mean, this is a listener after my own heart yet,
Kate: Doree, I was actually shocked that you, of the genius pun brain had not ever landed on this. Is this something you've done before?
Doree: Well, wait a second. Okay. Wait a second. I feel like it is slightly in poor taste. It's a bit ghost. If you will, to, uh, come up with puns based on your own name.
Kate: Oh, really? That's like a pun.
Doree: I don't know. Maybe that's my, just my own thing, but like, I feel like I, I don't know. I feel like I'm more inclined to make a pun with your name than I am with my name. Do you know what I mean?
Kate: Yeah. I think that's very selfless and egalitarian of you and I,
Doree: so therefore it was, it should have been on you this,
Kate: Oh my God. I love how your brain works. But the problem is I can't come up with puns. Like I can't, I don't hear wordplay. Like when I, the fact that the listener heard us say endorsement and then thought en-doree-sement, my brain never would pick up the doors. I just, it's just not there. Unfortunately. I wasn't built for puns. It's a real tragedy.
Doree: I dunno if I agree with that, but like, okay.
Kate: Do you think pun, do you Thinkability is a learned skill or like an inherent skill?
Doree: No. I just think that you, um, like you don't acknowledge your own pun, your own punnery.
Kate: I'm talking down about myself.
Doree: Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. That's what I'm saying.
Kate: Listener. I love this. This really gave me a good chuckle. So I appreciate this message. All right. Well, we got one text that was very sweet. Uh, this person wrote to us,
Text: hi, Kat and Dor just had to reach out to let you know it's very much still winter in Wisconsin. It was cold and snowed all day. Yesterday as my 11 year old was getting ready for bed. She asked for some hot chocolate, took one sip and whispered hot chocolate is self care and then disappeared into her room for the night. Thought you might enjoy the message even in sunny, California.
Doree: I love this so much.
Kate: I do too.
Doree: It's so pure and sweet.
Kate: We've had such sweet messages or just like anecdotes from the Youngs lately. Like remember nine year old Ernest. who wrote in about hot baths.
Doree: Oh my gosh. From Belgium?
Kate: Yeah. I just love that. That the young that these kids are thinking about these things, and I'm so glad that she's practicing self-care for herself.
Doree: It's so sweet. I love this a lot.
Kate: Clearly this listener has modeled this kind of wonderful people here.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: Also like, I'm so sorry it's cold in Wisconsin.
Doree: Yeah, me too.
Kate: You know, it's cold here in Los Angeles. It was high of like 71 today. So we are freezing over here.
Doree: Now. That's just mean.
Kate: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I, winter is the worst. Forgive me. Well, um, Doree, that brings us to the end of the road here today.
Doree: It does. It does indeed.
Kate: Um, it was a pleasure as always. Great to talk to you. Great to hear from all our listeners.
Doree: All right. Bye. Everyone.