Mini-Ep 294: All Jugs Welcome Here
Doree becomes a skincare consultant, and she and Kate discuss her toenail fungus influence. Then, listeners share another terrible superlative story, wonder about bras for the small-boobed people, and send their support to the listener with a stutter.
Mentioned in this Episode
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Transcript
Kate: Hello, and welcome to forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Spencer.
Doree: I am Doree Shafrir
Kate: And we are not experts.
Doree: No, but we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.
Kate: And this is a mini episode where we hear from you. We share your comments and thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability.
Doree: And please remember we are podcast hosts, not experts. And we do always encourage you to seek support first and foremost, from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.
Kate: You know, I just wanted to point out that it was recently highlighted to me how much of a non-expert I am. And, and we are, when we were talking about pelvic floors on someone had written in about PE floor exercises and we've got a ton of responses, but one of us, I don't know who made some comment about like, does everyone have a pelvic floor? Like including people with penises? Like we don't know. And, uh, a lot of people have written us to be like, yes, everyone does have a pelvic floor, no matter what your genital are. And I was like, yeah, that's right. We don't know because we're not experts.
Doree: Right.
Kate: It's true. We don't know about pelvic floors. I barely even know where mine is. Is it in my head? I don't know. I do know, but you know what I'm saying?
Doree: I do know what you're saying, Kate. I know what you're saying. If
Kate: You would like to provide feedback like that or anything else or questions, comments, what have you? Our voicemail and text number 7 8 1 5 9 1 0 3 9 0. You can also email us anytime at forever 35 podcast, gmail.com
Doree: Can do that and please do visit our website forever 35 podcast.com for links to everything we mention on the show. Follow us on Twitter at forever 35 pod on Instagram at forever 35 podcast. Join the forever 35 Facebook group at facebook.com/group/forever 35 podcast. The password is serums and sign up for the newsletter forever 35 podcast.com/newsletter.
Kate: Hey, do I did wanna mention something? Yeah. Which is that tomorrow in Las Angeles, I'm going to be quote in conversation with my friend Alyssa Susman, uh, in support of her new book. Funny you should ask, which is a really, really wonderful novel. I loved it. You read it, loved it. Uh, and that will be at Al's books. April 12th, Tuesday, April 12th at 7:00 PM Pacific time. And Alyssa will be signing books. It'll be really fun. I will be there chatting with her if you are in town and you love fun. Romantic reads, come say hi.
Doree: Oh, that's fun. I didn't know that was happening.
Kate: It is. You've gotta be vaed and maybe mask, but it'll be, uh, it'll be on, it'll be hot, hot and heavy over at Cali's bookstore. Oh, Largemont I wish
Doree: I could make it California, but I, but I cannot, you
Kate: Know what? I think that's okay. You came out in support of my book twice. I gotta say I did. That's true. That was, that was heavy friend lifting. I was extremely grateful.
Doree: Well, you know, it was the least I could do
Kate: Well. It was really meant a lot.
Doree: Um, Kate, I also just wanna mention that I am now giving personalized prod Rex through shop shelf, explain
Kate: To us how this works because okay. I saw you post this and I was like, whoa, I am into this.
Doree: Okay. So here's what happens. You go to shop my shelf.us/or for your slash consults. We will link to this in the show notes as well. And there you'll see a few different options. You can ask for a recommendation for one beauty product. You can ask for recommendation for two beauty products, or you can ask for a total nighttime skincare routine review, or I will recommend a buffet of products for you and kind of evaluate what you have going on already. Um, you fill out a brief questionnaire, you pay, I think it's $15 for one product rack 25 for two, and then the nighttime skincare review is $75. And then I get back to you with my ProRes.
Kate: It's pretty cool. Very cool. And I have already mentioned to you that I feel like I'm going to be reaching out. Well,
Doree: Please do, because I'm excited about this. You know, it was, I did a fun little thing on my Instagram story for the Sephora sale where I put up like one, a question box and said, you know, ask me if you want recommendations for the Sephora sale. Let me know. Um, and I got so many responses and I was like, oh, this is really fun. Like I like recommending these pros and you know what, now that we've been doing this podcast for four and almost a half years, actually know about a lot of pros.
Kate: Yeah. You are a bit of an expert. Dare we say. So
Doree: That was kind of enjoyable. And then I was like, I'm gonna do a little more of this. Um, and you know, these things, I enjoy it, but they do take time. You are paying me for my time and my expertise and, um, yeah, that's that.
Kate: So check that well worth it. You are a very good recommender things. So thank
Doree: You so much. I also do just wanna mention that forever 35 also has a shot my shelf with all of our products from recent episodes. And we're starting to put together shelves of like the pods, favorite moisturizers and like all that kind of stuff. So check that out as well. That is at shot myself, us slash forever 35.
Kate: Yes. It's really nice to have all those things in one place.
Doree: Totally
Kate: More organized than they are on our website. Yes, yes. You know? Yeah. Which has become, you know, after doing this for four and a half years, like we've talked about
Doree: A little, yeah. It's a little unwieldy.
Kate: It is. It is so Doree. Can you give us a bit of a toe press on nail update?
Doree: Oh, I most certainly can. So as discussed previously on the pod, I tried out dashing Diva's magic press,
Doree: Press on petty year after a rather unfortunate bout of, to fungus that left my big toes, like the worst kind of a mess and uneven. So even if I put Polish on them, which I was a little bit loath to do, given everything that's been going on with them, like they still look uneven and, and weird in my opinion. So I was like, what can I do about this? I was like, do press, it's press on. It's a press on pedicure a thing. Like I'd never even heard of it. Or it had never occurred to me to think of a press on pedicure. But lo and behold, it was a thing. I tried it you're supposed to you on for no more than seven days. I think I kept mine on for eight days.
Kate: It show
Doree: No sign of, of falling off. Like, it felt like I could have kept it on for a few more days, but I was like, mm, I don't know. Um, so you remove it with like a drop of nail Polish remover, and then you kind of gently pry it off with a little wooden stick that they include in the kit. And they, they came right off.
Kate: Okay.
Doree: There was no damage to my nail. There was like a little on a couple of the nails. There was like a little bit of glue residue left, but I was just able to sort of like roll it off. Kind of like it, wasn't hard to get off at all. Um, yeah. So overall great experience that I'm going to repeat.
Kate: This is a big, I mean, I really, when you were like, te I bought to press on nails, I was like, how is this gonna go? Not that I didn't like, believe in you or these nails, but I was just kinda like what? I just
Doree: Didn't imagine
Kate: Initially them on week.
Doree: Right. Initial like the, it, I think because also whenever I've personally, and I, I know that they make shorter press ons, but like my, my fingernail press on experience has never been like amazing. Yeah. Cause they're usually like too long. They fall off. Like, It just hasn't been great. So I, I too was going into this experience. I would say with like low expectations, I was hopeful, but my expectations were low and they were exceeded
Kate: Again. And I'm never gonna get over this one.
Doree: And, you know, as, as previously mentioned, my big toes are uneven. So I was worried that the toenail, the press on was not going to have enough surface area to adhere to. Oh, but
Kate: You showed them. But I
Doree: Showed them, I mean, one of them was, felt like it was a little loose and I did worry that it was going to come off, but like, it didn't, it was fine. And they was great. And my son was like, What mama have on her nails
Kate: Stop. Really?
Doree: And I was like, it's, I was like, it's nail polished. And they was like, Henry wants some. And then he made me put nail Polish on his little toenails.
Kate: Whoa. You mean you didn't give him tiny press on toenails? I
Doree: Did not. I felt like that might be overkill.
Kate: He's not really quite ready for those
Doree: Yet. No, I don't think so. But he was excited to get his nails done. Oh, he picked out a lovely gray
Kate: Good taste. Okay. Yeah,
Doree: He has good taste. What can I say
Kate: Now? What is this in the show notes here? About B complex vitamins.
Doree: Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What's
Kate: Going on over there, Doree.
Doree: Okay. So on a previous mini episode, someone had asked how I dealt with my top fungus and I and mentioned the prescription gel that I have been using. Right. But I, what I forgot to mention is that I Googled how to make your toenails grow faster.
Kate: Okay. The,
Doree: The internet told me that vitamin B complex vitamins can help. So I just started taking them.
Kate: So you just recently started, you haven't, you haven't been doing it long enough to see a difference or
Doree: Have you no, I've been doing it. It's been at least a month, maybe longer. It's, you know, it's hard to say toenails grow so slowly. I just figure it can't can't be hurting.
Kate: No, and I don't think so.
Doree: Um, so yeah, so I, I realize that I've forgotten to mention that and that, you know, perhaps that could help someone else.
Kate: You are really what I would call a toil fungus influencer at this point because wow.
Doree: I am so proud.
Kate: Yeah. I think you should really take that title and run with that because you know, between the fake toenails and the advice and now a vitamin, I don't know, this is really like, you should lead in this space is what I'm saying.
Doree: Thank you, Kate,
Kate: Carve this out for
Doree: Yourself. Thank you so much. I shall.
Kate: Okay. Well, sorry. We've got a lot of Interesting questions from listeners Coming up. It's always over the rest of this episode. Shall we take a quick break and come back, let's do that with some questions and comments.
Doree: I would like nothing more. All right. We have returned With a question that don't believe has come up
Kate: In which we, I don't think can answer ourselves
Doree: Also. True. Um, alright.
Text: Could you put out the call to listeners for cute bras, for small chested people, pepper is a bra company that I've shopped from. And literally the first time I've bras fit me as an adult with a 34 double a chest. I even ordered a strapless bra from them. Haven't yet received. But the thought of having one of those fit me for the first time is wild. I didn't know how much having a fitting bra would impact me until I got my first one, a couple of months ago. It's such a relief to have something well fitting. They're definitely outfit. I've gone without a bra in the past with, but it's typically, it's not typically my preference. So having a flattering fitting option has been life changing. I guess it makes me feel like there's not something wrong with me, which is kind of how it felt when no bra really fit correctly. Anyways, I love it. If listeners could recommend other brands that have bras for small chested women,
Kate: All right, let's hear it for our small boobs.
Doree: Let's hear it for the small boobs.
Kate: Yeah. Great question. Because Doree and I are we're, we're in the, you know, we're
Doree: In the D's.
Kate: We live in the D's and do I haven't honestly, I've had boobs since like elementary school. So I haven't, you know, this is, this has never been my journey, but I really am glad that this person wrote in. Cuz I feel like sometimes from my big booed perspective, I'm always like, oh, a person who has smaller breasts, they don't have to worry about it about bras and finding bras that fit, everything fits them, which isn't
Doree: The case.
Kate: So I really appreciate you Putting a voice to this listener. And I would love if people could share recommendations with us that we can then, um, bring on the pod.
Doree: Yeah. Um, yeah, I agree. And like it is one of those things where I don't, it's definitely not a one size fits all situation in terms of like what works for us as larger breasted women.
Kate: Of course. Yeah.
Doree: Does not necessarily translate when the bras goes. And I think some, you know, some bra lines don't come in smaller sizes and they, so yeah. So we'd love to hear from people who are also navigating this world.
Kate: Yeah. All boobs welcome here is what we're saying. All jugs allowed.
Kate: The more the merrier. All right. Doree, here is a fascinating question. Uh, picking back up on the superlative conversation, which we've been been kind of an ongoing theme we've been talking about over the past few months, someone wrote us and said.
Text: At our work away weekend, the company held an award ceremony. It was intended to be lighthearted with a mix of awards, like worst dressed, worst with technology and best team's background. The thing is I always find these kind of ceremonies to be mean spirited. They're supposed to be funny, but I would be mortified to be voted worst dressed. It would underscore that everyone is looking at me, judging me on my clothes rather than my work. I was voted loudest on conference calls. This is probably a fair cop, but also I have a barely managed anxiety disorder, which has me fairly obsessed with feeling like a, I talk too much because I'm nervous. And B everyone hates me. This lighthearted award has made me feel absolutely uncomfortable at work. And like, I need to behave differently. Am I being the fun police? Is this lighthearted team bonding or an extension of the yearbook superlatives much love to you both from London.
Doree: I was in shock. When I read this
Kate: Listener, this, there is nothing lighthearted about this. This is fucked up.
Doree: This is bullying. Yeah.
Kate: This is everything about this is flag. Yeah. Worst.
Doree: But like what the fuck?
Kate: Loudest on conference calls. I too would be spiraling if I was voted loudest on conference calls.
Doree: Honestly, this feels like a workplace where like, if you complained about something like this, people would be like, what? You can't take a joke. You're so sensitive. Like, it feels like a bullying workplace. I hate this for you.
Kate: I also hate it. And you, your feelings are a hundred percent. Right. And look, if some people enjoy this stuff, great. Do it in your private life. You know, like have an award ceremony for your birthday party. I don't know. This does not need to be incorporated into the workplace in which employees like this is just everything about this is terrible and unprofessional and inappropriate and wrong.
Doree: If it was all
Kate: Like, I think lighthearted would be like best teams background. Okay. How about like, right. I don't know, like brings the there's. No, I don't think there's any good way to do this, but I think if it at least had a positive spin, I would be more comfortable with it. But you listed one thing that's like kind of positive and the rest are just awful. And so I've I side with you a hundred percent listener. You are not being the fun police you are being. You're the only one who really sees what's going on here. As far as I'm concerned. Now I
Doree: Completely agree with this.
Kate: I don't know anything about your work environment. If there's someone you can this too, that you feel comfortable talking to about this. If there's like a HR that could actually deal with this, I don't know. But just know that we agree with you.
Doree: We agree with you and we see you.
Kate: Oh God. That gave me like
Doree: Lady. Yeah. That gave me, can you
Kate: Imagine sitting there being like, okay, we're gonna have worst dressed. And the, then you look around at all your coworkers voted for you as the worst dressed person in the fucking office.
Doree: No, I'm sorry. I truly think this is psychotic.
Kate: Like how? Just cruel. Oh, it's God. I'm again. I am really, I'm not it's with's
Doree: Awful. This it's awful. It's just like, why do people do this? It's not, it's not lighthearted. It's fucked up. Also
Kate: Like not to get on a soapbox here about corporate work culture, but like, we don't need to have awards at work. We don't even need to have work weekends. Like find a way for me to do my job in a way that's convenient for me. What is this work
Doree: Away weekend. Great point. I totally overlooked that in the, in my rage about the rest of this email, but that is also so offensive.
Kate: A work away weekend.
Doree: Why are they taking away your weekend? What if you have
Kate: Family or another job or a commitment or what
Doree: If you just don't wanna to spend your weekend with your coworkers?
Kate: I wouldn't quite frankly. No way.
Doree: That's it. Kim? I'm canceling the forever 35 work away weekend.
Kate: Well, you know what? I'm canceling our awards show.
Doree: Well, too bad. I already got the awards made.
Kate: Can
Doree: You imagine if
Kate: We voted forever 35 awards ceremony, you were voted. I what?
Doree: HT, That award you did.
Kate: That's an award. I would feel proud of the horsies.
Doree: You were voted nosiest. Look. I mean, it was close, but you were voted
Kate: Ho IIes. I would give you best hobbies.
Doree: Oh, oh my gosh. Thank you.
Kate: You have a really great variety of hobbies. Oh, but I mean again, can you imagine, I couldn't even do that with like our very tiny team that we work with on this podcast. No, it just feels so wrong. Oh, it
Doree: Does
Kate: God. Wow. I didn't really, this was gonna stress me out so much.
Doree: This really got us worked up.
Kate: Okay. Whew.
Doree: Okay. Moving on.
Email: Hi ladies. I currently live about a seven hour drive or quick flight from my parents who live, where I grew up. It's been nice to be able to go visit and spend more time with them since I can sometimes work remotely. But I'm starting to wonder if I wanna move. If I want to move to be closer to them, there have been some health concerns while nothing is critical. It makes me sad to think. The time I have left with them is getting shorter every day. I know you both moved across the country from your families and I believe your parents are still on the east coast. Do you ever feel like as they age, you wish you were closer to them, so you can spend more time with them. Have you ever seriously considered moving back to be near them? I'm single and without kids. So it might be easier for me to consider than those with families of their own.
Kate: I mean, yeah. I, my, my husband and I move moved across country because of our, because of his job primarily. Um, and we're here. Like, I don't think we're gonna be able to really live anywhere else for the foreseeable future. Like our work is now in Los Angeles, especially his, you know, and um, I hate being far away from my family. I, it, and I wish that they were closer all the time. Like there's just, and I like, and I have thought about moving back, especially after this pandemic, when it's like, do we need to be here? But unfortunately the answer is yes. So yeah, that's a, that's a really shitty part about life is not, is not getting to be near my family. Um, or my husband's family. They're also on the east coast. So yeah, it's something I feel a deep sorrow about. And if it's something that's important to you and you can make it work within your life and your job, I, I say like, why not? Especially if it's making you sad to think that you have less time with them and you, you have a good relationship with them. They're not gonna like bring toxicity into your life. You know, sometimes being close to family is not ideal for everybody.
Doree: I agree with everything you said,
Kate: There's my award,
Doree: Uh, most agreed with,
Kate: Oh God, maybe a good chuckle. I mean, is this something, you know, you think about tu do your parents are also in Massachusetts.
Doree: Yeah, I think about all the time, especially, you know, Henry growing up so far away from his grandparents is, is challenging. Also my brother and his family live in Connecticut. So, you know, if we move back to the east coast, we would be closer to both of them. Um, my sister's kind of equi distant right now from like east coast and west coast. So we wouldn't be, we would be maybe like half an hour farther on the plane. Um, um, but yeah, I mean, I've definitely thought about it. I don't know. I, like, I would say I have not ruled it out entirely, but it just seems It's like so much to take on the thought of like moving my family across the country that I can't like, I can't even really begin to fathom it. I know people do it all the time. Yeah. But I'm just like overwhelmed by the like logistics of it. Um, not to mention, like, I feel like I've, I've been in LA for almost 10 years. I've I've like built kind of a nice life for myself in Los Angeles.
Kate: Yeah. A
Doree: Community, as I said to Matt the other night, like I can't move back to the east coast. I have a poker game now.
Kate: Honestly. Yeah. You can't. So for this reason and this reason alone,
Doree: You know, so I don't know. There's definitely times when I'm like, oh, it would be really nice to be in your family right now. Yeah. And then there's times when I'm like, My life is really nice here. I mean, I think, think my ideal situation would be, if my parents decided to like snowbird in Los Angeles,
Kate: This is what I've tried to pitch to my dad, but my, my stepmom still works, so can't happen.
Doree: So my mom still works and I feel like she will work until she's like In the grave. Um, because not even, I mean, I'm sure that earning the money is nice, but I feel like she just needs something to do.
Kate: Yeah, totally. My dad's, my dad is retired and yet like has a bunch of like side gigs. Right. I don't think he could fully retire.
Doree: I can't speak for, so I feel like that is sort of like preventing them. Um, but I do try to like plant it in their heads every time they come out here, especially when like there's a storm raging in Austin, Austin, and it's like 75 and sunny here. I'm like, isn't it nice here?
Kate: Yeah. You'd be going for a walk and picking an orange trim tree. I mean, this summer, when I, I spent, you know, six weeks living with my dad in New Hampshire and I was like, should we move to New Hampshire? And then the, then the reality, there's the fantasy of it. And then the reality of it of like rebuilding a community for myself and living somewhere that's more rural than what I'm used to. And, and like, there's so many things that go into yes. All these considerations. Um, um, and unfortunately I don't see myself moving To New Hampshire, but Hey look, never say never who knows, but yeah. But yes, listener, I think, you know, your heart, it feels like your heart is guiding you toward what you wanna do here. And I don't normally say stuff that cheesy, but I kind of, I believe it in this situation.
Speaker 3: Hmm.
Doree: All right. Well, Kate, should we take another break?
Kate: Yeah, we've got a couple, uh, listener responses to, uh, an emailer who wrote in about their stutter. So we'll come back with that. All
Doree: Right. We'll be right back. All right. We are back
Kate: Doree. We received so many nice responses to this or original emailer. And I, we even had a few, uh, not a few, but a couple speech therapists reach out specifically kind of addressing the listener's concerns. And I just wanted to note that I have forwarded those messages to the op to the original poster.
Doree: That's very kind of you,
Kate: You know, it's the least I can do, but, uh, we received a couple, uh, listener responses too, that we wanted to share. I can indeed I can take this first one. Sure.
Doree: Go ahead.
Email: Thank you for reading the email from the stutterer and thank you to my fellow speech impediment buddy, for reaching out. I'm a stutterer in my mid thirties and keenly understand the pain associated with trying to navigate this quote, sneaky disability as you call it. For me, it manifests my inability to say specific words, especially starting with M and I tend to compensate by pretending I'm putting in a meaningful pause to my sentence when really my brain is frantically trying to come up with synonyms that I won't stumble on. It's exhausting. I navigate this in life and my, and my a career by being upfront, thanking people for their patience. After I finish a challenging sentence, or if it comes up in conversation saying flat out, I have a speech impediment and a stutter, and I'm really self conscious about it. People are always kind. And if they aren't, I don't wanna be around them anyway, calling it out makes me feel empowered and owning everything about me, including my speech. And I hope it makes you feel the same.
Doree: Mm,
Kate: Here, here.
Doree: Yeah.
Kate: You know, as I'm sure some listeners pointed out, you know, our president has a stutter.
Doree: Yes.
Kate: You know, and he's talked about that. And I think that's really, it's, it's powerful to have someone at that level give a voice to that, that experience, because I don't think it's something that I personally have really been familiar with.
Doree: Well, shall I read this next email,
Kate: Please take it away.
Email: Hi, long time, first time I'm writing in response to the listener who asked about their stutter impacting career moves, I'm also a lifelong stutterer, big hugs to this listener. It is so tough to still be dealing with a stutter as an adult. I wanted to share one tip and my take on a stutter and career growth. My tip is something I learned about 30 years ago in speech therapy, and still helps me today for public speaking. If I start to feel myself getting stuck, I take a breath and think don't hit the panic button, which is what it feels like when you start to stutter and can't get past it. If I have a big presentation at work, I'll even write, don't hit the panic button on a post-it and stick it to my laptop to have in view during the meeting and my take on stuttering and career, I'm a scientist and only realize after many years of grad school and post-doc that public speaking is a hugely important part of the job. I've often thought about detouring to a different career specifically because of my stutter, but I know that also be giving up on my dreams. I encourage you to also not let your stutter be a deciding factor in any career aspirations. Just go for it. Congratulations on the new job. And thank you, Doree and Kate for everything.
Kate: Ooh, what great advice.
Doree: I really appreciated this perspective.
Kate: Yeah, same. I love our listeners. I know. Uh
Doree: Aren't they they're,
Kate: They're getting so great.
Doree: I know. They're really great.
Kate: Like way to be so awesome, everybody.
Doree: Totally.
Kate: We have just such great listeners story. What a, what a, what a blessing.
Doree: What a, well, Kate, it's been a pleasure as always
Kate: So fun to talk to you and to hear from everybody. And we will talk to you next time.
Doree: Bye.